Dreamside (23 page)

The flood had made, the wind was calm,
and being bound down the river, the only thing for it was to come to and wait
for the turn of the tide.

It read the same second time around.

"Somehow I still don't trust
that," said Honora.

"Why don't you go back to
sleep," coaxed Ella. "You look like you need it."

"I'm not going back to sleep!" Honora
shouted.

"OK. Listen; I've got another
idea."

"Whatever it is," Lee said to
Honora, "you say no, and I'll say no."

"Agreed."

Ella bristled. "Why the hell do you
both think we're here? Why am I here? Why are you here? Are we just renewing
old friendships or what? Do I have to remind you that we're in some kind of
crisis? I don't know about you two, but I don't want to spend the rest of my
fucking life frightened to go to sleep! I want to end it!" She walked out
of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"She's right isn't she?" Honora
muttered.

"She's always right.
One way or another."

Lee found Ella outside in the garden. He
had stocked it with tall flowering plants. In summer it would be a paint box of
delphiniums, snapdragons, foxgloves and flags growing up beside the red-brick
wall. Along the top of the wall ran an untidy row of blue coping stones which
only habit kept in place. In one corner of the garden was a trellis
overburdened by a rampant growth of honeysuckle. In another corner, staked
against the wall, was an ornamental tree.

She stood
with her back to him, fingering the tiny pink match-heads of budding flowers.
Lee came up softly behind her.

"Cherry
blossom," she said. "I didn't even know it was here. It's getting
ready to flare."

"I
planted it years ago.
To remind me of someone.
But now
it's pulling up the wall." He pointed at the base of the wall where the
bricks, buckled by the tree's roots, pressed in towards the garden. "All
it needs is a good push. Let's hear the plan."

"You won't like it."

"Can it be worse than the business
in the church?"

"It concerns Brad Cousins."

"It's worse."

"Hear me out."

"I don't like it already. Neither will
Honora."

"We've got to do something."

Ella
stepped onto a brick protruding from the broken wall. She hoisted herself up
and hooked her elbows over the row of coping stones. Lee stood behind her.
"You'll have the wall down on us."

Ella didn't
reply. She was looking at something on the other side. In the waste ground
stood the girl she'd seen that morning, and had followed into the church.

She's
bringing this on us, she thought.

She looked
up at Ella and mouthed painful, silent words. They were visible, as if painted
on the air. The same words:
help me help me help me.

"What
is it?" said Lee, sensing something.

"Nothing.
Lift me
down."

"Are
you all right?" Lee lifted her down. He looked at her quizzically, before
hoisting himself onto the wall, to see what had startled her.

"There's
nothing there!" he said.

"No.
Let's go indoors. I'm cold."

"Lee,"
she said when they were inside, "you've seen something of Honora's
condition. She's not insane, though you may think
you
are before this
thing is through. And she's only the
first,
she's not
going to be the only one. We're all in danger. Something has started."

"What
has started?"

"I
just feel it. And it's coming to us all. How is your dreaming lately?"

"Every night a fight."

"To stay away from there?"

"To stay away.
I'm afraid
more than anything of going to sleep."

"And the repeaters?"

"Worse than ever."

"Then
you do know of the danger. All of those dreamside dangers, they're coming home
to roost.
Only here, while we're awake.
We can't hold
out for ever. It's got to be resolved."

"But how?"

"I
don't know. All I've got is ideas. But I'm not going to hide and pretend it's
not happening. And you've got to be strong." She held on to his sleeves.
"If you fall, we all will."

"What?"
said
Lee.
"Why me?"

"It's
true. You're the solid one."

But he knew
she meant stolid. He also knew that it was she who was the strongest one. She
was going to have to carry three others. She was just trying to give him some
of her strength. He looked at her and knew that if she commanded, he would try
to realign the planets.

"Let's
hear the plan."

"It's
not going to be easy. We've got to take another walk on dreamside, but this
time with Brad and Honora. Together we have to bury whatever it is that's out
there."

"Or
whatever it is that's in there. I'd say you've got about a fifty percent
resistance to that dreamside walk taking place."

"So long as it's no more than fifty per cent."

"I
said I'll do it, and I meant it."

"Firstly
there's Honora. You've got the influence. I know it. She's always harboured a
lot of feeling for you. You'll have to persuade her. She'll do it. She's got a
much more acute sense than you of the danger, and she's running out of energy.
She's been fighting it for longer. Make it clear she either does this thing
once and for all or she lives with it for ever. Tell her. Hold her hand. You
might even have to sleep with her."

"I hope you're joking, Ella."

"Push
her hard. You can bring her to it, whereas I know I can't. I know she'll come.
You'll have room to manoeuvre. I'll be away working on Brad."

"Will you be sleeping with him?"

"Only
with my space suit on, after what you told me. You worry about your own score.
You can't bring Brad along; Honora certainly wouldn't want to try; that leaves
me. I'm going to have to bring him, across my shoulder if necessary. I'm
calculating on him being in the same condition as Honora. If he is, I'll throw
him a line and he'll grab it. I'll go tomorrow, early. I figure we don't have a
lot of time before something bad happens to one of us, and I want to be gone
before Honora wakes up. I'll have Brad with me in under forty-eight hours or
not at all. I'll phone to let you know. And you know where to meet us."

"Yes.
I know where to meet you."

"I'll
also need to take some things of yours with me."

"Take
anything, Ella. You led me into this. You might as well lead me out."

"I
led you in?"

"I
never told you.
All those years ago.
I only ever went
to that first dream meeting because of you. I stood behind you in a shadowy
corridor, feeling horny, and I overheard you say you were going to the meeting.
So I went. I never expected the rest."

"None
of us expected the rest. Now let me tell you something about that first
meeting. If you hadn't stood next to me in that corridor, and I hadn't spoken
so loudly to make sure that you'd hear…That's made you look serious! Now kiss
me; because it helps."

S I X

"I
am real" said Alice, and began to cry
—Lewis Carroll

The next morning Ella was far
away before Lee woke up for the
third time, with
a frightened start. Each false awakening was like breaking through a thin shell
which would fragment and fall away only to reveal another one. This time it
occurred to him to get out of bed and pick up a book. He let it fall open, read
a paragraph twice and was relieved to find that it didn't change.

Honora
found him in the kitchen. He was muttering over broken eggs. "You're
awake," he said.
"Any repeaters?"
By
now it was almost like saying good morning. You heard the sentiment but not the
words.

"Lots.
Where's
Ella?" Honora looked better. She had colour in her cheeks and her hair
tumbled free over her shoulders.

"Gone to collect something."
He would have to tell her later. Ella had told him to
win her confidence, to get her to take that dreamside walk. How he was supposed
to do that was anybody's guess.

He
was still thinking about the episode in the church, and of his Perspex shrine
lying in a box in the attic. He could no longer pretend that Honora's problems
didn't concern him, or that he was in any way outside of events. His rational
objections had already dissolved, and he had been forced to recognize the
seriousness of Ella's mission.

"Where
did you say Ella had gone?" Honora said over breakfast.

"She
had to go out to get something."

"What, exactly?"

This
time he looked her deep in the eye before lying through his teeth. "She
didn't say."

Being
alone in the house with Honora made Lee feel on edge. He wasn't entirely
certain what was creating the tension, but she clouded the air. It disturbed
him. He cleared the dishes and busied himself at the sink. Honora hovered
uncomfortably behind him for a moment before going through to the lounge. Then
some movement outside the kitchen window caught Lee's eye.

"Wonder
what she wants here?" he said aloud. He went outside, leaving the kitchen
door open. Cold air fanned the house. Honora, who had also seen the girl,
waited breathlessly in the lounge.

Lee
wandered back. "Gone," he said, shutting the door behind him.
"A kid.
Sad little mouse, blue with
cold.
She looked at me as though she wanted something."

Honora
said nothing.

Lee
returned to the sink. Persuading Honora was not going to be easy. She would
rather be lowered into a pit of snakes than meet up with Brad Cousins again, on
dreamside or anywhere else. As for winning her confidence, Lee was out of
practice at getting close to people. Nevertheless, at some point he would have
to steer the discussion around to Brad.

Lee
plunged his arm into the hot water and took a plate. He heard the
ping!
and
felt it split as he lifted it out. The hot water had
broken it.

A
hairline crack appeared in the centre, spreading jaggedly both up towards the
rim and down to his wrist. But then the crack extended itself at both ends
simultaneously: at the top of the plate the crack skipped from the plate to rip
at the plastic bowl, releasing a tide of foaming water. Then with a groan of
tearing metal it wrenched apart the stainless steel sink itself, water gushing
through the breach in the basin. At the other end of the plate the crack swept
along the lifeline of the palm of Lee's hand. Skin cells popped and unzipped
bloodily, following the curve of a vein in his forearm, marking its progress
with a gory, congealed butcher's gash.

Lee
was rooted. He let out a tiny gasp. Then he jumped backwards and dashed the
plate to the floor where it shattered into minute fragments. The crack
breaching the sink repaired itself and closed up instantly. The gash in his
hand and arm healed.

Honora
came in. Lee was staring at the palm of his hand. Honora took it as if she was
looking for a burn, but she had already guessed part of the truth. The kitchen
floor was awash with water.

"What
happened?"

"I
don't know!" said Lee. He was still looking for the phantom gash.
"What
was
it? Did that really happen to me? It was like a . . .
like a memory flash from dreamside.
An elemental.
Oh God!"

"Come
through to the other room," said Honora.

"Are we awake? Or
are we sleeping?"

Honora
had already experienced these invasions into daytime. Lee hadn't, and was
shocked.

"We're
awake. This has happened before."

"Often?"

"No, not often.”

"But
the book
.. .
the
acid test.
I did it this morning."

"You
can't trust it any more. The old rules are broken."

"God,
I'm still shaking. I was being torn apart!"

Honora
was still holding his hand. She leaned forward and

kissed
it lightly.

"What was that for?"

"That was for you." Her eyes
were the blue of a lake.

"Honora, did you never meet anyone,
after you left the university I mean. Did you never want to?"

"My one experience of men was
enough."