Dreamlike State (The Magic of Black Forest Book 1) (20 page)

“Never mind, it is an embarrassing subject. Just forget that I brought it up. I like the color of the polish I picked, what is it called again?”

“Lilac… Nat, you can’t have sex with Brad. He could seriously hurt you, even kill you. You know that, right?”

“No I don’t. We haven’t had sex yet, but we’ve come pretty close.”

“Okay ‘Miss I don’t have any experience’ what do you consider to be close?”

“We’ve done some serious grinding on each other. Once he, well, you know. Since then he’s been all about pleasuring me. I’d like to do the same for him. It’s very erotic.” Remembering last night had my stomach doing flips.

“Okay. Well oral sex is out of the question, he’s not that type of guy, doesn’t even like talking about it. So all you have are your hands.” She laughed. “Nat, you can’t be serious, didn’t he tell you?”

“No, tell me what?” What does she mean we could
never
have sex?
She
can’t be serious.

“Brad has never been with a mortal woman, plenty of female vampires, even shape-shifters, but never with a human woman. Maybe you should talk to him about this. I don’t want him to be angry with me.”

“Colleen, I’m confused. There’s no way I’ll be able to talk to him before I go, I won’t tell him you said anything.” Before she would tell me anything else, she had me tell her what he told me about himself. Eager to get my answers, I told her everything he said word for word about how his mom was a human and his father a vampire. I gave her every detail he gave me.

“Hmm, I guess I could give you a little insight on why he won’t have sex with you. Now what I’m about to tell you was told to me in confidence. You mustn’t say anything, promise me, Nat.”

“I promise.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Bradley’s mom had told him about her encounter with his father. How he had swept her off her feet by courting her. She thought they were going to spend their future together. She had no idea he was a vampire. One late night when she was alone, he came over to her house, not knowing any better she let him inside. She tried to fight him off but he was too strong. She didn’t stand a chance. He viciously raped her then left her for dead.

“He could have given her eternal life or killed her but instead he left her there to suffer, bleeding to death.” Colleen continued painting my nail, struggling with our conversation about his mother’s horrible experience. I’d have to ask about the eternal life option later. There’s no way she’ll give up that information. “If it wasn’t for her mother she would have never survived being raped or the birth of Brad.

“All his life she warned him to be careful with the humans. She was a strong woman to raise a half vampire. From the day he was born she told him he was her miracle from God, a blessing.” She hesitated for a while giving me time to digest the information. Speechless, I felt sad about what his mom had experienced, yet thankful that she had the courage to give birth and raise him. Had she not been there for him he may not have survived or could have turned out to be a killer.

“Natalia, you know how Brad is with you, if he hurt you…”

“He’d never hurt me like that, Coll.”

“You’re right, Nat, he would never rape you. However, if he lost control by giving into the passion, you would get hurt. Vampires are strong. Lost in the moment he could thrust into you crushing your hip joints, thighs, and pelvic bones. I don’t think I have to explain what he could do to you internally. Your human body won’t be able to keep up.”

I recalled our first time, the night he heard my thoughts. During the finale, he was growling ferociously, with wild eyes, he struggled with his control. He started to hurt me until he looked into my eyes, then his passion softened, slowed. Our eyes fixated tenderly on each other, his dazzling mine, leaving me breathless. While he regained his control, I lost mine.

“Have you ever been with a vampire?” It would help to know if she’s speaking from experience or is it second hand knowledge.

“Yes, I was in a relationship with a vampire a few years ago. Actually, it was when Jesse was with that chick. He was someone to help me pass the time.” She chuckled. “He was a great lover. Not as good as Jesse though. He is a far better lover than I ever imaged. And I have been fantasizing about him for years.” Pausing she looked up at me. “Thanks again, Nat, for getting Jess and I together.”

“I’m so rude. I never even asked how it was going, too absorbed with my life.” I really wanted to hear how things were going, plus I desperately needed to change the subject. Thankfully, she was more than happy to tell me about her and Jess. They already lived together. They’ve barely been apart since he showed up at her door with the flowers and his heart in his hands, giving it to her completely.

When my nails finally dried, it was late so we decided to go to bed. We slept out on the living room floor. I’m just about to fall into dreamland when Colleen said, “You know how he is, Nat. He’ll avoid having sex with you but will do everything in his power to please you. If he thinks he only has two choices. One that could kill you or one to protect you, he’ll protect you. If you push the issue of sex you may chase him away.” She patted my shoulder. “Rest assured though, he will come back, no matter what he says. He doesn’t realize yet that he can’t live without you. You’ll be walking on a thin line so be careful or someone could get hurt. Good night, Natty.”

“Good night, Coll.” It took me a while to fall asleep after that. When I finally did, I kept waking up from nightmares.

My restless night made it hard for me to get moving and motivated. It’s when I thought about having to look Bradley in the eye, knowing what I know, and not being able to discuss it with him, that I panicked. I needed more time. I needed to get packed so I’m able to leave as scheduled. We were sitting on the porch when Colleen and Seager heard the guys turn onto my driveway.

“Remember, Nat, you promised. Jess and I’ll stay until you leave, to make it easier. Nevertheless, if you decide you no longer want to be with Brad you should end it sooner rather than later. If you tell him to go away, he will. I love Brad but I do understand it from your perspective. I’m not sure I could live like that, never being able to sexually express myself with my true soul mate. It would drive me insane.” I could’ve done without that last sentence. Well I refuse to let him go and have no plan of giving up on having sex with him. I want that more than I wanted to eat or sleep. If I didn’t need to breathe, I'd want it more than breathing.

Excited they were finally back, I jumped up waving hello and reassured Colleen, “I won’t say anything and thanks for the information. It meant a lot.”

Jesse insisted on making breakfast while Colleen assisted him. Watching them together, their love for each other, they were as one. It’s a beautiful thing.

Bradley attempted to get me to leave the kitchen but I acted as if I didn’t hear him, keeping myself involved in the conversation Colleen and Jesse were having. Colleen played along by including me as well. Over breakfast, we discussed Colleen’s new job and gobbled down food. Bradley didn’t eat, he just sat there holding my hand or running his fingers up and down my spine. It was when he put his hand on my thigh that I almost lost it. I kicked the table leg as I jumped up to move away from him. Jess, Colleen, and I laughed at that. Bradley didn’t see the humor instead he looked confused by my behavior today. Being alone couldn’t be put off any longer. Jesse insisted that he and Colleen had to leave, saying Bradley and I deserve a few minutes to ourselves.

They were no sooner off the porch when he asked, “What’s the matter, Natalia?”

“Nothing, why?” Darn, I shouldn’t have asked why. “I am upset that we have to go, that I won’t see you again for a while.” I wrapped my arms around his perfect body.

“You seem distant today, sort of like you don’t want me touching you. You practically flipped the entire table over when I touched your leg. Did I do something wrong?”

“No but it is your fault.” I couldn’t resist. I had to smile. “Bradley, you didn’t touch my leg, you touched my thigh. The same thigh you touched several times yesterday, it felt like it did then except we were in the kitchen with Jesse and Colleen. First my hand, then my back… the thigh almost took me over the edge. Do you have any clue the effect you have on me?” He just stood there while I ranted. When he was sure I was finished, he kissed me.

“Settle down, little lady, I was just asking.” He chuckled and sighed with relief. We both knew he was worried that something bad had happened. Something did happen but we still are and always will be together. I just needed to figure out a way to make it all work out. I’d have plenty of time since I wouldn’t be coming back up for a while.

Time to go, I jumped into my truck. Right before I pulled away Bradley took my hand and said, “I’ll be waiting for you and I’ll leave the light on. Natalia you are my reason for being.” He gave me one last kiss before I drove away.

Chapter 14

Time dragged when there was somewhere else you wanted to be. I’ve spent weeks here helping Melissa move in while I moved my things into storage. The next time I leave, I won’t be coming back unless it’s to visit.

Melissa’s mom insisted that my aunt and I spend Thanksgiving with them. When my aunt inquired about bringing two additional guests, Jim and Matt, they were more than happy to oblige. I had no idea who they were. My aunt just said they were friends of the family. I had a distinct feeling that she was up to something, that she had a purpose to her bringing these two strangers to dinner.

I thought about my parents a lot throughout dinner. We always had fun when we prepared our turkey feast. Funny thing though, I couldn’t recall my parents ever running around like Melissa’s. They must have used magic. We never had a huge mess to clean up like there should have been. The clean up always seemed easy. It’s pretty unbelievable that I never noticed how often they used their magic in our everyday life. I missed them so much especially today. I had to fight to stop the tears from pouring down. Thankfully, to my amazement, I did. I didn’t want to make today about me. Instead, we said a toast to them and remembered the good times.

The grey clouds and our feast seemed to make the day long and filling. I couldn’t wait to get back to the house and call Bradley. Also, Melissa decided to stay with her parents tonight so I’d have the entire house to myself.

It wasn’t until after the clean up that I realized what my aunt was up to. That’s when the pieces started to complete the puzzle. For some unknown reason, my aunt insisted on picking me up. “Let’s make it a new tradition,” she said. She didn’t want to make a new tradition. She wanted to play matchmaker. Unfortunately, by the time I figured it out I was unable to voice my opinion. Because she left without me and took Matt with her, leaving Jim to take me home.

When Jim pulled into my driveway instead of leaving his car idle, he shut it off and got out with me. Responding to the confused looked on my face he asked, “Would you mind if I walked you to your door?”

“Thank you, but that’s not really necessary. Thanks again for the ride. Happy Thanksgiving.” I waved and headed towards the door.

Did you ever get that feeling that someone was watching you? I had that feeling at this very moment. However, I wasn’t scared. My body felt excited, adrenaline ran through me. My body reacted that same way when Bradley was near. I skimmed the yard with my eyes and saw no one, nothing. If he were hiding somewhere, I’d never see him with my human vision. Vampires have a way to hide in the shadows. I’ll have to find a spell to strengthen my vision so that I can see in the dark. I’m just not sure if that’s something I can do. If I’m not careful, I could blind myself. If I decide to create a spell for it, I’ll definitely have to invite my aunt over to help me out.

“Nat, did you hear me?” Jim pulled me from my meditation.

“No sorry, could you repeat that?” Apparently, I missed a lot during the short walk from his car to my door. I hadn’t even realized he'd followed me. He explained that it was my aunt’s intent to get us together and that he had hoped that I’d invite him in for a drink or two. I would definitely be having a conversation about this later with her but for now, I needed to get Jim off my doorstep so that I could go inside to call Bradley.

“I’m sorry that my aunt gave you the wrong impression. My heart belongs to someone else, for eternity. Thank you again for the ride and have a nice evening.”

It angered me when I heard what he said next. “I’m not looking for love, Nat. I’m too young for that. However, if you invite me in I promise to show you a good time. It would be wrong for me to break my promise to your aunt.”

Slut! “
That
was not my aunt’s intention of a good time. Just leave Jim. I’m not interested. Have a good night.”

“Oh well, your loss. See ya. If you’re looking for a good time with no strings attached give me a call.”

I waited until he backed out of my driveway before I entered the house. As I entered, I vocally started expressing my frustration, “What an idiot. I can’t believe how many jerks are out there.” With the lights still out, I plopped down onto the couch.

“Were you talking to me?”
Seager asked.

Sighing heavily I replied, “No.”

“Then were you talking to me?”

My hormones screamed for him, I jumped up and moved in the direction his voice came from. “Bradley, you’re here.” He flicked on the light on the opposite side of the room. I spun around and my eyes gleamed with brightness, smiling wide with excitement. My body ached to hold him. To satisfy my need, I walked over and wrapped my arms around him tightly.

“Happy Thanksgiving, my love.”

“Who was that?” Had I been paying attention his question wouldn’t have came as a shock to me. He still didn’t wrap his arms around me. Instead, he gripped my elbows as if wanting to push me away.

Pulling my body closer to him holding on even tighter, I nonchalantly said, “He was a friend of my aunt. She asked him to give me a ride home.” Not wanting to waste our time talking about Jim I changed the subject. “I knew you were here. I could feel it. You know how you can sometimes feel someone watching you? Well my entire body felt you watching me. Had you not shown yourself, I would have never believed it. This is a wonderful surprise.” I thought we were done talking about Jim as he wrapped his arms lovingly around me while pulling me to the couch sitting me on his lap. Being close to him like this always made my pulse quicken.

“Do you know what his intentions were? They weren’t pure.” He kissed my neck. His lips felt so good against my skin that my breathing grew heavy.

“Yes. He told me he wasn’t looking for love. He just wanted a good time. I told him I wasn’t looking, that my heart belonged to someone else. Can we please talk about something else? We don’t even have to talk. We haven’t seen each other for weeks. How long will you be here?” I desperately wanted to change the subject.

He chuckled softly in my ear. “If you wish I can go and teach him some manners on how to treat a beautiful woman like you with respect.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere as long as I have something to say about it.”

“Whatever you want. I’ll need to leave by two in the morning to ensure I make it home by dawn. I’ve missed you, Natalia. When will you be coming home to stay?”

Every time he told me he missed me, I desperately wanted to ease his pain. If I could, I’d never leave his side but I know that’s not possible. I kissed him then brush my tongue across his top lip. He groaned in response.

“I figure it’ll take me a few more weeks before I’ll be able to leave. I have a few more things to take care of financially.” I couldn’t concentrate with his hands exploring all his favorite parts of my body. Before I realized it, we were both lying on the couch and he is pleasuring me, again not letting me touch him. Unlike last time, to prevent me from ripping it, he took off his shirt. His chest is so beautiful. He is truly angelic.

When he attempted to go for round two, I stopped him, got up, and buttoned my pants.

He waited patiently as I got myself a drink. But when I sat down at the kitchen table instead of returning to his lap, he asked, “What’s going on, Natalia?” I sighed. It’s really frustrating that he never lets me pleasure him.

“Why is it always about pleasuring me, never about you? You never let me touch you.” Hearing the sadness in my voice, he took me into his arms and carried me to the couch. “Bradley. No.”

Placing me once again on his lap, straddling my legs over his, he put his hand under my chin and looked deep into my eyes as if he’s trying to break through my protective shield. Frustrated when he doesn’t hear anything he sighed loudly, “It pleases me when I pleasure you. That is all I need.” He pulled my body closer to his knowing if he continued I wouldn’t be able to resist so I stopped him again.

“What about me wanting to pleasure you? That makes me happy.” Laughing softly he unsnapped my bra and cupped his hand around my left breast. My eyes rolled and I moaned loudly.

“Nothing pleases me more then when I hear you moan, groan, and say my name breathlessly.” He suckled my breast. I locked my fingers in his hair as I arched my back to press his lips harder against it. No, I can’t do this. It’s not fair to him. I won’t let him be in a relationship that he’ll never be able to feel the pleasure I feel. I have to force myself to get the words out; it’s almost impossible to do.

“No, Bradley, please stop.” With my fingers still twisted in his hair, I pulled him from my breasts. If he weren’t such a gentleman, he wouldn’t have let me.

“You don’t sound like you want me to stop.” He whispered. “Are you sure?”

“Why can’t we both enjoy ourselves, like we did the first time?” If we can’t have sex, we can at least do that.

Tenderly kissing my lips, he said, “Natalia, it’s too dangerous for you.”

“Please, Bradley, please...” I pleaded.

He chortled. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re impossible to resist when you beg?”

“No never, and I don’t beg for anything.” This information is good to know. Kissing the right side of his neck I plead, “Please, Bradley, please.”

“You’re not being fair, Natalia,” weakening, his voice wavered. 

“I need to pleasure you, too. Please.” I gazed into his eyes, and they are black as coal. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. Knowing that my pleading weakened his relentless control, I pleaded one more time.

Flipping my body from his lap to the couch, he rested his atop mine, between my legs. Grinding his hips between my thighs, I watched him closely through my new eyes. I hadn’t noticed it before, but being with me like this, was extremely hard for him. Growls rose from deep within his chest as he struggled to control himself. I know I should’ve stopped him but it felt too good. My hips thrust upwards, against his shaft.

Within seconds, his grinding became rough, too rough to bear. I cradled his face in my hands and his eyes snapped open. Breathlessly I reminded, “Easy, Bradley.” The moment he realized that his thrusts were hurting me he stopped and started to pull away. “Oh no you don’t!” I giggled. “Don’t stop, Bradley, please.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles, tying him to me.

Pressing his palm tenderly against my left cheek he said doubting his control, “I can’t without hurting you.” Pushing up on his hands he tried to escape. I hugged him and pulled my body up to his, securely intertwining my fingers behind his back. Laughing, I tied my entire body to his and held tight.

“Let go. It’s too dangerous for you. I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you,” he argued, fighting the vampire inside. “I can’t do this without hurting you.”

“Yes you can. Just keep looking into my eyes. I know you can do this Bradley. I trust you.” I rocked my hips, slowly. “You can do this, Bradley. I want to hear you scream my name,” I giggled throwing his words back at him.

Thwarted by his need to please me, he growled. The intense feral sound aroused me even more. Already on the edge and tightly wound, I knew it wouldn’t take me long to climax. Bradley, on the other hand, seemed to be in full control. Like the first time, I wanted us to cum together. To help him, I let down my shield partially so that he could hear and
see
how aroused he made me feel. Shutting my eyes, I closed the remaining gap between our bodies, grinding against his. Focusing, I allowed him to
see
inside my mind.

I knew he saw my thoughts when he spoke my name with great ardor, “Natalia.” Hearing him say my name that way, with such passion and fervor, I came right then and there.

A few seconds later, Bradley thrusts himself against me, growling passionately. He roared, pressing his hips hard against mine, spreading my legs wide. Pointy razor sharp teeth took hold of my throat as he came. It aroused me unlike anything else. The warmth of another orgasm cascaded, rushing through my body.

He stopped the moment he saw that. When I opened my eyes he was staring down at me, obviously disappointed with my reaction to his biting my neck.

He responded to my thoughts angrily, “You’re right. You liked it. It should have scared you. I didn’t do it to scare you but had I not seen your thoughts I would have really bitten you.”

“I don’t think you would have taken it any further than you did.” I let him see my thoughts one last time, in its entirety before I put my shield back up completely.

He winced and barked, “But I could have.”

“Please don’t ruin this moment. It was better than all the other times. The only bad part was that I came two times to your one. That was not at all what I was trying to do. I wanted it to be the other way around.” With my legs and arms still wrapped around his body, I kissed him intensely before saying, “I did, however, get you to say my name in such a way… well let’s just say that alone brought on an uncontrollable orgasm.” I brought my shield down and showed him only those minutes before putting it back up.

“Hmm. What am I going to do with you? You’re so willing to use my weaknesses against me.”

“With practice it will get easier for you. Tell me what weaknesses would you be referring to?”

“You,” he said as he touched the tip of my nose with his finger, “Anything, and everything about you.” Then we practiced a few more times before it was time for him to go.