Dreaming of You (30 page)

“And that reason would be?”
 

“Children.”
 

“Children?”  That certainly wasn’t what he’d been expecting to hear.
 

Melody clasped her hands together in her lap to keep from pulling at her skirt in nervous agitation.  This wasn’t going to be easy.  She took a deep, calming breath before she continued.  “I realize that you can easily fulfill your…er,
physical needs
…elsewhere,” she began, blushing profusely.  “But if you desire to have more children…I would certainly understand the need for us to…that is…I would be amenable to…satisfying those needs.”
 

Oh.
  Gavin was momentarily nonplussed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  “I see,” he said, for lack of a better response.  
 

“Do you?” she asked.  “Desire to have more children?”
 

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” he acknowledged.  He’d been so focused on William and Emma of late, that he hadn’t even contemplated the notion.    
 

“I admit that I have always longed for a large family,” Melody said softly.  “But of course the decision is ultimately yours.”
 

Gavin hesitated for a moment before answering, eyeing Melody thoughtfully.  She was a wonderful mother, he mentally conceded.  He’d seen that firsthand.  And though he hated to admit it, the thought of her warming his bed was a tempting notion, and the begetting of more children would certainly make that a necessity, he realized.  
 

Despite his lingering feelings of anger and bitterness, he couldn’t deny that he found Melody’s remarkable beauty and lush figure incredibly desirable.  It was a purely physical attraction, nothing more, he told himself.  So then, why shouldn’t he allow himself to benefit from the one positive aspect of their impending union?  It was certainly worth considering.  In fact, it only seemed fair, for she was definitely going to get a hell of a lot more out of their marriage than he was.  She was going to be the next Duchess of Rutherford, and as such, free to enjoy all of the benefits that entailed.  Why then should he deny himself access to her copious charms if he didn’t have to?  
 

However, the thought of children, of having more children,
was
a compelling notion as well.  Admittedly, he too liked the idea of one day having a large family.  “I suppose William and Emma would enjoy having additional siblings,” he said finally, in lieu of outright agreement.  “And as I’m sure you can imagine, my mother would assuredly be overjoyed to be provided with more grandchildren to dote upon.”   
 

Nodding in accord, Melody then turned her head to the window once again, doing her best to disguise her inner gratification.  Despite the internal warning that sounded in her head, telling her that she was the worst kind of fool, she stubbornly refused to take heed.  She was going to hold on to her tiny glimmer of hope with every bit of strength she had.
 

As the horses continued to pull the carriage along the darkened streets en route to Cavendish House, both Gavin and Melody contemplated their futures, but with markedly different expectations.
 

One week later, no one seemed terribly surprised when the announcement of the engagement of the Duke of Rutherford to the Countess of Edgington was announced in the London papers, however the haste at which the couple intended to wed did manage to raise a few eyebrows.  Although they were to have an uncommonly short engagement period, it wasn’t so shocking as to be considered
scandalous
, and mercifully the behind the hands tittle-tattle was relatively minimal.   
 

The day of their wedding dawned bright and clear, and as their three-hundred guests, a relatively small gathering by
ton
standards, moved from outside of the church to take their seats within the hallowed walls of St Paul’s Cathedral, the overall atmosphere of the crowd was celebratory and good-humored.
 

Standing in a small antechamber next to her parents, Melody tried desperately to calm her sudden nerves as she smoothed the full skirt of her beautiful, elaborately embroidered and heavily beaded, ivory silk and lace gown.  In distinct contrast to her first marriage to the aged Earl of Edgington, this day was far more similar to the fairytale wedding she’d oft-times imagined as a young girl, with one glaring exception.  Although the setting was right, for she certainly had the elegant church, the lavish gown and the groom who most-definitely resembled a fairytale prince, unlike the man in her youthful fantasies, she was painfully aware that Gavin wouldn’t be standing at the altar with undying love shining from his eyes as her father walked her down the aisle.
 

“I’m so happy for you, Melody,” Elizabeth Settrington proclaimed in a quiet voice, tears glistening in her warm blue eyes as she reached for her daughter’s hand.  “Although the earl was a good man, I always prayed that someday you would be given a second chance and that you would find a lasting love with the man of your dreams.”
 

“Thank you, Mama,” Melody replied, squeezing her mother’s hand.  “He truly is the man of my dreams.”  And indeed he was, but regrettably, and unbeknownst to her parents, Gavin’s lasting love was something she feared she might never attain.  
 

“You deserve nothing less, my darling.”
 

She didn’t of course,
not after what she’d done.
 
But alas, her dear parents knew nothing of the treachery she’d had a part in.  “It means so much to me that you and Papa could be here today,” she said aloud, her own eyes suddenly tearing.  
 

Arriving late yesterday afternoon, they had left Adam’s care to a trusted neighbor and friend so that they could attend the wedding.  She knew how difficult it was for her parents to leave her brother, whose health was still so fragile, but Melody was immensely grateful for their comforting presence.  
 

Elizabeth dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her lace-trimmed handkerchief.  “Good heavens, first a countess, and now my little girl is about to become a duchess.”  She smiled then, shaking her head in wonderment.  
 

“It does seem rather difficult to believe, doesn’t it?”
 

“Not to me, it doesn’t,” her father asserted, his own eyes moist, his expression full of pride.  “I knew you were special from the first moment I laid eyes upon you.  And you, my precious daughter, deserve every happiness life has to offer.”
 

“Thank you, Papa.”  Standing up onto her tiptoes, she placed a soft kiss upon his cheek.   “I love you both so very much,” she said then, glancing from her father’s beloved face to her mother’s.
 

Standing in his designated spot at the front of the church, Gavin’s carefully composed expression revealed no visible sign of his conflicting emotions as he watched Melody and her father walk slowly down the aisle.  She looked beautiful, he noted somewhat grudgingly.  Stunning actually, though her skin color was perhaps a bit paler than usual.  How odd it seemed, that in a matter of minutes the angelic-looking creature coming toward him, the woman whose selfish actions had caused him such tremendous pain and heartache, would become his wife.  Even now, with the ceremony but moments away, the bitter irony continued to astonish him.
 

However, turning his gaze to where William and Emma sat in the front pew, between Melody’s mother and Lady Settrington’s twin sister, Mrs. Esther Whitlock, he knew that he had made the right decision.  Catching his eye, both William and Emma smiled brightly, their delightfully animated faces reflecting their obvious pleasure and excitement.  In fact, just yesterday Emma had nearly melted his heart when she’d hesitantly asked him if once he and her mother were married, she could call him Papa.  For them, for his children, he would do anything, even this.  
 

For Melody, the majority of the ceremony was little more than a blur as she struggled valiantly to maintain her outward composure.  As much as she loved Gavin, she had never wanted this, never wanted him to marry her because he felt he had no other choice.  Fighting back her tears, she managed to say her vows without faltering when the time came, and then listened with a heavy heart as Gavin repeated his, knowing that even as he said them aloud, the words were insincere, lamentably hollow and meaningless.  Oh how desperately she wished they were true.  It was only when he lifted her veil to place the briefest of kisses upon her lips, that she finally lost her hold on her control, and a lone tear rolled slowly down her cheek.
 

Pulling back, Gavin noticed the telltale drop of moisture glistening upon her cheek and it gave him pause.  Looking intently into her sorrowful eyes, he was reminded of their first afternoon together.  He recalled how she’d turned to him for comfort, how he’d held her in his arms as she’d cried at the loss of her innocence, weeping as if her heart was being broken in two.  She’d seemed so ingenuous and fragile, a helpless victim just as he had been.  But she hadn’t been, not at all.  Looking upon her now, he wondered how it was possible that it had all been just a pretense.  Was her emotion genuine, or was this too just another act?  Even as the bishop grasped their arms and turned them to face the crowd, he struggled to reconcile it in his mind.
 

Forcing a smile to her lips, Melody could only hope that anyone who noticed her solitary tear would assume it was a result of the happiness she felt at being pronounced Gavin’s wife, as she and her new husband left the altar and made their way down the aisle past their cheering guests.
 

Exiting the church, Gavin immediately escorted Melody to the coach that sat waiting to take them the relatively short distance to his London residence where the reception was being held.  Once they were settled inside, he regarded her from across the short distance that separated them, studying Melody’s features.  Her expression was composed now, her blue eyes clear.  She was so breathtakingly lovely.  Had he imagined the momentary anguish he’d seen in her eyes?  “You look beautiful,” he admitted, seemingly unable to help himself.
 

Startled by the unexpected compliment, Melody’s eyes widened.  Aside from his vows, it was the first thing he’d said to her today, for she hadn’t seen him prior to the ceremony.  “Thank you,” she breathed, her voice scarcely more than a whisper.
 

They traveled the remaining distance in silence as Gavin, suddenly uncomfortable, promptly turned his gaze to the window, focusing his attention on the passing scenery.  
 

As toast after toast was made in honor of the newly married couple and morning slowly faded into afternoon, Melody was beginning to the feel the strain of maintaining her deceptively cheerful mood, especially in front of her parents.  Thus, even though she would miss them dreadfully, she couldn’t help feeling a twinge of relief when the last of the luncheon plates had been cleared, the cake had been cut and served, the final toast had been given, the last of the remaining guests had taken their leave and her mother and father finally readied themselves for their return home.
 

“Please tell Adam how much I miss him, and that I shall bring the children to visit just as soon as we are able,” Melody said to her mother as they stood in the grand foyer of the Montrose residence saying their goodbyes.
 

“Of course, of course,” Elizabeth said as she enfolded her daughter in one last loving embrace.  Then, turning once again to William and Emma, she bent down and gave each of them an affectionate squeeze and yet another kiss on the cheek, causing Emma to smile and William to grimace slightly at what he apparently deemed to be a rather excessive display of affection.
 

“Come along now, Elizabeth,” Baron Settrington said with a teasing grin as he gently pulled his wife in the direction of the front entrance.  “If we are to have any hope of arriving home before nightfall, we must be getting on our way.”
 

“Hmm?”  Reluctantly, she looked up from the children.  “Oh yes, I suppose we must indeed,” Elizabeth uttered, her disappointment evident as her husband continued to urge her toward the open front door.  “Thank you again for your generous hospitality,” she called to Gavin and his mother, waving goodbye to them both as she was ushered outside.
 

Standing at the open door until her parents had entered the waiting coach, Melody waved one last time before stepping back into the foyer.
 

“Your parents were simply delightful dear,” Jane said as she stepped forward, placing her hand lightly upon Melody’s shoulder.  “It is unfortunate that they are unable to spend more time in London, for I do believe your mother and I would get along quite nicely,” she continued.  “Perhaps when your brother’s health is less precarious.”
 

“I’m certain she would enjoy that,” Melody replied, immensely grateful for the kindness and consideration that had been shown to both her mother and father.  After alerting Gavin, Jane and Natalie to the fact that her parents knew nothing of the circumstances surrounding William and Emma’s true parentage, she was also tremendously thankful for their discretion.
 

Listening to his mother’s comments, Gavin couldn’t help but agree.  Much to his surprise, the Settrington’s were nothing at all like he had imagined them to be.  Initially skeptical when Melody had informed him that her parents were completely ignorant of the duplicity surrounding William and Emma’s conception, after having met them, his opinion had changed.  They were lovely people and difficult not to like.  In a sense, it made it somewhat easier to understand why Melody had gone to such lengths to secure their wellbeing.  But even so, it did little to excuse the extraordinary pain that she in turn had caused him and his own family.