Dreaming Awake (15 page)

“Please,” I pleaded.

“I’m just a coward—what do you want me for?”

I shook my head. “You’re not a coward. I have a feeling you’re probably the most heroic person I know.”

He laughed. “Right. Look, when I first got to this town, I thought it had the most wicked cool energy of any place I’d ever been. It was the purest high for a guy like me. But it’s getting murky and I’m scared. I wish I could help you, but I can’t.”

Amelia joined me. “It would really mean a lot to me if you could try to help my friend.”

They locked eyes and I felt like I’d just intruded on a very personal moment. Something passed between them and it was palpable to both Donny and me as well. Varnie nodded and Amelia smiled.

He stood up and I joined him in the middle of the room. He exhaled loudly, as if to voice his doubts, but his eyes were kind. He took my hand, turning it over to inspect the lines of my palm.

His touch was like a cattle prod directed at my brain. We both jerked back, surprised.

“What happened?” Amelia asked, concerned.

I looked to Varnie for an answer, but he appeared shaken, like he’d seen a ghost. “I don’t know. It’s never been like that before. Are you sure you want to do this, Miss Theia?”

Of course I didn’t want to, but I nodded my assent and held my palm up again.

He stared at it for a long moment, his emotions crossing his face in waves of anxiety. “There is something powerful protecting something it doesn’t want you to see.”

“Which is why I need you to help me see it, Varnie. I just
know
you have the ability to shine the light on the dark. I can’t explain it, but I know you somehow.”

“That happens a lot in my line of work.” His lips flattened into a thin grimace and he picked up my hand again. Like flashes of lightning, grotesque and morbid images strobed in front of me until all I could see was the montage.

Goblins dancing, skeletons, mangled women sewn with dark-laced seams . . . a writhing beast on a platter, a pink-tinged smoke, a man too old to be a boy but too young to be a man, a red dress . . . my father collapsing, shadows disappearing on a wall . . . a black rose, a red dress, a top hat, a first kiss . . . people glowing, a promise, hell, heaven, falling . . . a perfect heart, an imperfect desire, a woman with black eyes . . . a machine torturing my father, an aching hunger . . .
I jerked away from Varnie, the sensations still thrumming through my blood like electric jolts. None of the visions made sense, but Varnie looked shaken too.

“I’m not sure what just happened there. Usually I just pick up glimpses, but your energy packs a wallop.” He ran a trembling hand through his blond hair. “Who is Haden Black, Theia?” he asked.

Haden Black. The sound of his name opened up a vein. Haden Black.

He was everything.

“I need to find him.”

“I’m not sure that is a good idea,” Varnie said.

I squeezed my eyes closed and bunched my fists.
Remember, Theia
.

All of this, my current situation, felt manufactured. A spell maybe? When had I started believing in spells? I just had a sense that I was dreaming awake, that reality had blurred edges and blind corners. I glimpsed a shadow moving in the corner, but when I turned it stopped moving. “I don’t know how to make you all understand this—but we aren’t here. Or maybe we are, but it’s an alternate version of us.”

I looked into their faces and knew they didn’t understand. I didn’t understand either. What should I do? Amelia and Donny had been uncharacteristically quiet during the whole episode. They looked spooked.

Donny cleared her throat. “I had a dream about some guy dueling with a skeleton last night. He told me his name was Haden Black.”

Amelia clutched at Donny’s arm. “I had the same dream! Only there were more boys there too. Gabe from your English class and some guy named Archibald.”

Varnie whipped his head around. “What did you say?”

Ame wrinkled her nose cutely. “I said, I had the same dream, only there—”

“You said Archibald.” He was practically accusing her.

“Yeah, and . . . ?”

He moved into her personal space warily. “I’m Archibald.”

“I thought you said you were Varnie.”

“Wouldn’t you go by your last name if your first name was Archibald? My middle name is worse. Life seems to go much smoother if I just sign everything ‘A. E. Varnie.’”

“Okay, this is all very intriguing,” Donny began, but then changed her mind. “No, this is all very creepy.” She pressed her lips together firmly and her jaw squared with tension. “Your name and your dress code are very interesting, but not what we need to be focused on. What should we do?”

“I think we wait,” I said. I began to feel a chilling darkness deep in my bones, in my soul. Whatever was coming would find me. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be long.

*  *  *

A note on the fridge from Muriel let me know that my father would be staying in the city that night. How convenient. I hadn’t seen him since the disjointed episodes had started. Was that another indication that this reality wasn’t true? My arsenal for fighting whatever was happening was pretty slim: I could play the violin and recite by heart every line said by Mr. Darcy in
Pride and Prejudice
. I was likely the most ineffectual girl to save anyone, and yet somehow I felt as if I was the one who had to save us all.

I pulled out some snacks while I concentrated on the name Haden Black. He was the key to it all. He was what was missing. My charm bracelet clinked on the plate. I held my wrist up to examine it. It seemed like I’d always worn it, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten it. Another strange trick my mind was playing on me.

“Hello, Pussycat.”

A cold shot of fear spiked my blood. I dropped the plate and whirled to face a woman in my kitchen. I dimly heard the clatter of the plate hitting the floor under the roar of my heartbeat. The mad pounding of my pulse made me light-headed. I wanted to run, but all I could manage was a silent scream.

“Whoopsie. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She traced the fingers of one hand over the countertop as she walked towards me. Her fingernails were bloodred talons. Her slinky gown was black and looked like what some women would call a slip and wear
under
their dresses. Silver serpentine cuffs in the shape of snakes coiled from both wrists to her elbows. As if they knew I’d noticed them, their forked tongues wiggled.

Her other hand held a pink gift bag with curly ribbons and tissue paper peeking out the top. The whole thing had been bathed in glitter and sparkles. She held it out to me, but I shook my head, the only part of me that wasn’t paralyzed in fear. Whoever she was, she was my nightmare.

The smile that stretched across her lips filled me with more dread than a sneer would have. I had a feeling she was always most gleeful when she was at her most wretched. “My sweet little poppet, don’t be rude. I’ve brought this a very long way just for you.”

My hands shook as I reached for the sack, but I could not will myself to open it.

“Relax. It won’t bite. I’m too subtle for the obvious. The suspense is just killing me. Open it.”

My lower lip trembled. I had to bite the inside to keep from bursting into tears. I removed the tissue carefully. It looked like a snow globe inside the bag. Why would she give me a snow globe? I pulled it out slowly, not trusting that it wouldn’t snap at me.

“Shake it.”

Reluctantly, I did as she asked and held it up so I could see the scene inside. The “snow” was actually red and black hearts.

“They’re rose petals. Aren’t they precious?” the scary woman said.

As I peered into the heart-shaped confetti, little figurines replayed my misplaced memories in the glass with startling clarity. All of them. And now that they were there, I longed for the perfect state of ignorance once again. I remembered all the thoughts and feelings she’d stolen . . . and also the ones I didn’t want. The fears and doubts came back like a runaway car on a roller coaster in my mind.

As the hearts began to settle on the bottom, a new scene played out in the globe. Tiny people representing my friends were being swarmed by some kind of hairy beasts and skeletons. The fight wasn’t fair—they didn’t all have weapons.

“They’re in danger.”

“Are they? Maybe they aren’t. Maybe this is a trick, my darling. Or maybe this is a choice.”

“A choice?”

She placed the globe on the countertop. “You get to choose their fate. This”—she gestured to the kitchen—“or that.” She pointed to the globe.

Her words took their time sinking into my brain. “So, if I choose this, this unreality you have concocted, then they are all safe? What about Haden?”

“Ah, there’s the real question.
What about Haden?
Well, you see, in this reality, you never met Haden. None of that abysmal falling in love ever happened—you’re both safe.”

“And my father?”

“He never fell ill.” Mara pursed her lips. “I’m disappointed that he did to begin with. I really thought he’d have lasted longer. I must have been greedier than I realized.”

There was a catch, of course. I just needed to figure out what it was. “Why are you offering me a do-over? I know it’s not out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Don’t be impudent, child. I’ve extended an olive branch. I’d suggest you take it.”

I began moving slowly away from her, trying to put the kitchen island between us. “Where is Haden really?”

“He’s still home, where he belongs. Where he’s always belonged.” She shrugged and we began circling the island. “He’s as mopey as ever. That boy tries my patience. But he hasn’t met you, you haven’t met him, and the world is safe from your evil, demon ways. Why aren’t you happy? It’s what you wanted, after all. You haven’t been able to control yourself as a demon. Everyone is in danger because of you. Here’s your chance to fix everything.”

All the action in the snow globe had stopped. If I could save them . . . and my father, I should. And yet I knew there was more to it, more that she wasn’t revealing to me. “Does he remember me?”

“No. You never happened. This should be an easy choice. You give up Haden and you and your friends—and your father—get to live. It will all go away as if it never happened.”

I closed my eyes and remembered what it felt like to fall in love. All of that would be gone. Mara would be more careful with Haden now. He would never get to live as a human. He’d either spend his life longing to be human or he’d embrace his demon heritage and hate himself for it. I’d seen firsthand how important his human relationships were to him, how much he enjoyed belonging. And did I honestly believe that he would be better off never having loved me, even though we couldn’t be together?

“You’re asking me to choose between loving Haden or saving my friends and my father?”

“Heavens, you’re as sharp as a marble.” Mara reached across the counter and grabbed my wrists roughly, her talons drawing blood, but her voice was syrupy smooth. “Yes, that is exactly what I am asking you to do. Haden is squandering all his gifts to be a worthless human like you, like his father. I want him back. He is to inherit my kingdom and if you’re very lucky, he won’t decide to take over your realm someday as well.” Her voice became reedy with a venomous edge, no longer even resembling a human woman’s voice. And, oh God, her eyes. They were windows into hell. “I will stamp out every trace of humanity in him. It will be a glorious time for Under—he’s going to be the king of nightmares, Theia. I’ll make sure of it.”

She was the master of illusion, evil incarnate, and I knew in my heart she would never give me what she offered—absolution from what she perceived as an attack. “I don’t trust you, Mara. I’m not making this choice, because it isn’t a choice at all. It’s not real.”

She let go of me and crossed her arms. “I don’t understand what he sees in you. You’re worse than boring . . . you’re milquetoast.”

I blinked and we were no longer in my kitchen. It had been a fake reality after all. The room had one chair and nothing else but stone walls and floor and a door guarded by two of her skeleton henchmen. “Why did you put me through all of that? Why bother with all the drama and the mind games?”

“I had to see if you were ready.” Shrugging, she pointed to the snow globe. “Enjoy the show.”

“What show? Ready for what?”

“It’s going to be very amusing. I can hardly wait.”

Amusing?
“You didn’t answer me. Why would you go through the trouble of tricking me or making me think that I could save anyone?”

“I like games. Surely even you have figured that out by now.” She cupped my jaw in her hand, a hand I knew could break my bones like twigs if she so desired. “Your human minds delight me. I enjoy poking into the crevices and unearthing your deepest, darkest fears . . . and desires. They’re all the same to me.” My heart stuttered as she went on. “And I know your deepest fears, my little poppet. You’re afraid you’ll be just like me . . . and that is one nightmare I relish fulfilling for you. You’ll learn to love your work, Theia, just as I love mine. You think my blood is a curse, but you’ll soon realize it’s a blessing. I’m going to get you started with a front-row seat. You think you know your friends, but now you will see what they are really made of. Shake the globe, dear. Donnatella is ready for her close-up.”

She left me alone, taking her henchmen with her, though I suspected they would stay on the other side of the door. I picked up the glass globe from its perch on the chair. It was my only window in the stone cell. I remembered how Haden used to watch the human world from a mirror that served as a portal, how it was his torment and pleasure at the same time. I had no doubts that what I would see in the snow globe that acted as a crystal ball would only add to my anguish, but it was the only link I had. Haden had told me at the bowling alley that the
not-knowing
was scarier than knowing. I didn’t believe him then and I certainly didn’t now.

I sat in the chair and took a breath to steel my nerves. I shook the globe and peered into the glass and watched all of my friends live out their personal nightmares.