Dracian Legacy (8 page)

I shook my head, unprepared to hear what he said next. I drew my legs up to my chest, my arms encircling them in a tight grip, and placed my head on top of my knees, waiting.

“That I would die a coward. That when death and I see eye-to-eye, I would run the other direction.”

He sighed heavily before squaring his shoulders and facing me, discontented.

“Ren, I want to die with pride in my eyes, a smile on my face, and if I can help it, taking one last Telalian with me into death’s open arms. I want to die knowing I’ve saved another soul. Until my last breath, I want to keep fighting, if possible, even in death.”

“Why?” My eyes stung. For his courage to keep fighting. For his need to be valiant.

His voice came out quiet and trembled with painful emotion when he spoke. “Because I watched as they slit my mother’s throat. She used her last breath to protect me, and I didn’t do anything.”

A shocked gasp escaped my lips. How could I respond to something like that? Sorry wasn’t enough. What could I say to a boy that grew up so fast because he watched his mother die? No, he saw his mother murdered. And he blamed himself.

“How old were you?”

“Nine.”

I wanted to scream.
He was nine years old? Nine years?
My heart broke for him. I didn’t know what made me say my next words as I wiped the single tear I shed for Axel.

“Both of my parents were killed last year.”

It was hard to talk about this. I never talked about it. Not to Joshua. Not to Pey. I didn’t know if I could tell him my story.
But telling him about it might help him.

“My brother and I came home after a night out.” Words just rushed out of my mouth, without thought. My hand automatically went to the amulet my mom gave me when I was born. “My parents were acting weird over the summer, you know? Like they were preparing themselves for something. They finalized their will, got their finances in order, and my dad gave me his BMW Z1 that he bought with his first paycheck, which he never let anyone touch. I thought my parents were finally coming around to planning. They always lived for the element of surprise.” My eyes went to my chipped nails, my heart heavy in my chest. “But that night, when the knock came and I saw the sheriff, I knew something was wrong.” I paused, swallowing back the pain. “Joshua and I had to identify our dead parents’ mauled bodies. They were covered in cuts, bruises, and burn marks. The sheriff’s department thought it was gang-related activity.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. When I looked at Axel’s face, it showed pure torture. He ran his hand through his hair and avoided my eyes. He reached for me then but thought otherwise, drawing his hand back into a fist. I took a deep breath and wiped the tears before continuing.

“It took me over a year to recover from the shock of losing them.” I looked down at my hands and feet. “It’s been a year and three months since I’ve looked at anything that belonged to them or even been in their room. I forbade entry to my brother or anyone else that tried. I didn’t want the closure. It’s a stupid sentiment I guess. Cleaning their room meant I accepted their death. I-I… I don’t think I can handle that.”

I turned away from Axel, wiping my tears. I felt ashamed for being so weak. He was so strong and he mourned his loss by avenging his mother’s death. I, on the other hand, sulked in misery.

“Ren.” His voice was calm, inviting, and warm. I couldn’t look at him. It took every ounce of my strength not to run into his arms. He turned, placing his hands on either side of my face, tilting my head up to look at him. A jolt of energy flooded through me, awaking me, but I closed my eyes, refusing to look him straight in the eye.

“Please look at me.”

His pleading voice tore me inside and I gave in. I looked at his glowing turquoise eyes that showed so much concern and care. How was it he was so strong? He’d lost so much, yet here he was, consoling me.

“Ren, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You hear me? Everyone mourns differently. My way was to avenge her death. I was senseless. I was lost to rage. I was lost, Ren.” He let out a deep sigh, tingling my senses. “You, Ren… You’re strong.” He wiped tears off my cheeks with his thumb. “I can’t imagine losing both my parents. It would’ve probably sent me off the deep end.” He chuckled weakly. “And I was brought up around death. You didn’t and yet, look at you. You’re still in one piece and healthy and smiling.”

I gave a weak laugh. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew me last year.” I sniffled.

“You’re stronger than you know,
Meus Aeternus
. You’re strong and you have a heart of gold.”

His eyes bored into mine, intense and ablaze, searching for something. It was breathtakingly scary and beautiful. And I loved it. I was lost in a world where only Axel and I existed.

“Axel, I’m fi—”

Just then my phone buzzed and he dropped his hands from my face.

Pey: Call me when you get this xoxo.

“It’s getting late. We should probably head home.” Axel got to his feet first and held out his hand. Unlike the first time, I happily accepted his help.

“Thank you. Really, I never talked to
anyone
about…” I emphasized.

“Your secret is safe with me.” He smiled, understanding. “So, it seems we jumped the gun here.”

“Um…” I was confused.

“We seem to know each other’s deepest, darkest secret, but not really anything else. I want to know more about
you
.” He turned to me, once again looking at me with intensity that excited me to the core. “I want to know you, Ren.” His voice lowered as he said my name.

He wanted to know me. This gorgeous, absolutely perfect man wanted to know
me
.

“I would like that,” I said, smiling. “Axel.” I paused. “Your mom’s death isn’t your fault.”

“It was my responsibility and I froze. I failed.” His voice choked with regret, agony.

I placed my hand over his.

“Forgiveness brings freedom. Freedom from being controlled by the past. Freedom from the emotional ties. And freedom from the continuous battle with hate and bitterness. If you can let go, I promise you will be whole again and enjoy life the way I know your mom would want. You’ve already given back more than enough for something that wasn’t your fault.” I sighed. I moved my hands to cup his face between mine and he leaned into my touch, closing his eyes. “And you have to start with forgiving yourself first. You’ve tormented yourself far too long, Alexander.”

He trembled in my hands. He looked more vulnerable than I’d seen him.

“You need to let go. You need… no, you deserve life where love exists. Not hate, not vengeance. You deserve more and I want to be there to help you. Open your heart, Alexander, and feel what life has to offer.”

He opened his eyes and looked into mine in a way that left me breathless. His Adam’s apple moved like he wanted to say something that would break him further.

“Finding you was the best thing that happened to me, Ren. I l—”

I dropped my hand from Axel as my phone beeped for the umpteenth time.

Oh, for the love of…

Pey: Call me. Call me. Call ME!

“I guess we better get going before Pey goes crazy monkey on me.”

“I saw you talking to Jax earlier.” I looked at him, wondering where he was going with this. He ran his hand through his hair. “You guys seemed serious.”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “He… asked me out. On a date.”

“Oh.” He sounded disappointed and I felt the need to assure him.

“I was saved by the whistle,” I said, smiling up at him.

“So you don’t like him?”

I shook my head.
Doesn’t he already know the answer to that?

“Do you l-like someone else? Or have someone in your life?” he asked, unsure.

My face burned, which was probably the worst thing at that moment.

“Dean?” he asked, almost jealous.

“What?” I processed my surprise before laughing out loud.
He thinks I like
Dean
?

“I think we better get home, Axel,” I said, straddling the bike.

Axel didn’t hold back on the speed and I didn’t fear the bike anymore. I was definitely starting to get why Axel loved riding her.

CHAPTER EIGHT

“I can’t believe you bailed on me last night.” Pey hooked her arm in mine, looking very giddy. “You won’t believe what happened yesterday after school.”

“Um… You won the lottery?”

“Nope.”

“Landon proposed?” I grinned, knowing that was her heart’s desire. How many nights did we spend talking about her future wedding with Landon? Too many.

“I wish. But one—” Suddenly stopping, she turned to me, flashing a crooked smile. “Ingenious. You know, I underestimated your slyfulness.”

“Really? Slyfulness?”

She rolled her eyes. “You remember Jax?”

I nodded, not wanting to know where this was going.

“I think he’s into you. Like,
really
into you.”

“Pey…”

“No, listen. He wanted to know if you had a boyfriend and if you were going to the fall dance with anyone.”

“Ah, crap. I was hoping he’d give up.” Then I looked at her, doubtful. “You told him I don’t date, right? That I’m not going to the dance?”

“What kind of best friend do you think I am? Of course I did. I’ve got your back.” We were almost at the cafeteria. “But I don’t think he knows what no or
reeee
-jected means. So I just wanted to give you a fair warning.” She nudged me in the ribs.

“What?” I asked, annoyed.

She pointed to both Axel and Dean, who were looking in our direction. Dean winked at us as he played with Ella’s hair.

Axel had the most endearing look and I couldn’t help but stare back at him. Heat pooled in my cheeks as I took a steady breath, commanding my heart to slow down. He smiled at my reaction.

“You should go back to sweats like last year. Especially if you want to stay unnoticed. I think guys are starting to take note and you know how they think…” She wiggled her eyebrows. “With their di—”

I cut her off, shaking my head. “No shame, Pey. No shame.”

She chuckled.

Last year was miserable and I had no intention of going back to that. I took a seat across from Axel and next to Tyler as Pey mauled Landon.

“Seriously? I swear, one of these days I’m going to disown you as my friends. Hope it’s worth your PDA,” I added, smiling politely.

“You know, Ren, if you’re feeling left out, maybe I could help?” Tyler wiggled his eyebrows with a toothy grin.

I huffed out a laugh.
Is he being serious?

“Tyler,” Axel warned.

I opened my mouth to say something like
I can take care of myself
. But when my eyes connected with Axel’s, I found a gleam of possessiveness. My heart fluttered and my mouth went bone dry.

“She doesn’t date, Tyler. You’re out of luck,” Landon’s voice cut through my fantasies.

I snapped back to reality.
Date? Luck? What?
I glanced around the table, my eyes finally landing on Tyler.
Right
. His eyes twinkled with mischief and his lips listed in an evil grin. He looked pleased that
I
was squirming under his scrutiny.

Uncomfortably squirming.

“You know…” Tyler’s lips flattened and he moved his mouth closer to my ear. “Making out with a non-datable girl is a complete turn-on.”

“Argh…” I backhanded him in the chest, making him gasp for air. And I refused to apologize.

“I would never hook up with you, even if you were the last living being on earth,” I said, immediately regretting my choice of words.

“We’re all in for the senior party tomorrow?” Ella asked. “I heard it’s going to be top of the charts. Christian’s parents are out of town and… he has plans, if you know what I mean.” Ella looked back to Dean, licking her lips suggestively.

Axel eyed me. “Are you going?”

“Of course she is.” Pey answered for me. “We’ve been talking about this, like, forever.”

“I guess I’m going.” I sighed. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy it.” I scowled at my best friend.

“I’m sure if Axel showed up you’d be up for anything,” she whispered into my ear.

My nerves jumped and wished Dracians didn’t have dog ears. Because that would suck. I glanced up to find Axel staring right back at me, his cheeks a bit flushed.

Damn him!