As I was about to call her, I received another text.
Pey: Ren, if I don’t get a call right this minute, I swear to God, I’m coming over and beating the shit out of you.
Oh God, she was pissed. I sat up straight at the edge of my bed and called her within two seconds.
“Since when did you become so violent, Pey?” I asked, joking.
“Since I had a best friend that doesn’t answer my texts or phone calls. Besides, who are we kidding? I’ve got anger management issues.”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
“Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me.”
Oh, how well she knew me. I smiled. “Coffee? My treat?”
“Oh my, hot baby mamma. A promise ring.” I hugged my best friend.
“Can you believe it? He asked me last night during the dance. I was so surprised. I mean, I knew he liked me, but he
loves
me, Ren. This is un-freaking-believably awesome.”
“What’s not to love? How did you guys celebrate?”
She went into details about how he took her to Cheavoux de Boi restaurant, which required booking months ahead, all the sweet things he told her, and that he was going to join her in Seattle in the fall. I said my ohs and ahhs and gushed in all the right places, encouraging her.
“That’s one hell of a night.” I was really excited for my best friends. “Ohmygod! Did you guys have sex?”
“No,” she said, blushing. “We made
love
. And not for the first time, either,” she added quickly, taking a sip out of her cappuccino.
“What?” I yelled, causing everyone at Starbucks to look at us. I quieted. “What? When did that happen?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Like hell it isn’t. You lost your virginity and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want to overburden you when you were going through so much… the past year and half.”
I knew what “going through so much” meant—my parents passing away and my need to isolate myself. I felt guilt wrap itself around my heart. I was so self-absorbed in my loss, I didn’t even realize what a major step this was for Pey and I wasn’t there for her.
“I didn’t think you were that naïve. It’s not like we ever kept our hands off each other.”
My eyes widened and I spat the coffee in surprise. Leave it to Pey to make a joke out of something that’s so important to her. “Seriously, I’m okay with not knowing where your, or for that matter, Landon’s hands have been.” I traced my finger around the rim of my cup and looked back at her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you to talk about it. It must have been scary.”
She shrugged and crinkled her nose, grinning. “It was amazing, Ren.” Her voice dipped low. “The first time was so memorable. He planned everything. He took me to McCall and we did all the hiking, boating, wakeboarding. By the end of the night, I was so exhausted. He pampered me with massages. When I came out of the shower, he had lit the whole room with candles and laid a path of flowers for me to find him. When I reached the bed, I saw he wrote ‘I love you. Be mine’ in red rose petals.” She gushed. Pey never gushes.
“Aw, that’s so romantic.” I hesitated for a second, thinking. “I don’t want to know the details…” Then I remembered the vision from last night, how Axel and I moved our bodies, responding rhythmically to each other. It got super hot in the room all of a sudden. “How was your first time?”
“Why, Ren, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re trying to lose your V-card.”
I stuck my tongue out, giggling.
“It was amazing, and it hurt. Landon did everything he could, but there’s only so much he could do, you know?” She blushed seven shades of red. “But after that first time, it was like I was complete and we were beautiful.”
I cleared my throat, taking a sip out of my hot coffee.
“H-how did you know what to do?” I asked her. Being naked in front of someone, letting them see your flaws and vulnerability, it seemed so nerve-wracking.
“I didn’t. It all just happened. We… He took his time to make sure I was comfortable, and there was a lot of touching, lots and lots of touching.” She giggled. “I asked him later and he said he’d researched about first-time experiences and he was prepared.”
I raised my eyebrows, feeling the heat creep up to my cheeks.
“Now spill. There’s no way you’re still a virgin after sleeping through the whole day.”
“I
am
still a virgin, thank you very much.” I let out a heavy sigh. It was my turn to spill the beans. “My weekend could become a full-blown production on its own.” I sighed again. “On Friday, my brother and Cassie announced their engagement, then I made out with Dean that same night, and not twenty-four hours later, I jumped Axel.”
She gasped in utter surprise. So I went into details of the events, leaving out the exactly
how
I jumped Axel.
“O-M-G. This is major. You and Dean
and
you and Axel almost had sex?” She leaned back in her chair. “
That,
I never saw coming.”
“Dean and I didn’t almost have sex, nor did Axel and I.”
“But the intention is clearly there.”
I slapped my hand over my face. “God, I’m a horrible person. How did I go from not having any guys in my life to having two?”
“Poor baby, every teenage girl’s nightmare,” Pey said, playfully poking me as we headed out.
I shrugged. “I need to tell Dean Axel and I are together.”
“It’s going to break his heart,” she pointed out.
“He’ll be fine. I’m just another conquest, Pey. Best friend or not. That’s all I am to him.”
“That’s all a show because he cares more about you than he lets on.”
Somewhere deep inside me, I knew she was right.
Axel: Hi.
That one word carried a lot of weight in my heart. I texted him back, heading into the house.
Me: Hi back.
I found Joshua and Cassie making dinner. Both of them looked up. Joshua’s lips were pressed tightly together. Cassie gave me a friendly smile. I mouthed,
Am I in trouble?
She nodded.
“What were you doing sneaking into the house at one in the morning?” my brother asked, steaming with anger.
I pictured real steam coming from his ears and stifled a laugh.
“Oh, I think we found Grumpy. Better let Snow White know.” I tried to sound sarcastic, but it came out annoyed.
“Don’t think you can get away by joking around, Temperance.”
I flinched. The only time I was ever called by my name,
my full name
, was when I was knee-deep in trouble.
“You were out with a
boy
past your curfew.”
“Would you rather I be out with a
girl
?” I asked sarcastically.
I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. My parents taught me better than that. But it irked me that he wouldn’t trust my choices. Okay, maybe I went a little overboard with Axel last night, but I would have stopped before things could’ve gone too far.
I was sure of it. Maybe. Perhaps. But I wasn’t ready to admit it.
“Muskles, it’s not like anything happened. And if something did, it’s none of your business,” I snapped back.
I regretted it as soon as I said the words. Of course it was his business. He had a choice, but he gave up everything, so I wouldn’t be part of the
system
.
I
was his business. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he cut me off.
“Like hell it isn’t. When he asked for permission, I trusted that bas—”
“If you ever want me to talk to you again, don’t you dare.”
His posture stiffened. He balled his fists, like he was controlling his urge to lock me up in a tower and order one hundred guards to protect my virtue. I didn’t back down. It wasn’t like I did anything to be ashamed of. I’d never done anything to let my family down, and this pissed me off.
Cassie stepped between us, placing her hands on Joshua’s shoulders.
“Calm down, Joshy. Ren is a responsible girl.” She turned to me. “Your brother is just worried about you, Ren. He’s got that protect-my-little-sister-from-the-male-species syndrome. Especially, when it’s so obvious you like Axel as much as you do. He just doesn’t want you to make any hasty decisions. Right, Joshy?” When he didn’t respond, she elbowed him in the ribs. “Right?”
“Right.” He gritted his teeth. Cassie walked toward me, handing me a cup of hot cocoa. I took a sip and winced as the liquid scalded my tongue.
“Well, you can tell your
fiancé
he needs to trust me and I’m not a person that sleeps with a guy on the first date.” I raised my hand to stop them from speaking. “And, Axel is a perfect gentleman and he would never do anything to disrespect me.”
“Fine. But we still need to talk about safe se—”
“Oh, no… Don’t you dare say that word.” I shuddered with creeps at the thought of my brother lecturing me about safe sex. “That’s one word I’d rather not ever… I mean, never ever hear from you, muskles.”
“It’s not easy for me to talk about it, but better safe…”
I put my fingers in my ears and started singing really loud until his lips stopped moving and his hands came up in defeat. I saw Cassie laughing on the sidelines.
“I don’t know how you keep up with this maniac, Cassie.”
“Well, they say love is blind.”
She put her arms around Joshua’s waist and gave him a quick kiss. We sat down for dinner, continuing with small talk that had nothing to do with sex.
Thank you, baby cupid!
“Oh, before I forget, I’m going to Chicago with Pey next month.”
“Who else is going?” He dropped his fork in his plate.
“I don’t know, but I promised Pey to be there on her big day.”
He stayed quiet for a few minutes. I could see the wheels churning in his head. I braced myself for another round of banter.
“Okay.”
“But… wait. What? I can go? Just like that?”
He nodded hesitantly. “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, you know… the adult me wouldn’t do,” he quickly added.
My brother had crazy teenage years—drinking, partying, and getting into lots of trouble.
“Well, I was thinking about getting really drunk and having crazy wild sex with every guy I come across.” The look on his face was priceless. I took my plate to the sink. “Fine… only with my lucky boyfriend…” I ran out of the room before I let him say anything. I heard him growl and throw something in the sink that shattered to pieces.
“You know she’s only joking…” I heard Cassie soothe him. I don’t really get how she could keep up with his temper.
I had another text waiting.
Axel: I miss you. Can I pick you up tomorrow?
Not if he wanted to stay alive.
Me: You might be better off staying away from my house for a couple of days.
My phone rang to the tune of “Dance With Me.”
“Is everything okay?” Axel sounded terrified.
It was a wonder he wasn’t already here by the way his voice sounded.
“Hello to you too.” I flopped on my bed, laughing. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Joshua’s playing his brotherly part and brought up the birds and bees talk. I don’t think he’s too happy about me trying to sneak in this morning.”
“Oh!” He sounded relieved. “I thought…”
“For a guy who constantly deals with stressful situations, you sure worry a lot. Did anyone ever tell you, you could get wrinkles and gray hair if you do that?”
“I thought girls liked the gray hair thing,” he said, half-teasing. I chuckled. “Ren, there’s nothing more important to me than your safety. I don’t know if I would ever forgive myself if something happened to you. Especially now that you’re part of my world.”
I rolled onto my stomach with my legs kicking in the air.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you. But really, what’s the worst that could happen when I’ve got a tyrant of a brother watching me like a guard dog?”
“And a tyrant of a boyfriend,” he added. “So, hopefully nothing I’ll regret.”
“I liked you much better last night. A bit more carefree.”
Remembering the events of last night had my toes curling with tingles. Axel went silent on the other end, and then I heard him clear his throat, which made me giggle harder.