Dr. Campbell's Secret Son (7 page)

As Jack enfolded his mother in his arms, Sarah slipped away with a few whispered words to Bill. There was no longer any reason for her to stay. The family needed their privacy now more than anything else.

As she tiptoed away pictures of her father tossing her into the air and her subsequent shrieks of laughter came trickling back. Seeing Bill and his son together after hearing about their long estrangement brought memories to the surface she had kept hidden for a long time. The hurt of his abandonment had been so profound that she had been unable to think of him in anything but the most painful way. But, she realised, it hadn’t always been like that. It hadn’t always been disappointment and sadness. Her father had been a charismatic man and, she was forced to admit, at least some of her memories involved laughter and fun. Perhaps if he’d been a cruel man she could have borne it better, but he hadn’t been cruel, just careless of her and her feelings. Like Jamie.

* * *

Before Jamie went to check on Bill and Mary, he called into the postnatal ward to see Annie. They had agreed that she would go over to Jamie’s flat after she finished her shift at eight. That way if Jamie was called out he’d be able to go back to work at a moment’s notice. But he knew it wasn’t fair on Annie to let her continue to believe that there was anything more than friendship on his side. Although at the beginning the attractive midwife had said that she was only interested in a casual relationship, Jamie wondered if her feelings had changed. She had flirted outrageously with him yesterday in front of Sarah and he had to admit he had been slightly disconcerted. Annie had confided in him early on in their friendship that she had recently broken off her relationship with her boyfriend of four years.

‘I just got fed up with the amount of time he was playing rugby. Every night and then at weekends. I hardly ever saw him. So I told him it was either rugby or me. And—’ he could hear the hurt and indignation under the outrage ‘—he chose rugby.’

Jamie found Annie in the staffroom, catching up on her notes before going off duty. Not expecting to see him till their date later that evening, Annie grinned wickedly.

‘Couldn’t wait to see me, Dr Campbell?’ she asked teasingly.

‘I’m sorry to do this at the last minute, Annie, but something’s come up and I can’t make it tonight.’

Annie was philosophical about their broken date. ‘Only one thing worse than going out with an addicted rugby player—and that’s going out with a doctor.’

Jamie was taken aback. Although they had dated once or twice, he had been upfront with Annie right from the start. She knew he would be going back to Africa and wasn’t up for a long-term relationship.

‘I’m sorry, Annie, I think it’s best that we don’t see each other again, at least not romantically. I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, you’re great company, but you know I’m going back to Africa soon and, besides, my life is just too complicated at the moment. Anyway I suspect, however much you try to pretend otherwise, that your heart lies elsewhere.’

Instead of appearing hurt by his words, Annie shook her head.

‘Don’t worry, I always knew that our relationship was never going anywhere. It’s not as if you were anything less than honest about that.’ She looked at him ruefully ‘And you’re right, if I’m honest with myself, I guess I’m still in love with Mark.’ She smiled to show him there were no hard feelings. ‘Actually, Mark has been on the phone several times over the last few days—I guess he heard on the hospital grapevine that I’ve being seeing the gorgeous Dr Campbell, and it seems that rugby doesn’t have the same allure as it once had!’

Jamie looked at her suspiciously. ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but is that what yesterday’s performance was about?’

Annie dropped her eyes, looking shamefaced, before her face creased into a broad smile. ‘Well, it seems to have worked. You don’t mind, do you?’

‘Of course not. Not if it helped get you and Mark back together. But don’t you think those kinds of games can be dangerous?’

‘All’s fair in love and war. Or so they tell me. You know if ever you need me to do the same for you, I’d be happy to oblige.’

Jamie looked into Annie’s twinkling eyes. ‘As I said, my life is complicated enough. I only wish
I
could be honest…’ He left the sentence unfinished.

Annie looked at him searchingly. She sensed that there was a great deal that Jamie wasn’t telling her, but the look in his eyes stopped her from asking. ‘If ever you need a friendly ear, Jamie, you know where to find me.’

On impulse Jamie put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. ‘Thanks, but at the moment there is nothing anyone can do to help.’

* * *

Sarah gazed lovingly at her son as he lay in his cot, his long eyelashes casting shadows on his fat pink cheeks as he drifted off to sleep for the night. Her heart felt as if it would burst with love and pride for Calum, and for the thousandth time since his birth she was glad she had made the right decision in having him. If only Jamie would allow himself to love Calum, she thought, he too could experience the wonder of their child.

Leaving the door of the bathroom open in case Calum woke up, Sarah had a quick shower. As she pulled on pyjama shorts and a camisole top, the doorbell rang. Belting up her short cotton dressing-gown, Sarah frowned as she tiptoed barefoot to the front door. Who on earth could be calling at this time of night? Keeping the chain on, she opened the door just enough to see who was standing there.

‘Jamie! What are you doing here?’ she asked, although from the sympathetic expression in his deep brown eyes she thought she knew.

‘Can I come in for a minute? I know you said to phone, but some news is better delivered in person,’ he said quietly.

Sarah unhooked the security chain and opened the door.

‘It’s Bill isn’t it?’ she stated. ‘He’s worse?’ She felt her heart begin to thud in her chest.

‘I’m so sorry, SJ, but he arrested just before ten. The ward phoned me. They did everything they could but they were unable to bring him around. He died a short while ago.’

Although Sarah had expected the news, it was still a shock. ‘Oh, no!’ she whispered. She was used to patients dying. She had to be, working as an A and E doctor. But Bill and his wife, and their bittersweet reunion with their estranged son, had crept under her skin. She had hoped against all odds that this was one story with a happy ending. She tried to blink away the tears blurring her vision.

Jamie stepped closer. ‘Everybody did everything they could. You did everything you could, and gave him precious extra time to spend with his family.’ Without knowing how it happened, Sarah found herself in Jamie’s arms. She smelled the leather of his jacket as she rested her head against his chest.

‘His poor wife, how will she cope?’ she mumbled into his chest. ‘They’d been married for fifty years. They were everything to each other. How does someone go on after their partner of so long leaves them?’

Jamie was a little taken aback by her reaction. He had always known that Sarah let herself become attached to patients. But she usually hid it well, only ever showing a professional, cool exterior. Perhaps motherhood had changed her, softened her? Jamie was unprepared for the surge of protectiveness he felt as he stroked her hair tenderly. As she started to pull away, he cupped her face, gently wiping away her spilt tears with his thumbs. ‘At least Mary still has her son and he’ll be of some comfort and support to her.’ Jamie soothed softly. ‘And Bill was able to make his peace before he died.’

Remembering what Mary had said about fathers and sons, Sarah longed to blurt out the words that raged in her heart as she searched Jamie’s eyes for some clue as to how he felt about her and Calum. Why couldn’t he love her? And their son? Exhaustion and emotion brought fresh tears welling up in her eyes once more. ‘Shh, it’s OK, SJ,’ Jamie said huskily, and before she knew it, he was kissing her salty, wet cheeks, tracing the tears tracks down her face and then finding her lips and tenderly covering her mouth with his own.

Sarah clung to him, breathing in his intoxicating male scent. The smell of him and the taste of his lips sent her dormant hormones into overdrive. All she could think of as Jamie’s kisses became deeper, more demanding was how much she wanted him inside her. Maybe it was a reaction to Bill’s death, but for the moment neither the past nor the future mattered more than her imperative need.

She slipped her hands under the front of his T-shirt, feeling the muscles of his chest bunch and tense at her touch. She let her hands travel across his skin, first finding the indent of muscle at his lower back and then, as he groaned, pulling her hips towards him, she moved her hands, as light as butterflies, to just above his jeans button to the crisp hair on his abdomen.

Jamie removed his jacket, tossing it onto the floor. In the same swift movement he removed her dressing-gown and pulled her camisole top off over her head. Her nipples tightened with desire as he cupped them gently in hands still rough from years of climbing.

Jamie could not believe he had her in his arms again. And she had come so easily, as if they had never been apart, as if the feelings between them had not lessened with time. How soft and pliant she was, how inviting…The cold intrusive voice of reason made him falter. But was this fair to her? To revive a love affair that should stay ended? What the hell was he doing? He grabbed hold of her hips again but this time it was to peel her away from him.

‘I’m sorry, SJ,’ he groaned, ‘I can’t.’

Sarah stepped away from him as if she had been slapped.
He was rejecting her? Again? Did he think she was some sex-starved floozy who had been waiting for him to return so she could grapple him back into bed?

Before Sarah could think of the words to persuade him that her reaction meant nothing, a loud wail tore through the air.

‘What on earth is that?’ Jamie asked.

‘Calum,’ Sarah said quietly. ‘He must be looking for his next feed.’

For a moment Sarah and Jamie looked at one another. She felt slightly dazed. With trembling fingers she scooped up her camisole top and hurriedly pulled it on. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Sarah tiptoed silently into the nursery, leaving the door slightly ajar so that she could attend to Calum without switching on the bedside light. As soon as she picked him up, his loud cries changed to whimpers.

Jamie appeared behind her. ‘I’d better go,’ he said softly.

‘Yes, perhaps you should,’ Sarah whispered, not trusting herself to look at him. Suddenly she remembered his date with Annie Walker. Unbidden, an image of the gorgeous midwife warming his bed sprang to her mind. Was that why he had pulled back? ‘Ah, your prior arrangement with Nurse Walker—she’ll be wondering where you are,’ she stated flatly, anger rising, overcoming her embarrassment. What a stupid, lust-ridden, idiot he must think her.

Narrowing his eyes, Jamie said tightly, ‘Actually, Sarah, I cancelled my date with Annie tonight.’

‘Why?’ Sarah said, turning away from him so he couldn’t read the spurt of happiness she felt in her eyes. His voice was terse. ‘Because, like you, I have more than enough to deal with right now without—’ Before he could complete the sentence Calum began to cry in earnest.

‘Here,’ she said, handing him to Jamie ‘You hold him while I go heat up a bottle. I don’t suppose you can change a nappy?’

Jamie looked at Sarah in dismay. He was holding Calum at arm’s length, as if he were some kind of foreign object. ‘Change a nappy?’ he echoed. ‘You’re not serious?’

‘Why not? You’ll have to learn some time. Whatever else you are, Jamie, you are this child’s father, whether you like it or not.’ Sarah said, and turned on her heel, leaving her son and his father alone together.

Jamie looked at the small bundle he was holding. Calum’s cries had stopped and he was looking at Jamie with interest.

‘Hello, there,’ Jamie said.

Calum kicked his legs vigorously in response. For one horrifying moment Jamie thought he would drop the baby and changed his grip, holding him in his arms the way he had held hundreds of small children in his career. But this wasn’t any child. This was
his
child. A surge of love and tenderness for his son caught Jamie unawares. Oh, God, he groaned inwardly. What sort of future had he inflicted on this innocent baby? He
had
to find out the blood results before he became any more involved with either of them. He closed his eyes against the image of life without Sarah or Calum.

‘Ubh,’ he said as tiny, strong fingers reached forward and gripped his lower lip, yanking it forward. His eyes shot open, to meet those of his son regarding him intently. Strong hands. Jamie thought past the pain. He’ll make a good rock climber with a grip like that. And as an image of himself and his son several years older, climbing together, passed through his mind, Jamie realised that for the second time in his life he had fallen hopelessly and irrevocably in love.

Heated bottle in hand, Sarah stood watching Jamie and her son.
Their
son. He seemed so relaxed with his child and Calum in his turn seemed happy and contented with his father. She felt confused. What did it all mean? Jamie taking her in his arms, playing with his child. And how did she feel about it? She needed to know what was going on inside Jamie’s head.

‘Let me change Calum’s nappy and give him his feed. Then perhaps we can talk once he’s asleep,’ she suggested.

Jamie stood up, handing the baby over.

‘Talk about what, Sarah?’ he asked softly

‘Us. You and me. Well, maybe not us.’ She stumbled over the words. That wasn’t what she’d intended to say. He obviously had no intention of there being an ‘us’. ‘You and Calum.’

‘Of course I’ll make sure you are both well provided for financially.’

‘Financially?’ Sarah echoed, feeling the blood in her veins turn to ice. ‘Is that what you think I want? Financial help with a bit of sex on the side?’

‘I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I don’t think I can give you an answer to what you’re asking—not yet.’

Sarah felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. She had got it wrong—again! For a blind moment she had allowed herself to believe that Jamie wanted her as much as she wanted him. But what was even worse, he didn’t seem to want Calum either!