Down to My Soul (Soul Series Book 2) (39 page)

Under all that beauty, I see her lies.

She turns to the refrigerator to grab orange juice and catches sight of me.

“Oh, hey.” Pink tints her cheeks. “I mean, good morning. I didn’t know you were up yet. I know you had a late night.”

I don’t answer and don’t move, but her voice like molasses, thick and sweet, sticks to me, weakens my resolve. And if I speak or move, I might give away just how flimsy my defenses are against her, when she’s not even trying.

“Um, there’s breakfast.” She gestures to the eggs and bacon and toast she’s made. “I wasn’t sure if you . . . well, if you’d want to eat, or if Sarita was coming. And I wanted to make sure you, well, had . . . yeah.”

I would laugh at her rambling if I wasn’t so gutted by what I saw on that tape. If I wasn’t so furious with Drex and frustrated that I can’t rip his throat out for threatening her and exploiting her. So I don’t laugh, I just keep staring at her, not sure which move to make. Her eyes drop to the floor. She shifts her feet and shoves her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

“Say something, Rhys.” Uncertainty threads her words. “I can’t deal with the silent treatment.”

“Ironic since I did for two months.” I shake my head and move toward the coffee on the counter. “A few hours and already you can’t deal.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” She sighs and reaches up to grab a plate from a high shelf in the cabinet. The stretch pulls the cropped sweater up a little more to reveal just the bottom curve of her breast.

Dammit, no bra.

My mouth waters, and not for the food she’s plating. I sit at the counter, gulping down the coffee, even though it’s so hot it singes the lining of my throat. She sets my food down and takes the high-backed stool beside me, silently digging into her breakfast. Tension entombs the kitchen, sealing us in dead air and tight silence while we eat. After a few moments she tosses her fork onto her plate and takes a huge gulp of the orange juice.

“I thought it might . . .” Her words peter out, and she swallows. “I thought it might be better if I crash at San’s for a while.”

My fork hovers between the plate and my mouth for a few seconds. I drop it and swing my head around to stare at her.

“So you’re running again?”

“I’m not running.” She presses a shaky hand to her forehead, shielding half her face from me. “I just thought it’d be better for you. You obviously don’t want me—”

“Stop right there,” I cut in. “How the hell do you know what I want? How do you presume to know anything right now?”

“Well, you didn’t want to be anywhere near me last night and you’re barely speaking this morning. I thought you’d . . . I just thought it would make it less awkward while we figure things out.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it was for me not to fuck you in half last night?” I demand, voice low and tight. “And even now, not to bend you over the counter? I want you all the time.”

“Still?” she whispers, fear and hope twisting in her eyes.

“All the time,” I reiterate, my words softer, but still fierce. “But I’m still sorting this out, Kai. I just found out about all of this last night. You can’t just run every time we fight. If you hadn’t been on tour, I would have been at your door every day begging you to take me back, even knowing you didn’t want to see me. Knowing that you may have even hated me. It wouldn’t have mattered. I’d rather live with your anger and disappointment every hour of every day than be apart from you. All I’m asking is for you to show me you’d do the same.”

She’s off the stool and standing right in front of me as soon as my last word hits the air, her scent wrapping around me. Her eyes connected with mine, setting me on fire. Her hands cup my face, forcing me to look at her.

“Then you’ve got it.” The words are husky and breathless. “I want you to forgive me. I need it like air, Rhys, but I’ll be here living with your anger until you’re ready. I’ll take whatever you think I deserve, just don’t stop loving me.”

It’s a compulsion, my hands sliding down her waist to grip her hips, to pull her close. I press my forehead to hers, taking in her strawberry-scented breath.

“Pep, I—”

The door swings open, and Bristol walks in, dark hair scraped back, all suited up, stiletto heels clicking across the marble floor. Her steps falter for a second when she sees us standing so close. I reluctantly put space between Kai and me, returning to my breakfast.

“Morning, Bris.” I grab Kai’s orange juice and take a quick gulp to soothe the third degree coffee burn.

Marlon’s right behind her, his face more somber than I’ve seen it in a long time.

“Marlon, what’s up?” I take a bite of the toast smeared with preserves from Glory Falls. “Didn’t know you were coming. Did I forget a session or something?”

“I called him.” Bristol helps herself to a piece of toast and peers at the jar of preserves like it’s under a microscope.

“It’s strawberry preserves,” Kai says with a tiny smile. “I have pear, too, if you want that instead.”

Where Bristol hesitates, Marlon dives right in, grabbing two pieces of toast and loading them up with preserves. Grunting and nodding at how delicious it is.

“Grip’s here because I thought you might need some back up.” Bristol rolls her eyes. “Or at the very least a babysitter to make sure you don’t end up in jail, and I don’t trust Gep with that responsibility.”

“Jail?” I stop chewing. “What the fuck?”

“We found Drex.” My sister passes a glance between Kai and me. “Took Gep no time. Drex is in Topanga, just where San last spotted him.”

I spring to my feet and scrape the remains of my breakfast into the garbage disposal, the satisfying grind only making me wish it was Drex’s head I was shoving down that dark, greedy hole.

“Gimme the address.” I lean against the sink, arms folded across my chest. I can’t even look at Kai, who went completely still as soon as Bris shared her news.

“I hope it’s okay that I caught Grip up on some of what’s happening. Not all,” Bristol says. “You can tell him what you like, but I don’t want you going to see Drex alone.”

I shrug, avoiding the sympathy and the questions in my best friend’s eyes.

“Gep will be with me,” I remind her.

“Gep’s ex-CIA. Just as likely to water board Drex as you are, if it comes to that,” Bristol says. “Besides, you need someone who will keep you, not just safe, but out of trouble.”

“And you choose this pothead to keep me out of trouble?” A small smile quirks one corner of my mouth. A full on grin spreads across Marlon’s face as he chomps on a piece of bacon.

“I’m all you got, dude.” The grin slips a little, and he glances at Kai, whose head is bent over her plate. “You’ve wanted to kill him before, and I’m always the one who stops you.”

Maybe not this time.

“There’s something else you should know.” Bristol heaves a deep breath before looking at me. “The rental property Drex has been hiding out in, it belongs to John Malcolm.”

Kai’s head snaps up, and her wide eyes find mine.

“What?” I run my hands over my face and through my hair. “Are they working together? Is he protecting him for some reason?”

“I’m still figuring that out,” Bristol says, a grim, determined set to her lips. “But we’ll get to the bottom of it before the day is over. That you can be sure of.”

My wheels are spinning like a windmill in a tornado.

“Where are we with that other project we discussed a few days ago?”

“What other—” Bristol’s eyes light up as her brain makes the same connections mine do. “Far. We’re already far down the road with that project. I’m waiting to hear back from one last person. Should be done by the end of the day.”

“Don’t wait to hear. Wrap that shit up, and we don’t have until the end of the day. Now that we’ve found Drex, that’s at the top of your list.” I push off the counter and nod my head toward the door. “Come on, Marlon. Let’s go.”

“Gep’s meeting you there,” Bristol says. “Don’t go in without him. He was confirming one last thing with his techie friend at the CIA, but he knew you wouldn’t wait.”

“Damn right.”

Marlon’s out the door, and I’m right behind him, but I hesitate. Kai’s been quiet since Bristol and Marlon arrived. I know this is tough for her. Not just me knowing about the tape, but my whole team knowing. My sister and Gep. Now Marlon. Shame highlights her cheeks, but she takes another bite of her toast like this isn’t killing her. I cross over, tipping her chin until she has to look at me.

“Be careful,” she says before I have the chance to speak. “Please don’t do anything crazy because of me.”

I bend until my lips are suspended over hers.

“You’re the only thing worth doing something crazy for.” I press a quick kiss to her lips. “Don’t worry about it. About any of it, okay? Let me take care of this.”

“I don’t suppose I could come with you?” The question barely makes it past her lips, before I shoot it down.

“No way are you going anywhere near that douchebag.”

She drops her head a little, nodding.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Her eyes flick to Bristol ostensibly consumed with making coffee a few feet away. “I know you’re still angry with me.”

“Furious,” I whisper over her mouth, drawn to the sweetness beyond her lips despite my lingering hurt and anger.

She closes the few inches to kiss me deeply, sinking her fingers into my hair, gripping me until I couldn’t move if I wanted to.

But I don’t want to.

I wish I could forget about the tape and about John fucking Malcolm and just stay here and repair all that’s broken between us. She hurt me, like I’ve hurt her in the past, but every kiss, every touch, carries a balm that soothes me back into wanting every moment I can have with her.

“When you can forgive me,” she says, her breath coming hard, eyes melded with mine. “I’m yours.”

The look I give her penetrates as surely as if I’m sliding up inside of her.

“Pep, you’re already mine.”

And then I walk away from her while I still can.

IF BRISTOL DISLIKED ME BEFORE, AND
I’m pretty sure I can safely conclude that she did, she must hate me now. I clear the breakfast dishes so Sarita won’t have to, putting away the preserves I brought back from Glory Falls. The quiet begins to suffocate me, and I struggle to breathe evenly.

“I didn’t watch that tape, you know,” Bristol says matter-of-factly from her stool at the breakfast bar.

I pause, mid-load of the dishwasher, to glance at her before turning around to fully face her. I’m not sure what to say to the woman who has never wanted me with her brother. Even with her back turned, I felt her attention on us when I kissed Rhyson like my life depended on it before he left. That’s how it feels. Like my life depends on what happens next. I can make a name for myself. I’ll get another shot at being a star. I can find another manager since things are kind of falling apart with Malcolm. Rhyson is the only irreplaceable thing left in my life, and the thought of losing him . . . it levels me. Everything is flat until I have his forgiveness, and not even Bristol’s prickly self will get a rise out of me.

“I’m gonna go clean up downstairs.” I wipe my hands on a dishtowel, not addressing her comment. “There’s a mess in the music room.”

“You know he slept under his piano when you left?” she asks, eyes fixed on her coffee.

“What?” I pause at the kitchen door. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he was wrecked when you left him and wouldn’t take his calls.” Bristol sets her coffee down with a thud. “Thank God he had his tour to focus on those first few weeks, or he would have completely lost it. When he got back, though, we couldn’t get him out of that room.”

“I didn’t know that he—”

“Writing songs about you,” she presses on, eyes hard, voice brittle. “Missing sessions. Blowing off meetings. I’ve never seen him like that.”

She pauses, dropping her eyes back to the breakfast bar.

“I never want to see him like that again.”

“I don’t want him like that, Bristol.” I take a few steps until I’m standing in front of her. “He hurt me really badly, and I needed time to get over that.”

“And now you’ve hurt him really badly. Will you give him time to get over it?”