Down and Out in Bugtussle (38 page)

“Okay, he can kitten-sit,” Lilly says.

“I still can’t believe you brought these home with you,” I tell her.

“I love them,” she says. “They make me laugh and they’re sweet.”

S
unday afternoon, the wedding goes off without a hitch, and it’s a beautiful and wonderful ceremony. Tate walks me down the aisle and I can’t help myself from thinking, What if this were us? We have pictures made immediately afterward and the photographer is bossy and impatient. In all the hustle and bustle, I haven’t been able to say more than two words to Tate. He’s been very nice but seems distracted. As we wait our turn for pictures, I ask him how he’s doing.

“Oh, I’m fine,” he says. “I’ve been meaning to call you.”
Of course you have,
I think. I believe him because I want to. “And I’m nervous about making this goddamned toast.”

I don’t have time to reply because the photographer starts barking at us and we have to step up and smile for the camera. After the cutting of the cake, the dancing of the first dance, and the toasting of the toast, of which I think Tate does a stellar job, Chloe says that
she has to get away from the crowd for a minute. I follow her down to a sitting area by the lake where we’re soon joined by Lilly, Stacey, and Cameron. Jalena shows up a minute later with a bottle of champagne, a handful of plastic wine cups, and a bottle of water for Chloe. She pops the top and I hold the cups while she pours. We all sit back and relax, sipping and chatting and watching the lake change color as the sky gets darker.

“What a lovely evening,” Cameron says. “Chloe, you looked like a dream up there.”

“Thank you, Cameron,” she says.

“I tell y’all what,” Stacey says. “Chloe did look like a dream, but this girdle I decided to wear is a nightmare.”

“Go take it off,” Lilly says. “Get comfy.”

“I might later,” Stacey says. “I spotted a good-looking man in line at the punch bowl, so I’ll just tough it out in case I see him again.”

“So where are y’all going on your honeymoon?” Jalena asks.

“J.J. won’t tell me,” Chloe says. She narrows her eyes. “Do y’all know?”

“Like he would tell us anything he didn’t want you to know,” Lilly says with a snort.

“That is true,” I say.

“Okay, so I have an announcement,” Stacey says. “I’m going to summer school. Roll Tide.”

“Summer school?” I say. “So they took your classes?”

“Yes, they did,” Stacey says. “I’m moving to Tuscaloosa. Gonna graduate in August. My counselor over there is so nice. I have to take two online classes instead of one, but that’s okay because I’ll still be getting paid and my counselor introduced me to a financial
person and I’m getting a big grant. Gonna be able to pay my car off again for like the tenth time.”

“Stacey, that is great! Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Well, all of this was going on and I didn’t want to take any of Chloe’s thunder away. But I’m pretty excited.”

Chloe gets up to hug her. “Congratulations, Stacey. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have a job here next year.” She looks at me. “What am I going to do about subs in A and B Hall?”

“Hell if I know,” I say.

“Have you heard from Dax?” Chloe asks Lilly.

“Yes, they’re getting settled into their FOB or something like that. He claims that he’s fine and that he’s not in imminent danger. I try to believe him.”

“He’ll be home before you know it,” I tell her.

“I can’t wait.”

“So,” I say, turning to Chloe, “what are we going to name this baby?”

“Oh, I can’t even think about that right now,” Chloe says.

“Yeah, Ace, let her enjoy her shotgun wedding for a minute,” Lilly says. “Dang!”

“Thank you for that, Lilly,” Chloe says, getting up. “Girls, I need a hug.”

We get up and take turns hugging Chloe, the most beautiful bride I’ve even seen.

Cameron and Stacey start bragging on Jalena’s catering skills, and Chloe reaches out and takes my hand and then Lilly’s. “Y’all are the best friends a girl could ask for,” she says. “I love you both so much.” I hear a rustle in the bushes and turn to see J. J. Jackson
coming down the hill. “J.J.?” Chloe says. “Why didn’t you just come down the steps?”

“Your aunt Clareen is camped out up there, and I had to find a way around that, if you know what I mean.” He wipes his face with the back of his hand. “She’s always kissing me and she slobbers.” Chloe starts giggling.

“Sorry.”

“Hey, that ring looks good on your hand there, Sheriff Jackson,” I say.

“Yeah,” he says, looking at it. “I think so, too.”

“J.J.,” someone yells. “Is that you?”

We all look up to see Chloe’s aunt Clareen teetering at the top of the steps. “How did you get down there?”

“I think Aunt Clareen has a crush on you,” Lilly says.

“I need to get back up there,” Chloe says. She looks at J.J. “I just needed a minute.”

“Who doesn’t?” he says, glancing up at Aunt Clareen. “Oh yeah, and Ace,” he says, glancing my way, “Tate is looking for you.”

Lilly, Stacey, and Jalena start making all kinds of racket about that, and I smooth my skirt and say, “Well, who am I to keep the gentleman waiting?”

I find Tate leaning on the outdoor bar, which is made of stone and facing the lake. He’s talking big-game hunting with the bartender when I ease up and order a beer. As the bartender works the keg, Tate Jackson and I make small talk.

“So what about that aunt Clareen,” I ask, nodding toward J.J. who has just been approached by the silver-haired little lady. We watch as she elbows her way in between J.J. and Chloe.

“Oh, she’s a hot one,” he says. “Looks like the type to wear cheetah print underwear.”

The bartender has a hearty laugh at that while I stand there and smile. I try to bat my lashes like Lilly always used to do.

“I brought my boat up,” he says, like I know all about his boat. “You wanna ride up to Pickwick with me tomorrow?”

“I’d love to,” I say. And just like that, I have a date that I’m actually looking forward to. We wander away from the crowd, talking about nothing in particular, but it’s the most interesting conversation I’ve ever had in my life. When the band starts to play, he looks at me and smiles. He puts down his cup and takes mine from my hand.

“Ace Jones, would you like to dance?”

“I would love to.” Do I dare to dream again?

After two songs, the music stops and I’m sorely disappointed that I have to step away from Tate Jackson. Chloe appears on the bandstand with a microphone.

“Can I have all the single ladies over here, please?” she says sweetly. “It’s time to toss the bouquet!”

“You better go,” Tate says, and I roll my eyes. “C’mon, be a sport.” He pats me on the butt and I almost pass out.

“Okay, okay!” I say, thinking I should probably get away from him before I start humping his leg. I join the crowd of single ladies where Lilly is standing, looking like she wants to die, and Stacey Dewberry is hunched over like a lineman waiting for the snap.

“I hate this part,” Lilly whispers.

“Oh, it’s not so bad,” I say. “Just pay attention and don’t let it hit you in the face.”

“You probably want to catch it, don’t you?” she says with a coy smile.

“Hey, shut up,” I tell her.

“Ready?” Chloe says, and turns around. “Three…Two…One…”

Chloe launches that bouquet of red roses over her head, and it flies through the air as gracefully as if it had butterfly wings. And then it begins to come down closer, closer, and closer. I see Stacey reaching for it, but the bouquet soars just out of her reach. It’s coming right for me! Roses facing upward, the ideal position for a perfect catch. I put my hands up and my heart begins to pound. That bouquet is almost…almost…almost in my hand. I’m already planning my wedding to Tate Jackson when Aunt Clareen lunges in front of me, a streak of silver, and latches onto those flowers like a leech.

“I got it!” she yells. “I got it!” And then she trips and tumbles down on the deck. As she rolls around with her legs in the air, which I can’t help but think she does on purpose, I see that she is indeed wearing cheetah print panties. Now what are the chances of that?

“Safe!” Stacey Dewberry shouts, extending both of her arms like an umpire. And then we all rush to make sure Aunt Clareen is okay. Thank goodness and not surprisingly, she is. When the ruckus is over, I walk back to where Tate is standing. He’s holding two fresh drinks.

“Intercepted,” he says with a smile. He hands me a beer.

“That it was,” I tell him. “Thank you.”

“I was right about the underwear.”

“That you were,” I say. “Makes me wonder how you knew.”

“Oh, you don’t wanna know that,” he says. “But I will say that those cheetah print granny panties are almost the sexiest thing I’ve seen all night.” He drapes his arm around my shoulder and my cheeks starts to burn. “Almost.”

“And who is this fine young man?” I hear someone say. I turn to see Gloria and Birdie, both dressed to the nines and wearing wide-brimmed hats. Birdie isn’t conspicuous in her assessment of Tate Jackson.

“This is J.J.’s older brother, Tate,” I say, trying hard to stop blushing.

“Oh, I remember you,” Gloria says with a smile. “It’s been years. How are you?”

“Looks to me like he’s just fine,” Birdie says, and then commandeers the conversation, peppering Tate with questions until he’s summoned by the groomsmen who, no doubt, have some mischief planned for the bride and groom.

“I see you’ve found a man who likes to dance,” Gloria says.

“It seems that I might have,” I tell her.

“I’d be on that feller like white on rice,” Birdie says, checking out his backside as he walks away.

“Or something like that,” Gloria says.

“Definitely something like that,” I say. Who knows? I just might have to go buy myself some cheetah print granny panties.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Many thanks to Danielle Perez, Heidi Richter, Susanna Einstein, and Molly Reece.

Special thanks to Brandon, whose patience seriously knows no bounds. Thanks also to Wanda and Barry Raines and to Brent Raines. Very special thanks to Mandi Harris, Molly Crow Wren, Sandy Jackson, Melisa George DePew, Jenny Miller Little, Edgar Serrano, Michael Raines, and Aaron Raines. Thanks also to Tina Houston, Amy Gahagan Moore, Frances Yates, Mary Jo Smith, and Rhonda Lauderdale Goodwin.

A great big thanks to Cat Blanco of the Book Exchange in Marietta, Georgia; SIBA (Southern Independent Booksellers); Kathy Patrick and the Pulpwood Queens of Jefferson, Texas; the BB Queens and Lemuria Books of Jackson, Mississippi; Emily Gatlin of Reed’s Gum Tree Books in Tupelo, Mississippi; Lyn Roberts of Square Books in Oxford, Mississippi; Everyone at Thacker Mountain Radio; Tom Warner of Litchfield Books in Pawleys Island, South Carolina; B. Bronson Tabler of Tabler Law in Tupelo; Scott Thompson and the Ole Miss Alumni Association; Sue Ellen Babb
of Eaton, Babb, & Smith; Brant Sappington of the
Banner-Independent
/
Daily Corinthian
; Sam and Karen Grisham of the
Prentiss County Progress
; Cyrus Webb of
Conversations LIVE!
; Stephanie Bell Flynt of
Midday Mississippi
; and Karen Brown of
Mississippi Edition
.

Thanks to Mary Kay Andrews for sitting at a table next to me at the Mistletoe Market in Marietta, Georgia. That was a great day! Thanks also to Janis Owens and Michael Morris for the kind and encouraging words. And thanks to Jennifer Ingram Gillman for always being so nice.