Down a Lost Road (42 page)

“
You must be so proud of
yourself,” Mom murmured, patting him on the back.

He lifted a hand to his eyes, while I stared
disbelieving. Half of me wanted to look away, but I really just
wanted to console him. I wondered if I would ever really be able to
understand, or share, what he’d been through those three months.
Then he pulled himself together, extracted himself from Mom’s hug,
and turned to Dad and Maggie. Maggie rubbed his shaved head with
big sister attitude, but Dad just clasped his hand, met his gaze
firmly, then embraced him without any words at all. That was so
like Dad. He was never one for words when silence could speak just
as clearly.

Damian turned away a split second, dashing
his hands across his eyes again. I could tell he was trying not to
show it, but he failed miserably. We all pretended not to
notice.

“
Where’s Tony?” he asked,
voice husky, as he turned back around.

And that was the question I’d really hoped
he wouldn’t ask. Mom smiled at him, sadly, taking hold of one of
his strong arms.

“
He couldn’t make it,
Damian. He sends you his best, though. Wishes he could be
here.”

I wondered if Damian could tell it wasn’t
true. Poor Mom. I knew from the sincerity in her voice that she
desperately
wanted
it to be true. Tony hadn’t been the same
either, since Dad returned with Damian and me last summer. We’d
never really been able to explain to him and Maggie where we’d
gone, or where Dad had been all those years. It wasn’t the sort of
thing that could just be casually explained and then forgotten. And
so Tony had reacted to Dad’s return by distancing himself from the
family.

I could tell Damian had been hoping that
things had improved. But Mom didn’t fool him – I could tell by the
sadness in his eyes. He didn’t say anything to upset her, though,
just returned her smile and nodded.

“
So what should we do now?”
Maggie asked.

Damian suddenly spun around, head swinging
back and forth as he scanned the crowds. After a moment he stopped
looking and beckoned to the person he had located.

“
Mom, do you guys mind if a
friend of mine comes with us? He doesn’t have anyone here with
him.”

My mom’s mouth dropped open with complete
horror. “What, no family? No friends?”

“
Family’s not on good
terms,” Damian said. “It’d mean a lot to him. And to me. He’s like
a brother.”

The word held the very faintest touch of
venom. I thought of our absent brother, then pushed the thought
away. Tony wasn’t going to spoil this for us. After a moment I
realized that everyone was nodding approval, but Damian’s gaze was
fixed on me. I smiled and shrugged, the best affirmation I could
give. I couldn’t really say no. Even I couldn’t be that
heartless.

I watched Damian’s friend stride toward us,
and Darcy gave me a significant jab in the ribs. My heart sank,
just a little. He was tall, well built like all of the recruits, at
least as far as I could tell through the bulk of his cammies.
Good-looking, I had to give him that. Why did he have to be
good-looking? He carried himself just like a Marine, too, hands
clasped behind his back, head high, but there was a huge, silly
grin on his face. His dark eyes flitted over our little group, and
the smile got even bigger when his gaze fell on me. I blushed and
stared at the ground.

“
Guys, this is Eduardo
Garcia. Eddie, my fam.”

As soon we’d all been identified, my mom
seized Eduardo in a tight hug.

“
We are so proud of you,”
she said warmly, as if she’d adopted him then and there.

My dad shook his hand and gripped his
shoulder, then Maggie gave him a hug too. Fantastic. Thank you, Mom
and sis, for setting a precedent I would have to follow. Still, my
heart went out to Eddie. No one should have to face graduation all
alone, without anyone to cheer you on, to tell you they were proud
of you. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. And from the way his grin
had gotten wider than ever I could tell that their hugs meant the
world to him.

He turned to me expectantly. Damian was
watching me, too, equally expectant. Better and better – apparently
my brother had joined the conspiracy against me. I sighed, just a
little, and opened my arms. I gave an unintentional gasp of
surprise as Eddie practically threw himself into my hug, squeezing
me tight like I was a long-lost best friend or a long-absent
girlfriend. Yuck.

In some corner of my mind, I remembered the
last guy – not related to me – I’d let hold me like that. Yatol. I
could still feel his arms tight around me. Hear his words creeping
back into my memory,

“
I would go anywhere for
you.”

“
I stood at the gates of
Hell for you.”

I jerked away from Eduardo, heart hammering.
Oh God, I’d heard him. Heard his voice, right there. Right behind
me. I swung around, scanning the mass of humanity, but I only saw
crowds of families, friends, and young recruits. My hands started
shaking, then after a moment I noticed everyone in the group was
staring at me. I tried not to look at Eddie, but out of the corner
of my eye I saw him with his hands still extended, his face a
perfect mixture of confusion and embarrassment.

Damian touched my arm. I hadn’t even seen
him come up beside me.

“
Um, Mer, what’s the
problem?” he said in a low undertone. “It won’t kill you to hug
Eddie, you know.”

I couldn’t find my voice. Suddenly Damian
pulled his hand away from my arm, studying me now in genuine
concern.

“
You’re cold as ice and
shaking. You okay?”

I instinctively clasped my hands on my upper
arms, self-conscious with everyone still watching me.

“
Nothing. Sorry, D. I’m
okay. I didn’t mean anything by it, just…got a funny feeling all of
a sudden.” I had to do something to salvage the situation with
Eduardo, at least for Damian’s sake. I cast around for something to
say, then settled on the truth. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I just thought I
heard someone call me, and it kind of freaked me out. Not so
pleasant memories.”

Eddie relaxed, but instead of grinning and
waving it off like I expected, his confused expression dissolved
into concern and he hugged me again.

He rattled off a stream of Spanish that I
only half-understood – and I was pretty sure I didn’t want to
understand the other half – and finally ended in English, “You let
me know if anyone here is bothering you, and I’ll take care of it,
right? Me and Damian, we got you covered. No worries, okay?”

I hid a grimace behind a smile and nodded.
Sometimes I didn’t understand myself. If I’d been any other girl, I
would have been in absolute heaven getting this kind of attention
from this kind of guy. Suave, hot, fit, my twin’s best friend –
what wasn’t to love? I could feel Darcy’s accusing gaze, wondering
the same thing. So why didn’t I seem to get it? I couldn’t help
pulling away, at least on the inside. Anything less felt like I was
betraying Yatol. All of my sane, mature, practical self was
screaming at me to move on, to get over it, to let the past die,
but I just couldn’t do it.

My gaze roved one last, desperate time over
the crowds. I’d heard his voice, as clearly in my ear as if he’d
been standing beside me – not the vague, quiet, internal voice of
memories and dreams. But it wasn’t possible. My throat burned and I
struggled to push back the rising knot of tears. I wanted it to be
possible. It was all I really wanted.

Chapter 2

The others were carrying on a lively debate
around me. Lunch, right. We hadn’t eaten since some ridiculously
early hour in the morning. Most Marines and families went to a
particular restaurant, apparently, as a kind of Family Day
tradition. Damian grimaced as he told us his drill instructor would
be there for us to meet. Eddie laughed and told us that the DI’s
never smiled. Ever. It was like they just didn’t have the smile
muscles.

A little later and we found ourselves in the
elegant restaurant, surrounded by DI’s stopping by all the families
to chat about the recruits. They were some of the scariest looking
people I have ever seen, and I’ve seen a few. But I noticed the
deep respect on Damian and Eddie’s faces as they watched their
former instructor come toward us. It was almost awe.

The instructor shook all our hands, the
faintest glimpse of something possibly resembling a smile touching
the corners of his mouth. I caught Eddie and Damian exchanging a
silent, expressionless glance that still screamed surprise, and
couldn’t resist a little grin.

The DI shook my hand last. Since he’d
already chatted with my parents about Damian’s performance through
boot camp, I expected him to just greet me and go on with his
rounds. But he stopped and studied me curiously.

“
So you’re Merelin? Twin
sis?”

I stared, a little taken aback and more than
a little tongue-tied. I would never have survived recruit training,
I realized grimly. Give me an Ungulion any day and I’d be fine, but
give me a Marine drill instructor and I’d be a pathetic quivering
blob in minutes. Finally I managed a nod. I couldn’t even get out a
“yes sir.”

The DI turned away, taking a couple of steps
and then spearing me an uncompromising glance that told me he
expected me to follow him. Though he wasn’t an exceptionally tall
man, that didn’t make him any less intimidating. He had the body of
a small bear. A small, compact, hairless bear. I took two steps and
crossed my arms protectively, not intending to look petulant.

“
You know, when your
brother was my recruit, he took charge of his platoon almost the
first day. Hit the ground running and never stopped to look back.
Real natural leader, that one. I said to myself one day, ‘That
boy’s done this before.’ I didn’t know how. Impossible, I told
myself. He’s barely out of training wheels and pull-up diapies. But
he just acts like a real seasoned soldier. And you know what he
told his platoon? I heard him say it again and again, and I thought
first time around he was dressing down the babies, giving them
hell, toughening them up. Then I realized he really meant it. He
wasn’t making fun.”

“
What did he say?” I asked.
It was the obvious question – the DI had left out that crucial bit
of information.

He almost smiled again. “He’d tell his men,
‘My sister is tougher than you.’ Or, ‘This wouldn’t stop my
sister.’ Things like that. Like I said, I thought he was dressing
them down – no offense to you. But he really meant it.”

He surveyed me carefully, head to toe,
obviously appraising me to see if I was worth Damian’s esteem. I
dropped my arms to my sides and lifted my chin, trying to meet his
gaze with something resembling confidence.

“
I’m sure he was
exaggerating a little,” I said.

“
Oh, I don’t doubt it,” the
DI replied, so surely that I felt myself blush. “But he’s a good
judge of men’s mettle. Like I said, a natural leader. He saw
something in you. And to be honest with you, you got to be
something of a symbol around his platoon. A glorified emblem of
honor and victory and the whole damn Corps. I think some of them
had shrines set up to you by the end of training.”

“
I’m sure those wouldn’t
pass inspection.”

The DI actually gave a hoot of laughter,
clapping me on the shoulder so hard that I had to gasp for
breath.

“
You’re a piece of work,
Merelin Lindon. But my thanks to you for being an inspiration to
those recruits.”

“
I hope I don’t
disappoint,” I said.

“
Not at all.” He wagged his
finger at me. “Enigma, that’s you. Not a
disappointment.”

He turned away, shaking Damian and Eduardo’s
hands again, then strode off to visit some other hapless family. I
met Damian’s puzzled glance, and in unison we both lifted our hands
in a bewildered shrug. And suddenly there was Eddie, his arm around
my shoulders.

“
Holy sh—shells and bells,”
he cried, squeezing me in a sideways hug. “Was that a laugh I heard
from our hat? Make me a liar!”

I smiled faintly and edged out of his grasp.
“Hey, Damian, can I talk to you for a sec?”

He nodded and headed outside, where the hot
San Diego sun blazed down on the palm trees and the yellow stucco
walls. We found some benches situated around a pretty fountain, but
neither of us moved to sit down. Damian watched me quietly, hands
behind his back, face expressionless. I slanted a glance at him and
almost smiled. Before now, I’d only ever seen that look on his face
when he was concentrating, or deeply worried. It was like boot camp
had been a big bolt of lightning, freezing his face in that
expression.