Double-Cross My Heart (37 page)

But Eden cared. No matter how frequently she reminded herself of the real facts—Wendi’s ineptitude and dishonesty, Michele’s decline, the very real importance of saving the jobs of everyone who worked here—she still felt like a heel and a worm. A lying, deceiving whore.

Hadn’t she slept with the enemy?

Dropping her head into her hands, she groaned. Even as bad as it sounded, she couldn’t regret that! She’d loved being with Alex, pretending that he was actually interested in her more than the company. She’d ached to be in his arms and no matter how fiercely she resisted the emotions, she still longed for him.

God, she was more like her mother than she’d ever known.

She’d told herself over and over that her actions had been a matter of self-preservation, but that surely didn’t include her succumbing to his charms. In coming to care for him, she’d put herself, her feelings, in terrible jeopardy.

Swallowing hard, she raised her head. It didn’t matter. How she felt toward the man had no bearing on the reality of the situation. She really had no choice.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

“I’m glad you came to share Thanksgiving dinner with us,” Jessica said as Eden retrieved her coat off the pile on Jessica’s bed. “Are you sure you can’t stay any later?”

Eden shook her head. “I have to get my shit together at this board meeting. I need to spend some time gathering everything…my thoughts really. I need a focused presentation.”

“I know.” Her friend hugged her. “I know the board will recognize that you’re the best for the job. It’s so obvious!”

“And you’re biased, bless your soul,” Eden said fondly, returning the hug.

Jessica stepped back, helping her with her coat. “Why do you think Alex hasn’t contacted Michele? You’d have heard the explosion if he had already dropped the bomb. So what’s holding him back?”

“I don’t know.”

The question plagued her night and day. She slept fitfully, her head a jumble of thoughts and nightmares. Waking up was a relief, but didn’t help her make any more sense of the situation. “Maybe he’s waiting until after the holidays. Maybe he’s out of town. Could be anything.”

“Well, don’t worry about it anymore than you can help,” her friend recommended. “No matter what he says, you’re prepared.”

“Like a Boy Scout,” Eden joked with a grimace.

“So you’re set. One board meeting away from the thing you’ve been working for all this time,” Jess told her with a big smile. “And then--happily ever after.”

For a moment neither one of them said anything, but Eden knew they were both thinking about the other, more personal, side of “happily ever after.” It didn’t do any good to have regrets, she told herself fiercely. Her whole relationship with Alex was based on a lie. Lots of lies.

Joking to push away the pain, she said, “So I’ll be in charge of things at Michele Cosmetics. Michele’s has always had the reputation for being a ‘women’s’ company. My promise, if I should be elected, is to make the corporate level at Michele’s a much more parent-friendly environment. Corporate day care, a generous family leave time and all that stuff.”

“Sounds great!” Jessica beamed at her.

“So, can we tempt you back to work when I’m in charge?” Eden asked over her shoulder as she walked down the short hall to Jess’ front door.

“You know,” Jessica said seriously. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I’ve whined and bitched a lot about staying home…. I realized the other day that I’m…embarrassed to be a stay-at-home mom. Is that stupid or what? You know, worrying what other women think about me, dealing with the stigma of being a ‘non-working’ mother, which is crazy. Like mothers don’t work!”

Eden hugged her friend. “Anyone who knows Haylie has no question about whether or not your time is well-spent.”

“Thanks,” Jess said, grinning. “I’ve realized with all this mess at Michele’s that I’ll definitely go back to corporate life, but not now. What I really want right now is to be with Haylie. Truthfully, Greg would like to stay home with the kid and have me work, but I won’t let him! We’re talking about having another baby and, call me crazy, but I think I’m better qualified.”

“Another baby?” Eden hugged her again. “That’s terrific. I’m glad you’re feeling better about the whole mom versus working-outside-the-home thing. And you’re definitely more qualified for pregnancy than Greg. He’d look terrible with swollen ankles.”

“Yes,” Jess said, laughing. “I’ve been wrestling with this work/stay home thing for a long time now. But I finally remembered what the professor said in my Feminist Lit class back in college. Equal rights means choices—stay home while the kids are young or go to work, whichever you like. Of course, I’m expecting a cushy job and a fat salary when I do rejoin the work force!”

“Naturally,” Eden agreed. “Let’s all get exactly what we want.”

A few minutes later, darkness settling around her as she walked through the snow to where her little Z4 waited by the curb, Eden tried not to think about her own choices. Equality had nothing to do with getting everything you wanted. From where she stood now, she had a decent chance of getting the reward of the job she worked her ass off for the last seven years.

Climbing into her little convertible, she tried not to think about the reality that she’d never felt farther from “happily ever after” or more alone.

***

Alex walked into his office the Monday morning following the Thanksgiving holiday.

In a chair by the wide expanse of windows, Bryan sat, his cell phone to his ear.

“Good. I’m looking forward to it, honey. Tell the kids we’ll do something together this weekend. Okay, ‘bye.” Ending the call, he put his phone down on the arm of the chair and said, “Good morning. I hear your holiday was good.”

“Okay, I guess,” Alex said. “Is Lauren doing well this morning?”

Bryan’s smile widened. “She’s terrific. Have I thanked you for encouraging me to finally ask her out?”

“About ten times,” Alex said, his friend’s obvious happiness contrasting against his own misery. He knew what he had to do, though.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, he’d realized he needed to back off on his bid to take-over Michele Cosmetics. He’d been wrestling so hard with Eden’s betrayal that he hadn’t thought about that aspect of the situation. No need to buy the company for her anymore.

With some grim amusement, he knew his withdrawal from the situation would puzzle the hell out of Eden. Whether or not it would make any difference in the situation between the two of them, he didn’t know. “Have you made any tentative deals for the assets of Michele Cosmetics?”

Bryan shuffled through the papers in a file that had been lying at his feet. Selecting several sheets, he held them out to Alex. “Four for the properties. And I have two or three other contacts who might be interested in the formulas. Of course, we can’t give out any proprietary information, so that’s all very tentative. We have people in position for negotiations, though, when we’re ready.”

Alex set his case down on his desk. “Notify them all that we won’t be in touch with them again. We’re dropping the Michele Cosmetics deal.”

“What!” Bryan shot up out of his chair. “You’ve got to be kidding! Why? We have thousands of man-hours in this deal. Not to mention the funds tied up in their stock.”

“I know.” Alex sat down in his desk chair, meeting his friend’s shocked gaze. “Nevertheless, I’m not proceeding. In the next few days, I’ll have a decision as to whether we should hold the stock or offer it for sale.”

“What the hell is going on?” Bryan came to stand next to Alex’s desk. “Why? Why are you pulling the plug on the deal? It’s insane. We’re all set, everything is in position.”

Alex’s gaze fell to the polished surface of his desk. “I could just say that I’ve decided to pull out and that’s all you need to know…but you’re my friend, as well as my employee.”

“It’s about Eden, isn’t it?” Bryan sank into the upholstered chair that sat closest to the desk.

“Yes.” He’d always kept his business and personal lives separate, at least, until he had jumped head-first into a relationship with Eden.

Alex looked over at his friend. “Tell me something honestly. In how we make our money, are we the good guys or the bad guys?”

“In our business practices?” Bryan’s face reflected the consideration he gave the question. “I guess it depends on where you’re sitting on each deal. I’ve never really considered us the bad guys.”

“Me, neither,” Alex agreed with a sigh. “But even really bad guys don’t usually label themselves as bad.”

“I think we take advantage of other people’s messes—you know, we sort of clean them up,” Bryan said energetically. “Like Michele Broussard. The woman’s aging badly. She’s lost her grip on what’s best for the company she founded and built up. But that isn’t our fault! We’re just preparing to step in—“

“And take advantage of her failure,” Alex concluded with irony.

“True,” conceded Bryan, “but it’s a necessary role. I mean, even vultures have their place in the workings of nature.”

“Maybe so,” Alex said with a short, hard laugh, “but I don’t like the comparison, even if I did have the purest of motives. Broussard deserves to get shafted for what she’s doing to Eden. But our part still doesn’t look particularly…kind.”

“So, we’re jumping off the Michele Cosmetics deal and…going out of business ourselves?”

Alex stared across his desk. “No. We’re good at what we do and, I’ve always thought it was necessary and not immoral.”

“No, not immoral,” his friend agreed, shaking his head.

“But Lauren tells me I crossed the line in this situation.”

“Crossed the line?” Bryan echoed.

“I think she means that there’s a difference between a covert operation and a downright lie.” He still grappled with his guilt over his behavior with Eden. It had seemed so simple in the beginning. He’d liked her smile. He’d wanted to meet her. “I really screwed up with Eden.”

“Oh.” Bryan’s gaze fell to his shoes. “Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that. Screwed up royally, according to Lauren.”

“Well,” his friend said, “I have the utmost respect for your sister.”

“Dates going well?” Alex said, with a faint smile.

Bryan looked up quickly, a sudden brightening of his expression. “I’m going to marry your sister, but don’t tell her yet. She needs some time to get used to the idea.”

“Oh, I won’t say a word,” Alex said, laughing softly. “I’ll let you two work that out.”

“So, you’re doing all this re-thinking about the business you’re in because Lauren thinks you screwed up with Eden?” Bryan asked, switching the topic back.

“No,” Alex said, “I’m reassessing my actions because
I
know I screwed up with Eden. I’m comfortable with many things in this world, but I’m not happy with the thought of myself as the devil tempting someone’s soul away from her.”

“Huh?”

“You know when we initiate a project, we usually approach disenchanted executives who’ve already given an indication of their willingness to work a deal in their own favor. But with Eden, I snuck in like a thief and manipulated her emotions. I didn’t mean to. By the time, the Michele was even brought up between us, I was already falling hard for her.”

“You got involved with her because you found her attractive,” Bryan said, shrugging. “It wasn’t really about the deal.”

“No, but I still shouldn’t have run a game on her. It was arrogant of me and stupid and short-sighted. If we’d gone in and placed a bid for the company in a more straight-forward manner—“

“Sometimes companies reject straight-forward bids. We’ve learned we have to read a situation from the inside first.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. Best business angle. Not necessarily good to mix a personal relationship with it. Now if I wanted to continue with the take-over bid, I may still have a chance at the company—if Eden gave me any accurate information—but I’ve lost her. Lost Eden.”

“The woman you love,” Bryan said gruffly.

“Yeah,” Alex said heavily, leaning his head against the high back of his chair, struggling with the possibility that he wouldn’t have another chance with her.

That was bad enough, but he found he was wrestling even more with the likelihood that he’d been the one who’d help lead her into her current choices. Because of him, she’d taken a course that couldn’t make her happy in the long run. He’d made her life worse, instead of better. How was that love?

“I think Eden is—has been—doing things she’ll regret. She’s sold her integrity for the company…and I pushed her that way.”

Bryan looked at him, his expression sympathetic, but not disagreeing.

“I’ve got to fix it somehow,” Alex said forcefully. “Somehow I have to make her see that she was better off before all this. At least then, she could respect herself. She may not want to see me again, but she’ll be happier with herself.”

“You’re not exactly in a good position to do that, are you? Help her see what she’s doing?” Bryan asked diffidently.

“No,” Alex growled, “but I’ve got to try. If I can convince her that there’s nothing in it for me—not anymore—maybe she’ll hear me.”

“Yeah,” his friend said, watching him with a less-than-convinced expression. “Maybe she’ll listen.”