Doris O'Connor (17 page)

“
Oh but now is the perfect time to
do this!” Stella spotted her then, her eyes narrowing. “Thought you
were going home, Kitty. Where is my grandson, and is he
okay?”

Alex swung round, and the well of pain in his
eyes almost disarmed Kitty’s fury. She took one step toward him.
“Noah is with Francesca, and yes, he is fine, no thanks to you,
Stella. I forgot my car keys. Otherwise we would be half way home
by now.”

And far away from you, woman,
she added
mentally, forcing her lips into a semblance of a smile.

“
Looks like I’ve interrupted
something. Do carry on. It’s quite enlightening to hear what you
really think of me. I believe you were berating Alex for thinking
with his dick? It’s ironic, of course, that if he hadn’t done that,
Noah wouldn’t be here, would he now? And this whole conversation
would be moot.”

There was small satisfaction in seeing Stella
temporarily lost for words.

“
Kitty.” Alex’s voice was a low
plea in her ear. When had he come so close? She shook his hand off
and glared up at him, jabbing her index finger in his chest
repeatedly. “And you, when exactly where you going to tell me that
you were engaged to Irene? Not only engaged but about to become a
father, when you had your fling with me? What the hell was all that
about?”

Alex’s face lost all color, his blue eyes more
vivid than ever in his chiseled face, as he looked down on her.
“Who told you?”

“
Darling Irene over there of
course. Apparently you are hers! Well, I wish the both of you all
the happiness in the world. You deserve each other, you really do!
I’ve had enough of this!”

Kitty ran out of steam. She couldn’t do this
anymore. All she wanted was to grab Noah and run far, far away, but
she couldn’t do that, could she? Alex doted on Noah and vice versa.
Even now she sensed the anxiety coming off Alex. The hand holding
her arm in an iron grip to stop her from leaving was
shaking.

“
What are you going to
do?”

She forced herself look up at him, her heart
heavy with unshed tears at the whole sorry mess they were in.
“Right now I’m going home, Alex. I have to explain all this to our
son, after your mother’s ill-timed revelation, and then I’m talking
to my solicitor!”

Alex reared back, the pressure on her arm
increasing. “I thought we were done with solicitors.”

“
You won’t get anywhere, Kitty. My
solicitor will fight you every step of the way!” Stella Giovanni’s
panicked voice interrupted them, and Kitty gave a tired
laugh.

“
I’m well aware of that, Stella. I
have no intention of fighting you. I’ll be putting visitation
rights in place for Alex only, supervised visitation rights, until
we can hash out custody arrangements. There is no chance in hell
that you’ll get your hands on my son, Stella, or that I’ll allow
Irene and Alex to play happy families. I’m afraid I don’t trust any
of you, and I’m sorry, Alex, but you’re not welcome to stay at my
house anymore.”

“
But, Kitty, please.”

“
Let go of me, Alex. This whole
thing was a lie from beginning to end. I know you love your son,
and for what it’s worth I am truly sorry your dad never met him;
but what’s done is done. It’s clear I’ll never be welcome in this
family, so let’s cut the bull and just call it quits. If you want
to see Noah before the arrangements are in place, ring me, and I’ll
leave him with Gwen. You and me, it’s over! Let go of me,
Alex.”

Alex did just that, and before she could make
a complete fool of herself by bursting into tears, she grabbed her
bag and left. Alex’s furious string of Italian curses rang in her
ears.

“
I hope you’re happy with yourself,
Mamma!"

Chapter
Nineteen

Once home, the conversation Kitty had with
Noah had been one of the most difficult of her life. How did you
explain to a three year old that the man he adored was in fact his
daddy and that he could only see him without her?

Noah took it all in his stride, however. He
was confused as to why Alex wasn’t sleeping over anymore, but, as
children do, he adjusted pretty well to the new arrangements. They
hashed out custody as best they could until formal arrangements
could be made. Noah spent Alex’s days off with him, and the rest of
the time he was with Kitty. It split the childcare slightly more in
favor of Kitty, but she still missed Noah dreadfully when he was
with his dad.

Alex bombarded her with phone calls and even
letters; each one of them she returned unanswered. She even had a
phone call from Stella herself, grudgingly apologizing for her part
in telling Noah in that manner. The woman then had the nerve to ask
her to exert her influence over Alex to get him to quit his job.
“It’s not safe. You can see that, surely. He has to see sense!”
Kitty informed Stella in no uncertain terms that she had no
influence over Alex at all, and if she had she would not be telling
him how to live his life, and hung up on her.

So she was ill prepared for what she read in
the paper that morning.

She was now sitting in Emy’s garden,
commiserating with her friend over the sudden heat wave.

“
Look at these elephant ankles. I
look like a hippo, for pity’s sake. I am telling you, no way am I
going to have another baby after this one. Richard can go and sing
for it!”

“
I believe that’s what you said
last time, Em.” Kitty laughed affectionately at her visibly
flustered friend. She sure was getting huge, her due date fast
approaching.

“
It’ll all be worth it in the end,
you’ll see, nothing quite like holding your newborn for the first
time.”

Kitty smiled, remembering those first few
precious minutes she had been able to hold Noah, before he turned
blue, and they had whisked him away to special care, and her whole
world had come crashing down around her ears.

“
I had hoped.” Emy’s quiet voice
brought her back to the here and now. “That perhaps that would be
you again soon.”

“
What on earth do you mean,
Em?”

“
Well, for a time there, I thought
you and that fire fighter of yours were working things out, and
knowing how big his family is, I figured he’d want a few more
bambinos with you.”

Kitty blinked back the sudden tears that
threatened to fall whenever she thought of Alex, and Emy reached
across and took her hand.

“
I’m sorry, me and my big mouth.
But is there no way for you two to work things out?”

Kitty shook her head. “I wish there was, Em,
but no. His mother can’t stand me. That Irene was always sniffing
around him, and besides he was never mine, Em, was he?”

Oh there had been times when she thought he
was, and she fought back tears remembering. Alex had cradled her in
his lap when they had been looking through the old pictures of baby
Noah, and she had broken down, filling him in on all that he’d
missed. He’d been so focused on her, so tender and full of
compassion. And then there had been much shared laughter over Noah.
Her foolish heart had thought them to be a little family, and that
they had a chance, but it was a lie. A ploy to get to Noah and a
way to keep his mother off his back, nagging him about taking over
the family business. All this time he’d held her responsible for
not telling him about Noah, and he’d had a pregnant fiancée that he
hadn’t told her about. Jealousy gnawed a hole in her gut.
Damn
that Irene.

His month had been up last week, and as he was
still a fire fighter, Kitty assumed Alex had made the decision to
stay in his job. Good for him. He was good at what he did, and
besides, Stella was as strong and as stubborn as an ox, so she
would be more than capable of keeping the business running. And
Irene would no doubt provide Alex with plenty of dark-haired babies
to take over the running in years to come.

She had seen the announcement in the paper
only that morning. Alex and Irene were getting married. She had
been floored by the pain of reading those simple few lines. Her
coffee cup had clattered to the floor, startling Noah, who had been
eating his breakfast, before he giggled and called her ‘silly
lummy’. Kitty had made herself laugh with him, whilst inside her
heart had shattered into a thousand little pieces. He was actually
going to marry. She had known he was on a deadline, imposed by his
promise to his dad. But did he really have to marry
Irene?

“
Kitty, come back. Where are you?”
Emy smiled uncertainly at her.

“
It’s okay. I’m all right, really,
and it never would have worked, too much baggage between us. At
least his mother will be happy. Irene was always her choice, after
all.”

“
Yes well, I probably shouldn’t say
this. Rich told me in confidence, but Alex was really between a
rock and hard place there, you know.”

“
What do you mean, Em?”

“
You know he fell out with his
dad?”

Kitty nodded.

“
Yes, you know that bit, but he
didn’t tell you that his father gave him an ultimatum, did
he?”

“
He said something about a promise
he made him and that he had a month to make up his mind to take
over the business, but he didn’t mention an ultimatum.”

Em snorted, rolling her eyes. ”Men. Typical, I
tell you. His dad made him promise that if he didn’t take over the
business he would marry to ensure he would have an heir to take
over after him. He was hoping to get out of it because of Noah, but
his dad’s will was quite specific. He had to be married, and his
wife had to be happy for him to stay a fire fighter. From what I
can gather Irene is far from happy for him to stay in the brigade,
but as Alex’s compliance with the demands of the will means he is
now absolutely loaded, I guess she is happy enough with her lot.
According to Richard, Alex is miserable, mind you. He came round
with Noah the other day, and he doesn’t look good, I have to
say.”

Kitty looked at her friend, not really knowing
what to say to all that. “And you are telling me all of this now
because?”

“
As you’re also moping around like
the living dead, I thought you may want to do something about this.
You do love the man, don’t you?”

Kitty’s automatic denial died on her lips. She
couldn’t pretend anymore, and she nodded, not trusting her voice,
the tears falling in earnest now.

“
Maybe you should tell him
then!”

“
Em, get real. whatever for? He is
marrying Irene, isn’t he? He doesn’t love me, and even if he did,
his mother would always come between us. And besides love without
trust, it would never work, Em. He doesn’t believe I left that
message, and that’s the crux of it all. Sometimes even I wonder
whether I did. Maybe I should have tried harder to let him know
about Noah. His family has practically lived round the corner from
us all those years. It wouldn’t have been that hard to track him
down, if I really wanted to.”

“
Kitty, stop right there. You are
far too hard on yourself here. You had your hands full with Noah at
the time and trying to build a life for the two of you. Besides,
you would have tracked him down eventually, once Noah started
asking after his father. Don’t deny it. I know you and your soft
heart and your innate need to always do the right
thing.”

“
Leave it be, Emy. He knows where I
am, after all. It’s up to him to change things. I can’t put my
heart on the line. I just can’t. It hurts too damn
much.”

Kitty mulled this conversation over in her
head when she was safely back home, with Noah tucked up in bed. He
insisted that they pray for his daddy with an urgency that had
unsettled Kitty. They prayed for Alex every night, the same as they
did for all the other important people in little Noah’s life, but
tonight Noah had seemed really agitated; and it took him a long
time to fall asleep. Kitty had to reassure him over and over that
he would see Alex tomorrow at the start of his four days
off.

She poured herself a glass of wine in an
effort to help her relax, Noah’s agitation having unsettled her,
too. If she had been still in contact with Alex, she would have
picked up the phone to make sure he was okay, so strong were the
tendrils of foreboding that snaked themselves around her with
ever-increasing iciness.

She was getting maudlin in her old age; that
was it. All that talk of Alex all afternoon and having to confront
her own feelings were making her see things.

The ring of her phone made her jump. She
didn’t recognize the mobile number but answered it
nonetheless.

A broad Scottish accent was in her ear, sirens
blaring in the background, and Kitty’s heart started racing. She
knew that voice, and there was only one reason why Alex’s
second-in-command would call her this late in the evening, his
voice rough with emotion.

“
Kitty, Alex made me promise to
ring you if anything ever happened to him.”

Chapter Twenty

Kitty looked at the dropped phone on the
floor, dimly aware of Mac calling her name over the rushing in her
ears. The room was going black, and some small part of her brain
screamed at her to do something – anything. Before she passed out
completely, self-preservation finally kicked in, and she drew a
shuddering breath into her oxygen-starved lungs as the room came
back into focus.