Doomsday Love: An MMA & Second Chance Romance (40 page)

I
feel
Drake looking at me but I can’t pull my eyes away from my mother.

The headlights shine on her and she holds a hand above her eyes, shielding them. I finally glance at Drake before lowering my gaze. When she said things have changed, I wasn’t expecting
this
.

“Come on,” I murmur. Without giving it much thought, I open my door and step out of the vehicle. I slowly walk towards her, and when she sees me coming, limiting the distance between us, she breaks into a full grin.

I stop less than a foot away, taking note of her sparkling brown eyes and wavering smile. She looks me up and down as I stand in my pale pink romper and wedges. Her eyes focus on my hair, curled by Kylie, and I can tell she admires it.

“Jennifer,” she whispers. “Wow. You look so beautiful.” She tries to blink her tears away, but it doesn’t work. And what she does next is even more astounding. She rushes forward and pulls me into a tight hug.

My eyebrows draw together as I stare over her shoulder, confused. I hold my hands out, unsure of what to do with them.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she declares, squeezing me tighter.

“Mom?” I pull away gently. I grip her upper arms, looking her straight in the eyes that are nearly identical to mine. “What is this? What are you wearing? Why?”

She laughs silently, her eyes shutting for a very brief moment. “This is who I am now, Jennifer.”

“But… for how long?”

“A year and four months now.”

“Wow.” I stare at her, stunned. My mind is still reeling with this information. I start to ask something else but then she looks over my shoulder.

I hear heavy footsteps and look back, only to be greeted by my lover. Drake looks my mother straight in the eyes, not daring to smile or create a greeting. I know he’s only doing this for show.

I find relief when Mom steps aside and puts on an easy smile for him. “I must say I’m very surprised to see you again.” She looks at me. “Things worked out?”

“After four years, yes,” I sigh.

The right corner of her mouth tugs upward. “Then you have a lot to tell me, too. Come on,” she says, gesturing for Drake to come closer. “Let’s go inside. Ned is at the church, but he was okay with me making some dinner for your visit.”

I follow her towards the house. “You live here now?”

“Yes… for now. Just until I can get back on my feet.”

“What do you mean back on your feet? What happened?”

She side-eyes me before pulling the door open. She allows us to walk in front of her, and though the home is just as nice on the inside as it is on the outside—with it’s hardwood mahogany floors and black and white furniture—I can’t take my focus off of Mom.

“Mom?” I call as she makes her way down the hallway.

“Come on, Jennifer. Please. Let’s eat first. I know you’re probably hungry.”

I glance back at Drake. His eyebrows are practically touching his forehead. Yeah, he’s just as shocked as I am.

Drake and I stand at the entrance of the dining room, fidgeting. We look at each other before putting our attention on Mom. She brings a few dishes from the kitchen to the set the table.

When she comes back with a pitcher of sweet tea, she says, “Go on. Sit.”

Her encouragement is strange, but we sit anyway. Side-by-side.

I straighten myself in my chair as Drake leans back, interlocking and folding his fingers.

Mom takes the chair across from us, a faint smile on her lips as she picks up a bowl of mashed potatoes.

“Mom?” I call again.

“Yes, Jenny?”

“You’re stalling.”

She pulls her gaze up and I give her a serious look. She studies my face for a second, and then places the bowl down, pressing her lips.

“I just want you to feel welcome. At home. I don’t want to mess this up now that I have you back.”

“We are okay. I swear.”

She nods, pouring herself a glass of the tea. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I know I’m making this awkward. I just wasn’t expecting you to have a… guest.” She glances at Drake before focusing on me.

I look at him as he shifts in his seat. “I can go,” he informs her.

“No—no! I don’t want you to take it personally,” she says, holding up her hands. “I don’t mean it that way, I promise. I just… well, there are things that I’d like to talk to Jenny about one-on-one. I’m sure she will fill you in, but… well…” She stops her rambling, focusing on her plate.

I look her over, releasing a sigh before grabbing Drake’s hand and squeezing it. “Just wait in the living room or go to the car if you want. It’s okay.”

He watches me carefully before looking at Mom. Mom looks at the two of us, her eyes slightly narrowed.

“Okay. I’ll be in the living room.” He stands and I smile. I’m glad he’s not trying to be too far away.

I watch him go. He glances over his shoulder once before disappearing. I sit back in my chair and Mom meets my eyes.

“Let’s cut to the chase. We have other things to do besides be here,” I mutter.

She nods. “Okay, I will. But before I do… you and him? How did it happen again?”

“We just hooked back up in the last couple of days. Ran into each other in Vegas. He’s a professional MMA fighter now.”

“Is he really?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s great. It’s good to know he made it out of Fox River. His father wasn’t really the encouraging type.”

“It took him walking away from his Dad in order to achieve that. Just like it took me leaving this city to try and find myself.”

Her eyes are wide. She doesn’t dare blink. They begin to water, and I hate that I feel even the slightest bit of sympathy right now. But I do. Because as she sits in that nun getup, knowing that she has to live off of her older brother, it breaks my heart.

This, I believe, is karma at it’s finest. Though I think this is a good form of karma. This is a good lifestyle. Better than what she was living like before.

“So… what happened?” I ask quietly.

“A lot happened,” she laughs dryly. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it.”

“How could I? I don’t talk to anyone that still lives here. There was Sue, but you let her go after I left. Now I see that was for obvious reasons.”

She looks away. “I love Sue. But we couldn’t afford her after you left.”

“What do you mean?” I straighten my back. “You guys have all the money in the world—more than enough to pay her for two lifetimes.”

She shakes her head. “Not anymore.”

“I don’t get it. How don’t you? And why aren’t you and Dad together anymore?”

“Because he went bankrupt. Lost pretty much everything. Turns out your father’s accountant was stealing from us. He wasn’t filing the taxes or booking them correctly. That, alone, backfired on us. This is why I told him to go to my accountant. But he didn’t listen.” She focuses on the steamed vegetables on her plate. “We began to argue a lot after that, which resulted in a quiet divorce during the middle of your freshman year. We had to sell the house and with that money, we continued paying what we could for you but not too long after, we ran low on funds and then your father left. He claimed he was going to handle some stuff to rebuild the waffle business but I haven’t heard much from him since he’s left. I don’t think he’s doing well. We had a trust fund that we’d saved for you and your brother, but once that money ran out, we were stuck.”

“Oh my God. Is this why he couldn’t finish paying the tuition?”

She meets my eyes, nodding. “I told him to blame me—to say that I said so because I knew you would believe it. I was willing to take the blame until we got back on our feet. But, unfortunately, we never did.”

“But… why? Why wouldn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“I was too embarrassed and your father was too busy trying to make ways out of no way. That’s why he told you to apply for loans. We knew you would find a way to finish school, even if you had to do it without us. I was looking for jobs—trying to do what I could so I could send it to you, but I never found one. No one here was willing to hire me. It’s like they all turned against me. The people I thought were my friends never were. The day the house went into foreclosure, I called the only family I have left. Ned.”

“And then you became… this?” I ask, studying her attire.

“No. When I first came here, two and a half years ago, I was in total denial. All I wanted was money. I
needed
money. I wasn’t used to living without. I wasn’t used to struggling, after being pampered and catered to for so long. I stayed here at first, just to have a roof over my head. It was decent enough, so I figured, why not? But your Uncle Ned kept insisting that I come to church. I refused at first, until he gave me an ultimatum.”

“And what was that?”

“It was either go to church every Sunday, or pack my stuff and find somewhere else to stay. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I didn’t see much of a choice.”

I blink, but don’t speak. Instead, I look away, studying my surroundings.

Through the corner of my eye, I see her lean forward. I turn my head, partially looking at her.

“Jennifer,” Mom murmurs. “This was a good thing, don’t you see? I went to church with Ned every Sunday. At first I just attended and listened, but after a few months he let me attend Sunday school too. I gathered an annulment which took about eight months to settle, and then, not too long ago, I was baptized. I was cleansed of my sins. Of my hunger for the money that I know I didn’t even need. During my time at the church, I kept realizing more and more how selfish I had been. With your father. With Mitchell. With you. It was a devastating realization.”

My eyes shift up to hers when she says Mitchell’s name.

“I wanted you to come back to Fox River to see for yourself that I am changing. I know I’m not completely there yet, but I am trying and Ned says that is enough. I went to confession and told him I want to do better for myself and to free myself of my past and all I’ve done wrong. I wanted to get rid of my pride and greed. He told me the only way I could do that was if I righted my wrongs. Not only with your father, but you. Mainly you. My only daughter. The only child I have left.”

Two thick tears fall down her cheeks as she forms a smile.

My eyes burn as I watch her. It isn’t spite that I’m seeing here. It isn’t stubbornness or selfishness. It’s simply remorse.

I don’t want forgive her. I want to show no sympathy, but in the depths of her eyes I see how lonely she is. I see how much she regrets the choices she’s made.

And to know she has lost everything…well, I feel terrible for her. I really do.

Mom stands and walks to my side. She grabs my hand and squeezes it tight. More tears have fled and my eyes are now cloudy, full of emotion that I don’t want to feel.

“I have an opportunity to start my life over and live it the way I should. Though I’ve begun the process of becoming a Catholic sister, I don’t want to lose out on a connection with my daughter. My family. I realize how much I failed you. I was the worst woman on the planet and I don’t even know why. It’s just…” She chokes up a bit, focusing on her lap.

“Your father and I grew up with Kord. We spent a lot of time together. He was there for us no matter what. I didn’t want to believe any of it. I was in denial trying to protect myself and the Roscoe name.

“I should have just confronted it. Mitchell never told me, and since he didn’t speak, I took it as a sign to never bring it up—not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know how to. How do you confront that? Knowing that one of your closest friends was…molesting your son all this time. Using him. Using
us
. We knew Kord could get Mitch a scholarship to a good place. We knew that he could make Mitchell a star. That’s all I had my eyes on. I was so obsessed with the idea of it—blinded by it so much—that I didn’t even give in to my suspicions. I never witnessed it. Mitchell seemed so happy one day, and then the next he was gone.”

I yank my hand away, shooting to a stand. “That doesn’t justify anything! What happened tainted Mitchell’s mind. It ruined him and for that he committed one of the worst sins.”

She nods, and her tears are gushing now.

“How can you sit with that veil, claiming purity when you could have helped him? How can you even forgive yourself?”

“I haven’t!” she cries. “And I never will! Don’t you see that!?”

I rake my fingers through my hair, focusing on the wall across from me. “No. You know what? I—I should go.” I step around the chair, shoving it in before walking towards the hallway.

“Wait—Jenny, please!” Mom stands up and rushes after me. She catches my elbow and twirls me around.

“Mom… just stop!”

“I want to do better by you. I don’t want you to live your life hating me. I don’t want you to think of me as some kind of demon woman.” My wet eyelashes cling together as she strokes my cheek. “Even if I didn’t show it, I refused to let what happened to my son, happen to my daughter.” She swipes my tears away. I look down, away from her. “I miss when things were okay with you and I, but that night changed everything. I wanted you to do whatever it took to be better…and you did for a while. I know I have ruined you more than I have saved you though.” Her head moves side to side swiftly as she pulls her hands away.

“Mitchell talked to you a lot. I know he told you something and you were probably just as afraid as he was to confess. I was so weak, though. I was blinded by greed and power and respect. I was a terrible mother that cared more for image than I did my children’s well-being. I did whatever I could to stay on top, but only because I wanted my kids to have a better life than I did growing up.” She’s sobbing now, and my face is hot, my throat thick with emotion.

“You may not think so, but your father was the best thing to happen to me when I met him. He made ways that not many would for me. When I lost your grandmother, I knew I was doing wrong. I knew I was being selfish. Because I didn’t go visit her at all… and she only lived twenty miles away from me. When I lost her, I caught sight of what I’d become. I was dumb, but I had it all… and then it was gone just as quickly as it came. Almost like it never even happened.”