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Authors: Tara West

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BOOK: Don't Tell Mother
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After several moments, she released me and her gaze locked with Mother’s.

Mother’s eyes looked glossy. The deep lines creasing her frown had softened. Was she touched by the moment, too? Did Mother really care for me?

Eyes blinking, her head snapped as if she’d just recovered from a trance. “She’s not hurt from the fall. If anything, she’s got even more attitude than before.”

Guess she didn’t care.

My heart felt like it was sinking into a deep hole. For a moment, I thought maybe…

Grandma laughed under her breath and my gaze found her smiling eyes.

Odd how she could look at all this with a sense of humor. Maybe I should try laughing every time Mother threw a fit.

Determined not to let Mother’s mood ruin my own, I raised my chin. “I’m going back to eating meat, Grandma.”

“Good girl.” Grandma patted my back. “I didn’t like seeing you pretending to be someone you’re not.” Her eyes darted toward my mother.

I smiled, understanding her reference. “I know that now.”

“You’re special in your own way, AJ. You don’t need to change for
anyone
.” She winked and then her gaze slid more slowly toward Mother.

Mother tapped her foot, her narrowed gaze shooting daggers at Grandma. “You’re not helping.”

“The only one not helping AJ is you!” Grandma bellowed.

I jerked back, totally unprepared for my sweet little, Grandma’s rage, but she laid the attitude down with a heavy SMACK!

I suddenly realized where Mother and I had inherited our anger streak.

“Mother, please…” With a stern voice, my mother held her palms up.

“No, Margaret.” Grandma widened her stance, fisting hands at her sides. “I will not be silenced this time. You have a beautiful, gifted daughter. Don’t destroy her with your own fears.”

“Why don’t we just announce to the world that she’s a freak?” Mother’s words came out in a choked sob. “So kids at school can torment her like they did to me. Is that what you want for her?”

Why did Mother always think she had to make the decisions about my life? Using my gift should have been
my
choice, not hers.

“Kids at school already hate me!” I yelled, as both of their startled gazes found mine. “How can I expect anyone to like me when my own mother hates me?”

Mother’s stifled scream pierced the tension. “I don’t hate you, Allison,” she rasped.

I couldn’t hold back the tears which had threatened to escape earlier. They pooled my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. I didn’t care about being too emotional in front of Mother anymore. I’d held in this hurt for too long, allowing it to sour and turn into bitter, hateful anger.

No more.

Time for me to stop allowing her rejection to rule my emotions. To allow kids at school to fear me because of the anger I projected on them.

“Yes, you do,” I cried. “You hate me because I’m not normal. I might be different, but I’m not a freak. You’re the freak, Mother. You’re the only one who is in denial here.”

“Listen to the girl, Margaret,” Grandma pleaded. “Listen to her before your son is killed.”

The angles on Mother’s face sharpened, hardened, her icy shield encasing her features. She turned on Grandma with a cold stare. “Mother, I want you to go.”

My heart stopped and then the tempo renewed with urgency. “What? You can’t send her away!” I couldn’t lose her, the only person in my family who cared about me.

“Allison, go to your room.” Mother’s gaze remained fixed on Grandma as she spoke to me.

I was a fly on the wall. Not even worthy of her dirty look. “No!” I screamed. She wasn’t going to brush me off that easily, not when my happiness depended on it.

Mother’s narrowed gaze remained locked on Grandma as she held up a silencing hand. “Stay out of this, Allison. This does not involve you.”

“Fine. If she goes, I’m going with her.”

“No.” Mother finally looked at me, her eyes momentarily softening before turning back to Grandma. “You’re not going anywhere,” she said with a more subdued tone.

Funny, but I expected the same icy shards she’d been shooting at grandma to fly in my direction. Was she being nicer to me because I’d threatened to leave?

Didn’t matter. I couldn’t live with someone who resented my gift…resented me.

“Grandma, take me with you,” I pleaded.

“AJ,” Grandma sighed, her shoulders dropped like a wilting flower. “Maybe it’s best if I leave for a while.”

“But you’re the only one who understands me.” Grandma was giving up so easily. How was it that Mother always got her way? Didn’t Grandma realize that more than my happiness was at stake? My brother’s life depended on us.

“Your mother understands you,” Grandma said with a weary shrug. “She just doesn’t want to admit it.”

Despite my urge to throw myself into Grandma’s arms and beg for her to stay, my feet felt like they’d been encrusted in concrete blocks. I couldn’t bring myself to beg. My dizziness had returned and I was tired. Tired of crying. Tired of Mother. Tired of my life. All I wanted to do now was crawl into bed and cry.

“When will I see you again?” I asked through the shakiness in my voice.

“Dearest, you know that answer better than anyone.” Grandma closed the distance between us and stroked my cheek with a tender hand. “Try not to kill your brother before he kills himself.”

I choked on a sob. “You’re not funny, Grandma.”

“I’m being perfectly serious.” Her soft eyes clouded, dark, thunderous. “I just hope your mother realizes this before it’s too late.”

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Ten

 

“Hey, thanks for going with me.” As I crouched behind a car in Lowe’s neighbor’s driveway, my gaze assessed three pairs of eager eyes, my two best friends and Bob. They’d all risked serious social probation by sneaking out of their houses past curfew to help me bust Lowe.

“That’s what friends are for,” Krysta grinned.

“And boyfriends,” Bob winked.

“What’s your plan, AJ?” Sophie asked with a shaky voice.

This bust was toughest for her. Sophie was a good girl, and even though we’d be busting an underage drink fest, I knew she still didn’t like sneaking out of her house. Bob and Krysta on the other hand, well, their parents were never home, so it didn’t really matter to them.

But if anyone had a right to complain, it was me. My butt still itched from falling into the bushes below my window. I grimaced, knowing Mother would notice if one twig was out of place in her perfectly trimmed shrubbery.

“I don’t want to rat on Lowe unless I see they have beer,” I whispered.

That’s why I’d waited until midnight for the bust. Our game ended at a little past nine tonight. It should have lasted longer, but it didn’t take much time for the other team to stomp our butts. I figured by the time my team showered, dressed and headed to Lowe’s house, they wouldn’t be drinking until at least eleven.

I wanted them to have some alcohol in their system before I called the cops. They might’ve been able to hide the evidence, but they sure wouldn’t pass a breathalyzer test.

“How do we see the beer?” Sophie asked with wide eyes.

I nodded toward the house. “We have to get a view of the window.”

Krysta shook her head. “The drapes are closed.”

“We have to sneak into the backyard.” I pointed toward the six-foot privacy fence, which appeared to have a lock on the gate.

Sophie grimaced. “What if we get caught?”

I muffled a nervous laugh. “Then we make a run for it.”

Didn’t know why, but I’d never thought of getting caught. I wanted so badly for Lowe to get busted that I’d never considered failure. She’d go to jail for giving minors beer and then she’d be canned from coaching. Something good had to happen in my life.

Then Sophie squealed, Krysta gasped and Bob swore.

Red and blue neon lights reflected off the hood of the car we were using for cover. We all ducked, and I sucked in a huge breath of air before speaking through a hiss. “Who called the cops?”

“I don’t know,” Sophie squeaked, her voice shaking.

A million questions raced through my brain. Were the cops here for Lowe? If so, who stole my revenge? What if they were here for us? What if someone spotted four suspicious teens hiding behind a parked car? We could get arrested any minute.

Oh, God, Mother would kill me. I’d be grounded for eternity.

If they were coming for us, I had to know. Maybe we could still make a run for it. Since I was the closest to the fender, I hesitantly peered around the edge of the car.

What I saw amazed me.

I could almost hear Sophie’s silent scream as she pulled me back.

Looking into my friends’ widened eyes, I had to cover my mouth to muffle my laughter.

“What’s happening?” Krysta breathed.

I knew they wouldn’t believe it. I couldn’t hardly believe it. “Paige ratted out Lowe.”

All three jaws dropped. “What?” they simultaneously choked.

I peered around the car one more time to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. “She’s at the police car with her mother and the principal,” I said while turning back to my friends.

Bob smiled. “Is Lowe cuffed yet?”

At the risk of getting caught, that was one moment I had to witness—the ultimate humiliation of Coach Lowe. After the incident in the locker room this week, Mother had forced me to apologize to Lowe in front of the entire team. Either that or I’d have my computer and phone revoked and no sports for the entire year.

Time for payback.

Peeking around the car again, my vision was obscured by a tall pair of black clad legs.

Stretching my neck upwards, I grimaced as I looked into my principal’s thunderous expression.

****

Once Sparks realized we were there to bust Lowe’s beer fest, the cops allowed him to drive us home. Looking out the window at the lights from passing cars, I realized Sparks was very understanding about the whole thing, even letting Bob use his portable video game. Too bad I couldn’t convince Sparks to let us stay and see Lowe come out in cuffs.

We’d been asking him a million questions, but he dodged almost every one. From what we could figure out, right before the party, Paige went crying to her mother that Lowe was going to get them drunk. We couldn’t figure out if Paige’s mom called the cops or Sparks or both. Didn’t matter. Lowe was so busted.

What I didn’t understand was why Paige turned on Lowe. I thought they were buds. Guess I’d have to wait to find out. Once Sparks brought me home to Mother, I’d have no communication with the outside world until Monday.

“You realize we probably won’t have a team.”

“What?” Looking at his hardened gaze reflecting in his rearview mirror, I hadn’t realized Sparks was talking to me.

Sparks cleared his throat. “District policy. The girls will be suspended from sports for a year.”

“Oh, crap. I hadn’t thought of that.” They broke the law. They broke their contract. All athletes had to sign one stating that if they were caught consuming alcohol or doing drugs, they’d be suspended from sports for a year.

Shoulders slumped, I heaved an aggravated breath and rubbed my throbbing temple. Maybe I should have warned Sparks before the party. Then he could have stopped it and I’d still have a team.

Or not.

All Lowe and the team had to do was deny it. Make me out to be a jealous troublemaker. I would’ve ended up losing my cool and then I would’ve been kicked off the team.

Oh well, what did it matter? Mother would probably take me out of sports once she found out I’d snuck out of the house. I knew she’d do it not caring how badly it would crush me; after all, she took away my Grandma. Too bad Grandma wouldn’t be there when Sparks brought me home. That would have made my punishment much more tolerable. Gawd, my life sucked. I just wanted to sink between the cracks in the seat cushions and disappear.

Sparks dropped off Sophie first. He walked her to the front door and I watched as he talked with Sophie’s mother. Her mother’s squeal sounded much like an older version of Sophie’s cry. Instead of scolding Sophie, her mom embraced her, squeezing her so tight I thought Sophie’s head would pop off.

Heat suffused my cheeks as I envied their tender moment. Why couldn’t Mother love me the way Sophie’s mom loved her?

When we drove up to Krysta’s apartment, I could see her shifting in the seat in front of me, knowing she was nervous about Sparks knocking on her apartment door. Nobody would answer. Her dad worked nights, leaving her alone.

What would Sparks do? Could he report Krysta’s dad to social services?

“My dad’s probably sleeping. You don’t need to come up,” Krysta said to Sparks with a shaky voice.

“Nonsense,” Sparks said in a tone that left no room for argument. “He needs to know where you’ve been.’

The butterflies in my stomach multiplied as I feared for my friend. Turning to me before opening the truck door, she shot me a worried glance.

I flashed her an apologetic grin. “Sorry I got you into this.”

“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “Good luck with your mom.”

Watching Krysta and Sparks walk up her apartment stairs, I knew they’d be waiting for a while.

“Hey.”

Looking at Bob, I realized he’d paused the video game. I was so consumed with panic, I’d forgotten he was in the truck.

But how could I have forgotten him? He was sitting right next to me, his green spikes made a gentle grating sound as they scraped the top of the truck’s interior. He smelled so good, not like musk, but like fresh soap. Not like the rest of his freaky friends.

And his warmth… I hadn’t noticed until now, but just his nearness spilled heat into my bones. Even though the nights were getting cooler, I felt so warm and secure around Bob.

His eyebrows tilted in a frown. “Sorry I ate meat.”

“What?” My BF wasn’t making any sense.

“Is that why you don’t eat lunch with me?”

Remembering the incident with the Barfy burger Tuesday, I realized I hadn’t eaten lunch with my BF since then. That wasn’t why I’d stopped eating with him. Actually, even though I was really busy with basketball practice, I’d kind-of been avoiding him at other times. We hadn’t really done much together until tonight. I’d only asked him to go with us because I knew we’d be safer walking the streets if we had a green giant at our backs.

BOOK: Don't Tell Mother
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