Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1) (6 page)

She took one last look at herself,
and then smiled. The fact that she was staring at another day was enough to make her smile. She’d beat cancer once, she’d do it again if she had to.

‘Yes, I can beat you again.’ She told herself in the mirror. ‘I can!’

With that she turned and left the bathroom and joined her mother downstairs.

‘You alright?’

‘Mother!’

‘I’m sorry, what number are you today?

‘Seven.’ She smiled.

‘Really?’

‘Yes really.’

‘Well then, let’s hope –
’

‘Don’t…don’t take away the moment. I haven’t even had chemo yet.’

‘I’m just saying.’

‘I know mum, but I like to live in the present as much as possible.’

Elizabeth nodded.

‘Let’s go.’

They left the house for the hospital.

****

Casey walked into Eugene’s home office just after nine o’clock. She smiled at her boss and waited for him to start making his usual demands.

‘I take it you’re not flying to
France,’ she said.

‘Nope, I’ve got things to do here. How is it going with the search?’

‘Nothing back yet, but he’ll be in touch.’

‘Not good enough, I’m paying him good money.’

‘I’ll make sure he’s aware of it.’ She pulled out a seat from the desk and sat down.

‘This woman is special.’

‘Like all the other women were?’

‘Well.’ He sat up. ‘There have been some special woman in my life, but this one, she’s the one.’

Casey couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Laugh all you want, I just know it.’

‘Does she know it?’ She challenged him.

‘Not yet.’

‘I’m guessing the reason you have the investigator on the case is because you didn’t succeed in getting her number yourself.’

He smiled.

‘She must be really special.’

Casey knew how hard it was for women to resist Eugene
Gallagher. He was an eligible bachelor with money to burn, a body to die for and charm.

‘Oh yes she is. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make her see just how special I am.’

‘Good luck with that.’

‘So you don’t believe that?’

‘It’s not that. It’s just that I’ve known you long enough to know that you’ve broken a lot of hearts. I think this one sees through all that.’

‘Maybe, but I feel differently about her. I’ve never felt this driven, this crazy about anyone.’

‘Hmm, I wonder why?’

He sat back and let
Sahara saturate his thoughts for a moment, but he was quickly back to reality.

‘Okay, today’s agenda.’

‘Yes, urm.’ She pulled out her tablet to check his calendar. ‘Meeting in Paris.’

‘Yes, well, you did send my apologies.’

‘I did, they weren’t impressed.’

‘They wouldn’t be, I’m one of the largest investors. But then again, I’d already made up my mind about that company weeks ago.
Sahara just made it easier.’

‘Wow, she really has you twisted.’

‘You could say that.’ He smiled.

‘So I gue
ss I’m free for the next few days? Weeks?’

‘I wouldn’t say you’re free, there are so many calls you need to return, you
r inbox is overflowing with mail and you have a few charity events to attend.’

‘Blah, blah, blah. For once I’m not going to do any of that.’

‘You can’t.’

‘I can. I’m the boss, and besides, I have some very capable managers in place, keeping my busines
ses afloat. Tell me, what’s the point of having all this if you can’t take some time off if you want to.’

‘I’m sure you can, it’s just that you’ve never wanted to.’

‘That’s because I love what I do. I love investing in companies, building them up again then selling them at a profit. It makes me sing in the morning, but right now, I’ve found a new song.’

‘So where does that leave me?’

‘Oh you are still here to do the things I need.’

‘Not business?’

‘You are correct. So get onto that investigator and tell him to hurry things along, or else he’s fired.’

‘Okay then.’ She smiled.

‘Could you give Seth a ring and ask him to be here for eleven instead of one as I’d asked. I need to get some serious training in.’

She nodded.

‘In the meantime, I might answer some of those emails.’

‘I knew you couldn’t stay away.’ She laughed.

‘Perhaps, but once I find out who she is…things will change.’

Casey stood up, that was yet to be seen.
Eugene had met so many women in his life time, she just wasn’t convinced.

****

‘Hey, Justin, it’s nice to see you here.’ Sahara high fived her friend she’d met a few months ago.

‘Yep! Back to it, I’m just so
glad you’re here.’ He smiled, his gorgeous green eyes touched her heart.

Justin was battling a
brain tumour and his spirits were just as high and positive as Sahara.

‘So, what are you
r plans for today?’ he asked.

‘Well.’ She sat down and the nurse attended to her.

‘Shopping, I’ll be looking for some new clothes, maybe a new hair cut.’ She giggled.

‘Yeah, tha
t sounds great. A new hair cut would certainly suit you.’ He laughed.

‘I’ll slip out i
nto town, honey,’ her mother said.

‘Yes, of course, take your time, I’m not going anywhere.’ She laughed.

Elizabeth nodded and left them. She put on a brave face, even though it hurt so much within her. There was always that fear, the fear of loosing her only child, and it didn’t matter how many times Sahara had asked her not to think about things that had not happened yet, she couldn’t help it.

‘What about you, what are your plans for today?’ she asked knowing very well he’d be going back to his room somewhere in the hospital.

‘Later today, I’m going to play on my Xbox kinect, and then I’m going to hop into dad’s car, take a drive to McDonalds and order a McFlurry.’

‘That sounds fab!’ She tried to enter his dream world the way he entered hers.

It was their language, their way and it worked for them.

‘Tell me, what’s the weather like today, I want to know what will be appropriate
clothing for my outing.’ He smiled.

She rea
ched out her hand and he took it as he sat in his wheel chair, receiving his dose of chemo. His hands were cold and frail, her heart missed a beat when the realisation hit her.

‘It’s warm with a cool breeze.’ She squeezed his hand gently. ‘I guess the best thing is to put on a t-shirt.’

He shut his eyes and tried to imagine it.

‘You’ll have the window down, and the air will blow into the car.’

‘I know exactly what t-shirt I’ll wear.’

‘Yeah, tell me.’ She shut her eyes and began to imagine it with him.

‘It’s one of my Jack Will t-shirts. Navy blue.’

‘I bet you
’ll look good in it.’

‘I do.
You should come with me. We can go shopping and then to McDonalds.’

‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

They sat and continued to imagine what their lives would be outside that hospital. A life they knew that would only remain in their imagination, but felt as real as they allowed it to be.

A while later they talked about other things, but soon
Sahara started to feel tired and a little ill. Even though they’d put anti emetics in the drip, it did little to prevent the sickness that would come on later that day. It wasn’t something she could get used to and it was the one thing she hated.

‘What number?’ asked Justin.

‘A five, slowly slipping to a four.’

‘Hang in there, you’ll be just fine. It’s for the better.’

She smiled. ‘You?’ she asked.

‘I’m always an eight.’ He laughed. ‘An eight.’

She laughed lightly. Justin was the one person who had taught her to appreciate her life. Unlike her, he wasn’t yet able to leave the hospital, he’d had numerous operations that had cut down the tumour, but not enough to get rid of it completely. It had been a stubborn cancer, and yet he was always up beat. She’d once asked him how he’d managed to stay up beat all the time, he’d turned to her and smiled and said,

‘I figured I have two choices. I could choose to be miserable all the days of my life, or I could choose to be happy. It takes much more energy to be miserable, why not be happy. And, nothing good comes out of being miserable so why bother.’ He’d laughed.

Sahara couldn’t agree more. The years of battling cancer had taught her that. She could blame genetics for her misfortune, or she could be happy that she was still alive.

‘It isn’t always easy to be up beat, I’ll admit that. But it’s a conscious choice I make,’ he’d added.

That was how she chose to live her life most days. She never denied the sad days, but she did try to remember what was good.

‘I met a man,’ she said suddenly with her eyes closed.

‘You did?’ Justin turned to face her.

‘Not the way you think.’ She smiled as she remembered
Eugene.

‘What way is that?’

‘Well…oh I don’t know what I mean.’

‘You like him, don’t you?’

She giggled.

‘I take that as a yes.’

‘I guess I do like him, but I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. It’s for the best anyway.’

‘Why would you say that?’

‘My life isn’t that simple.’

‘No one’s is. Why not just live in the moment.’

‘I do and I did. I just don’t want to get attached to someone, I might not be there long term.’

‘You can’t be seriously saying that. You of all people should know how life works.’

‘I do, I really do, but when it comes to love, it’s a whole new subject for me.’

‘Let go of all thoughts of tomorrow, just live for today. If you like the guy, you like the guy, there isn’t anything wrong with that.’

‘He’s a player,’ she said.

‘Even better!
’ He laughed.

She laughed too. In her mind, she had it all figured out, it seemed like the perfect plan, but in reality, it wasn’t as simple, her heart wasn’t like her mind.

‘Just be you.’ He encouraged.

‘I will.’

They spoke about lighter subjects until there was nothing left between them, except silence. Sometimes it was just enough for them to enjoy each other’s presence. Eventually it was time for her to leave. Elizabeth waited for Sahara to say her goodbye’s to Justin.

‘As always, it’s been great!’ she said.

‘Go and enjoy that shopping!’ he laughed lightly.

‘And you enjoy that drive to McDonalds for the McFlurry.’

‘I sure will.’

Sahara
left with her mother. As they walked Sahara felt a little queasy, but that was normal. She’d done it quite a few times that it no longer scared her, not as much as the results of the chemo.

‘Why do you two always talk about things you’ll never do.’

‘Never say never mum. I will go out shopping once the sickness and tiredness has worn off.’

‘Ok, but what about Justin.’

‘We’re just imagining it mum. Sometimes the imagination is better than the real thing.’

‘If you say so
, honey.’ Elizabeth wouldn’t understand it the way they did. It wasn’t about doing it, it was just a way of escaping with the mind.

‘When I get home, all I want to do is lie down.’

‘Anything you need honey.’ Her mother smiled.

Chapter Four

Sahara gazed around the restaurant for a moment and spotted them. They were waving like a bunch of crazy women in the corner of Bella Italia. She dashed over toward them with a great big grin!

‘Hey!’ Emily stood up and took her into a big hug. ‘You look great!’

‘Thank you, you look great too. The honeymoon has done you good!’

‘Oh yes, it was l
ovely. White sands, blue sea…I didn’t want to come back to the real world. Not to mention the miserable weather!’

‘N
o complaining!’ Sahara warned.

‘I’m sorry.’ She giggled.

‘Hey, you.’ Felicity stood and gave her a hug too.

‘So what’s this emergency meeting?’
Sahara sat down with her closest friends.

The past few weeks, although had been hard and an upward struggle, she’d coped and was feeling a lot better!