Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (57 page)

room, or rooms, together, no breaking of furniture or drunken, noisy

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 333

binges involved, except perhaps the loud objections and profanities

that spilled from Gage’s mouth when Rylan kicked his ass at

Playstation or the over-indulgent passionate cries of the odd groupie

that Gage had smuggled back to their room. The latter situation had

happened less and less, a perfectly good thing in Rylan’s mind. He

wasn’t sure how Gage felt about it and if tonight was any indication,

Gage seemed quite happy to continue sharing their sex life with

others.

Rylan didn’t consider what they shared to be merely fucking but

since words like
love, monogamy, and commitment
weren’t part of

either of their vocabularies, he wasn’t even sure where Gage stood on

the issue of their relationship. And being the pussy partner of the

relationship, as Gage liked to tease, the less aggressive and demanding

one, he’d never had the courage to ask Gage about it outright.

Rock stars didn’t do serious relationships, and if they did, it

certainly wasn’t with another member of their band, whether that

person was of the same or opposite sex. They may have accidents and

incidents of unexpected monogamy, more often than not involving

one of their conquests getting knocked-up but unless Rylan had

misunderstood his high school biology classes, there wasn’t much

chance of him, or Gage for that matter, getting pregnant.

Rumors were always flying when
Glitter Fox
came to town;

rumors of bisexuality and orgies with groupies, and in the past, those

rumors had been somewhat accurate. But now, for the past couple of

years, the only orgies involved Gage, Rylan and some hot boy they’d

dragged back to their room. The ever-changing, nameless faces were

usually picked out by Gage, then snuck into one of their hotel rooms

by their muscle-bound bodyguard, Chase. Chase was discreet and

reliable, and had been with Glitter Fox since its early beginnings six

years ago. He was loyal and didn’t judge, something that was

important to the whole band.

Rylan swiveled his head against the door, turning his body until he

was facing the opposite way then sliding down until his bottom hit the

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 334

floor. He dropped his head to his knees, screwed his eyes closed and

just breathed in the quiet of the moment, trying hard to ignore the fact

his bare skin was touching carpet that was disgustingly dirty and

germ-ridden. He shifted so one leg settled beneath him, his mind

switching back to the situation at hand.

His other option was, of course, to go back to Gage—Gage and

his twinkie, Gage and his nightly snack—but fuck, that seemed like

such a backwards turn of events. Not to mention the fact that Hunter

was Gage’s type not Rylan’s and whose fucking birthday was it

anyhow? It didn’t really matter since Rylan wasn’t interested in being

with anyone but Gage, and seriously, how did someone waltz back

into the room where they’d just made a dramatic show of storming

out?

Either way he’d lose even more of his dignity, more than he’d

already given up in front of Gage and the kid. Either way he’d end up

feeling stupid and embarrassed. Perhaps he could just sit here and wait

for one of the other band members to saunter by, not that there was

much chance of that happening given the late hour, and really, how

was that any less stupid or embarrassing?

He was tired and truth be told, fed up with life on the road at the

moment. He needed a break to digest all the feelings he’d been

having, all the ponderings and confusion he was feeling about him and

Gage, Gage and him, them together, them apart. He didn’t even know

when he’d started thinking in terms of relationships and commitment

instead of one-night stands, fuck toys and just getting laid. All he

knew was one minute he’d been fine with their casual, open lifestyle

and the next he felt possessive and pouty whenever someone else

shared his and Gage’s evenings.

He could blame his behavior tonight on the fact it was his

birthday, make it seem more like a selfish
me, me, me
display of

acting out rather than what it really was. But maybe age did have

something to do with it. Maybe turning thirty-five put him into some

different phase of his life. Was he like some woman feeling her

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 335

biological clock ticking? Was he craving domesticity? No, that was

just wrong. He still wanted to rock out every night, stand sweaty and

turned-on in front of the band’s adoring fans, his
Les Paul
tucked

securing against his body, the crowd screaming his name during his

solos.

No, that part of his life was fine, fucking great even. It was being

with Gage that kept his brain churning in a schizophrenic labyrinth of

distraction, his mind going this way and that, jumping from one

extreme to the other.

He wanted Gage all to himself—he didn’t mind sharing Gage as

long as they were together. He needed Gage to be satisfied with only

Rylan as his lover—Gage needed to be who he was and Rylan was

satisfied to just be part of his life. He wanted to spend the rest of his

life with Gage—he was happy to be with Gage as long as Gage still

wanted him, in any way he wanted him, with whoever else he wanted

to be with.

The sound of a door opening down the hall broke him from his

self-reflection, his whole body going guitar-string taut. He lifted his

head to see the twink strolling toward him, arms weighed down with

loot; Glitter Fox posters, pictures and assorted other things including a

brand new black T-shirt draped loosely around his neck. Rylan took a

deep breath and lifted himself from the floor, crossing his arms over

his chest and leaning a hip against the wall. He could do this. He

could keep things the same if that’s what kept him with Gage.

“Yo, dude,” the kid drawled, a huge ass grin spread across his

face. “Look at all the shit Gage gave me, man!”

He stopped right in front of Rylan, planting himself in the

guitarist’s personal space and bouncing excitedly from one foot to the

other. Rylan held his ground, one part of him annoyed as hell at the

nerve of the kid and the other, a little impressed for the exact same

reason.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 336

“Looks like a good haul,” Rylan said softly, maintaining his alpha

male pose and looking the excited youngster square in the eyes. “Was

awfully quick though—”

“Gage wanted me to give these to you, man. He said you’d

probably be hanging out here in the hall.”

Rylan huffed out a frustrated breath as Hunter held his hand out,

something white clasped between his fingers. “You okay, dude? You

look a little… pouty. Want me to stick around and keep you company?

I could go down and get us a couple of beers. Well, I actually couldn’t

do that legally but I’ve got a fake I.D. so that won’t be a problem. We

could have our own party in the hall, yo!” Hunter grinned widely

again, pressing something into Rylan’s palm when he extended his

hand.

No, just fucking no, Rylan’s brain screamed, then, “How old are

you, Hunter?” If Gage hadn’t even bothered to check the twink’s

I.D.—his real I.D.—Rylan was going to fucking kill him.

“Almost eighteen, but everyone always says I look way older,”

Hunter said proudly, readjusting the bundle of goodies he clutched to

his chest, the huge-ass grin never faltering. “So… you wanna beer?”

Rylan shook his head. Gage was fucking dead. So fucking dead.

“No, Hunter… thank you. You can just head out.”

Hunter shrugged and slipped one hand into his front pocket,

fingers wrapping around what appeared to be a cellphone. “Okay,

cool. My mom’s waiting in the car anyhow. She said I couldn’t come

unless I aced my biology test tomorrow so I gotta hit the books hard. I

was wondering if I could snap a quick pic for my Facebook. My

friends are gonna fucking flip out.”

Rylan loosely draped an arm around Hunter’s shoulders, faking

his best rock star smirk as Hunter pulled him close. Hunter kept

hanging on when he pulled the phone back, studying the picture for a

moment then laughing out loud. “Fucking cool! Thanks, dude. Great

meeting you guys. See you at your next show, right?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 337

“Right.” Rylan struggled to maintain a calm, casual look on his

face despite the roaring inside his head. The kid wasn’t even eighteen,

was still in high school and his mother was waiting in the fucking car?

What the hell kind of universe had he been dropped into?

“Have a good one, man!” Hunter called behind him as he bounded

down the hall toward the elevator, abruptly turning and lifting a hand

in the air. “Oh fuck, I forgot! Gage said he was gonna do some

bubbles if you wanted to join him… No! He was gonna
indulge
in

some bubbles. Don’t know what that means but, well… see ya!”

****

smacked his hand against the wall. Gage had some goddamn nerve!

Inviting an underage kid back to their room, fucking him then

expecting Rylan to warm his bed for the rest of the night? He shoved

at the wall again, maybe even stomped his bare feet a little in

frustration and anger. Jailbait? Sloppy seconds? Seriously? Holy

fucking Christ!

Remembering the items Hunter had placed in his hand, he opened

his fingers to find two of the hotel’s magnetic key cards—two, not

one, two. Leave it to Gage to make it difficult, not that it really

mattered since he could just try both in the door of his room, but at the

back of his mind he knew when Gage was involved, there had to be a

catch.

He fingered the cards, flipping them over and studying the backs.

One was blank, except for the expected black stripe running across the

center of the card and the hotel name written in plain black letters

beneath it. The other card made Rylan shake his head in disbelief, his

mind struggling to control the ridiculous fluttering of his heart.

Fucking Gage. Staying mad at him for any length of time was always

impossible for Rylan. No matter how he hard he tried, how cold and

distanced Rylan attempted to be, how badly Gage screwed up, he just

couldn’t get him out of his mind, out of his heart.

Fucking Gage.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 338

****

mechanism resonating in the empty hallway. Rylan carefully turned

the knob, his decision still not clear in his head, but then pushed the

door open anyway. The suite was dark except for a horizontal slit of

light shining across the floor at the opposite end of the room. It

illuminated the richness of the suite, casting intricate and interesting

shadows on the walls and furniture, as well as laying a path to where

Rylan needed to go.

He moved toward the light, swearing under his breath as he

stubbed his toe on what he thought was a shoe or boot or maybe even

a beer bottle. He tossed one of the key cards on the table as he passed

by, clutching the other one in his hand and running his thumb over the

side with the magnetic strip. He could just call it a night, go straight to

bed and deal with everything in the morning. That would be the

logical solution, the one guaranteed to help him keep his cool with

Gage, to not get all emotional and pissy with him. Gage was just Gage

after all. He’d never change and Rylan wasn’t in the mood to try and

explain how he, himself, had changed almost in the blink of an eye.

What Gage did was his business and it wasn’t up to Rylan to monitor