Don't Make Me Beautiful (37 page)

He gives her an almost anguished look.
 
“Are you breaking up with me?”
 
He hates feeling so weak, but there’s nothing he can do about it.
 
This woman has him wrapped around her finger, and she doesn’t even know it.

She smiles, reaching up to smooth his face.
 
“Are we even dating?”

“As soon as you’re up to it, we are.”

“I’m feeling pretty good today.”

He smiles, his heart feeling just a tiny bit lighter.
 
“Liam’s with Helen tonight.
 
How about a movie?”

“A stay at home movie sounds fine by me.
 
And some Chinese takeout.”

“Consider it done.”
 
Brian moves to the phone.
 
“I’ll call it in now and then we can go figure out which movie to rent.”

“I’m on it,” Nicole says, leaving the kitchen.

Brian watches her go, wondering when or if a date night with Nicole will ever actually mean leaving the house.

Chapter Fifty-Two

TEA SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD idea when Agnes proposed it a couple days ago.
 
Now it’s making Nicole twice as nervous to know that she’s going to get the news that will determine her entire future with all these important people sitting next to her.
 
People who might not be related to her by blood or law, but who are family regardless.

They are the ones who lifted her up when she was at her lowest, who’ve stood by her when she needed a helping hand, who are now going to walk the road next to her that either leads to prison or a new life.
 
She’s sure that no matter how hard she works at it for the rest of her life, she’ll never be able to repay them for all they’ve done.
 
For her and for Kitten.

Nicole’s hand shakes as she lifts the tea cup to her lips.

“Chamomile calms the nerves and I added a little verveine to the mix too to help with stress.” Agnes lifts the pot to pour some into Brian’s cup.

“Are we worried about vampires?” asks Helen, winking over her tea at Nicole.

Nicole almost chokes on the lemony, flowery-smelling liquid.
 
She’s been watching
Vampire Diaries
re-runs with Helen for the past week so the reference isn’t lost on her.

“Vampires?
 
Heavens no.” Agnes looks down into her cup.
 
“Why would you think that?”

“Oh, no reason.
 
So what are these?” Helen asks, holding up a small cake and doing a good job of distracting Agnes from the vampire remedy in her teacup.

“Oh, those are petit fours.
 
I bought them at a cute little bakery I saw downtown called Desperate Measures.
 
Ever heard of it?
 
One of the ladies in my mahjong group suggested it.”

Helen was busy chewing, but that didn’t stop her from answering.
 
“No I haven’t, but I need their address, stat.
 
This is amazing.”

Brian’s cell phone rings, startling them all into silence.

Nicole puts her cup back on the saucer, cringing when it rattles around.
 
“Sorry.”
 
She grabs her napkin to wipe the tea from her hand and the table.
 
“Did I break it?”

“No, you’re fine.
 
Just take your call,” Agnes says, leaning forward to deal with the lake of tea that the cup is now swimming in.

Brian answers the call.
 
“Hello, Brian Jensen.”
 
He pauses and stands, nodding at Nicole.
 
“Yes, she’s here.
 
Hold on and I’ll put her on.”
 
He holds out the phone.

Nicole reaches out with a trembling hand and takes the phone from him, putting it to her ear.
 
“Hi.
 
This is Nicole.”

“Hello, Nicole, this is Gary.”

“Hi, Gary.
 
So do you have some news for me?”
 
Butterflies are dancing the can-can in her stomach.
 
She moves into the hallway so she has the bathroom nearby, just in case she suddenly has the urge to throw up.

“Yes.
 
Good news and bad.
 
Do you want me to come over and deliver it in person?
 
I called because I figured you’d want to know as soon as possible.”

“No, just tell me now.
 
I can take it.”

“Okay, so the good news is, no one’s being charged with murder right now, so along with you not being charged for that, it also means no grand jury.
 
The report came back from the coroner’s office.
 
From what the report is saying, the baby’s death is considered mostly due to its premature age.
 
There was some other medical verbiage there, but that’s the gist.”

“Okay.”
 
She fights back tears as she pictures the tiny baby she’d held in her arms for not enough time.
 
“What else?”

Brian is standing close, his eyes showing giant question marks as he waits to hear the news himself.
 
She keeps the phone to her ear, though.
 
She wants to deal with this herself first, before she burdens anyone else with it.

“The issue we still have remaining is whether early medical intervention would have changed the baby’s outcome.
 
And for that, the DA is still considering charging you and John with something.
 
What that would be, I’m not sure.
 
I’d rather not say until I hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

Nicole nods, the tears coming now in full force. “Yes, I understand.
 
That’s fair.”

“I don’t know if I agree with that statement, but it’s not my decision,” Gary says.
 
“The coroner is having a conversation with an obstetrics expert and we’ll have that additional report maybe as soon as this evening, but probably more like tomorrow.
 
The DA has asked the group involved in the whole thing to fast-track it.
 
I explained the situation and the fact that you’d like to give the baby her burial, and everyone seems on board with making that happen.
 
Regardless what happens with you and John, everyone wants Kitten to have her final resting place as soon as possible.”

Nicole nods, unable to say anymore.

Brian notices her distress and holds out his hand for the phone.
 
“What is it?
 
What’d they decide?” he asks.

Nicole doesn’t hear any more of it.
 
She’s suddenly too exhausted to process any more news about her life.
 
“Thanks, Gary.
 
Here’s Brian.”
 
She leaves him with the phone and runs from Agnes’s house.

Hiding in her bedroom in Brian’s house under the covers where she can cry her eyes out seems to be the best plan of action for now.
 
She’s done being strong for today.

For the rest of the afternoon, Nicole cries for her daughter and for the life they’ll never be able to have together because she wasn’t strong enough to fight for them both.

Chapter Fifty-Three

BRIAN STANDS OUTSIDE NICOLE’S DOOR, wondering if he should follow through with his plan or let Nicole deal with her sadness in her own way.
 
It doesn’t take long for him to decide, feeling on some deep level that being alone isn’t a good idea for her right now. She’s been alone for way too long as it is.

He opens the door and finds her on her bed, curled into a ball and facing the far wall.

“Nicole?
 
I came to see if you’re ready for our date that didn’t happen the other night because you fell asleep in the middle of the movie.”

Her voice doesn’t even sound like her.
 
“I can’t.
 
I’m just going to stay here if that’s okay.”

Brian walks around the bed and sits down on the edge of it.
 
He rubs her shoulder as he talks, trying not to express his reaction to seeing her face.
 
She’s been crying for hours, that much is obvious.
 
Her injuries and the swelling from all her sorrow have turned her into something that looks almost non-human. His heart breaks for her and all she’s lost.

“Babe, I think it’s a really bad idea to let you sit here and wallow in the sadness.
 
I know this whole situation hurts and your future is kind of up in the air right now, but this isn’t helping you.
 
You’re going backwards not forwards.”

“Forward movement is Helen’s motto, not mine.”
 
She’s staring at the wall, not even really acknowledging him.
 
She sounds like a robot.

“Bull.
 
It’s all of us.
 
We’re all moving forward together.
 
We’re a team.
 
A family.
 
Right?”
 
He shakes her shoulder a little.
 
“Come on.
 
Say it.”

“No.”
 
She sniffs loudly and then coughs, finally breaking out of her trance.

“Yes.
 
Say it.
 
Say,
you’re my family.”

“No.” She sounds less robotic this time and only a little cranky.

“Yes.
 
I insist.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“That’s true, but I am the guy who you agreed to go out on a date with.”

“Raincheck.”
 
She turns her face deeper into the pillow.

“Nope.
 
No rainchecks given, sorry.”
 
He pulls the pillow away and gently rolls her onto her back.
 
Her casted arm flops over to rest across her belly.

“You can be really annoying sometimes, you know that?” she asks.
 
A tear slips out of the corner of her eye and drips down to her ear and her chin trembles.

“I have been told that, by a few people, actually.
 
But I never listen to what anyone says, so...”

“I noticed.”
 
She grabs the pillow back with her good hand and plops it over her face.
 
Her voice comes out muffled.
 
“Go away.”

He takes the pillow and throws it across the room.
 
It hits the wall and falls to the floor with a thump.
 
“No.
 
I have the movie all queued up and the food will be here any minute.
 
Chinese stir-fry, take two.”

The moment the words are out of his mouth, the doorbell rings.

“Saved by the bell,” Nicole says, a slight smile tweaking the corners of her mouth.

“Not by a long shot,” he says, getting up.
 
“Get your buns out to the couch or I’m coming back in here with a bucket of ice water.”

“You wouldn’t!” she yells out after him.
 
She sounds like she’s been smoking three packs a day for twenty years.

“Try me!” he yells back.
 
He’s still smiling when he opens the door to the delivery guy.

The smallish teenager stares back at him with a confused expression before going back to his bland, uninterested look.
 
“Uh, yeah.
 
Delivery.
 
You order from Ling Ling’s?”

“Yep, how much do I owe you?”
 
Brian digs into his front pocket.

The guy looks at the ticket stapled to the top of the bag.
 
“Fourteen dollars and sixty three cents.”
 
He looks up and adds, “Plus tip.” A flash of a cheesy smile lights up his face for all of two seconds before his mouth falls back into its mannequin-like dullness.

“Okay, here you go.” Brian hands him a twenty.

“You want change?” the kid asks as Brian is shutting the door.

“Nope.
 
Have a good one.”

“Dude, thanks!”
 
He’s still staring at the money when the door closes in his face.

“Dinner’s on!” Brian yells, going into the kitchen to grab the plates, cups, and silverware he already stacked up.
 
Putting the bag on top of it all, he carries the whole thing out to the living room and puts it on the coffee table in front of the television.
 
Two minutes later and the feast is ready.
 
“You have ten seconds to get out here!
 
I’m counting!
 
Ten!
 
Nine! …”

“Keep your pants on!
 
I’ll be out in a minute,” she says, and then the water goes on in the bathroom.

He sits back and smiles, pointing the remote at the television to get the movie started.
 
Maybe he should be worried about being so heavy-handed with Nicole, considering all she’s been through with that controlling monster, but for some reason, this just feels like the right thing to do.
 
To not accept her surrender or her walking away from him and what he has to offer.
 
If she rejects him because he’s not the one for her, that’s fine.
 
But he won’t accept being rejected because she’s giving up on life in general.
 
That
will never work.

She appears in the entrance to the room.
 
She’s washed her face and brushed her hair, but she still looks run down and exhausted.
 
“Hello, gorgeous,” he says, getting up with a huge grin on his face.
 
He can’t help it.
 
She’s like an angel standing there in her white t-shirt and jeans.
 
She could stay exactly like that for the rest of eternity and he’d still be thrilled to see her every day.

“Don’t call me that,” she says, coming into the room.
 
“It’s not true.”

He meets her halfway.
 
“Says you.
 
Not me.”