Don't Judge a Bear by His Cover (8 page)

But I can't stop. My fingers become more insistent, more demanding, and I can almost hear Torben's groans, can almost taste him. Why am I fighting this? He's a good man. Handsome. A lover of books. No, not handsome, panty-wetting hot. Why am I fighting this? With each stroke of my finger I find it harder to remember. God, I want him so bad. I want him inside me. I've had one night stands before. Would this be so different?

I slide two fingers inside my pussy and arch my back as I imagine Torben's face between my legs. My fantasy loses all coherence and breaks down into a series of unconnected images and needs. His body. My breasts. His mouth, his lips, his tongue. His eyes, burning into my soul. Passion. Fucking like this is our last night on earth. Our bodies moving sinuously together, rhythmically, sweating and groaning and crying out, experiencing a kind of ecstasy I've never known before, and never will again.

I can feel my orgasm approaching, like a wall of water rolling toward the shore, a tsunami of pleasure that will wash away the last of my resolve. I have to stop. I have to stop. Moaning and biting my lower lip, I move my fingers faster and faster - and that's when I hear a quiet knock on my door.

I stop, shivering, right on the brink of cumming. It's him. It's Torben. The last of my willpower flows away. He's come for me. I stand, my whole body vibrating with desire, and without hesitation, without fear, I unlock the door and open it.

Chapter 10

Hrald shoves the door wide open and steps in, reeking of cheap alcohol and with naked lust burning in his eyes. My fever dream snaps as I stumble back, replaced with cold, writhing fear like a slimy fish leaping within my chest. Before I can scream, before I can think, his large palm presses over my mouth, his other hand clasping the back of my head, and his face comes close to mine, his breath so pungent with booze that it makes my eyes water.

"Shh-shh-shh," he whispers. "Quiet now, quiet. We wouldn't want to wake the neighbors, would we?"

I scream against his palm, try to bite it, kick at him but he turns his hip to take the blow on his thigh and laughs, deep and throaty. "Oh, she's got a little fight in her," he growls, and with two more steps he forces me back so that we trip and fall on the bed.

He's massive, a huge man like Torben, and his heavy body pins me easily to the hard mattress. I whip my head from side to side, trying to free my mouth, but then freeze when I feel cold steel against my neck.

"Oh, yes," says Hrald, voice husky and strange. "You feel that? That's a little warning. Keep this up, make life difficult for me, and I'll leave my mark. Maybe I'll just take off your earlobe. Maybe I'll carve a little something in your back. So easy, easy. Yes?"

I stare up at him, vibrating with terror, and when he slowly removes his palm I stay still, frozen by the sharp edge pressed against my throat. "Torben will kill you," I whisper.

"Torben'll understand," says Hrald, voice uneasy. "He's clan. We share our females. Ol' Hrald deserves a little something for all his work. Did I get any gratitude? No. So I'll have to pay myself for my efforts."

"Let me go," I say, putting all the force and anger that I can into my voice.

"Wait a second," he says, sniffing at the air. "What's this?" Before I can react, he seizes my wrist. The same hand, I realize, that I was using to touch myself. "Oh," he groans, bringing it to his face. "Oh, you've been naughty, haven't you? Thinking of old Hrald? Imagining his thick cock pumping in and out of your ass? Oh, yes. Yes, you have."

I buck and try to shove him off as he brings my fingers to his lips and licks them, shoving them between his lips and sucking my juices with low, gargling groans. He's too heavy for me to shift. And just when I go to scream, in outrage and disgust, I feel the knife against my throat again.

"Shh," he whispers. "Shh, relax. You ain't never been with a man like me before. Relax, missy. Maybe you'll surprise yourself. Maybe you'll like it. I seen the way you been looking at me. The way you've been wanting me. Oh, yes. Don't deny it."

I want to retch as he licks my hand, sucking on each finger as if it's a rib he's trying to get the last drop of sauce from. "Please," I say, voice shaking. "Please get off of me."

"Tell you what," he says, letting my hand go and sitting up, moving his body so that his knees pin down my arms and the crotch of his jeans is inches from my face. "You suck me off, suck me off like you mean it, and I'll let you go. How 'bout it? I'll leave all your pretty holes alone if you just wrap those lips around my cock."

I stare up at him, fascinated and disgusted by the naked hunger on his face, the inhuman light burning deep within the depths of his eyes. He means it. He really means it.

"Shh," says Hrald again, taking the point of the knife and pressing it to my cheek. "Just go with it. Hmm?" He rubs his thumb roughly over my lips, parting them and pressing it deep into my mouth. I want to bite hard, tear it off, but that knife, oh, that knife. He works his thumb over my tongue, pushes it deep into my mouth, right into the back of my throat, making me gag.

"You gonna take me all the way? You better not puke on my cock, bitch. I'm going to push into the back of your throat till you see red." His voice starts to get rough. "Oh, yes. Thinking you're better than me. I'll show you."

I'm trying not to choke. Turning my head from side to side as his thumb is replaced by three fingers and he forces them deep. I can't breathe. I can't move. His face dances above mine, refracted through the tears the gagging is causing. I can't control myself any longer. I have to scream. I can feel it burning up from my core, even if it means his cutting me, scarring me or worse.

"What the -?" I hear the distant words, and then an unearthly roar shatters the room. It's so deep and terrifying that I feel it in the cavity of my chest. Hrald twists violently around, his face going slack-jawed with fear, and then something slams into him with such power that he's lifted off my chest and sent crashing into the wall.

I scream and scoot up to the headboard. There's a bear in the room. A real live bear, but oh so much larger than anything I've ever seen, ever imagined. It's the size of a VW van, filling the space so that I can't think. The bed is slammed aside as the bear powers toward Hrald, who is trying to stand, the wall cratered where he hit it, hand to his head, and then the massive bear slams a paw into his shoulder and Hrald is sent flying bonelessly to collide with another wall.

I hear bones snap. The bear roars again, a sound of bloodcurdling fury, strands of spittle flying through the air. It goes to rear onto its hind legs, but there's not enough room. Instead it leaps forward and pins Hrald to the ground, and then lowers its head to the biker's face, and again it roars, the sound so deafening that all Hrald can do is turn his head to one side and close his eyes.

"Torben!" I scream. "No!" He's about to kill Hrald. I know it. I can see it written in the way the bear pauses, eyes narrowing, ready to reach down and crush Hrald's skull in his jaws.

The bear stops and turns to look at me. It's Torben. I know it, it's in his eyes, and behind that all-consuming fury I see the man. Then, with a chuffing growl, he steps back and shifts into the man I know. I watch mesmerized as the fur recedes, the vast amount of muscle twists and shrinks, all of it taking but a second till Torben stands naked before me, hands clenched into fists, staring down at where Hrald lies.

"Get up," he snarls.

I'm about to protest, argue that nobody could stand after such treatment, but somehow Hrald manages, pulling himself painfully to his feet, shoulder twisted, something terribly wrong with his hip. But he stands, faces already swelling with bruising.

"Get the hell out," growls Torben. "Get on your bike. Go meet up with the pack. If I see you before dawn tomorrow, I swear by the Great Bear that I'll kill you."

Hrald sneers, spits a bloody wad on the floor, and then limps to the door. He opens his mouth to say something snide, but whatever look Torben gives him freezes the words in his gullet and he instead disappears into the night, closing the door behind him.

I sag against the headboard and start crying, the sheer intensity of the moment now that it's finished overwhelming me. Torben is immediately next to me, an arm around my shoulder, and even though I'm scared of him, of the bear that's hidden in his depths, I bury my face in his neck and let him hold me close. That feeling of being pinned, trapped, with Hrald leering down at me haunts me, makes me want to scream. But he's gone. He's gone, and Torben is here, holding me tight, whispering in my ear, squeezing me gently and promising that nothing will happen to me, nothing will happen, that he won't leave me, that I'm safe.

Slowly I stop crying, catching my breath in a series of hitches, and finally I pull away and wipe my eyes.

"Are you OK?" Torben's voice is almost scared. "I mean, I'm sorry, that's the dumbest question, but -"

I force myself to nod. "Thank you."

He shakes his head. "I was an idiot. I should never have left you here alone. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was trying to protect you, from - from me, but instead -"

It's my turn to shake my head. "No. No, it's not your fault. It's his fault. He - he -"

Torben pulls me in close and squeezes me tight. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I close my eyes and rest my head on his chest. It feels good. Safe. In his arms, I feel like the world is held at bay. My father. Universal Books. My past. Men like Hrald. None of them can get to me with Torben here.

But I know that's not true. Even though it feels amazing, I know this world is crueler and more complex than that. I wipe at my face. Take a deep breath and sit up again. Torben is studying my face, his own torn by conflict and doubt.

"I should never have brought you up here."

"Torben –"

"No. It's bad enough that I'm putting myself through this foolish plan. But to drag you along? All because I need you, want you close?" He gets up, the mattress shaking as his weight leaves it, and paces to the window, rubbing at his head. "What was I thinking? That Krassok and the others will respect my claim to you if they beat me? That I can keep you safe with thirty-plus Claws in the area?"

"Torben, I wanted to come -"

But again he cuts me off. "No. No, you didn't. Not the real you. Just the part that's responding to my bear. The part that's not giving either of us a choice."

"No," I say. "I mean, yes, kind of. But I came because I had to. For other reasons." I feel confused, all tripped up. "But now I want to be here, for my own reasons." I stop. My head is spinning, a whirling mess.

"What are you talking about?" He steps close and kneels by the edge of the bed. God, he's naked, he's been naked all along, but I put that out of my mind, focus on his face. "What do you mean, reasons of your own?"

"The Book Cave," I say brokenly. "I need your store." It sounds stupid. Trivial to bring up. To talk about money when so much more is at stake.

"The Book Cave?" He sounds confused. "Oh. Right. But..." He frowns. "How can that be worth this danger? How can you be risking all this for your job?"

"It's not just my job." I feel a sinking feeling of reluctance. I don't want to talk about this. I've never discussed my business arrangement with anybody else in my life. "I have to make you sell. If you don't, I'll - I'll remain trapped. Working for Universal Books for another seven years."

"Another seven years?" Torben reaches out and takes my hand. "What are you talking about, Saira? You make it sound like you're trapped in a fairy tale."

I laugh bitterly. "My father owns Universal Books. He owns me. Three years ago I - I made a mistake. A bad one. And he got me out of trouble, but in turn, he's forced me to work for him. Getting indie bookstores to sell. I'm good at it. Far too good. And it kills me. I hate myself for what I'm doing. But I promised."

"And the Book Cave will free you?"

I'm surprised. I expected him to be shocked by my father's behavior. To ask immediately about what I did. But then I think of his own family. His own fight to be free. Perhaps more than anybody else, Torben can understand me. Understand the world I've been living in. So all I do is nod.

Torben rocks back onto his heels. Digests this, and then shrugs. "So it's yours. No strings attached. I'll sign it over now, and give you the keys to my pickup. You can drive south and be safe. Get out of this mess. Get away from me, the Claw, and all the danger that's coming south." I can hear his voice going raw. See how much it costs him to say this.

"No!" It just bursts out of me. All over again I'm overwhelmed. By his generosity, by his understanding, by his desire to protect me. But most of all by how strongly I reject the idea of leaving his side. Of leaving his life. "No," I say again, more quietly, but with greater firmness. "I won't leave you."

His smile is heartbreaking. "That's not you talking."

I move forward, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and reaching forward to take his face in my hands. He goes completely stiff, tensing up as if I'm about to attack him. I look deep into his eyes and see fear there, wariness, a desperate desire to not take advantage of me warring with a terrible need to possess my body and my soul.

"This is me," I whisper, my voice nearly breaking with tenderness and happiness and a joy that I never thought I'd feel again. "This is all me, finally realizing that what I'm feeling is true. And good. And real." I smile, my heart leaping in my chest. "I want you, Torben. All of you. Now. Tonight and tomorrow and the day after that."

Doubt, hope, fiery hunger all burn in his eyes as he begins to shake his head. "I swore I would never take advantage -"

"Shh," I whisper, pressing my finger to his lips. "You're not. The more you've pushed me away, the more I've seen the real you. And the man I've seen is a man I could fall in love with. A man I already respect. Admire. And want to know more."

Torben opens his mouth one last time, but no words come out. I can see the doubt receding. The hope blossoming and growing.