Don't Go (38 page)

Mike felt riveted as Danielle spoke, but Stephanie wrote, STOP FROWNING. NONE OF THIS HURTS US. THEY’RE LOSING.

“A mother gives a child self-esteem by being there for her every day, by loving her every day, by taking care of her every day. It’s that continuity that makes Emily’s life experience so good in our family, especially because she lost her mother.”

Mike swallowed hard. Danielle’s words rang true, and he understood how important everything she’d been doing for Emily was, and how well she’d been taking care of her.

Franklin asked, “Mrs. Ridgeway, what did you observe about Emily and her emotional state after her mother’s death?”

“Emily cried a lot, she didn’t sleep. Didn’t want her bottle. She was too young to talk, but she would look around a lot, twisting her little head, and I knew she was looking for her mother. I even made some changes in myself, so that she would feel that her mother was still with her, in some ways.”

Franklin cocked his head. “What changes did you make in yourself, to benefit Emily?”

“I usually dress more conservatively, but I started to relax my style and wear clothes like my sister’s, just to make Emily feel happy and ease her through her grieving process.”

Mike hadn’t realized she’d changed her style intentionally, to help Emily. Stephanie wrote, CHEER UP! THIS IS TOTALLY BESIDE THE POINT!

Franklin paused. “Ms. Ridgeway, do you think that you provide a more stable, loving, and consistent home for Emily than does Dr. Scanlon?”

Danielle’s expression fell into resigned lines. “I know that Mike loves Emily, but the truth is, I believe that Bob and I provide Emily with a family, and in particular, since she is a little girl, I think it’s really important that she have a mother.”

Stephanie jumped up. “Objection, Your Honor. Under section 5328-b, it is clear that the court may not grant a preference to either party in a custody dispute based upon gender.”

Franklin turned to Judge Shield. “Your Honor, Mrs. Ridgeway isn’t making a legal argument, and as you say, let’s not be overly technical. She’s the only person in this courtroom who has hands-on, twenty-four/seven, experience with Emily, and it’s valuable for this court to have factual input from her. As Ms. Bergen pointed out, there is no jury present, and Your Honor is more than qualified to determine the weight he would give such testimony.”

“Ms. Bergen, I’m going to deny the objection.” Judge Shield turned to Danielle. “Please continue, Ms. Ridgeway.”

“I was just saying that Emily looks to me for a lot of girly things, like she plays with my makeup and she’s beginning to wear my jewelry. Yesterday we played dress-up, which was really cute.” Danielle smiled. “I’m not making a legal argument, I’m just telling you how it is between a mother and a daughter. It’s very special.”

Judge Shield chuckled. “I have three daughters, so I know exactly what you mean.”

Mike had to look away, breaking a sweat on his forehead. He understood Danielle’s point, and it wasn’t something he could give Emily, no matter how good a father he was. She was a little girl and she needed a mother, no matter what the law said. It wasn’t just common sense, it was truth.

Franklin paused. “Ms. Ridgeway, knowing Emily as well as you do, can you predict the effect it will have on her emotional well-being if she’s removed from your care?”

“Objection.” Stephanie rose, but Judge Shield waved her back into her seat.

“Counsel, I’ll permit it, on the understanding that Mrs. Ridgeway is not an expert in child care or pediatric psychology, but rather the person with the most knowledge of Emily.”

Danielle frowned. “Honestly, knowing Emily as I do, I really fear for her if she loses us. I’m not saying anything negative about her father, but even if he were the best father in the world, it would be devastating to Emily to take her from our care.”

Stephanie ignored the testimony, writing, DON’T WORRY. WE’RE WINNING.

Franklin asked, “Ms. Ridgeway, what makes you say that?”

“Emily loves us, and she has finally resettled, after her mother’s death, in a new house that she has come to know as her home. I think there would be another round of sleepless nights, nervous upset, and difficulty eating. She’d be miserable. I think she would experience losing me just like losing her mother, as another death.” Danielle paused. “Here’s what worries me, for Emily. What does it do to a child to lose two mothers in two years?”

Mike held his breath. He’d never thought of it before, but it was true that Emily would experience it as a death, as profound a loss as Chloe, maybe more so, because she remembered Danielle better. He couldn’t picture the scene where he walked away with Emily. She’d be hysterical. She’d freak. She’d throw up, like she did before. She’d never stop asking for Danielle.

Danielle testified, “I think it would take her years to recover, especially because at such a young age, it’s so hard to explain things to her. I want to do everything in my power to not let it happen, because I want to save her from that trauma.” She turned to the judge, her blue eyes shining with sudden tears. “Your Honor, I know you have the power, but I’m begging you, for Emily’s sake, please don’t take her from her family and her home.”

Mike’s entire body ached, and he felt sick to his stomach. Stephanie wrote, THIS MAKES NO DIFFERENCE, AS A MATTER OF LAW.

Judge Shield pursed his lips. “I know this is difficult, but I will do the best job I can for Emily, consistent with laws of the Commonwealth. I assure you of that.”

Franklin cleared his throat. “Ms. Ridgeway, my last question is this. Dr. Scanlon has said that if he were granted custody today, he would consider having you as Emily’s babysitter. Would you do that?”

“Yes, of course. I would continue as Emily’s caretaker in any way, shape, or form, because I think I’m essential to her happiness. I would do it for no pay, anywhere.” Danielle sniffled, recovering. “I would do anything for Emily. I love her, and she loves me.”

Stephanie wrote, WE WIN. THE END.

Franklin turned to Judge Shield. “Your Honor, I have no further questions.”

“Your Honor, I have no cross-examination,” Stephanie said, rising. “However, I would like to put my client on the stand for a very brief rebuttal, if I may.”

“You may.” Judge Shields gestured at the witness stand. “Dr. Scanlon, if you will, please take the stand.”

Chapter Seventy

“Dr. Scanlon,” Stephanie said, facing the witness stand. “Please tell the court why you, as Emily’s father, would provide her with a better and more loving home than Mr. and Ms. Ridgeway.”

Mike paused, stunned. Time stopped, and everyone froze in place, like figures sketched by a courtroom artist. Stephanie looked expectant, anticipating his answer. Judge Shield was reading some papers, awaiting a self-serving response. Only Bob and Danielle were riveted, their expression horror mixed with resignation, an acceptance that the worst thing you could imagine was about to happen, right before your eyes. He had seen that expression before, but not on them. He’d seen it on Chatty, just before the grandfather threw the grenade. He realized that his answer was about to explode Bob and Danielle’s world, and worst of all, Emily’s world.

Stephanie cleared her throat. “Dr. Scanlon, did you hear the question? Feel free to tell the court why you, Emily’s natural father, would give her a better and more loving home than her aunt and uncle.”

Mike’s thoughts raced. If he really thought about what was best for Emily, there was only one answer to the question. Bob had been acting as Emily’s father, a role he shouldered with confidence and ease. Danielle had been acting as Emily’s mother and deserved all the credit for the great kid that Emily was growing up to be. Emily loved them both and didn’t know him at all. If he told the truth, he would say that he didn’t know himself anymore, either.

The war had changed him, not just by taking his arm and his livelihood. He was a different man now. He abused opiates. He saw explosions where they didn’t exist. He felt pain in an arm that wasn’t there. He nodded out on the floor and almost killed his own daughter. If he ever got a flashback when he was driving with Emily, he would crash as surely as Chloe would have, when she’d been drinking.

Stephanie smiled, lightly. “Dr. Scanlon, I should have known you’re not the type to toot your own horn, and you don’t have to. Please, feel free not to answer.” She turned quickly to Judge Shield. “I have no further questions, Your Honor. Let’s get home before the snow hits.”

Judge Shield was frowning in confusion, shaking his head.

Franklin jumped up, waving a hand. “Your Honor, I’d like to cross-examine.”

Stephanie scoffed. “Your Honor, there’s no testimony to cross-examine.”

Franklin strode to the dais. “Your Honor, I’d like to explore why Dr. Scanlon didn’t answer the question. It seems like a simple question for somebody who filed emergency papers, bringing us all to court.” His gaze shifted sideways to Stephanie, sternly. “Unless he’s content to let his lawyer do his talking for him.”

Stephanie frowned. “There’s no need to get personal. Dr. Scanlon testified ably and he speaks very well on behalf of himself and his daughter.”

Judge Shield shifted forward, arranging his dark robes around him. “Ms. Bergen, please sit down. I think Mr. Franklin is entitled to explore Dr. Scanlon’s testimony, or his lack thereof.”

“Thank you, Your Honor.” Stephanie turned stiffly away as Franklin faced Mike.

“Dr. Scanlon, I would like to remind you that you’re under oath. You swore on the Bible under the laws of this Commonwealth and even of this country, an oath that I know you take quite seriously. There’s no one in this courtroom who has sacrificed more for his country than you.”

Mike’s mouth went dry, and his arm exploded in pain. He told himself to stay calm, but he felt chilled and shaky. His heart thundered.

“Dr. Scanlon, please tell the Court why you believe you would provide a better home for Emily than Bob and Danielle.”

“I believe that—” Mike started to say, but his voice sounded far away even to him. He thought of what Danielle had said, about their family, about being a mother, about the special bond between mothers and daughters. He pictured himself taking Emily away from her, and he didn’t know what would happen to a child who lost two mothers in two years. He loved Emily too much to destroy her.

Franklin asked, “Dr. Scanlon, don’t you have an answer?”

Mike had an answer, the truth. He had made a vow to Emily, to always put her first, and he was going to keep his word. He turned to Judge Shield. “Your Honor, I don’t think I would provide a better home for Emily than Bob and Danielle.”

“What?” Judge Shield leaned over, an incredulous frown wrinkling his brow. “Dr. Scanlon, do you understand what you just said? Did you misspeak?”

“Your Honor, that’s an admission!” Franklin shouted, and Stephanie leapt to her pumps.

“Your Honor, Dr. Scanlon means to say that—”

“Ms. Bergen, Mr. Franklin, please, silence.” Judge Shield held up a hand and turned back to Mike. “Dr. Scanlon, what are you saying? Just answer the question.”

Mike faced the judge, anguished. “Your Honor, I didn’t misspeak. I meant what I said. If I’m thinking of Emily’s best interests, and not my legal right to her, then she should stay where she is, with them.”

“So ordered!” Judge Shield picked up the gavel and slammed it down with a
crack
!

Chapter Seventy-one

Stephanie marched Mike down the hall, hustled him into the Attorney Conference Room, and slammed the door behind them, throwing her coat, bag, and briefcase onto a chair. “What did you just do? What were you thinking? You just lost the case!”

Mike sank into a chair. His head was pounding. Every muscle felt sore. “Don’t worry, it’s not on you.”

“You’re damn right it’s not on me!” Stephanie’s eyes flashed with anger. “You walked into my office with a difficult case. There’s very few lawyers who could put that case on, and it went in beautifully. But you sunk yourself! You killed the whole thing!”

“Maybe the law would have given her to me, but that wouldn’t be fair to Emily. It wouldn’t be justice, really.” Mike rubbed his forehead, wishing so badly for a pill. He hurt all over, exhausted from the pain, and he didn’t have to white-knuckle it anymore. “I did the right thing for Emily.”

“You
didn’t
do the right thing for Emily. You didn’t do the right thing for her, at all. You did exactly the
wrong
thing.” Stephanie’s pretty face was mottled, and blotches appeared at her neck. “You only did what you’re used to doing. You didn’t step up to the challenge. You were afraid that you couldn’t do it, so you settled for second-best. I don’t know where you got your self-esteem from, but you need to get it straight. It’s not the war, it’s
you
. You answered for you in that courtroom. You didn’t answer for Emily. You’re feeling sorry for yourself because of your arm, because of everything. You’re
afraid
to be a father.”

Mike’s throat caught. He had no idea how Stephanie knew that, but hearing her say it, he realized it was true.

“Oh, I touched a nerve, did I? You know how I know you did the wrong thing in there? Because
I’m Emily
.”

“What?”

“My father was as cold as ice, and I spent half my life wondering why he didn’t love me. Blaming myself.” Stephanie began to pace back and forth. “I told myself I wasn’t good enough. I told myself if I just studied harder, worked harder, did more chores, he would come around. I had ten years of therapy to figure out it wasn’t me, it was
him
. And still, I’m not over it. I just cope. You can’t undo that damage.”

Mike felt shocked. Stephanie’s emotions were so raw, she was almost spitting, and she whirled around and pointed at his face.

“That’s why I know you did the wrong thing in there. You didn’t let yourself down in that courtroom, you let Emily down. She’s not old enough to tell you that, but I can speak for her. I’m Exhibit A. You just consigned her to a life of feeling not good enough. Of not being worthy. Of not even
trying
to be the best. She’ll settle for second-best because that’s all she believes she deserves. Like
you
.”