Don't Ever Stop: A BDSM Billionaire Romance (19 page)

After speaking to my parents, I’d sent a text message to Patrick.
You’re a friggin hero, RS!
He texted back, and I felt giddy with pride. Fuck Redmond Cooper. Fuck BDSM. Fuck sleazy warehouse meet-ups and limo rides around town. Rose Smith was going places!

The day at work went by in a happy daze. Tegan even bought me a cookie at lunchtime to celebrate, and I, yet again, ignored Richmond’s instructions, eating whatever I wanted. Today it was french fries and potato chips. A pretty terrible combination if I’m honest – way too much greasy potato. In fact, I spent most of the afternoon bent-double at my desk with stomach ache, from all the trash I’d eaten in the last couple of days. Say what you like about Redmond Cooper, but at least the man knew how to put together a healthy food plan.

Anyway, forget Redmond Cooper. Tonight, I was in my bedroom, squeezing into my brand new tiny black dress, spritzing myself with make-up, applying a dark rim of eyeliner around my eyes, and jiggling my ass to ‘Foxy Lady’ on my stereo as I got ready. I’d already checked, and my spring jacket, a lemon yellow waterproof with big lapels, covered my dress perfectly, so my parents wouldn’t be able to see what I was slipping out of the house in. Part of me couldn’t believe that I was actually going to turn up to an Italian restaurant dressed up like this. Patrick’s eyes were going to
pop out of his head
. But I was way too excited about this new confidence I had begun to find in myself to start panicking now.
Foxy lady!

I gave Mom and Dad a quick kiss, and they told me how proud of me they were again, then I stepped out into the balmy evening air, and headed for the subway. I was in such a great mood I’d actually left early. I was going to take my time en route to the restaurant, take in every detail of the journey there, living in the moment, being mindful.

On the way to the subway, my cell began to ring. This was getting to be a habit. Did people sense I’d just left my house or something?

I grabbed my cell and was dismayed to see the name that flashed up. Redmond Cooper. Again. I just don’t know why he wouldn’t get the message.

‘What?’ I answered rattily.

‘Rose,’ he said, ‘is everything okay?’

‘Fine, Redmond,’ I said, enjoying using his first name to him, in such a scathing tone.

‘I’d like to see you, Rose. I want to make sure you’re okay in person.’

‘I bet you do,’ I muttered.

‘What happened between us, Rose–’ (why did he have to keep using my name like that? Was it some kind of power thing? Well, it wasn’t going to work), ‘–what happened between us was very intense. It was life-changing. I understand if you’ve had some mixed emotions since it happened. But I think we need to talk about it in person before you–’

‘Why?’ I spat. ‘So you can feel better about your next screw? So you can talk me round? Continue to have your dirty little way with me, then you can fuck your girlfriend without any pent-up desire to tie me up? So you can use me to let off steam?’ I became aware that I was shouting. Thankfully, the street was quiet and I wasn’t making a scene.

‘Listen. I’m still at the office, working late. Why don’t you come here and talk to me, in private? You can say what you like to me in here. Scream at me if you like. I want to hear what you have to say.’

I kept walking, my heels clacking on the pavement so quickly it felt like I was listening to the explosive pounding of my own heart.’I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I don’t think there’s anything left to say to you…’ I was aware how childish my voice sounded, even as I was saying this. If I was so
over
Redmond Cooper, why was I shaking like this? Why did I feel like my entire body had tensed up, like I was about to jump off a cliff?

‘Come and see me, Rose. Even if it’s just for ten minutes. Let’s talk about this like adults.’

‘Fine,’ I said, before I knew what I was agreeing to. ‘Ten minutes it is. No more than that. I’ve got places I need to be.’ I hung up on him before he had a chance to respond, and I hurried down the subway steps. I checked my watch. Quarter past seven. I had forty-five minutes before I needed to be at the restaurant. The restaurant was just two stops away from my work, so that meant that if I was quick – 
really
quick – I could still get to the restaurant on time.

*

Before walking into Redmond Cooper’s office, I made sure my jacket was on properly, smoothed down to my knees and hiding my dress. That my hair was in place and I looked smart. Even an angry woman needs to look respectable when she’s about to go in for The Big Confrontation.

I knocked at the door.

As I waited for a response, I resisted the urge to run away. What I was about to do now took guts. I was going to face up to the man who had wronged me. The quiet little mouse was going to have her say.

I knocked again.

‘Come in,’ Redmond called, finally. His voice was firm and authoritative. I guessed he knew it must be me, but he didn’t sound nervous about it.

I opened the door and stepped inside. Redmond was sitting at his desk, with a load of files and folders out in front of him. ‘Rose,’ he said, ‘thank you for coming. Please, take a seat.’

His tone of voice reminded me of the first time we had spoken here, when I’d come for my preparatory meeting at Global. How much had changed since then.

I sat on the small black stool I’d sat on during my first visit here, but this time I didn’t feel small. I felt big, and strong. ‘I know about Nisha,’ I said, deciding to put him on the back foot from the off.

He raised his eyebrows and sat up an inch higher, alert. ‘Ah,’ he said. ‘I see.’

‘I’m not going to be part of your sleazy goings on any more.’ I crossed my legs, but, quickly realizing that this act revealed more bare leg than I’d intended it to, I uncrossed them again.

‘I”m sorry you had to find out about Nisha,’ he said. ‘What happened between us was– regrettable.’

‘Excuse me if I lack sympathy,’ I said moodily.

‘I’m guessing that the fact she left work last week was the catalyst for speculation,’ he remarked. I nodded. ‘I don’t know what she’s been saying, but–’

‘She’s been saying you’re a pervert.’

Redmond’s face flushed. ‘Right.’

‘So I’m guessing you tied her up, too.’

He fidgeted, about to say something, but paused. Then he stood up, thrust his hands in his pockets, and began pacing up and down in front of his desk. ‘Rose,’ he began warily. ‘I’m going to tell you what happened. But you must understand that I’m telling you this in confidence, due to our unusual circumstances. I’m not telling you this as your boss, but as a friend.’

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes at the word
friend
.

‘Something happened between Nisha and I,’ he said. ‘About a month ago.’

I didn’t want to hear the sordid details, but I sat there in silence, listening, anyway. At least if I could hear him confessing it, it would give me some kind of closure, or something. Maybe.

‘She was working here for six months. Kept making eyes at me. Staying late at work, making excuses to talk. In the end, she asked me out, and, feeling lonely and flattered, I accepted. We went for drinks at a hotel bar. I know it’s wrong to go on dates with my staff. I promise you, I don’t normally make a habit of it.’

I scowled.

‘Well, Nisha was a fun girl. She made me laugh, and we had a spark. We had a few beers too many, if I’m being honest, and we booked ourselves a hotel room, at her suggestion.’

I braced myself for the
too much information
part of this conversation.

‘In the hotel room, she pushed me up against the door, and began to kiss me. Nisha was– well, let’s just say she was very forward. Quite dominant, in fact. I wasn’t used to being pounced on like that, and to be honest, I didn’t really like it. I stopped her, in the middle of kissing, and told her to
slow down
. That this wasn’t going to work if she was going to take the aggressive approach with me. That, if anything, I was going to have to be the dominant one with her. She looked a little shocked that I’d dared to stop her midway through the act, and asked what I would prefer to do instead.’

I swallowed hard. This was already more than I had wanted to hear.

‘I told her to get down on the floor. To crawl over to the bed on her hands and knees, while I thought about it. And it was that point,’ he blushed furiously, ‘that she smacked me in the face, and walked out of the room, slamming the door and shouting that I was a “pervert”. And that was the end of that. From what I’ve since gathered, there have been all sorts of rumors flying around about me ever since.’

I was breathing heavily, my throat was constricted and my mouth dry. I had wanted to run away during that entire speech, but, now that I’d heard it, I almost felt relieved. Like actually, the truth wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. Well, that’s how part of me felt, anyway. There was another part of me that was still enraged. ‘So you’d fuck her but you wouldn’t fuck me?’ I asked. ‘I thought you weren’t into casual sex.’

‘I’m not,’ he said quickly, taking his hands out of his pockets and holding them high in the air. ‘Not with you, anyway.’

‘Well jeez, you know how to make a gal feel special,’ I retorted with a scoff.

‘I’m serious about you, Rose,’ he said, stepping closer to me. ‘It’s taken me a long time to process what happened between us last week. It made me feel so alive. It felt so good. But achieving your dreams doesn’t come without a great sense of mixed emotions. I’ve been worried about you, wanting to make sure you were okay with it, desperate to do it again, but sitting on my hands, making sure I don’t push you into anything. I’ve been replaying the past couple of weeks in my mind, guiltily wondering if I’ve overstepped the mark as your boss.’

‘Well I think you know you have…’ I said quietly, though I noticed that some of my vitriol had drained away.

‘I want you to know how grateful I am for what you’ve done for me,’ he said. ‘And how much you mean to me.’ He walked back over to his desk, opened a drawer, and took out a small silver object. He held it out to me, and, automatically I took it. A bunch of keys.

‘I know how much you’d like your independence. How hard you find it living with your parents sometimes,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a spare penthouse nearby. It’s just sitting there empty. I’d like you to have it. You can stay there as long as you want.’

I looked at the keys incredulously. ‘You just want to
buy
my favor?’ I said. ‘Just because you’re rich, doesn’t mean you can do that. I’m not an object to be bought!’ I stood up, and let the keys drop onto the carpet. ‘You can forget your fucking
penthouse
.’

‘Come on, Rose,’ he said, grabbing my arm, looking into my eyes, with a mixture of frustration and, even, I thought, anger. ‘Give me a
chance
. I”m doing everything I can here. I’ve got feelings for you. Can’t you see that? You’ve ignored my emails and text messages all week. I practically had to beg you to come here. I’m falling in love with you, and there’s nothing I can–’

‘Love?’ I gasped, the word sounding silly, dropping out of my mouth like that. ‘You’re falling in
love
with me?’

‘Of course I am,’ Redmond said. ‘What do you think this whole thing has been about?’

I looked up at him, at the glare in his eyes, the color in his cheeks, and I saw the blazing fire within him.

‘Oh, Redmond,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry… I…. Fuck, I don’t know about any of this any more…’

‘Just trust me,’ he replied urgently. ‘That’s all I ask.’

‘Trust you?’ I asked. ‘How?’

Now, he straightened up, and loosened his grip on my arm a little. ‘You can start by taking your jacket off,’ he said, in a strange, low voice.

My lips went dry again, and my knees almost buckled, and, with a rush of what can only be described as pure lust, I reached for the belt buckle of my jacket.

I undid the knot at my waist, and let my jacket fall to the floor, revealing my tiny, skimpy black dress to him, my bare skin shining under his office lights.

And now it was Redmond Cooper’s turn to gasp.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

A Dangerous Game

‘Rose,’ Redmond said. ‘What are you wearing?’

‘I… I was on my way to…’

‘To meet someone?’ Redmond asked. ‘Someone else?’

‘Redmond, I… I thought you weren’t interested. I’ve got to get on with my own life. I mean, we haven’t even kissed…’

Redmond winced, letting go of my arm. ‘It hasn’t even been a week and a half since we… you gave up that quickly?’

I thought of Patrick, about the fact he’d be sitting in the restaurant, waiting for me right now. Oh god, I was screwing everything up.

‘Does that mean you haven’t been following my instructions either? The food plans I’ve been emailing to you?’

I bowed my head, and walked toward the window. ‘I was…’ I said. ‘Until two days ago. And then I stopped. I didn’t see the point when–’