Don't Dump The Dog (13 page)

I
received this not long ago, and my heart went out to these folks. It’s always tough when you find a stray dog, and the decision of whether or not to rescue her isn’t made any easier during hard economic times. So here’s my two centsworth on both subjects ...

In terms of what to do if you find a stray dog, remember that your local shelter is already bursting at the seams, and always full. Most cities and towns have a very high kill rate at their shelters, and chances of a stray making it out alive can be slim at best. Skip the shelters. First, keep the pooch safe and secure in your home, in a crate or a spare room. I have used my bathroom plenty of times, and I’ve finally gotten used to being stared at as I drop the kids off at the pool.

Kindness is key: Treat the dog as if it were your own, but keep him separated from your other pets until you’ve had a chance to take him to the veterinarian. At the vet’s you can have him scanned for a microchip, which could solve everything. If your luck is like mine, though, there probably won’t be a microchip. Have the vet give him his basic shots and exam, but tell the doc that he is a stray and maybe he’ll go easy on the price.

Find a Stray Dog’s Guardians

• Place a found-dog ad in the local paper; these ads are usually free. Provide a generic description so when people call, you can ask for a more detailed description of Fido. This helps keep the crazies away, like the creeps who sell animals to laboratories.
  
• Make flyers and post them near the area he was found and at area animal-ish types of places, such as groomers, pet stores, etc.
  
• Surf the Net and post on
  craigslist.com
  and on
  lostandfound.com
  .
  

If you still haven’t found Fido’s guardians and it’s five days (and two bottles of vodka) later, maybe by now the li’l guy has started to grow on you, and you decide to adopt the dog yourself. You just won the Randy Grim Merit Award.

If you throw my merit award in the trash and don’t want to keep Fido, then place him yourself. You can do it. Feel free to go to
www.strayrescue.org
and use our online adoption form. Pretend you are a shelter. Be picky.

Finding a suitable home takes some time, but it helps to network with friends, family, and coworkers. Never place an ad saying “free to a good home,” or the crazies will come a-knocking. Charge the same adoption fee as your local shelter, and in return, the new guardian will get a dog that is vaccinated, microchipped, de-sexed, and given a clean bill of health. You can now go back to the trash can, pull out your crumpled-up Merit Award, and enjoy a martini, for you just made the world a better place.

If you do decide to keep the dog or if you already have a dog but have fallen on hard times, there is a solution, at least with my organization, and I’ll bet many others.

If you’re giving up on your dog because you can’t afford his food and basic care, here are some money-saving tips:

• To save money on food, buy in bulk when on sale. Discount and club stores offer less-expensive products than your grocery store, and dollar stores are now carrying higher-quality brands of dog food, too.
  
• Be a smart shopper; shop around, and use your coupons. If you’re shopping on-line, search for coupon codes and you can save a lot.
  
• Purchase pet health insurance, usually about $20 a month. Many dog insurance policies also cover wellness exams, including the dog’s vaccinations, heartworm tests and meds, fecal tests, and more. You would get what you invested back within a year. Be responsible and make sure your dog sees the vet annually. Wellness exams can prevent something much worse later on. If an unexpected injury or illness occurs, you are covered, and you’ll be kissing your insurance bill for saving your butt.
  
  1. If it is a surgery you can’t afford, ask a rescue group or shelter if they can help; in return, you can step up to the plate and volunteer and/or foster as a way of paying back the debt.
     
  2. Ask to set up a payment plan with your local veterinarian.
     
• Most cities offer assistance programs that spay and neuter for free, or for next to nothing.
  

T
he excuses you’ve read in this book are real; the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Often I am asked, “How do you handle the sadness of rescue and returned dogs?” I usually say, “With vodka and Xanax,” which is my way of staying sane and avoiding suckerpunching the next person who walks in the shelter and says, “I can’t keep my dog because ...”

For over a decade, I have been given every excuse imaginable about why I must take their dog off their hands. The time has come for me to wire my jaws shut from this nauseating meal and to teach people the proper way to care for their dog—a much healthier diet.

Many lame, eye-rolling excuses as well as outright lies are given when someone forces us to take their “beloved” pet, or when families come back and say they need to return the pet they adopted from Stray Rescue. In my experience, about 2 percent of the excuses are understandable to my psyche. It’s the remaining 98 percent that causes everyone at the shelter to experience flu-like symptoms, or to have to fight the urge to go “postal,” and/or break out the booze.

I have endured many uncomfortable close encounters with “dumpers,” my term for these folks. Once the leash is out of their hands, the dumper always scurries out the door like a rodent on a mission for a piece of cheese, seemingly guilt-free and ready to start their new life, companion-animal-free. Left on their own, their former faithful friend now has to adjust to an anxiety-filled life behind bars, a pooch prison, waiting for her third lease on life. Grrrrrr. I hope the dumper’s cheese is spoiled.

There are hundreds of reasons why companion animals are turned in to our nation’s strained shelter system. Most shelters have heard every excuse known to man and dog. The most oft-used reasons range from “We’re moving” or “We’re having a baby” to “My dog is boring” and the ever-common “We don’t want to put up a fence.” (In actuality we did have a dog returned for being lazy. I guess it was my fault; I should have given the dumpers some “doggie uppers” when they adopted.)

The problem starts where problems usually do—at the beginning. Shelter staffs are not trained to provide pet guardians with proper information about training a new dog or puppy, the importance of spaying and neutering their pet, nor solutions to behavioral problems, should they arise after adoption. Likewise, new guardians are not instructed on how to choose the proper dog for their family and lifestyle. Nor do they put much thought into the “purchase” of a new
life
, a new member of the family.

Dogs are often chosen because they are a particular breed—one that’s recently been featured in a popular movie, TV show, or commercial, like a current trendy hairstyle. Another high priority is the color of the dog. If you are a black dog—uh-oh ... your chances of adoption are pretty low. Rarely do prospective adoptive families look for personality traits that are a good match for them, or think about what level of energy is best suited for their lifestyle. Hordes of perfect companions with the most loving and loyal personalities are passed over in favor of those with a high “cuteness” quotient—you know, the Benji factor. Just as beauty in humans is more valued in our society than a great personality and a generous heart, the funny-looking dog, the all-black one, and those with the not-so-perfect bodies (like most of us two-legged beings) are doomed most of the time. I think the voluminous number of those “make me perfect” reality television shows contribute to the problem. It drives me nutty to know that all of this unconditional love is euthanized so effortlessly and with such lack of blame.

Our twenty-first century society increasingly expects all relevant information to be simply handed to us. Maybe we don’t stop to consider what we know versus what we don’t know about our companion animals. Maybe we think we have the innate intelligence to guide us in raising our kids and our dogs. Consequently, when our new pet gets too big, is too energetic, or isn’t playful enough, it’s not our fault. The problem must lie with the pet, so off he goes to the nearest animal shelter. Since most pets are delivered to “humane” shelters, our guilt is somewhat alleviated; after all, it wasn’t
our
fault. It was entirely Fido’s doing. As long as we avoid learning the statistics of how many animals actually make it out of the shelters (only a small percentage get adopted), we can live with the “humane” fantasy we’ve created in order to cope with the reality.

There is a good chance that many of us will “try” again, bringing home another dog, hoping that this time our new pet will be as perfect as the ones from the commercials and the Westminster Dog Show. Unless we take the time to learn patience, along with the basics of dog behavior, and unless we’re willing to give our new companion plenty of time and attention, chances are that our poorly chosen pet will experience a short life.

Research has shown that most animals are relinquished to a shelter because of behavioral issues, which are caused by a variety of contributing factors. One colossal reason is the mass production of puppies in commercial kennels (puppy mills) and the lack of responsible breeding practices by backyard breeders, which lead to numerous health and behavioral issues that many guardians with varying degrees of commitment can’t or won’t handle.

Animals bred and raised in puppy mills are subject to every disease known to man and dog. They are often kept in cramped cages all their young lives without any contact with humans or other dogs, which in turn can do a number on the canine psyche. Their unsuspecting new families often find themselves with a dog who is terrified of open spaces, is incapable of being house-trained in a timely fashion, and who, bewildered by the gigantic humans around him, reacts by being aggressive or by peeing on the floor at the sight of anything over two feet tall. Solution: off to the pound, the dumping ground.

Most people don’t realize what constitutes a puppy mill. In actuality, the term “canine concentration camp” would be more apt. Breeding adult dogs are not given adequate housing, food, exercise, or attention, and usually, little to no medical care. Consequently, they are experiencing hunger, pain, and illness on a daily basis, which naturally causes aggression. Most are unable to properly care for their puppies because their own health is so compromised. Puppies are often weaned away from their mothers and separated from their siblings way too early when sold to brokers. These intermediaries care for the puppies until they are sold to a pet store. This lack of bonding with their mothers and siblings causes many socialization issues that affect the dog (and their adoptive family) later in life.

Plenty of research has shown that this inadequate socialization at a young age leads to a high incidence of dominance-type aggression, as well as fear/defensive aggression. Consequently, these puppy-mill dogs are genetically inferior, both physically and emotionally. Research has also shown that more than fifty genetic diseases can predispose an animal toward aggression/behavioral issues.

Other causes of behavioral issues not related to puppy-mill breeding include chaining or tethering animals for long periods of time, and extended periods of isolation. Animals feel secure when they are part of a pack, and being left alone for twelve hours a day while their “family” pack is at work (and happy hour) is very stressful to companion animals. Likewise, reinforcing unwanted behaviors with attention or inducing fear through violence and threatening mannerisms can result in a dog behaving poorly. Lack of exercise and mental stimulation can also lead to destructive behaviors, as animals have a great deal of energy that needs to be expended daily. (This sounds almost human, doesn’t it?)

Only 12 to 14 percent of dogs are adopted from shelters nationally. The average age of an animal that enters a shelter is between six and eighteen months. Approximately 85 percent of those “in the market” for a pet desire a dog younger than one year old. Older dogs have virtually no chance for adoption; their stay in the shelter is usually a brief interlude before death. Even though the senior dogs are usually the easiest to deal with, they don’t have much hope, as youth usually wins out. The stigma attached to shelter animals is that they are “used goods” and must somehow be defective. It certainly doesn’t help that most are mixed breeds, although purebreds do make up one-quarter of the nation’s shelter population.

More than 27,000 animals are destroyed every day; more than 1,000 are destroyed every hour; and one animal is destroyed every minute of every hour of every day. A very alarming statistic.

Let’s not forget that we are dealing with a
life
here—a new family member who has emotional needs, who feels most secure when part of a “family” pack, and who experiences an array of emotions ranging from pain and loss to joy and depression. As a society, don’t we all consider ourselves highly evolved human beings who respect life, have strong family values, try to feed the hungry and aid the suffering of those less fortunate? The only difference between humans and animals is our native language. Humans and dogs have all the same body parts and functions, along with intelligence and feelings. Experts feel that our four-legged family member is basically the same as a four-year-old child (which I always saw as a plus, but I must be in the minority). Their ability to learn is about the same; they love life and get very energized when good things happen; they eat with gusto, love to be cuddled, and to play and play and play. Although many animal guardians “get it,” way too many don’t. Why is that?

Many good, hardworking people often inherit the mentality that the family dog is basically disposable property—a common trait passed down unconsciously. It’s time for these people to wake up and smell the Milk-Bones.

I could have made this book merely a bitching session, but my bona fide reason to write this book is to give potential “dumpers” a chance at redemption—an opportunity to deal with and solve the problems of their companion animal before burdening their local shelter, already bursting at the seams. It is also a book for us “normal” guardians with problem pooches.

Between us, my hope is that you won’t give up on the one true loyal being in your life, the family dog. You know, man’s best friend? And hopefully, you will be “trained” to do right by your companion animal and will not end up in my next book.