Dominque (Knights to Remember) (24 page)

I
t was late in the afternoon when they found themselves entering the motorway to the North of England. Everyone had drunk a little too much and stayed up late into the night dancing, so an early morning breakfast unsurprisingly didn’t happen. He and Jacob had eaten in their room as they finished packing, and then joined his family for tea before they parted ways.

Already he had dinner dates and a weekend visit planned with Helen and Shaun, and Dominque was looking forward to the birthday celebration for Jacob’s brother Philip in a month’s time. He wasn’t too sure where he would be then, but at least he knew Jacob’s family wanted him to be with them for another special event.

He’d been drowsy as soon as Jacob hit the main roads and fallen asleep, waking to find them closer than he’d expected a couple of hours later and the realisation Jacob would soon be leaving him alone in Leeds really hit home. He watched the road signs counting down the miles to his home city, each one signalling a deeper feeling of dread within him.

What if things changed? What if Jacob got back to London and saw what a fool he’d been by giving him the collar? It was a spur of the moment thing, and once he had some breathing space, perhaps he would see it as a mistake and back off.

“Hey.” Jacob’s gravelly voice woke him up from his thoughts. He caught Dominque’s hand, pulling his fingers away from the collar he was clutching tightly around his throat. “It’s okay. We talked about this happening. You know I'm not leaving tonight. I’ll be with you until tomorrow afternoon. Things will seem better then, and you won't feel so insecure about me leaving your side.”

“Are you worried too?”

“About which part?” Jacob chuckled, kissing his knuckles softly. “About being apart from you? Yes, but only because I've become so used to having you beside me. My life and my bed will be colder without you right there with me. I don’t want this separation any more than you do, but in a way, it will make us stronger. I'm not saying we need space, but I believe it will allow us both to gain some perspective on the situation and to think about things in a more controlled way.”

Dominque laughed. That was one of the most rehearsed speeches Jacob had given, and he sounded like he was speaking more for himself than Dominque. “What perspective do you hope to gain while I'm laid alone in bed and pining for you, Mr Buchanan?”

“Just that perhaps. To hear how you need to be with me.” Jacob smiled as he changed lanes. “I want you with me, but I understand that can't happen right now. Soon, hopefully very soon, you and I will be together in London.”

“I want that too.”

“I worry about you leaving your family home. The house itself plays a large part in your life. Leaving won’t be an easy thing to do, no matter how much you have talked yourself into seeing it as a good thing. It will still hurt when the time comes, and I want to be with you while that happens and support you in any way I can.”

“I’ll miss the house, but it’s not the bricks and mortar which holds my memories. There’s more bad than good there now anyway. I want to leave and take with me just the good times. I’ve mourned over her death for too long, lived with her ghost since she passed. I want to celebrate her life now, and living there, it was like a mausoleum dedicated to the life we used to have. We should have moved out a long time ago.” Dominque looked out of the window and sighed. “If I had, perhaps things could have been different. Very different. Without the big bills, I could have left the agency years ago, perhaps never even started. I always look back at the moment I signed up and see two paths, one which I travelled along and the other which I wish I’d taken.”

“And would they both lead you right here with me?” Jacob touched his cheek gently and Dominque turned to look at him, those green eyes burning into his own with steely determination.

“I don’t know.” Dominque took hold of Jacob’s hand and clung onto it tightly. “I guess not.” He wouldn’t change anything if it meant not meeting this man beside him. It made all the heartache and loneliness which came before him worthwhile.

“Then forgive me for being selfish, but I'm glad you're here.”

“So am I. Everything was worth it because I'm here with you.”

“Everything happens for a reason, right?”

“I guess so.” Dominque kissed him quickly. Despite how much he wanted to be with Jacob, and how confident he sounded about feeling the same way, there was still a huge cloud of doubt hanging over his head. “If you get home and change your mind, then I’ll always be happy with the week we had together, Jacob. Don’t feel bad for setting me free.”

Jacob bit his bottom lip before swiftly changing lanes, making a last minute turn into the service station and stopping the car as soon as he found a secluded space. He turned to Dominque and sighed. “I'm not leaving you, and I have absolutely
no
plans to set you free, Boy. I told you in the castle. You're mine. You were born to be mine. No matter what we have to do to make this work, it will happen because I love you.”

“Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“Damn it, Dominque.” Jacob unbuckled his seat belt before leaning over, grabbing the back of his neck and clashing their mouths together in a passionate kiss. His hands were roaming everywhere, his scent and Dominque’s mixing as they pressed themselves closer, wanting more, needing to show the other how much they desired this to continue. “You're mine,” Jacob growled over his lips. “Don’t ever doubt that, because I won't.”

Dominque wrapped his arms tightly around Jacob’s neck. “I don’t want to fail you.”

“You can't fail me.”

“I want to be worthy of you.”

“Silly creature.” Jacob kissed his lips softly. “Your self-worth has never been dependent on the views of others. Not even mine. Your ‘worth’ is only determined by yourself, for yourself, never for another. I aim to make you believe in yourself and to see those around you are honoured to have you in their lives, me included. Without a price attached to you, you're confused over how people will want you. Believe me, Dominque, when I say the price men have paid for you, you have paid a much higher cost. It will take time to adjust. Just give yourself that time.”

Dominque leaned on him, hiding his face in his neck and just going with what his heart and body craved—to connect with this amazing man, who had somehow, against all the odds, fallen in love with him warts and all. “I still don’t see why you would want me in your life, and I hear and understand everything you say, but I can’t believe it inside. I want to though. I want to feel like I'm someone who should be able to be with you and feel confident about it.”

“You will in time.” Jacob kissed his neck softly, moving up to his earlobe and sucking.

There was a lot they still had to go through, and the sane part of Dominque told him to keep calm and trust Jacob, but the anxiety about him leaving when things got too much was stronger as they returned back to Leeds. That was real life. The castle and the wedding, the whole week away, it had been a dream to Dominque and now he was waking up from it and he could feel the weight of reality pressing on his shoulders.

“Deep breaths, Boy.” Jacob’s arms tightened and Dominque let himself be held captive in the strong grip. “You’re nervous and edgy because you crave more from me than you’re getting. I explained this would happen once you stopped hiding behind the meaningless sex. You’re finding the Dominque who has been lost for a lot of years and the needs which go with that life are fighting to get to the surface. Although I won't ever push you further than I know you are willing to go, I believe we need to set boundaries, to go through the standard list every new Dom/sub relationship would do, but I worry that would be too much for you.”

Dominque knew this would happen eventually. The talks they had over the last few days had been honest and given more insight into what the other enjoyed, but as a couple who wanted to explore these things together, and taking into account Dominque’s past betrayal, it wasn’t as standard as what either of them had experienced before. “Perhaps the next time we meet, you could have something ready for us. We could go over it then, but tonight I want to just be with you, oh, and we have Angelique to consider.”

“Yes, your sister and I need to talk.”

Dominque sat back and shook his head. “This is her first time meeting anyone I’ve dated, and you're not exactly easy going. I don’t want to, erm, frighten her off.” He grinned at Jacob. “Although after you’ve both gotten to know each other, I will be more than happy for you to offer your stern hand in her direction.”

“Let’s hope she’s done some thinking while you’ve been away regarding her behaviour.”

Jacob sounded deadly serious, and Dominque’s soft side made him want to stick up for his sister and do what he’d always done, enabling her to act the way she did. Their mum would never have stood for it and their dad certainly wouldn’t, but Dominque was neither and he had to find some sort of in between ground as a parent and a brother.

A big part of him was looking forward to seeing Angie grow up and change her attitude, but perhaps that would never happen. Maybe he’d let things go too far. He had nothing else left to try, so maybe Jacob’s stern, authoritative way of handling the situation was what he and Angie needed.

“I’ll be polite.” Jacob ran his fingers through Dominque’s hair with a cheeky grin. “At first.”

“You'll be a big shock to her system when we get back. I’ve never dated. Never spoken about anyone. Apart from the job, she’s had me all to herself. I hope this doesn’t make things worse.”

“Can things get any worse?” Jacob raised a brow, obviously already knowing the answer and Dominque shook his head sadly. “Well then, let me see what we can do about the sister.”

Dominque sat back in his seat and nodded, feeling calmer. “I'm okay now. Let’s get back. I think I just need to be home, to see Angelique, introduce you two. I need to see you in our home, to see this is real.”

Jacob started the car up with a chuckle. “You think this is all some dream, huh? I get it. I feel the same way too sometimes. Everything you worry about concerns me in the same way, just not as powerfully, and I have confidence and the knowledge I'm not going anywhere, but yes, I worry you will see this is wrong. Let your fears get in the way of us continuing. The weeks or months we have while you work things out at home will give us both time to realise we’re meant to be together.”

Jacob went silent as he concentrated on re-joining the traffic on the busy motorway, and Dominque laid back in his seat, happy to watch his sexy blond surgeon focus on the task, enjoying how his brow creased and his fingers seemed to tap out a tune on the metal gearstick. He was in a constant state of confusion and desire over him. He felt like he could spend a lifetime being pressed up against him and it wouldn’t be enough.

When they’d settled back into the stream of cars, Dominque asked Jacob more about his younger years, about school, college—his path to being the man he was. Dominque listened intently to the stories, funny and serious. Jacob seemed to know not to ask the questions in return, not wishing to upset Dominque by reliving the obvious pain his mum’s illness caused during his younger years. There wasn’t much fun stuff to recall thinking back, and Dominque fell into a thoughtful silence as they sped toward Leeds.

All his life he’d selflessly dedicated himself to others. Was it too much to ask if he considered a future which made him happy but which could hurt others? He felt guilty over wanting Jacob. Guilt because he knew it meant Angie would be hurt, because their home was going to be sold, but it wasn’t just for Jacob. Dominque had decided before meeting him it was for the best. He hoped Angie saw that too and gave him a break. If she could be happy for him, it would make his life a lot easier.

J
acob followed the robotic voice of the sat nav as Dominque fidgeted beside him. They were close to his house now, and the nerves had hit an all-time high. Jacob understood. Bringing him home was a huge event in both his and his sister’s lives, but what Dominque had planned for their home and for their future was also going to be a big change for his selfish sister to handle. He was sure if she had her way Dominque wouldn’t be allowed to sell the house and he would have to continue to work all hours being an escort to pay for, not only her university fees, but the huge house they were now pulling up outside of.

Jacob slowly brought the car into the large block paved driveway, staring up at the detached mock Tudor style double fronted property. In London you would be looking into the millions for the land and the size of the house. He knew prices dropped considerably in the North, but he was still shocked by the amount of upkeep the place would take, and he felt a little guilty for his conversation a few days ago regarding Dominque being a little flippant with his spending. Jacob was sure on his own salary it would be a struggle to look after, not including a blood-sucking teenage, stroppy sister.

Jacob looked around the well-maintained lawn, taking in how neat and weed free the flower beds were. He knew without a doubt Dominque was no gardener and he doubted the sister would spend time weeding and cutting the lawn. “The garden’s beautiful.” Jacob had no outside space and that’s the way he liked it. No hassle and he wasn’t one for sitting out in the sun and relaxing. “Do you use it often?” He worried maybe Dominque would miss this.

“Not really. The front has always just been for appearance sake, but we use the rear. It’s enclosed and private. I like to read in the shade of the oak tree at the bottom of the garden during the summer.”

Jacob took his hand before leaning over and kissing him. Dominque was shaking with the nerves running through him and Jacob nodded to the house. “Let’s get this introduction over with and you may calm down a little. I can't deal with you shaking like a leaf. It makes me want to do something about it, and that something I'm quite sure wouldn’t be what your sister would enjoy seeing right now.”

Dominque held his breath and seemed to calm a little. “I really hope she likes you,” he said softly as they stood from the car.

“I really don’t care either way, though I know it will make your life easier if she does. But I'm not interested in the little
darling
being my best friend. That’s not the role I intend to play.”

Dominque smirked as Jacob reached for his hand again and tugged him to his side. Though they’d been close for the hours during the drive to Leeds, they'd not had much contact, well, not in the way both of them needed. As they climbed up the five or so steps to the front door, Dominque pulled out his key and paused with it hovering near the lock. “Maybe she won't be here.”

Jacob gave his arse a quick squeeze and a lifted brow as he laughed. His boy was truly scared of his little sister and how she would react. “Please don’t worry. I'm able to deal with a stroppy teenager. There’s nothing she can say which would shock me or make me run for the hills.”

Dominque released a long breath, and then smiled. “It’s like I'm a single parent in a way. I've got baggage and a lot of men don’t want that. I don’t come as a single unit. Where I go, Angie goes too.”

“I understand that.” Jacob kissed him softly on the mouth, holding that firm arse in his hands as he deepened the kiss. “I'm not going anywhere.”

As they began to part, the front door jerked open and both turned to see who Jacob presumed to be his sister staring open-mouthed at them both entangled on the front door step. She looked like Dominque but had longer hair and a slightly finer bone structure. There was no mistaking them for siblings. In fact, they could quite easily pass for twins.

“Angelique I presume?” Jacob offered her a hand, watching as she slammed her mouth shut and gave him a slow once over. “I'm Jacob. Dominque’s boyfriend.” He knew Dominque had spoken to her over the phone the day before and explained about meeting him. So far they’d left the fact he was an ex client out of the information, but seeing the dark look pass over her brown eyes, Jacob sensed she’d guessed the truth.

“Angie, I've missed you.” Dominque stepped up to her and gave her a warm embrace. “You all alone?”

“Yeah,” Angelique answered, still glaring at Jacob over Dominque’s shoulder. “I cleaned up.”

“Do you mean you did, or you talked Suzie into doing it before she left for work?” Dominque chuckled as he slipped from her arms, offering a hand to Jacob and leading him inside.

“I did it all by myself, thank you very much.” Angelique huffed as she slumped against the wall, still looking up and down the entire length of Jacob several times before she met his eyes and tilted her head. “Anyway, I was just leaving, so you guys have the house to yourselves for a few hours. I guess you'll be gone when I get home,
Jason
?”

Jacob smiled widely inside but kept his lips in a well-practised polite smile, not walking into an obvious ploy with his name and keeping things pleasant. “I’ll be spending the night, so we’ll have time to get to know each other a little better. I heard there’s a nice Italian place nearby which you both enjoy. Dominque and I thought we’d book a table for around eight, so if you could be home at seven we can head over there for dinner.” It was so nicely spoken, exactly like he spoke to a patient who was causing a bit of trouble and he wanted them to understand clearly what his plans were and why they should follow them.

She, of course, caught the slight sternness to it. “I made arrangements already, so you two can have fun without me. I'd only get in the way anyway.”

“You wouldn’t.” Dominque quickly stepped to her, offering comfort when he should have allowed her to walk off and consider her stroppy attitude.

“If you're busy, then fine.” Jacob held her confident glare with his own, not backing down until she did what most people do in that situation—she dropped her gaze to her feet and tapped her shoes on the floor. “I suspect you're not busy, and although I would like to get to know you better, I can always wait until we return from the meal for our talk.”

Angelique grabbed her coat from the rack and began walking to the front door. “I dunno if I'm coming back tonight. I’ll see how I feel.”

Dominque sighed heavily. “Angie, I need you home tonight.”

“You haven’t cared for the whole week what I've been up to, so don’t pretend you do now.”

Jacob knew that to be a blatant lie. Dominque had called and texted often, and when he couldn’t speak to Angelique direct, he’d spoken to his friend who was house sitting. “If you can't be trusted to return on time, then you can't be trusted to leave at all.” Jacob flicked the lock on the front door and smiled down at her shocked face. “Your brother needs to talk to you. You will support him and not abandon him to take on this task by himself, as you have with so many other important decisions in your life thus far. Do you understand, young lady?”

“Just who the fuck do you think you are?” She pulled back her shoulders, brown eyes narrowed, lips tight and thin. Jacob had to admire the sheer bolshie attitude she had.

“I'm a friend.” He smiled as he put his hands in his pockets, leaning in so he could whisper to her. “Or your worst enemy. Take your pick.”

“Dominque, I hate this guy.”

“I thought you would.” Dominque laughed, running a hand through his hair. “You're not going out. That’s final. We need to talk. So show Jacob around the house while I make some tea for us all.” He grinned at Jacob then left for the back of the house to the kitchen presumably.

Jacob turned to the striking but moody teenager beside him and smiled. “So, I hear you have a lovely garden out back. Why don’t we start there?”

“I'm not going to show
you
around
our
house.”

“No, I didn’t think you would.”

“I'm not going to talk to you full stop. Don’t think I don’t know what
you
are. You're just some
client
who’s messing with my brother’s head by playing him for a fool and getting freebies when you should be paying for them. I don’t owe you jack shit, and as soon as you go, I'm spending every waking moment convincing Domie that you're bad news. In a week, he won't even be taking your calls.”

Jacob’s first instinct was to take hold of the little bitch and give her a good telling off, but he pulled on the vast reserve of control within him and simply smiled. She cared about Dominque that much was obvious. She worried Jacob was here to take advantage of him. “Right now you're the one who is bad news, and don’t doubt he doesn’t see you for what you are. A controlling, spoilt little girl who requires one hundred percent of his attention or you fear you’ll wither and die.

“I'm not here to harm him, and I appreciate your love and desire to protect him, however, I'm not someone you should concern yourself with. This I intend to prove to you and your brother over time. So, right now, I only ask you stay and at least listen to what Dominque has to say and show me a little respect as you would to any visitor.”

He stood taller and closer, watching her press her back against the wall as he towered over her. “And just for the record, I love your brother more dearly than I have ever loved anything this far in my life. And as he loves you—though for the life of me I fail to see why considering how you’ve treated him lately—this also means I care about you and your wellbeing. I meant it when I said I would be your friend, but I'm not like Dominque or the other people you wind around your little finger by batting those pretty lashes. I'm something very different, little girl, and you'll grow to appreciate that difference over the coming months.”

“I severely doubt I will.” She folded her arms across her chest and tilted her chin up.

“We shall see, little girl.” Jacob copied her stance, looking down his nose at her.

“Yes, we shall,” she huffed before flicking her hair over her shoulders and sauntering off upstairs, leaving Jacob blowing out a deep breath.

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Dominque laughed out as he handed over a cup of tea. “Come through into the sitting room and let her chill out for a bit.”

Jacob leaned down and brushed his lips softly over his. “That didn’t go as I had hoped.”

“Oh, it went better than I'd hoped.” Dominque showed him into a spacious cream room with a comfy, black leather, art Deco inspired sofa. It was aged but well-kept and Jacob knew without asking this room was kept as a shrine to his late mum.

“This is beautifully decorated.”

“It was the last room my mum did before she got too ill to do much. Apart from sprucing up the paintwork, it didn’t need much, so we kept it like it was.” Dominque sat down, watching as Jacob walked around the room, pausing at a picture of who could only have been his mum. “Your mother?”

“Yes.”

“You're very like her, more so than your sister.” He picked up the frame and stared at the elegant brunette, all dressed up in a rust coloured cocktail dress and matching heels, her long hair swept to one side and her large oval eyes smiling at him. “She was very beautiful.”

“She was. It was difficult seeing that beauty being eaten up by the cancer, but I always try to remember her this way, and not as she was when she passed away.”

Jacob placed the frame down and picked up another as he took a sip of tea. This one was of Angelique and their mum. She looked very young. A child. Their mum looked slightly tired, thinner.

“Mum had just been diagnosed there. One of the last photos we have of her.”

“Did Angelique see much of her when she was ill?”

Dominque shook his head. “The last month, mum was in and out of the hospital. Angie stayed with a friend. Mum didn’t want her to visit. She looked…” He paused, body stiffening as he recalled that difficult time. “Very different, as I'm sure you can imagine.”

“I can.” Jacob moved to the sofa, sitting beside him before placing a tender kiss on his head. “Perhaps there is anger there on her part, and also misunderstanding why she was kept away. Has she ever mentioned it?”

“Not for a long time. She used to ask if she could go visit at the hospital, but after the funeral, she clammed up about it. I guess I thought she’d guessed why she wasn’t allowed to go. And if she hadn't, I wasn’t going to fill her mind with those images. It was bad enough I saw it.”