Dominque (Knights to Remember) (15 page)

“Submission for you is so much more than sexual gratification. You need to be quiet. To have your mind stilled, to have nothing but the words of your Dom echoing around you. The only reason for breathing is because you wish to please him. You don’t want to be in control, and for so long you’ve struggled to continue, depriving yourself of this part of you. Soon, very soon I think, you will be unable to control the tension building inside, and you feel it too. This is why I'm here. This is why you’ve let me in after spending so long refusing others.”

Dominque didn’t have to say a word, they both knew what Jacob said was the truth. Yes, the sex helped him in more ways than the money, and the way he forced himself to work to the point of exhaustion because he found peace that way when other options were taken from him. Meditation and yoga helped ease the tension, but sex was always his go to escape. Just a couple of days without it and the pressure was building. The anxiety and the nerves were more noticeable without it. “We don’t have to go without sex, or are you planning on denying me until I break in half?”

“No.” Jacob shook his head. “That’s the last thing I want. I haven't deprived you of anything you’ve asked of me.”

“And if I asked you to fuck me, would you do it?” Dominque tilted his head and pressed his foot against Jacob’s cock. “Would you refuse me?”

“Dominque… even without all the other things happening between us, I would never rush to share that moment with you. This means more to me than a quick fuck. I haven't shared myself this way in a long time, and reading between the lines, I think it’s the same for you too. Sex isn't everything. That's perhaps my first lesson for you to learn.”

“Ugh, I enjoy the sex. I have a high demand for it.”

“No, you have a high need to hide
behind
it, not the sex itself. When was the last time you came like you did for me in the shower this morning?”

Dominque picked at his nails and listened to the soft chuckle from Jacob.

“That long, huh?”

Dominque had never come like that before, but he wasn’t about to make the guy’s head swell even bigger.

Jacob slid closer to him, slipping to his knees in between Dominque’s legs and parting his thighs, making Dominque gasp when his nimble fingers began to unzip his trousers, coaxing him to get stiff by rubbing his cock over his shorts and staring up at him.
“
I’m going to take you places no one else could ever dream of and show you a new world, one you’ll never want to leave.”

Dominque stopped breathing as Jacob, the man he desired like no other, a strong dominant man kneeling for him, kissing his cock, slipping his mouth over his length, watching Dominque fall apart above him, controlling him and enjoying every second of it. There was something so powerful about seeing Jacob kneel for him, and even having his cock in his mouth didn’t take any of that control or dominance away from him. This was what Dominque needed. What he craved. What he couldn't live without.

“Sir… please.”

Jacob growled around his cock, pausing for a moment, then taking him to the back of his throat, swallowing him as he fucked his mouth over Dominque’s stiff length.

“Fuck!” Dominque shouted out as he came, lifting his hips and keeping Jacob’s throat on him while he shot his second load.

Jacob pulled off him, saliva and cum around his lips, a look of pure authority somehow making it onto his face as he wiped his chin with the back of his hand. “You called me sir. You remember my warning about that?”

Dominque nodded slowly, watching Jacob rise to his feet, six feet two of towering muscles and power looming over his desperate body.

“I don’t appreciate curse words while I'm pleasuring you. As you didn’t know that particular pet hate of mine, I’ll be lenient… this time.” He stood back, offering Dominque his hand, gently helping him up and leading him to the bed where he sat on it, his cock so hard in his jeans the material was stretched over his length. He pulled Dominque over his knee, exposing his arse in the air, cock swaying in between both of their thighs. “Now. First things first. Tell me your safeword.”

Dominque paused. He did have one when he used to play years ago, but he’d stopped believing in them. “I don’t need one.”

“
I
need one.”

Dominque laid his head down on the mattress, taking a deep breath. “I don’t have one.”

“Then we’ll think of one together.”

“I won't use it.”

“I don’t intend to make you use it, Dominque, but you will have one all the same as a precaution. Not one of my subs have ever needed to use it, but it’s a rule. Not just for you and me, but everyone. Pick one or I’ll give you one myself.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dominque hissed out, getting angry.

“It matters to me.”

Dominque was over the whole thing and he tried to shift off Jacob’s lap. “Let me go.”

“Not just yet. I’m not finished with you.”

“I'm finished. Surely saying no is enough to make this end, or will you ignore me, thinking I'm playing a game?” Dominque stood up, quickly pulling his trousers back over his hips, and making sure his cock was back in his shorts before turning to scowl at Jacob.

“I won't ever ignore what you want, Dominque.”

“I won't use a safeword with you. I won't use one with anyone. I won't put myself in a position where I will use it.”

“Without discussing your boundaries together, it’s needed. I don’t know your limits, Dominque, and you don’t know mine. I’ve never met a sub who refused to have a safeword before.”

Dominque was getting angrier with every passing moment, almost burning up with the rage inside him. “Stop it.”

“Why won't you use one?”

“I said stop!” Dominque stepped back, holding his hands tightly in fists by his side.

Jacob was ignoring him, pushing when Dominque needed him to back off. “Tell me why.” He was up, walking to him when all he needed was space.

“You don’t listen. What good would a safeword be when you can't even understand no and stop?”

“Tell me, Dominque.”

“It doesn’t make any difference! Not to you, not to anyone. It doesn’t stop anything.”

“Tell me, Dominque.” Jacob was beside him, holding his arms and gently using his silken voice to calm him down, but all it did was wind him up.

“Let go of me.”

“Tell me, Dominque.”

“You're not listening! Just like he didn’t. You're all the same.” Dominque struggled against Jacob’s strong hold, tears falling from his eyes, venom in his voice as he fought to get free. “It doesn’t matter. He didn’t listen. He didn’t stop.” Dominque sobbed, his body giving out as he felt the wave of pain fill him, the memories, the anger, the fear—it overwhelmed him and he allowed Jacob to bring him into his arms, holding him as he wept. “He didn’t listen. When I used it… he didn’t listen. He didn’t stop.”

Jacob stood back, looking into Dominque’s eyes. “He ignored your safeword.”

It wasn’t a question, just a stark reality which he now understood. The cardinal rule. The failsafe option which every sub should be able to rely on and one which every Dom should respect without question.

“Yes.” Dominque pushed Jacob from him, turning away and taking a breath. “Now you know how broken I am. You should leave, Jacob. You deserve a sub who can actually submit to you. You deserve better.”

Jacob spun him around, glaring angrily into his eyes. “I told you, I'm never letting you go, Dominque. You're mine. Like it or not, we’re in this together.” He ground his teeth together and looked out of the window behind Dominque. “If I ever find out who hurt you…” He stiffened against Dominque, every inch of him filling with a rage Dominque didn’t know lived within him.

“Don’t. I need you to let it go.”

Jacob spun back to Dominque, shaking with anger before he released him and paced the room. “How could he ignore your safeword? I hope to God that club you went to made damn sure he was blacklisted everywhere.”

Dominque looked at his toes curling in the carpet. “It didn’t happen at the club.” He paused, and then sighed heavily. “It was a client. A client I’d been with a few times. One I thought I could trust. He wasn’t trained, he was a wannabe Dom who took things too far.”

“Don’t sympathise with him.”

“I'm not, and I'm not making excuses for him. It was my fault, Jacob. It should never have happened.”

“It’s not your fault,” he hissed out through his clenched jaw. “What did he do to you?”

Dominque glanced up through dropped lids and sighed, eventually slipping his trousers and shorts down to his thighs and turning around, running his finger over the faint, white scars which started underneath his left cheek and following them to his thigh. A flogger. An evil one. One with strands so thin they cut through him like wire. He had other marks, not as obvious, but if you looked close enough, you’d notice them. The one on his leg was the most pronounced, the one which took so long to heal.

“It happened so quickly.” Dominque flinched as Jacob ran his finger down the scars. He counted six strokes of his finger before he removed them.

“Dominque… I'm so sorry.” Jacob cradled him gently. “I had to push you. I had to know, and you had to let it out. We can't move on until we talk about this.”

“I know,” Dominque whispered into his chest.

“Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Dominque closed his eyes, breathing in Jacob’s scent and wrapping his arms around his neck.

“A true Dom should never leave an emotional scar behind. Nothing except the memory of the connection and feelings from the scene evoked in the sub should remain, leaving them with the urge and need to feel it again. Physical scars sometimes happen, but never, ever should there be a lasting emotional or physical scar. Not by my hands or my will shall I ever hurt you, Boy.”

He believed Jacob, and for the first time in a long time, he knew he’d turned a corner. He just hoped he wouldn’t be hiding back there any time soon.

J
acob spent two hours in the gym reducing his anger and wearing himself out before he took a sauna and chilled a little. Going back to Dominque in a worked up state wasn’t going to help anything, and despite how much Jacob wanted to find the fucker who hurt him, there was nothing he could do except comfort Dominque and be there for him when he needed him.

He’d returned to their room, finding Dominque still sleeping. He quickly shed his clothes, joining him, curling up behind him and holding him tightly. They woke just in time for dinner. Rushing around and getting dressed took up the much needed time to talk and, before he knew it, they were stuck in the middle of another family meal.

“He’s bound to be quiet after our little talk earlier,” his ma discretely whispered to him. “He’s got an old head on those young shoulders. Older than anyone his age should have.” They both watched Dominque chatting with Helen and a couple of his other sisters by the fireside. “I hope you’ve got enough time and willingness to dedicate yourself to him like he needs.”

“It’s early days. Right now, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I know what I want, but what a person wants and what he gets are two very different things. I believe you told me that years ago when I wanted some flashy new push bike.”

She laughed into her tea cup. “See, this is why you and I get along so well. You listen and learn. You never forget my lessons.” She sat back in her seat, lifting her feet onto a buffet. “Your da was the same as you. Worked his fingers to the bone all hours God sent. We had so little when we got married and started our family that when he eventually got a bit in his back pocket saved, he was so afraid of going back to the way we were he couldn't stop. Looking back, I’d rather have had him at home and no money than having lots and going without him. Time is so short, Jacob. Even at my age, I look back and see you all as babes in my arms and wonder where the years have gone. You have plans, dreams, but somehow the year passes by and then the next—twenty years even and you still haven't found the time to fulfil your dreams.”

“You're not dead yet. Time to tick some off your list.”

“Too old.” She smiled up at him. “My happiness comes from seeing you all settled and happy. You’re the last of my brood to find someone, and without pushing you on to just anyone, I think Dominque is special. Don’t lose him by allowing him to feel forgotten. He deserves to be looked after for a change. I know inside you there’s a caring streak. You just need the right person to use it on.”

“I care for him, but things aren’t as simple as I would like them to be.”

“Hell, if life were simple, we’d all be bored to death within a year. Simple!” She huffed. “The only simple thing is
you
. Wanting something to be easy when you know it won't be.”

“Something has to give. I know that. I spend too much time at work hiding. I hate my time at home alone, so I make sure I don’t have any. If I had someone to share that time with, I would be more willing to stop pushing myself at work.”

“Life has a way of working out. You can't plan everything. You think you can, but then shit happens and cocks everything up. Just go with it. Let him lead the way. You’re willing to adjust for him, that’s the most important thing.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, you know. You’ve always feared I’d be alone, but I’ve always wanted to be alone.”

“Until now.” She sipped her tea, looking at Dominque laughing with Helen. “I don’t know what he does for a living, and you’ve both been quite coy about it, so I'm thinking it’s something you feel you need to hide from me, but he looks lovelier than those skinny boys Helen uses for her shows. Maybe he should do that.”

“I'm not about to suggest he changes his life. That’s up to him. I can… gently encourage him to think about it. He’d be more inclined to spend time with her behind the scenes with the clothes, not on the catwalk showing them off.”

“He looks worn out, bless him. Take him up to bed for an early night. No hanky panky. Let him sleep.”

Jacob would have blushed if he wasn’t used to that sort of talk from his ma. “We’re not partaking in any hanky panky right now, which is why I wanted separate rooms, but Helen just presumed, so here we are.”

His ma chuckled, almost spilling her tea over the rim of her cup. “Well, I can't think of a more romantic spot for a first time to happen. What’s wrong with you? Something up with him I don’t know about?”

“No. He’s perfect. That’s the problem.” Jacob stood up, leaning over her and kissing her cheek. “Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.” Jacob kissed a few of his sisters goodnight before he got to Helen and Dominque. “Ready for bed?”

“Yes,” Dominque replied, yawning half way through. “Sorry.” He smiled at Helen then kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you soon.” He rubbed her baby belly then kissed it too. “Bye, baby Louise. Don’t keep your mummy up all night kicking like last night.”

“Huh, she won't listen. As soon as I lay down, she starts.”

“Get used to it.” Jacob chuckled as he kissed her. “The late nights start here and, from what I hear, you're stuck with them for five years.”

Dominque walked in front of him as they made their way to the lift, which was a sure sign he was still uncomfortable from their conversation earlier. Jacob allowed him that space when they got to their room, keeping back while Dominque showered and changed into his shorts and T-shirt before doing the same. He was in bed when Jacob came out of the bathroom, laid right on the edge of the mattress, curled up into a ball with his back to Jacob’s side of the bed. They came to bed separately yesterday and missed out on the awkward lying in bed and not knowing what to do thing.

Jacob settled himself, leaving a foot of space between them both and lay on his back, looking up at the roof of the four poster bed. Sometime later, he felt Dominque turn over and glanced at his big eyes shining in the dim light of the moon and smiled. “Can't sleep either?”

“No,” Dominque whispered.

“I'm sorry things are so uncomfortable. I know you need space. Maybe I should go—”

“No,” Dominque interrupted him quickly, moving closer and lying right beside him. “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t mean to push you away.” He placed a soft kiss on Jacob’s shoulder before placing himself another inch closer, pressing up against him. “You say you want me so much, but you hold back. It doesn’t have to be this way with sex.”

“I don’t have sex. Not this way.”

Dominque raised his head and looked into his eyes. “You’ve never been with anyone outside the club?”

“I told you, not for a long time. Not since I discovered my true tastes anyway.”

“But…” Dominque bit his bottom lip while he thought. “You say you don’t want that life full-time, so isn't this like me moving back into the heavier stuff? You move more into my world and me back into yours?”

Jacob smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind Dominque’s ear. “Yes, but…” He sighed heavily. “There’s still the fact I'm paying you to be with me. It feels… wrong.”

“It’s not wrong. I want you. You know I do.”

Jacob wasn’t going to be moved easily on this issue. In some way he felt he was using Dominque, taking advantage of him. “I can never be truly confident you want to be here unless you’ve chosen to be here.”

“I did choose. I didn’t have to come.” Dominque lay back, playing with the edge of the duvet for a few moments. “If there was no money being exchanged, would you say yes to me?”

“I don’t know. Not tonight.”

“What if I wanted to please you in some other way?”

Jacob closed his eyes, thinking, or trying
not
to think, of all the ways Dominque could please him, his cock rising against his better judgement. “When this ‘date’ is over, when we go back to our real lives, what’s your plan for us continuing?”

Dominque slid his hand under the duvet, resting it on Jacob’s chest, toying with the light hairs which covered it. “I don’t know. I guess I thought we’d deal with it later. Do you want to take me to your club, or mine?”

“I don’t think you're ready for that. I was thinking more at home. My place as I don’t have a younger sister to think of. Or a hotel I guess near you to save on travelling.” Jacob was frustrated. He liked things to be laid out and easily understandable, but nothing about this situation was like that. “When do you plan on leaving the agency?”

“A couple of months. That way Angie will be out of school and able to use her trust fund to pay for university. If she gets her act together and passes her final exams, that is.”

“I’ll have words.” Jacob smiled at Dominque’s impish grin.

“This feels all wrong taking your money. I don’t like it.”

“Think of it as a benefit to us being able to see each other in the future.”

“I don’t want to take anything from anyone for free.”

Jacob stiffened beside him. “And so you offer me sex in re-payment?”

“No.” Dominque removed his hand and slid away. “That’s not why I came on to you. Can't I need you?” His lids dropped and he smiled sexily at Jacob. “I haven't done this in a long time, actually…” He lifted his head back and smiled. “I've never done this before. Never had to. You're the first man I've actually had to work hard to get in bed. The first one I really ever wanted in my bed. I've played in the clubs, but never in this way. Never sexually. Not… penetrative anyway.”

Jacob enjoyed he was the first man Dominque had really ever given himself to, but then another, more worrying thought entered his mind. “You were young when you took on this job, and you say you’ve never given yourself to anyone… Were you a virgin when you became an escort?”

Dominque widened his eyes, mouth falling open a little. Considering what he did for a living, he had a cute shyness which ran through him. “Well… anally… yes.”

Jacob didn’t like that one bit and it must have showed because Dominque fidgeted beside him.

“It wasn’t with a client… I told another guy who worked there. We had mentors… he took his time. He was nice. He introduced me to toys.” Dominque grinned. “I discovered more by myself than I ever did with someone.”

That was a little better, but still… “You were only with him as training? As a way of making sure when the time came you weren’t hurt?”

“Yes.” Dominque sighed heavily. “I’d not met anyone who I wanted to be with that way.”

“Have you ever?”

“Not until you. Not until we got to know each other on the way up here. When you said no sex, I prepared myself for that, but even before yesterday, I knew I wanted more. I don’t want to be an escort to you.”

“You’re not, you're much more.”

“I know, but… that's what I am. That's why you won't trust me to know what I want.”

“That's not the only reason and you know it. You’ve had an emotional afternoon. You hide behind sex, and I don’t want to enable you to continue that in any way.”

Dominque huffed, quickly moving from him and taking up the position Jacob found him in when he first got into bed. He was acting out and it amused Jacob to see the petulant child in him coming to the surface. He was spoilt in this way, so used to men reacting instantly and not waiting for the attention he craved.

“You’re such a pain in the arse, Dominque.” Jacob rolled over to him, pulling him backwards and smiling down at him as he hovered above. “I can't wait until these kid gloves come off and I can show you how I really feel about this sullen behaviour of yours.”

“And what would you do right now if you could?” Dominque shifted closer, causing Jacob’s cock to press into his thigh, those dark eyes, tempting him to move closer, to touch and take, to own. “If I were yours, what would you do?”

“You
are
mine,” Jacob said softly, tracing his jaw and watching Dominque’s pupils fill out. “You like hearing those words come from me, don’t you? You like being mine, but you don’t believe it yet, do you?”

“Show me.” Dominque rolled his hips into Jacob, biting his collarbone before licking the tender flesh. “Show me I'm yours.”

“Dominque…” Jacob laughed loudly. “If you knew me, really knew me, if you could see how I was with others, you would understand just how different I am with you. There’s nothing like this with the other men I spend my time with. I may show them care after our scene finished, but to be this way and not have played beforehand…

“Sentiment was never important to me, but now I see it was the men before you who weren’t important. I could never share even a small portion of my heart with them, but with you… I'm willing to hand over the whole thing. Willing is perhaps the wrong word. You claimed my heart, stole it while I was too stubborn to see what was happening. You know why I'm so sure you're mine, Dominque? Because I'm yours. Every bit of me. I have been since we first met. Don’t question how or why, just trust I'm your slave to command.”