Dizzy Dilemmas (4 page)

“Yes, I think you are right.
No! I know you are right! Otherwise I am in danger of bringing shame down on the family name by doing something totally shocking in front of the ladies of the ton,” she told him.

“
Such as?” he asked.

“Oh I don’t know!
Tell Lady Periwinkle one of your rude jokes perhaps,” she replied.

“You don
’t know any of my rude jokes!” he was quick to point out.

“That is what you think!” she answered with a little smile. “You tell them to Gab
riel over the port after dinner and the footmen are not deaf you know! They pass them on to the maids and we bribe the maids to pass them onto us!” she shrugged. “I am not sure we get to hear the really rude ones but definitely ones risqué enough for Mrs Periwinkle to have palpitations!”

“Is there nothing sacred? A man should be able to have a private conversation with his fellow males without it reaching the ears of his sisters!”
Gideon exclaimed.

“And g
randmothers!” Dizzy added.

“No!”

“Yes!”

Gideon placed his head in his hands. “What is the world coming to?”

“I wouldn’t worry. Grandmamma has a repertoire of jokes as course as yours, probably worse,” she informed him.

“Surely she doesn’t tell them to you?” Gideon asked incredulously.

“Oh no of course not; she tells them mainly to Colonel Thwaites but never remembers to lower her voice.  She is a bit like you and the footmen in that respect. She thinks we cannot hear her.”   

Dizzy laughed as he raised his eyes to heaven and a companionable silence then followed for a few moments while Gideon tucked into a second helping of breakfast. Then glancing at his sister he said, “Going back to my original question before we became side-tracked, what are your plans for today?”

“
Actually I have been meaning to talk to you about that. Mrs Honey Dew is accompanying us to the British Museum this afternoon and then we are off to Gunter’s for ices. We think you should come along,” Dizzy stated.

“Who do you mean ‘we’?”

“Gabriel and Genevieve,” Dizzy named the twins who were two years her senior. “Georgiana is coming over to join us as well,” she continued.

Georgiana came between Gideon and the twins and being a wealthy, young widow had her own residence across the square. This suited her perfectly as she had her independence
, but family support was just a short stroll across the gated garden which was reserved for the use of the residents,

“Oh and Mrs Honey Dew obviously. It is to be a real family outing so please say you will come,”

She
concluded.

Gideon
looked sceptical. “The thing is…” he began but Dizzy jumped in, pleading.

“Oh go on Gideon. It will be fun all of us together, you’ll see!
It has been an age since we had a family outing, all of us together.”

Sighing in resignation, Gideon said, “Very well.
I can forgo my trip to Gentleman Jackson’s just this once for the sake of continued family cordiality.”

By one thirty th
at afternoon, the five siblings and Mrs Honey Dew were in the carriage trundling along to the British Museum. It was a trifle squashed with six of them in there but nobody seemed to object much as they discussed the various exhibits they were all interested in seeing.

“The
Elgin marbles are a must. With all the attention they have received in the press I am expecting something amazing. They can tell us so much about the civilizations of the past,” stated Genevieve, a great lover of the classics and a leading authority on the subject amongst the bluestocking circle to which she belonged.

“Yes,” replied
Gabriel, “but should they not have been left where they belong on the Parthenon in Athens, Greece?”

“They were being left open to the elements and were in danger of being destroyed. What a t
ravesty that would have been.” she retorted.

“Surely more could have been done to protect them in situ? How much more they could tell us if only seen where they were originally placed? Have we not performed an act of vandalism in removing them?” Gideon joined in the conversation.

“Opinion is very much divided on that subject.” Dizzy added. “I was reading a debate in the Times this very morning about it and I must say I can understand both points of view. Steps did need to be taken to preserve them for future generations but I also believe that we have acted with no small degree of arrogance in removing them from their place of origin. Perhaps as Gideon says we should have done more to help and support the Greeks in protecting what is, when all is said and done, their national treasures and not ours.”

.
“Perhaps in the future they may be returned to their rightful home and preserved accordingly,” Said Georgiana “but I am glad I have this opportunity to see them today and feel we are fortunate to be able to do so.”

“And on that note
dear, I see we have arrived,” Mrs Honey Dew said drawing everyone’s attention to the fact that the carriage had indeed stopped and the groom was lowering the step and was preparing to open the door for them. “Whatever one’s views on the politics of the marbles, we can all appreciate their beauty and the artistry of them. So are we all decided? Shall we find them first?”

Everyone readily agreed.

“Then can we find the Egyptian room?” Dizzy asked. “For I am all agog to see the mummies!” and there followed a lively debate on the order of exhibits to be seen that day as everyone made their way inside.

The
British Museum was a light, spacious and airy building, thus exhibiting its artefacts to the best possible advantage. It had once been the home of the Montagu family but had been purchased in the middle of the last century to house the collection of Sir Hans Sloane; an Irish physician who bequeathed his extensive collection of curiosities including books, prints, natural history specimens, paintings and statues of Ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt, to the Nation. Over the years the collection had been added to and broadened, to the extent that there were measures afoot to extend the building to accommodate it. Initial plans held ambitions of a neo-classical structure, impressive in its ostentations; a very visible declaration of grandeur as befitting the British Empire. 

Upon entering the museum the
Brockton family were greeted by a jovial guide who offered to escort them to the marbles which were, owing to their importance, exhibited in their own gallery. Whilst leading the way he related poignant information and historical facts; happy to answer any queries and even desirous to launch with glee into the moral debate of London verses Athens as their place of residence.

“Well, well, my Lords and Ladies. Here we are. No doubt you will want to wander at your own pace so I sha
ll just remain here by the door in case you have any questions. Please do not hesitate to ask for it shall be no trouble. No trouble at all.”

Of all the siblings, Genevieve had the greatest love of the classics and history in general and therefore it surprised no-one when she immediately pounced on his words, saying,

“Oh it would be wonderful if you could accompany me. No doubt you can identify the figures and explain the relevance of the scenes.”

“It will be my pleasure, my Lady. If we start this end…” beaming with delight he led Genevieve off, his voice fading as they moved away
but continuous as he spoke knowledgeably about the artefacts.

“I believe we have lost Genevieve for the next few hours and the museum has lost its guide. They are so enthralled in their subject that I cannot see either of them being distracted by anything
,” Gabriel announced, used to his twin’s single mindedness when it came to something that attracted her attention. He was just glad he was not expected to answer her questions for he knew he would be a sad let down. Unlike his sister, the classical civilizations held no appeal to him in the least and he had only agreed to come on this outing because it was always amusing when he was out with his siblings and a good time was usually to be had by all.

“I know it is not your thing, Gabe, but they are quite spectacular are they not?” Georgiana asked peering at a section of the marbles that revealed rather more than society deemed decent of young male and female bodies.

Gabriel eyed the naked breasts of one particular figure appreciatively before his attention was caught by the rapt gaze of his youngest sister on the all too perfect anatomy of a young Greek man. “Dizzy, I think you should avert your eyes.”

“Not likely!” she snorted, “
I am enjoying the view! Besides, George is here next to me. Why are you not telling her to look away?”

“Because she has been married and you haven’t, obviously!” He retorted.

“Then I would argue,” Dizzy answered, all the while her attention on the marble carving in front of her, “that George does not need to look for she has seen the real thing. I on the other hand, must study to make up for the deficit in my knowledge of the male form.”

“
My experience is limited though,” Georgiana stated, tilting her head to get a better view.

“Is it a good representation of the male body, would you say, Georgy?” Dizzy asked, also tilting her head as she had seen her sister do.

“It is definitely a fine specimen,” Georgiana answered, a smile of appreciation lighting up her face and bringing a sparkle to her cornflower blue eyes.

“Is this then what I am to expect when and if I ever marry?” Dizzy asked, her air of innocence somewhat undermined by the mischievous glance she threw at her brother. 

“Oh for God’s sake, will you two stop it!” he broke in. “You are making me squirm with embarrassment and more to the point, making me feel inferior! No man, even a handsome, debonair, Corinthian such as myself could compete with that!” he gestured emphatically with his hands then folded his arms  and struck a defiant pose as his sisters laughed out loud at his outraged countenance.

“No end of my friends would compare you to these marble figures and find in your favour, Gabriel so you do not need to wo
rry:  your manliness is assured,” Dizzy consoled him by patting him on his arm but he just raised a well-defined eyebrow and said.

“All the same, one must query the sense in letting young, impressionable females see these nude bodies. Whatever Grandmamma would say if she
knew you were here studying them so minutely, I do not dare to guess!”

“Actually, she came last week,
” said Mrs Honey Dew; strolling over to them. “It is on her suggestion that we came today!”

“Isn’t it also true, Mrs Honey Dew, that she was reprimanded by the guide for touching the marbles?” Georgiana added.

“Yes I heard that!” Dizzy jumped in excitedly, “I heard she ran her hand intimately over it’s…”

“No need to finish that sentence, my
dear,” interrupted Mrs Honey Dew. “I am sure the picture painted in our mind’s eye is all too clear already!”

“Don’t tell me anything more, I beg of you! Leave me with some semblance that my Grandmother is like other old ladies and is decorous.” Gabriel shook his head and raised his hand as if to ward off any other enlightening comments about his elderly relative.

“Please take pity on your poor brother for I am sure he is quite shocked,” Mrs Honey Dew spoke to both girls but then ruined the whole caring nuance by adding, “Though I am surprised he has this rather rose tinted view of the Dowager Countess having lived under the same roof as her for much of his life. But if you are happy with your delusions then who am I to gainsay thee? Just don’t let her catch you painting her in such a staid and conventional light, my lad, else she will hang you out to dry by your ears and make no mistake,” she added as a warning.

“Or other parts, brother dear
,” murmured Georgiana and then at her brother’s puzzled frown clarified it by saying; “She may hang you out to dry by other parts and not your ears!”

“Enough! I am walking away whilst I am still left with a measure of sanity. Do you care to join me Mrs Honey Dew on a tour of the rest of these marbles and then perhaps we could sneak off for some tea and cake.
They do serve tea and cake don’t they for I must say I am getting rather peckish?”

As they walked away, Georgiana and Dizzy looked at one another and grinned. “Now we have chased him
away we can have a good look in peace,” Georgiana stated and together they moved along the artefacts, happily discussing them and comparing the figures.

Strolling down the centre of the room some twenty minutes later, Georgiana was surprised to be stopped in her tracks by her sister grabbing her arm in a vice like grip.
She turned an enquiring look upon her but perceiving her attention to be locked onto some object further along the room she quickly followed her gaze and spied three people just entering the exhibition hall.

“O
h no! Quick lets go another way,” Dizzy said, surreptitiously pulling on her sister’s arm.

“What on earth is the matter?
Who are those people? Why do you need to avoid them?” Georgiana refused to move until at least one of her questions was answered.