Divinity: The Gathering: Book One (13 page)

“Hey heads up, China wants to set up happy hour for us tonight.” I warned him.

He chuckled, “I figured as much, but I’m not gonna give you guys too much access to get wasted or anything, and as long as there is a designated driver in y’all’s group—I’ll see what I can do. A little cocktail for you might do you some good ‘cause you look like you’ve really needed some serious sleep lately, no offense.” He smiled. I sighed. The mention of the word sleep began to take its toll on me, and suddenly I could only envision my bed and pillow calling out to me in my mind.

“None taken but it’s easier said than done though. China already scolded me about all that. The thing is, the hospice called, needing me to come in early t
oday, and I wasn’t even thinking about it before I told her yes I’d be there so I won’t get the chance to go with them tonight anyway.” I told him.

“Just tell her you’ll take a rain check then. How’s that going anyway?” He then asked. “Again…easier said than done especially when it comes to China, but I’ll consider that approach.” I sighed and leaned back in the booth chair, feeling truly relaxed more so than
I had ever been in a long time, “The volunteering is great. I actually find being there therapeutic, does that sound weird?” I replied and then asked.

He shook his head no,
“No; it sounds selfless and noble and if that relaxes you then I’m all for it.” He said.

“It does,” I affirmed with a smile.

“Well, the guys planned some road trip next wee
kend, but I’m not sure if I’m gonna go,” He then said.

Joel roomed with three other guys at his apartment. He was an architectural engineering m
ajor, and he definitely had the brains for it. I think that was the main part of him that attracted me initially. He was good-looking and smart, and his sense of humor and compassion were additional major pluses for him. He worked part-time as a waiter at his Aunt's sushi bar and steakhouse, Zen to Five. It was one of mine and China’s favorite eateries since we never had to show ID’s for Sake.

Joel was a hard-worker and would be the pe
rfect guy for any girl, but I had way too many issues that wouldn’t be fair to dump on a guy like him and make him deal with. Besides, he had plenty of interested females after him all the time, though I often wondered why he didn’t seem exclusive or just picked one of them.  I knew he wasn’t waiting for me; we made that clear already…I hoped.

“Why not? You just gave me a speech about R and R, and it sounds like a good weekend.” I then said.

He shook his head, “Nah; I got way too much to do. I’m already behind on two papers, and my aunt needs me to work all week at the restaurant. There’s several big parties booked on Saturday alone.” He then said.

“Oh, well I can understand that. I’ve got a lot to do too.” I replied. That was bull, past a few papers— I truthfully had nothing exciting or important to do.

“We should make a point to get together one night and see a movie or something then. I think we’re the last two people on campus who don’t seem to have enough sense to get out and enjoy ourselves once in a while.” He then commented.

I laughed, “Are you saying I’m a bore with no life?” I asked.

“Yes.” He chuckled.

I playfully kicked him under the table.

He dodged me and laughed, holding his palms up in surrender, “I am too.” He pleaded.

“Okay, so what, like next Saturday night?” I then asked.

He thought for a moment.

“How about this Sunday instead? I’ll be working all next weekend. I’ll even order take out or something.” He offered.

“Sunday? On a school night?” I jokingly eyed him.

He laughed, “Girl please, quit acting like you have to check your calendar. How late you plan on staying over?” He waggled a brow and grinned mischievou
sly.

I laughed and feigned being insulted, “Actually I do and it all depends.” I began.

He looked at me questioningly with a smirk, “On what?” He asked.

I smiled, “A grilled steak bento box from your aunt’s restaurant, and you have a date.” I then said.

Though a flit of disappointment briefly flashed across his eyes he smiled in agreement, “It’s on then.” He said.

“And I get to pick the movie.” I then pointed.

He laughed, “Little control freak. I forget sometimes, damn. Okay, well since I already know you aren’t into sappy chick flicks, fair enough.” He winked.

I shook my head with a half-smile.

Breakfast was good, both the company and the food. I picked up two new CD’s that we listened to on the way back to the University— Adele and old-school Sade.

Iron gray clouds began to loom, in the di
stance, coming in from the south and were highlighted by bluish veins of lightning every few minutes. The cool wind was picking up, and the smell of damp earth lingered in the air.

I hated random thunderstorms, especially b
eing out in it but this was the fall for you. It was going on one forty eight, and I had just enough time to try to catch a quick hour-long nap before heading out to the hospice at three thirty. The crash was coming, and it was going to hit hard; I could feel it. The closer I got to my apartment and imagined my comfy bed, the more it began to weigh heavily on me physically.

China was busy in the kitchen preparing her tuna casserole lunch when I walked in, and as always, her infamous scented candles had been lit, masking our apartment in a sea mist aroma that actually made the entire room smell like the beach at sunset.

“Hey, I was wondering where you were. How are you feeling?” She asked looking up at me from the pan she had been stirring as I passed the kitchen and headed straight to my room.

I groaned, “Ready to sleep. I have to head to the ho
spice in a little over an hour, hey Steve.” I told her with a curt nod in his direction. Steve held a hand of recognition up in a semi wave, fixated on something he was viewing on China’s laptop.

China raised both brows, “Huh? What happened to happy hour?” She whined.

I sighed and rubbed my temples before leaning out of my bedroom door to reply, “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking about it when I told Lenell I’d be there. Rain check?” I asked, trying out Joel’s suggestion.

She pouted with a deflated l
ook on her oval, porcelain face, “You need to sleep Star.” She then scolded while pointing the cream covered spoonula at me and her other hand on her hip.

“I know and the longer I stand here listening to you whine, the less time I’ll get to do that. We’ll go t
omorrow.” I teased to appease her.

She moved to the edg
e of the bar, closer to my door; so we wouldn’t have to yell, and she could still keep an eye the pan on the stovetop, “What time do you have to be there?” She then asked.

“Four.” I called over my shoulder.

“How are you going to get any sleep in an hour?” She asked then.

“I just need a second wind, and an hour is plenty of time.” I assured her. I sat on the edge of my bed after dumping my back pack and purse on the floor, and finally peeling out of my shoes and hoodie with a sigh of relief.

She sighed, “Fine. Tomorrow night and if I have to drag you there myself kicking and screaming from wherever you are, I will.” She called out.

“Okay, okay.”  I called back, taking her threat ser
iously— would do it too.

“Are you sure you should be going anywhere tonight though? I mean, you need to sleep and the weather report said thunderstorms. I don’t like the idea of you driving tired and all.” She then called out.

“I’ll be fine,” I yawned. My thick, plush pillow and comforter screamed ‘jump me’ but first, a nice, hot shower I decided as I gathered my robe, jammies and shower items, and then made a beeline for the bathroom.

China and Steve were perched in front of the television, already eating and watching some action movie when I stepped back out, feeling refreshed and even more ready to sleep. “You're you don’t want any casserole? It’s really good.” She asked holding up a forkful of creamy goo.

I scrunched up my face, “Not hungry thanks.”

“What time you want me to wake you up?” She asked.

“I’ll set my alarm,” I told her with a wave as I e
ntered my room and closed the door behind me. Alone at last. I was way too tired to think about my dream last night and everything that happened earlier even though it really bothered me.                                                                     

~~~***~~~

             
I didn’t even catch what had been sitting on my bedside table earlier as pulled my sheets back, prepared to slide into bed. I moved closer to inspect the two new, curious items. It was a book and a sample box of Ambien sleeping pills, both courtesy of China no doubt. I picked up the book entitled: ‘Survivor Guilt: Ways to Cope and Flourish after the Grief’. More than likely she had slipped them in when I was showering I guessed because I didn’t see them when I entered my room the first time.

I picked up the book with a sigh and turned to head for my bedroom door.

China was already standing there with a sheepish grin on her face, as if she had been expecting me to either thank or chew her out for leaving me something like this when I opened it.

“Really?” I said as I leaned against the door jamb holding the book up in one hand, and with my other arm crossed over my middle.

“Well…I was at the bookstore earlier, and I just happened to pass by the self-help section, and…I thought of you. I figured that if anything— it might be useful and the sample has five Ambien’s in it, take one tonight,” She explained softly and innocently like a child that had possibly done a bad thing.

I couldn’t be mad at her; she meant well. I knew she was trying to help because she cared, but I just wished she would understand that what I had gone through wasn’t what was bothering me.

“China, I do not have survivor guilt or whatever this book is talking about. I appreciate it, but I’m fine. It’s nothing that a little or a lot of sleep won’t cure and as a matter of fact; I will use one of those Ambien’s later tonight, okay?” I told her.
She worriedly bit her lip, and a smile crept across her face as her expression changed to both happy and satisfied.

She threw her arms around me and pulled me in for a warm hug.

“That’s all I ask though I still think you need to stay home tonight.” She whispered into my curls.

“Yeah, I would if I didn’t think I’d be hearing you and waking the dead.” I said as we pulled apart.

She gasped in playful surprise, “Oh come on, don’t worry we’ll keep it quiet for you. Sleep sweet.” She whispered.

And with that, I tossed the book onto my already di
sarrayed dresser, set my cell phone to wake me at three and fell into bed.

Looking at the coming storm clouds and the sound of thunder rolling and cracking, in the di
stance, I was beginning to think that maybe China had been right in suggesting I should stay home. By the time I reached the 45 46 bypass after exiting off of state road 37, the sky had darkened considerably. That was fast. The clouds looked almost black now, swollen with pressure and leaving heavy humidity thick in the air which magnified the strong scent of the usual allergens that typically made my nose itch and burn. I sniffed and my eyes watered, and I think still being sleepy had something to do with it too but the coffee China had made me to take with me helped a little.

Thunder boomed again, lighting up the whole sky and finally, fat random drops of rain began to pelt and spatter my windshield. I flicked on my wipers immediately. I was relieved; I had beaten the coming torrential downpour once I pulled into the parking lot of Serenity Lake Hospice. It had begun to rain sporadically, but the major stuff was coming soon.               The Hospice was a white and pastel blue colored, stone edifice that was purposefully designed to resemble more of a large, three-story house rather than a squared industrial hospital. It sat alone on a few acres all its own amid hills and meadows overlooking a man-made lake behind it, which gave credence to its name. I was fortunate enough to be able to get in and work with such an amazing group of people. This was definitely a field that you had to have a knack for and want to do.

I b
elieved all hospice workers and volunteers were truly angels in their own rites, in doing what they did for the patients who were placed here to live and rest out their final moments. Being among them was my personal tribute and homage to my grandmother but mostly for my parents who I wasn't able to be with in their final hours. It pained me not knowing and always wondering how and where they died, but I guess— at least knowing they had were together made it a less bitter pill of heartache and grief to swallow.

I wasted no time parking, gathering my tote bag and purse and briskly heading inside. I was relieved at the pleasant fragrance lingering in the air and grateful for the calm, quiet that the lobby
and front living area offered. The inside mimicked the subdued muted pastels of the outside, and it was bright, open and relaxing with the steady drone of the heater and soft voices in the background.