Divine by Mistake (35 page)

“A patient has to swallow only a small amount of juice from the poppy for it to relax them. Perhaps if they were given the poppy extract first, they could then be coaxed into drinking more of your tea mixture.” Her voice was a pleasant surprise—gentle and easy to listen to. I was instantly drawn to her.

“Let me introduce our Healer, Sila,” Victoria said.

“The poppy extract is an excellent idea. Unfortunately we have very little of the elixir. Our supply comes from the fields around Laragon Castle.” Carolan shrugged helplessly. “Laragon is no more.”

“Poppies grow in profusion on the centaur plains, I have an ample supply with me, and I will send immediately for more.”

“We would be in your debt,” I said gratefully. “You are an answer to our prayers.”

“If I am an answer to your prayers, Beloved of Epona, it is the Goddess you are indebted to, not me.” The Healer’s expression was gracious and open.

The thought passed through my mind that she must be an exceptional Healer if just the sound of her voice was so soothing.

Then she turned her attention to Victoria. “Huntress, please have a runner bring my trunk of medicines so that we can start relieving these people of their pain.”

Victoria caught my eye and raised her eyebrows at me. “I know a young centaur who would be happy to be our runner.”

“Yours, anyway,” I mumbled and she turned, flicking her tail at me as she opened the door. I could hear her sexy voice calling for Willie. The sound of his eager hooves scrambling to do her bidding echoed off the walls.

“You’re going to cause that boy to have cardiac problems,” I said as she rejoined us, looking smug.

“His heart is young, he will be fine,” she said, but her satisfied grin said she enjoyed the thought of the possibility. Then she shifted from Flirtatious Naughty Centaur Barbie to Corporate Executive Centaur Barbie. “Carolan, show us which patients need to be moved. We can use the pallets as litters to transport them.”

“All the patients who have yellow ribbons tied to their wrists need to be moved. The others must remain here.”

“The ones who are staying are the most seriously ill?” Sila asked in a hushed voice.

“Yes.”

“Then it is here that I will concentrate my efforts.” She went to the washup area and began scrubbing her hands.

The rest of the centaurs got to work.

It was amazing how quickly things fell into place. The Huntresses were fast, efficient and well organized. Victoria seemed to be in several places at once, and it amused me to see that the adoring Willie looked exhausted long before the lady centaurs began showing any signs of slowing down.

I tried to be helpful, but mostly I just stayed out of their way. Interestingly enough, I found myself assisting Sila as she worked among the seriously ill. It was a testimony to her talent when, after watching her tend to the first few patients, Carolan announced that he was going to the ballroom to get the patients there situated and medicated, and he would be leaving Sila in charge with only one of his assistants and me to act as her “team” of nurses.

Great.

Like the previous day, time blurred as my world narrowed to caring for the sick. Sila worked tirelessly to ease her patients’ pain. First, I helped dribble thick poppy liquid down the closing throats of the most ill, relieved each time the drug took effect and I saw their grimaces of pain relax. Then we began following the poppy dosages with tea. Sila explained to me which was willow bark, used to fight pain and inflammation (sounded kind of like liquid aspirin), and which was chamomile. I already knew chamomile was soothing for upset stomachs and helped relieve stress (my students give me copious amounts of herbal tea for Christmas and end-of-year presents, probably thinking it might make me “chill out”—silly children).

Carolan’s prediction of the day’s casualties had been close to correct. Five new patients were admitted to our ICU, and I counted four deaths—two young girls, one of my maidens and one infant boy. It seemed as if I had only taken one long, sustained breath, and hadn’t really had time to let it out, when I realized that the torches and candles had been lit for several hours. I felt like my feet were going to pulse out of my sandals, and my shoulders were vibrating with tension.

“Lady Rhea, Sila.” Victoria’s voice caught my attention. I looked up from the bed of a wheezing boy to see that she had entered the sickroom with six new female centaurs who looked fresh and awake. “These postulants of Diana are here to relieve you.”

“Good,” I tried not to cheer. Actually, I was too tired to cheer. “Come on, Sila, let’s wash up and go eat.”

I watched Sila as she bent over an elderly woman, coaxing her to swallow just a little bit more tea. She looked a lot like she had when I’d met her this morning. Her auburn hair curled around her face, softening her prominent cheekbones. Kindness and compassion radiated from her. She looked content and rested, which confused me because I was sure I looked like an exhausted bag lady.

“You go ahead, Lady Rhea, I will stay and oversee the young ones.” She gestured to the eager young centaur females.

I started to open my mouth to protest, but (thank God!) Victoria stopped me by saying, “ClanFintan told me to carry you out of here if I had to.” She looked askance at me and continued, “But I would truly rather not lift another human today.”

“Okay, okay! Sila, I’ll have supper sent to you.”

“I have already ordered it.” Victoria gave me an insulted look. “I knew our Healer would not leave the sick so soon.”

So soon! We’d been nursing all friggin day!

“Go to your husband,” Sila ordered when I just stood there like an idiot.

I gave in gracefully. “Have someone come wake me in the morning.” As I passed by Kristianna’s bed I paused to look at her flushed face. She appeared to be sleeping, but her breathing was labored.

“There is nothing more you can do for her.” Sila had joined me beside the child’s bed. “She is in the hands of your Goddess.”

“Come get me if…” I didn’t want to say it.

“I will. Now, go.” She pushed me toward Victoria. Before we were out the door I could hear that she was already issuing orders to the newcomers.

Victoria and I walked slowly down the hall in silence. I glanced at her and was pleased to see that she, too, looked dirty and tired.

“How’s a soak in my mineral bath sound?”

“How large is it?”

I let my eyes travel the length of her body before answering. “Large enough.”

“Good—humans sometimes do things in a small way.” She didn’t sound like she was trying to be offensive; she just sounded like she was stating an unfortunate fact.

“Not Lady Rhiannon, Beloved and Chosen of Epona.” I stuck my dirty nose up in the air.

Her eyes crinkled in a tired smile. “Of course, how foolish of me to forget.”

“That’s because goddesses aren’t usually covered in puke and poop.” I picked at a dried ball of yuck that was half stuck to my coronet, and half stuck to my hair. “And I think I have snot in my hair.”

“That could have something to do with it.” She rubbed at a spot on her cheek that was crusty with something as equally disgusting. “Being High Priestess should be more glamorous.”

“Well, I always thought I wanted to be a goddess.” I sighed theatrically. We looked at each other, smiling at our fatigue-induced silliness.

Thankfully, we were soon at the door that led to my bathing chamber. My guard opened the door. I noticed he was staring at my general state of disheveledness with a stunned expression. I gave him a haughty frown, and before he closed the door I said, “Get a life. I’m too damn busy to be immaculate.”

His eyeballs bugged out in shock. Rhiannon’s boys were certainly in for some confusing days ahead.

My bathing room was familiar and comfortable, and I inhaled a deep breath of pure sensory delight as the mineral fumes from the steaming pool wafted over me.

“This is a lovely chamber.” Victoria was already shedding her skimpy vest.

“Thanks, I really like it.” I followed suit and awkwardly disentangled myself from Alanna’s morning wrapping job. Over my shoulder I said to the beautiful, now bare-chested Huntress (yes, her breasts were large and perfectly rounded—the bitch), “Go ahead and get in. Be careful, though, the steps are a little steep.”

I finally rid myself of my dirty dress and stepped out of my teeny thong, just in time to see Victoria making her way gingerly to the deepest part of the pool, which covered her about midway up on her well-formed breasts. I stepped down into the warm water and was soon settled comfortably on my ledge, leaning back so that the water sloshed up to my chin. Victoria must have done some unhorselike maneuvering of her legs, because she relaxed in water that was suddenly up to her neck.

“Mmm,” she sighed contentedly. “We have no mineral springs in the Centaur Plains, just cold, clear water from springs.”

I remembered my little dalliance with ClanFintan at the country pool. Little wonder he knew his way around the sand soap.

“It’s great to soak in. Here…” I threw her one of the several bottles of my favorite soap, which just happened to be lying beside the pool within my arm’s reach (Note to self: thank Alanna). “This stuff is great.”

She uncorked the bottle and sniffed delicately, then said with surprise, “It smells like sand soap, only with more—” she sniffed again “—vanilla.”

“Yeah, it’s cool.” I grabbed a bottle for myself and started to lather up.

“Cool? I feel nothing cold.” She was holding a puddle of soap in her hand, staring at it like it was a glob of bugs.

“It’s just an expression,” I explained. “It means something’s nice, or you really like something.”

She shook her head at me as she began scrubbing herself free of smallpox scum. “You have an odd way of speaking.”

“Well, uh, it’s an Epona thing.” And I made myself very busy with unbraiding and washing my hair, hoping she wouldn’t press the point.

Two quick knocks sounded against the door.

“Come in—” I glanced at my very naked bathing partner and added “—if you’re not a male.” Girlfriend or no girlfriend, I wasn’t about to let my husband come in here and fill his eyes full of buxom naked centaur.

I mean, please, I
am
an English teacher. Some things just aren’t acceptable.

Alanna breezed through the door, arms loaded down with clothes and a large jug of what I desperately hoped was wine.

“Hi, Alanna!” Seeing her familiar face made me realize how much I’d missed her today.

“Rhea!” She smiled her sweet Alanna smile at me and rushed forward to empty her arms of stuff, nodding pleasantly at Victoria.

“Alanna, meet Victoria, Lead Huntress of Centaurs.”

“It is an honor to meet you, Mistress.”

“Alanna is my best friend—proof of that lies in the fact that I’d bet my coronet that jug is filled with my favorite red wine.”

As I spoke, Alanna was pouring me a goblet of red magic and placing it on the ledge next to me.

“Any red wine is your favorite red wine.”

“Any
dark,
dry red wine—I have my standards,” I quipped as I took a quick swallow.

Alanna, always Ms. Manners, was already pouring a second cup for Victoria. “Please join us, Mistress,” she said politely as she handed the wine to the centaur.

Victoria gratefully accepted the cup, and I watched as Alanna began to pick up my dirty clothing—

“Stop!” I screamed and jumped up, spraying water and wine everywhere. “Don’t touch my clothes!”

Alanna dropped the dirty mess as if she’d been burnt, and stood there looking miserable.

I grabbed her hand and led her over to the waterfall area where clean water bubbled into the pool. Pouring a lavish amount of soup on her hands, I ordered, “Wash—really, really well.”

“I forgot,” she said apologetically.

Mumbling to myself about blondes and best friends, I marched my naked body over to the pile of nasty clothes, picked them up and threw them into the blazing hearth that was built into the far wall. Then I jumped back into the pool and repositioned myself on my ledge. I looked up to find Victoria watching me as if I had suddenly sprouted wings or, worse, a penis.

I took another drink from my goblet, which I was pleased to see still had some wine left in it, before I explained.

“Smallpox is very contagious.”

“I knew that. It is why humans should not tend those who are already ill.”

“It’s more than just tending the ill that spreads the disease—the blankets, clothes, cups, anything someone has gotten—” I searched for the right words “—body fluids on, can spread the disease just as surely as if the person were standing there.”

“That I did not know.” Her keen eyes searched mine. “This is something your Goddess has revealed to you?”

“Yes,” I said, glancing sideways at Alanna, who was still scrubbing her hands as she watched me.

She acknowledged my worried look by reiterating, “The Goddess reveals many things to Rhea.”

Victoria looked satisfied with the divine-intervention explanation, and went back to washing her hair while she talked. “It has been said that you are taunting the leader of the Fomorians and drawing them into our trap.”

“Yeah—” I attacked my hair, too “—and it isn’t much fun.”

“I have found that there is only one compensation for dealing with great evil.” She paused and I waited expectantly for her to continue. “It teaches great lessons.”

She spoke with such profound sadness that I suddenly wanted very much to ask what had happened to her—I wondered what horrible lesson evil had taught her.

Instead, I said, “I wonder what lesson it will teach me.”

Into the silence the two knocks on the door seemed to echo.

“What?!” I yelled in my most annoyed-teacher voice.

“Rhea?” My husband sounded uncharacteristically tentative as the door opened a crack. I could see the reflection of the candles glimmer in his eyes as he tried to peer into the room. “May I enter?”

“No!” I screeched. “Victoria doesn’t have a damn thing on!”

He paused, holding the door open a little farther than a crack, and I could hear his amused snort. “I grew up with Victoria. I have seen her bathing many times.”

“I don’t care how many times you’ve seen how many zillions of gorgeous naked centaurs
before
we were married.” I was still yelling as I jumped out of the pool and sped to towel dry my body while I made shooing motions at him. “From now on you don’t get to see any naked females except me—centaur or not.”

I could hear his laughter, and I could see the door was still cracked open.

“Unless you want me leering at my guards while they bathe!”

The door slammed quickly closed. I continued drying myself, mumbling something about this not being the Playboy Mansion, so we were certainly not bunnies on display.

A noise from the pool made me look, just in time to see Victoria explode in laughter as she surged from the pool and shook water all over the room.

I noticed that Alanna (my supposed best friend) had plopped down on her butt and was joining the centaur in a big belly laugh.

“What’s so damn funny?” I asked as I wrapped my wet hair in a towel, turban style.

“You and ClanFintan!” Victoria said between her ringing laughter.

“What about us?”

“You are jealous!”

“So?”

Alanna was laughing so hard she snorted. I shot her a look and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing at, Ms. Newlywed.” She tried to sober her expression, but only succeeded in causing her eyes to tear with suppressed laughter.

“Lady Rhea,” Victoria hiccuped as her laughter subsided, “do not be offended. It was just so unusual to see the woman I have heard so many—” she stopped, clearly choosing to discard several offensive words “—tales about showing such obvious affection for her mate.”

I frowned and continued to dry myself.

“And then to see ClanFintan’s equally jealous reaction—it was just so unexpected.”

“Why?” All ears, I waited for inside ClanFintan info.

Alanna had herself back under control, and she was able to hunt up an extra towel for the centaur. Victoria talked as she dried herself (Alanna poured more wine for all of us—God bless her, I forgave her momentary hysteria).

“ClanFintan has long been pursued by females, centaur and human. He has always reacted with the same polite indifference.”

She saw that she had my full attention.

“I am not saying he has been disinterested in females, he has just never let his heart become involved.” Her lovely smile lit up her face. “It is quite obvious his heart is now involved.”