Divided We Fall (24 page)

“Good soldiers and airmen in the state of Idaho, you have a difficult decision to make. I’m sorry that the federal government has forced this decision upon you. But I know I can count on each and every one of you to make the right choice, and I promise you, the state of Idaho will enact no penalties against you regardless of what you choose. To make your decision, please reply with a call to this number, and officers will assist you.

“Thank you for your time and thank you for your service. May God bless you, the state of Idaho, and the United States of America.”

The screen went blank. I sat back in Mr. Morgan’s chair, staring up at the brown water stains in the ceiling tiles. For a moment, I thought Morgan’s swivel chair was spinning. Then I realized it was just me.

Football practice did not go well that night. First, although all I wanted to do was get out on the practice field to get ready for our next game, Coach kept us all in the locker room for a long time right away, talking to us about the gunman last Friday and the ongoing problem with the press.

“So while I cannot order any of you not to speak to reporters about all of this, I want to make it clear that if I find out that any of you have been in contact with the media, I’m going to wonder if you are truly focused on the upcoming game. I might not be able to start a player who is so unfocused.”

TJ stood up from the bench. “Coach, I didn’t say anything bad about —”

“But you saw how they twisted everything you said!” Coach yelled. “It makes you look bad. It makes your team look bad.”

“Yes, Coach.” He sat back down, keeping his eyes on his feet.

It felt good to see TJ shut down like that, especially after his idiot stunt with the reporters, and I was really glad that the guys all seemed to agree not to talk to the media, but the good times didn’t last. When we finally got on the field, I kept screwing up the plays and running the wrong routes, and I missed about every pass thrown to me. In tackling drills, I got knocked on my ass at least three times. I tried to focus, I tried to give a hard practice like I always did, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that depending on what I chose to do, I might not play in this Friday’s game. I might never play football again.

Finally, Coach Shiratori pulled me aside. I felt sure he was going to yell at me, make me do laps around the field, something horrible. “Listen, Wright,” he said quietly. “Mr. Morgan told me what that comm call was about. I watch the news, and I know what’s going on. Why don’t you take the rest of the night off? Go home and get yourself sorted out. Make plans and things.”

“That’s okay, Coach. I’m fine. I just want to play football. That’s all I’ve ever —”

“This isn’t really a request,” Coach Shiratori said. “Take the night off.”

“You’re kicking me off the team?” I asked. “Coach, I’ve done everything you asked. I’ve had a good season so far.”

“This is bigger than football, Mr. Wright.” He clapped a hand on my shoulder pad. “Bigger than either of us.”

As I walked toward the locker room, the team went back to running our offense. I stopped for a moment at the edge of the field as Sweeney launched a pass. Not one of his best. It wobbled a little. TJ caught it, and even dodged out of the way of three defenders.

“Thatta kid, Teee Jaaaaay!” Randy shouted.

I was so pissed I could have thrown up.

I was sweaty from practice, but I didn’t even bother showering. I changed into my jeans and T-shirt, went out to the Beast, and threw on my cowboy hat. Coach had said “Go home,” but that was the last place I wanted to be. With Mom away at her conference, the place was too quiet, too lonely. With the mufflers switched off, the roar of the engine sang to me. So I drove all over, finally ditching the two news vans that had tried to follow me. I ended up at the Abandoned Highway of Love. Maybe that was ironic. Hell, I didn’t know. I missed that vocab word on my last English test.

I slowed the Beast down a little as I steered around the collapsed left lane. Why was it that when I felt depressed, I would put on depressing music or go to lonely, quiet places? I should’ve been trying to cheer myself up. How? I didn’t know. Maybe I should have gone to a pet store or something. Seen the puppies.

I got out of the truck and went out onto Party Bridge. The dark water of Freedom River churned around the rocks below. A cool breeze whispered through the pines on the riverbank. I thought back to all the parties we’d had out here the summer after sophomore year. Cold beer and a good fire. A few cheap cigars with the guys. Girls in bikinis splashing around down there when the water was warm. Now those parties were over. I’d missed all of them when I went to basic training this last summer. Then summer ended at Boise. Maybe my life ended there too. I hadn’t thought about that until now.

“I’ve been looking for you,” JoBell said as she ducked under the I-beam barrier and came out onto the bridge. She put up the hood of her blue-and-white Minutemen sweatshirt.

“Welcome to the party,” I said, looking out at the water.

She stood beside me without saying anything for a long time. I wished she’d take my hand or rub my back like she used to do when I was facing hard times, but I guess that was too much to hope for. At least she was giving me some quiet time. I was grateful for that. I didn’t feel like talking about the situation. I was tired of it. Tired of talking and thinking about it.

“Volleyball practice was fun tonight.”

“Good,” I mumbled, watching a fish skip out of the water downstream.

“Cassie Macer was in a really good mood.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Did Sweeney and her —”

“Yep.”

“This last weekend?”

“Sunday night. He convinced her to come over to ‘study,’ I think.”

“JoBell,” I said, finally looking at her. I didn’t know where to begin.

She put her arms around me and drew in for a kiss. After that, she squeezed me close and rested her head on my chest. “You’re going to be okay, Danny.”

“I wish I knew how.”

“Let me call the others.” She held up her comm. “We’ll figure this out together.”

*  *  *

About fifteen minutes later, Cal, Sweeney, and Becca showed up, and I explained the whole thing so they had the full details, not just the little bit I told Sweeney at lunch. “So that’s it,” I said. “Those are my choices.” I shook my head. “And I have no idea what I should do.”

“I know you probably won’t want to hear this,” JoBell said. “But you’ve been talking about how you want this all to be over. You want things to be normal.
Quit the military
. It solves everything. You can go back to football and hanging with us and school, which is what you really need to be focused on, so we can get your grades up for your college application.”

“It’s not that simple,” I started.

She took both of my hands in hers. “Babe, what if it is? What if it’s exactly that simple? You’ve been given your way out. This can all be over.”

“I signed my name on the line. I swore an oath to obey the president. To obey the governor.”

“Exactly.” JoBell flipped a strand of hair back behind her ear. “And the governor said you can get out of the military with no penalties, so
do
it.”

“But the federal government is expecting him to show up at that Air Force base Wednesday,” said Sweeney. “If he doesn’t, it’s a crime or something, right?” I nodded. He went on, “The federal government has thought he was guilty of a crime for a while now. I don’t know, maybe it would be a good idea to go federal and get that pardon. On the other hand, even without a pardon for Boise, and even if they’re pissed that he doesn’t show up to federal duty, it’s not like they can come and arrest him. The Idaho Guard won’t even let them into the state.”

“Bingo.” Cal spoke through a belch before crushing his empty Turbo Juice can. “What’s he supposed to do? Act like it’s all good while the National Guard protects him?” He pointed at me. “While they put their asses on the line, you’re just going to sit around and watch? I say go state all the way, man. You don’t owe the Fed shit. They tried to arrest you. They almost killed us all, trying to run us down in the car. If you go to that Air Force base, they’ll probably bust you right there. You’re insane if you think the president is really going to give you that pardon. He already proved he ain’t trustworthy by accidentally-on-purpose leaking your name to the news. The governor’s right. The only reason they’re calling you to active duty Army is so they can come into the state and arrest Montaine, and that guy is the only one who kept you out of jail after that whole thing went down in Boise. He helped you. Now you got to help Idaho. Someone has to stand up to these guys.”

I don’t know exactly what the others were thinking, but they had to have been as shocked as I was. That was the longest, clearest speech Cal ever gave, better even than his classic sophomore-year English-class presentation, “Why Brittany Mavis Is the Best Actress and Singer and She Turns Me On.”

Finally, JoBell shook her head. “That’s illegal. That’s rebellion!”

“Whoa, whoa. Easy, guys.” I didn’t need my best friends fighting about this.

“It’s the damn Fed that’s breaking the law.” Cal threw his can into the river. “The Idaho Guard is only protecting us. It’s not rebellion. It’s self-defense.”

“It’s suicide,” Becca said quietly. She had this way of getting everyone’s attention without having to yell. She didn’t always talk much, but when she did, her words mattered. “If it comes to an all-out fight? Idaho against the full Army, Air Force, and Marines of the United States? Suicide.”

“It won’t be a fight if the Fed stays out of Idaho,” Cal said.

“What if they don’t stay out? What if they storm the state? They don’t even need to come in. They can fire cruise missiles or drop bombs or something,” Becca said. “I’m sorry, but Idaho doesn’t have a chance. Not in a million years.”

“Hey,” I said. “The Idaho Guard is just as well trained and —”

“They’re going to get killed,” Becca said. “You know it’s true.”

“But they won’t take it that far,” said Sweeney. “What president would order the total slaughter of his own people? He’d never be elected again.”

I put my head back and pressed my fists to my eyes. “This isn’t getting me anywhere. If I obey the president, I have to leave home for two years.”

“Or maybe longer,” JoBell added.

“Or maybe longer,” I agreed.

“Or probably go to jail.” Cal folded his big arms. “And you’d be selling out your state.”

I leaned against a steel girder in the bridge’s truss. “If I stay with the Idaho Guard, I’ll probably end up getting killed.”

“Not necessarily,” said Sweeney.

“And you’d betray your oath to the president,” said Becca.

“But if I drop out of the military entirely,” I said, “I’d be a traitor to both.”

JoBell took my hand.

“Dude, I don’t know what you should do,” said Sweeney. “But I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

“Thanks for coming out here, guys,” I said. “It means a lot. Tomorrow’s only Tuesday, right? The Fed doesn’t expect me until Wednesday, so I can sleep on it.”

Cal slapped me on the back. Becca put one arm around Sweeney’s shoulders and the other down around Cal’s waist, and we all started back toward our cars, parked in a line on the Abandoned Highway of Love.

*  *  *

With Mom gone, I could dodge the reporters by parking in the garage, but JoBell had to park over a block away and then sneak through backyards on foot to escape notice. I let her in, then went upstairs to shower and change into clean clothes, but when I came down to the living room, she wasn’t there.

“Jo?” I called. Someone reached around from behind and grabbed me. I spun out of the grip and pulled my fist back, ready for a fight.

She stood there, smiling and wearing my cowboy hat.

“Whoa! Sorry. Bad idea,” she said.

I breathed deeply to still my pounding heart. I had been ready to crush whoever was behind me. “Don’t scare me like that,” I said quietly. I never would have been like this before everything had fallen apart. JoBell slid her hands up under my T-shirt and pressed them to my bare chest. My breath seized up. “Whoa, ice-cold,” I said.

She cupped her hands over her mouth and blew to warm them with her breath. Then she rubbed her palms together before placing them on me again. “Better?”

I kissed her and tried to put my arms around her, but she slipped away. “I’m hungry.”

“So am I.” I grinned.

She giggled and headed for the kitchen. “I’m hungry for
food
. Show me what frozen delights you have for us tonight.”

She put on a playlist of our favorite songs, and I showed her my master chef skills in cooking the perfect fish sticks and fries. Before we sat down to eat, I found a couple candles from the junk drawer, lit them, and put them on the table.

“Poor man’s romantic feast.” I pulled out JoBell’s chair for her.

She bowed. “Thank you, sir,” she said in a rich-sounding accent before sitting down.

I sat down across from her, and we clinked our wine glasses filled with grape pop together. Then we settled in to eating. The food may have been cheap and crappy, but I couldn’t remember a better meal.

“I was feeling pretty miserable today.” I dipped my last fish stick in the little dish of ketchup between us, holding it up afterward. “But being with you makes everything so much better.”

“I’m glad I can help.” She grinned. “You’re going to be okay, Danny. You’re strong enough to handle all this. That’s what I’ve always loved most about you. It wasn’t your looks —”

“Hey!”

“— or your choice in music. But I’ve always loved how brave you are. Pulling off that fake punt in football. The bull riding. Even your courage to enlist and go through basic training with all those mean drill sergeants. You’re strong … and brave.” She pushed her empty plate away and looked at me. In her eyes I saw her other hunger. “And yeah, it actually was your looks too.”