Divided (53 page)

“So, the Hero made his deal, condemning those he would
never know to suffering, and never knowing if his choice was right.”

-A Hero’s Peace v.i

Lee, somehow constantly in positions that he needed to be,
was in the courtyard when Calis left the palace.  His cheek ached with force,
but he was determined to pretend he hadn’t been struck.  His father was a
monster, and a monster that was bent on destroying the kingdom without any
reason.  Why Calis had asked about it was beyond him.  Perhaps it was Kilik’s
constant insistence that the idea was foolery.  It was, after all, and Calis
shouldn’t wish for death of anyone in Telandus—with the possible exception of
his own father.

Then, his lips were burning.  As of late, touching anything
other than Kilik with them felt vile, poisonous.  He hated the idea of another
person’s skin against his lips, and though Miss Avyon was no monster, he hated
her skin the worst.  Kilik had accepted the arrangement so gracefully, though
he had tried to end it.  End it, though, before he realized that Calis had
every intention of staying with him.

Oh, if only Kilik was ready to leave Telandus!  They could
leave and never have to look at Calis’s vile father again.  Unfortunately,
Kilik needed to be here, and they both knew that.  Calis’s thought was that it
involved the war, after all, Kilik seemed so determined that peace was
necessary.  Surely, his objective in Telandus revolved around a war that should
not be occurring.  Though, Kilik would have been better served in Cathalar, as
they were the ones with all the power.  They would win the war.

Then again, Cathalar had stood by for years as Lavus pushed
and pushed at their boundaries.  Veyron was known for being a patient ruler, though
most thought it was the influence of his sons, and patience only extended so
far. 

“Calis,” Lee’s voice pulled him out of his rather stormy
thoughts.  Lee’s eyes were immediately curious as he glanced at Calis’s face. 
“Are you alright?”

The question was a stupid one, and Calis nearly told Lee
so.  His friend was concerned, though, and that was not something at which
Calis should scowl.  He sighed.  “Fine, Lee,” he said.  “Are you coming?  You
know where I’m going.”

A wary smile came across Lee’s lips, but to Calis’s
surprise, he nodded.  Lately, Lee had taken it upon himself to stay behind when
Calis went to Dark District.  Lee claimed it was largely to make sure no one
got too curious about where Calis had gone.  Calis suspected that Lee’s lack of
involvement had more to do with how intimate Calis was with Kilik. 

That aside, Lee had recently pointed out that Calis’s
constant excursions without an advisor would raise questions as well. 
Therefore, Lee was apparently going to be an adult about spending time with
Calis and his lover.  Calis couldn’t bother not to express himself, either. 
His mind was so close to the breaking point that if he tried to keep away from
Kilik—his sanity would be at stake. 

Lee and Calis had clothes, most of which Calis had bought on
his earlier excursions to Dark District, waiting for them in one of the bushes
near the wall that they climbed to get into Dark District. 

After changing, Calis made such quick work of the wall
between he and Kilik that Lee was scrambling to keep up.  “Sir, if you’ll slow
down for a moment, now that we’re in Dark District—I wanted to make a request.”

The words from Lee, especially when he’d avoided saying
Calis’s name, were more than a little alarming.  Calis’s lips twitched, but he
turned dutifully towards Lee to listen to the request.  “What is it, Lee?” he
asked warily.

“We’ve talked about what you saw that sun—after the meadow,”
Lee spoke carefully.  Lee never spoke without thought, but it was rare that he
took such care with his words.  Perhaps he thought Calis would be angry with
him.  No, Lee had never worried about that before.  “But, I can’t make any more
of it until I see it.”

Calis stiffened.  Returning to that place felt wrong, but
then, Lee was the smartest person he knew.  Lee would know before any of
Telandus’s so called scholars did.  Not that they would worry themselves with
anything outside the city walls, Light forbid they risk getting their robes
dirty.  If he was going to help Kilik, then perhaps Calis was going to have to
take a few risks of his own.  Of course, taking Kilik back to that forsaken
place was not an option.  Calis, though, Calis could go—and Lee, if he
insisted.

They stood for a moment, and Lee’s green eyes were patient
as they waited for Calis’s response.  Eventually, Calis offered an uncertain
nod.  “If that is what you need—then we can return.  Not with Kilik, though. 
That place was… he shouldn’t be near it.”

This didn’t seem to surprise Lee in the least.  “From what
you’ve told me, the place is the source of his nightmares, and they seem to be
getting worse.”  The thought was sobering, but it was true.  Kilik had tried to
hide it, but the fact was that he was experiencing the nightmares more
regularly, and they were becoming less possible to deal with.  Despite Kilik’s
insistence that he was fine, he was not.  “That being said, we need to figure
out what to do about it.  Lest his nightmares become too much for him to bear.”

“Indeed,” Calis said absently.  The idea was terrifying, and
if he’d let himself think about it too long—he knew he’d regret it.  What could
happen to Kilik—Calis had seen that rock fall apart before his eyes—
no!
 
He would not think about that.  He would make sure whatever possessed that rock
stayed as far from Kilik as possible.  “Perhaps I’ll take you on the way back
to the castle, I haven’t the slightest urge to return.”

A sympathetic flash crossed Lee’s face, and then he nodded. 
“I don’t care when, my friend.”  Calis knew Lee was thinking of asking about
the mark on his face, but he wasn’t going to.  He knew Calis’s pride far too
well to bring it up. 

They spent the rest of the walk in their typical
companionable silence.  Though, as they neared Juliet’s home, Calis felt his
heart starting to pound.  He wanted to see Kilik—he needed to see Kilik.  His
body felt sick, and his mind felt torn in so many directions.  He hoped that
seeing the young man would ease at least some of his pain.  His father had
proven with this sun that he held no love for his eldest son—and that could not
be debated any longer.  Calis’s life was forfeit if he didn’t meet
expectations.

Lee announced their arrival as they passed through the cloth. 
Calis always forgot to do so when he came without Lee, and he’d caused Alyx and
Juliet quite a few brief shocks.  This time, however, the red-haired girl was
the one who greeted them.  Katt’s smile was pleasant, and Calis noticed that
she lingered for a moment on Lee.  “I thought you’d quit coming with him, Lee,”
she chirped.

“I haven’t,” Lee answered, without emotion.  His eyes
prickled with it, though, which was abnormal for Calis’s advisor.  Oh well,
Calis would worry about what had occurred between these two later.  She was one
of his informants, anyway.  As far as Calis knew, Lee had still been gathering
information.  Not that he’d obtained anything recently, other than the fact
that Kilik’s desire to unite Dark District finally seemed to be happening. 

Calis let out a breath.  “Is Kilik here?” he asked hollowly.

Before Katt could answer, though, Kilik stepped out from
behind one of the cloths to regard Calis with those impossibly blue eyes. 
Calis could feel his mind’s trouble vanishing, as if there had never been a
problem.  The directions all vanished—the pull destroyed—and he could only feel
a tug in one direction, towards Kilik.  Peace.  That was what Kilik brought
him. 

“Who is asking?” Kilik asked, with a playful quirk of his
eyebrow.

Calis laughed and shook his head.  Slowly, surely, his
frustration began to fade away, and he could feel the good humor that he always
seemed to experience in Kilik’s presence taking hold.  “Nobody important,” he said.

As Kilik took a few more steps, though, his eyes narrowed. 
For a moment, he looked suspicious, and his eyes were sparking with
irritation.  Calis felt a momentary confusion, unsure what might cause this,
but then the sting reminded him.  And Kilik, unlike Lee, would rather have
Calis’s pride hanged than waste a moment not addressing an injury.  “What
happened?” he said sharply.

“My father happened,” Calis answered flatly.  The matter
wasn’t one for concern.  After all, though it had been a while, Calis had been
hit before.  He hadn’t been abused, per say, but he had certainly been struck
when he didn’t meet expectations.  Tareth, though, had been far more abused
than he. 

Sadness took hold of Kilik’s features, and he took the few
more steps between them, placing his hand gingerly to Calis’s injury.  “Your
father…”  The anger returned, and for the first time, Calis realized that he
would not want to cross Kilik.  He may not have had much self-preservation, but
he would be the first to stand up if someone he cared about was hurt.  Hence,
the Phantom Blade—the vigilante that never seemed to come to Kilik’s defense.  “He
hit you?  Why?” he snapped.

“I thought I would try,” Calis asserted weakly, “to talk to
him about the war.”  Kilik’s eyes sparked a little at the words, as they always
did.  What was it about the war that seemed to have such an effect on Kilik? 
“I told him, pretty forwardly, that it would result in Telandus’s destruction. 
This was his very well thought-out and clever rebuttal,” Calis said dryly.  His
father had never been much of an intellectual.

Calis had thought they shared the idea that swords were an
easier solution to most things, but it would appear that Lavus thought they
were a better solution to everything.  “Why would you do that?  You said
yourself that you knew he would react like this!  He could have done worse!”
Kilik was quivering, eyes wide with disbelief. 

Calis grabbed Kilik’s hand in his own, bringing it down to
try and calm his lover.  “I know, Kilik,” he said, “but I thought—the way you
were always so persistent about the war—I thought I could help, maybe, by
stopping the war.”

For a moment, Kilik pulled at Calis, and his eyes got far
wider than they had been before.  He seemed in awe, as though he thought Calis
would burst into fire at any moment.  Calis didn’t have any intention of doing
so, so he pulled Kilik to him.  “I do want to stop the war,” Kilik conceded. 
“I want to stop it… more than anything.”  Then, his head snapped up so that his
eyes met Calis’s.  “Well, almost anything.”

“Your nightmares, Kilik.”  Lee spoke, and they both turned
to look at him.  This was a large step for Lee, as he usually faded into the
background while Calis embraced Kilik.  This time, though, he seemed at ease
with the visual.  “Is it possible that they have anything to do with the war?”

Kilik squirmed a little, but Calis kept his arms wrapped
firmly around his young prisoner.  “I’m not sure.  There is just a recurring
theme of failure.  There are no specifics.  I’m always petrified in the dreams
because I don’t know what it is I’ve failed.”

“I think the dreams might be playing on your own guilty
nature.  You tend to take responsibility for things that are not… well, your
responsibility.”  His eyes flicked to Katt, as she still didn’t know that Kilik
was the Phantom Blade.  That had come up a few times in their discussions, and
Katt had always remained consistently oblivious.

How—Calis would never know.  Perhaps her mind was elsewhere,
or perhaps she knew and preferred to pretend that she didn’t.  “I don’t know,”
Kilik said, and finally relaxed against Calis.  Their intimacy had been strange
for others at first, but now, everyone seemed comfortable with it.  Calis
didn’t care, he was comfortable, at any rate. 

The help was disarming for Kilik, though probably not as
disarming as Calis’s confessing that he loved him.  Kilik had looked
particularly shocked that sun—and horrified.  Though, he certainly hadn’t
disliked the confession.  Regardless, since then, and it had been nearly two
cycles, everyone seemed determined to assist Kilik with his nightmares.  Calis
being the one who involved himself the most thoroughly.  “I keep thinking I
should go back there—outside the city walls,” Kilik murmured.

A flash of narrowed eyes, and Lee and Calis were staring at
one another.  “No,” Calis said definitively.  If there was one thing he knew,
it was that Kilik need not return to that terrible place.  If it had a negative
effect on anyone, then it was Kilik.  A visceral need to protect arose in his
chest, and he could feel his heart hammering to meet the demand.  “You will not
go back there.”

Kilik pulled away from him, with a look of exasperation.  “I
have to figure this out.  I can’t keep hearing this voice and trying to ignore
it.  It’s just getting louder.”

“I told Lee I would take him there later this sun,” Calis
said unevenly.  He had a feeling Kilik might oppose this, but he wasn’t going
to let Kilik stop him from going.  And truth be told, it might ease the young
vigilante’s mind to know that they were considering it a threat. 

There was a moment of silence as Kilik’s eyes worked to
figure out how they wanted to respond.  “I don’t want you to go there,” he
whimpered.  “Especially not without me.”

“You don’t get a choice, love,” Calis answered
categorically.  He would give Kilik the opportunity to win some of their
arguments, but this was not one of them.  Calis knew that there was something
terrible in that grove—something that should never have been placed into this
world.  But it was there, and that horrible entity wanted Kilik for something. 
Calis would be hanged before he allowed it to have the only person he’d ever
loved, though. 

The statement maddened Kilik.  The simplicity of it was
probably what drove him so mad.  Calis didn’t debate matters of Kilik’s safety,
and no matter how much time passed—they would never be up for negotiation. 
Kilik had apparently lived enough of his life neglecting his own needs and
wants, and Calis had resolved to make sure that ended.  “You do not get to tell
me what to do, your highness.”