Divas Don't Knit (39 page)

We stand waving them off as they drive down the street.

‘Lottie said bloody when we were eating our lunch.’

‘Don’t tell tales, Archie.’

‘But she did.’

‘Well never mind.’

‘I don’t mind. I like Lottie.’

Actually, I think I do, too. She must have the recessive family gene – and she’s going to need it with those two for parents, bless her.

‘Can we take Trevor out for a walk now, Mum? you promised we could.’

Bugger.

‘Yes, all right. But not for too long, Jack. It’ll be getting dark soon.’

Christine’s very pleased to see us, and full of apologies about earlier, and we head straight for the beach as the perfect choice for a late-afternoon walk in a freezing gale. Jesus Christ. I’m standing watching the boys throwing sticks for Trevor and losing the will to live when my phone rings and it’s Daniel. Damn. Why can’t he ever ring when I’m sitting down somewhere in the warm, ready for a bit of sparkling banter, instead of half frozen and sniffing.

‘Look, I’m sorry I haven’t managed to call you. It’s just been mad.’

‘Don’t worry about it, and thanks so much for the photographs: they’re lovely.’

‘You’re welcome. So how are you? Nice to be home?’

‘Yes, apart from the weather. It’s bloody freezing here.’

‘Don’t talk to me about freezing, I’ve spent the last few days digging Tony out of snowdrifts in Sweden.’

‘Oh dear.’

‘I’d have been better off with a bloody husky for an assistant. He’s been totally fucking useless.’

There’s the sound of scuffling in the background.

‘Tony says hello.’

‘Say hello back to him for me.’

‘She says, “Fuck off, you total loser.”’

‘Where are you?’

‘At the airport.’

‘Off anywhere nice?’

‘Barbados.’

‘Oh, please. Enough.’

‘Sorry.’

‘It’ll make a nice change from Sweden, that’s for sure.’

‘Yes, although that’s kind of what I’m calling about. Hang on, I’ll move somewhere quieter.’

I hear flight announcements for a few seconds, and then he comes back on the line.

‘That’s better. Yes, Sweden. It wasn’t just work. Liv was over, staying with her parents actually and we met up. And, well to cut a long story short she’s left him. And moved in with me.’

This doesn’t sound good.

‘Who’s Liv?’

‘Sorry, I never told you her name, did I? She called Liv Bergstrom. You’ve probably seen her in things?’

Fucking hell. She’s almost as famous as Grace.

‘Yes, I have. She was in that film with the bank robbery wasn’t she?’

‘Yes. That’s how we first met, on a publicity shoot for
Vanity Fair.
But she’s very real, too, if you know what I mean. I think
it’s the Scandinavian thing: they seem to be much more grounded over there, apart from all that pickled herring bollocks, of course. So I just wanted to let you know. Bad timing or what? I’m really sorry.’

‘It’s fine, Daniel, honestly. And I’m really pleased for you.’

‘Are you, really? That’s so great. I was hoping you might be, and I’m sure you’d get on. She knits, you know, she loves it. She’s been doing it for years. Maybe next time we’re over we could all meet up?’

‘I’d love that.’

‘Great. She’s got a film starting in a few weeks, but I think we might be around in the summer.’

‘Lovely.’

‘Great. I’ll call you then. And say hello to the boys for me, and Trevor. Bye, angel.’

Damn and bugger it. It’s not like I feel as if my heart has been broken or anything, but still. Damn. Time to go home for tea, I think. I’ve got a large chocolate cake which I bought in case they all stayed for tea. But now I think crumpets in front of the fire and a large slice of chocolate cake are just what I need. I’ll call Ellen later. And I can finish off the baby shoes I’m knitting for Grace. And try to forget that little jolt when he called me angel. Damn.

It’s my first proper day in the shop for nearly a week, due to a combination of Archie having a cold, and then Jack, culminating inevitably in me catching it. After a nightmare week of boxes of tissues and hot drinks merged with high temperatures and hacking coughs I’ve realised that, while in my head I like to think of myself as a proper mother who has cool hands ready to soothe fevered brows, and endless reserves of cheerful patience, it turns out that actually I’m not very patient at all, and rather prone to shouting things like ‘Just stop whining, for God’s sake’, and tutting when people leave their tissues all over the living-room floor. I managed to lose my voice completely by the end, so I was reduced to banging saucepan lids together to get them to be quiet. Which on reflection probably wasn’t quite as good an idea as it seemed at the time, because Archie’s taken to doing it every time he wants a bit of attention.

It’s Valentine’s Day soon, and I’m in the shop tying knitted pink hearts onto gingham ribbon to hang up in the window, although God knows why I’m bothering, since I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day and this year looks like being a particular corker.

I think I’ll give Ellen a call for a bit of moral support.

‘I’m feeling completely crap.’

‘Getting over a cold crap, or just in general?’

‘Just general, and bloody Valentine’s Day isn’t helping.’

‘Tell me about it. I was thinking of taking Harry off to Paris this year for a mini-break, but I’m not sure I fancy it with him still on his crutches. Although you’d be amazed what he can get up to with his leg propped on a cushion.’

‘Please. That’s exactly the kind of thing I don’t want to be hearing about.’

‘Are we talking about Daniel now, by any chance?’

‘No.’

‘Good, because I think you’re well out of that one, darling.’

‘Do you? Well, that’s good, because I don’t think I’ve got much of a choice about it.’

‘You want to steer well clear of men who are carrying torches for their former lovers. They always end up whining on about them for hours; there’s no future in it.’

‘I didn’t want a future with him, but a few more interludes would have been nice.’

‘It’s just bad luck, darling. Don’t let it put you off.’

‘Please tell me you’re not going to say there are plenty more fish in the sea.’

‘Well, there are. You could try a nice bit of skate next, or chub. Actually, what are chub?’

‘I’ve got no idea. But knowing my luck I’ll get one of those ones that puff up to twice its size and then give you an electric shock.’

She laughs. ‘Well, there’s always old Dovetail to fall back on.’

‘Stop calling him that, Ellen, he’s been really kind.’

‘Yes, and I bet he’d be even kinder if you gave him half a chance. Still, you know best. I know, let us two go to Paris and leave Harry with the boys.’

‘On crutches? He wouldn’t stand a chance. And anyway, I haven’t got the money. I could do you a weekend down here, though, and we can rent movies and eat too much chocolate
and watch the boys tying Harry to a tree. How does that sound?’

‘Perfect.’

‘It’s nearly a year now, you know. This time last year Nick was still in Jerusalem.’

‘I know, sweetheart.’

‘It seems much longer than a year, doesn’t it?’

‘Yes, it does. How are the plans for your knit-in shaping up, by the way? Have you decided on your media strategy yet?’

‘Get the boys to watch less cartoons?’

‘If you get the Diva along, I could probably swing it to come down and do a piece.’

‘I’m still not sure she’s up for it. She sounded quite keen when I told her about it, and Max thinks she might do it, it depends on how she feels on the day. She’s very pregnant now.’

‘Well I’ll mention it at the meeting and see what I can do. It’s human interest, isn’t it, and that always works, especially if a megastar might be in the mix. When is it again?’

‘Friday morning.’

‘It might be a laugh. I could interview you if she doesn’t turn up, and then we can go to the pub.’

‘Can’t you interview someone else? Linda would be great; she never stops talking. Or Gran – she’d love it, although it might turn into a piece on the wonders of cruising.’

‘I’ll call you after the meeting, but start practising, just in case.’

Oh God.

I’ve just finished sewing the last heart onto the ribbon when Mark comes in, carrying a large Tupperware box.

‘I’ve got a new recipe I want to try out on you. Can we have a coffee?’

‘Is it cake?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re on.’

We go upstairs and sit by the fire. The cake turns out to be a dark chocolate one with glossy icing, and something else, only I’m not sure what.

‘This is lovely.’

‘You don’t think the prunes are too much, then?’

‘What prunes?’

‘Great. That’s all I need to know.’

He drinks his coffee, and looks rather nervous.

‘Is something the matter?’

‘Not really. It’s just, well, I’m a bit worried about Connie.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, she’s being quiet, and she’s never quiet. So I wondered if she’d said anything to you? I mean, I know you talk and everything, and I wondered if she’d mentioned anything?’

‘You mean you thought you’d bring a cake round and I’d tell you all our secrets.’

‘Yes.’

‘Not a chance.’

He smiles.

‘Fair enough. But there aren’t any secrets I should be worrying about, are there?’

‘No, sorry, of course not. I was only teasing. I think she just needs a break, that’s all. Honestly.’

‘The trouble is, there’s never a good time with the pub.’

‘I know. That’s what used to happen with me and Nick, there was always something that needed doing, and you just gradually drift apart.’

He seems rather horrified. ‘You don’t think that’s what’s happening to me and Con, do you?’

‘No, sorry. I’ve just been thinking about it a bit, recently. No,
I think you’re both fine. Only it’s hard when you’re both so busy.’

He looks at his feet. ‘I was thinking I could book a ticket for her to go over to see her mum for a few days. I think she’d like that, maybe with the kids, at half-term. I thought I’d tell her on the morning of the flight, so it would be a surprise. What do you think?’

‘I think that’s the kind of surprise which works best if you haven’t got to pack for two kids for a week.’

He nods. ‘True, and I don’t think I could afford to go, too, not if it meant closing, so maybe it’s not such a good idea.’

‘Why don’t you get her mum and dad over here then? You could ask them over for half-term or Easter.’

‘That’s a brilliant idea. She’d love that, she really would. And it could still be a surprise, if I went and picked them up at the airport without telling her, couldn’t it?’

‘I’d tell her now if I were you. That way she’ll be able to look forward to it.’

‘Yes, but if I tell her now she’ll want to redecorate the spare bedroom.’

‘But that’s all part of the fun, isn’t it?’

‘I suppose so, unless you can come up with something that doesn’t involve me holding a paintbrush?’

‘Sorry.’

He smiles. ‘I can’t wait to see her face when I tell her.’

‘Well, remember, any time you need a food taster, you know where to come.’

‘Shall I put the rest of this in the kitchen?’

‘No, please. If you leave it here I’ll have eaten the whole thing by lunch time.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘I’ll see you on Friday, then, at the knit-in?’

He sighs. ‘Do I have to?’

‘Reg and Mr Pallfrey are coming.’

‘Yes, but will they be knitting? Connie says I’ve got to be knitting and she’s going to show me how to do it, but I really don’t fancy it, to be honest. It’s a bit too girly for me.’

‘Reg will be knitting – he learned in the army – but Mr Pallfrey’s just going to hold a ball of wool I think.’

‘I can do holding things. I’m really good at holding things. And anyway, she’s not very patient, so I’m not sure how her teaching me will work out. I’ll probably end up looking like a total tosser.’

‘Russell Crowe knits.’

‘Exactly. And before you ask, no, I’m not wearing a bloody toga.’

‘What a brilliant idea. We could do the whole thing in fancy dress. I’ll put you down as a gladiator and tell everyone to dress up.’

‘Christ. Me and my big mouth.’