Distractions (23 page)
Authors: Natasha Walker
She put the car in drive and pressed the accelerator. The car revved but didn’t move. She realised she had put it in neutral. She looked down and tears filled her eyes. Finally she drove off, leaving Paul standing in the empty parking spot.
She only made it a few streets before she had to pull over. The tears fell uninterrupted. She convulsed and collapsed against the steering wheel. She cried as she hadn’t cried before. Her heart hurt. She wasn’t angry, she was in pain. She felt her whole being unravel. She loved him so much. She had given herself to him. It had taken some time, but she had finally decided that all she wanted was him. He was the one. The central figure in her life.
An hour passed by. She had been unable to move or to think. The tears had come and gone and come again.
She reached down to her handbag and lifted it up, searching for her phone.
His number was on speed dial. She pressed it.
‘Hello?’
‘Just tell me. Who is it?’
‘Sally. He bought an apartment for her in Kirribilli. He sees her every day.’
She hung up.
She breathed in deeply and wiped her eyes. The phone said it was a quarter to seven. She tilted the rear-view mirror and saw that her face was a mess.
Her phone rang. It was him.
‘What?’
‘I’m worried about you. Where are you? I’m out in front of your house.’
‘Go home.’
‘No, I won’t. Not without you. Come and stay with me.’
‘You think I am going to go off with you after what you’ve done?’
‘What have I done?’
‘Don’t fuck with me, Paul. You just told me my husband is having an affair with my best friend. I hate you. There was no need for you to tell me. What is your motto? When in doubt lie?’
‘But you’re not someone I can lie to.’
‘You didn’t need to lie, you just needed to stay away. You came to destroy my life.’
‘I want you, Emma.’
‘Well, you can’t have me.’
‘You’re not going to stay with him.’
‘I’d be a hypocrite to judge him. I’ve done worse.’
‘You’re going to stay with him?’
‘Yes.’
‘I won’t let you. I’m going to tell him I told you. I’m going to tell Mark that Sally is cheating on him. I’ll bring it all down.’
‘Paul, go home.’
‘No.’
‘You can’t undo this. I am David’s wife for better or for worse.’
‘You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re in shock.’
‘Paul, I know what I’m saying. I love David and I am going to stay with him.’
‘This is crazy. Come home with me. We’ll talk to David tomorrow.’
‘I’m staying, Paul. I’m going to have his baby.’
Half an hour later Emma was in her kitchen cutting onions. Dinner was going to be late, but she didn’t care much. She was concentrating all of her efforts on standing upright. Tears rolled down her cheeks, dropping onto the cutting board. She opened a bottle of white and poured herself a glass but she couldn’t take a sip. She didn’t trust herself.
She was thankful Sally and Mark hadn’t arrived. She was dreading the knock on the front door. How was she going to get through the night?
She heard voices. Laughter. She wiped her eyes and walked to the hallway and saw shadows in the glass panels on the front door. Her first thought was to quickly slip out the back door. She even stepped back into the kitchen. Spying the glass of wine she took it up in her hand. She could hear David’s deep voice. She drank from the glass and then resumed cutting onions, facing away from the hall. Her eyes were stinging and tearful.
They had done it. They were lovers. She shouldn’t mind. She said she wouldn’t mind.
She did mind. Her two favourite people had been having fun without her. It hurt. She couldn’t stop the way it hurt.
Were they in love?
She heard the door. David’s keys rattled and she braced herself.
‘Emma?’ called David from the door.
‘I’m in here.’
‘Do we have enough food for one more?’
Emma heard people talking. They were being ushered into the lounge room. She heard Sally’s voice, then David’s heavy tread as he made his way down the hallway. No, there were two sets of feet. She waited with back turned, tears streaming down her face, knife slowly dicing the onion.
David had reached the kitchen. Emma’s heart was pounding.
‘Look who I found out on the street.’
She turned around.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I wish to thank my agent and publisher for their much needed guidance. Thank you.
And love and thanks to my family, friends and above all my partner for supporting me throughout. Without your love and belief in me I would never have persisted. A big thank you and all my love.
Natasha Walker is a Sydney-based author who found writing her memoir confronting till she discovered the joys of fabrication.
Also by Natasha Walker
THE SECRET LIVES OF EMMA:
BEGINNINGS
Emma Benson is a free spirit. For her a good life means a life of sensuality.
So it’s a surprise to everyone when, at the age of thirty-two, she marries David, a successful businessman, and settles down in the suburbs.
One year on, and Emma’s trying so hard to be loyal to her man. Not easy to do when you’re passionate and uninhibited, and your inner world is one of fantasy and desire.
But then, while sunbathing in her garden, her neighbour’s eighteen-year-old son appears. And Emma has found her new project.
She will be his perfect teacher …
AVAILABLE NOW
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, including internet search engines or retailers, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including printing, photocopying (except under the statutory exceptions provisions of the Australian
Copyright Act 1968
), recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written permission of Random House Australia. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Version 1.0
The Secret Lives of Emma: Distractions
ePub ISBN 9781742758572
Copyright © Natasha Walker, 2012
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
An Arrow book
Published by Random House Australia Pty Ltd
Level 3, 100 Pacific Highway, North Sydney NSW 2060
www.randomhouse.com.au
Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at
http://www.randomhouse.com.au/about/contacts.aspx
First published by Arrow in 2012
National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry
Walker, Natasha.
The secret lives of Emma [electronic resource]: distractions
/ Natasha Walker.
ISBN 9781742758367 (ebook)
A823.4
Cover image courtesy Laura May Grogan/ImageBrief
Cover design by Christabella Designs
There’s so much more at
randomhouse.com.au
Table of Contents