Distractions (20 page)

when we get married, though.”

I couldn’t contain my smile. He had

asked me a few months ago in one of his

letters from rehab. I thought it was

because he was lonely and I was the

only person who would write him.

“And when will this wedding take

place, hmm?”

This was something he must have

put thought into, and I was right. He

shrugged his shoulders. “When we finish

school, probably, and I get a good job. I

will need to build a house for us, too,

somewhere. What?”

The smile on my face must have

looked crazy at what he was telling me.

“Well, you need to make sure it’s a little

log cabin in the woods. That’s all I

want.”

His brow furrowed in deep thought.

“A little log cabin – that’s all you want?

I could build us anything; you’re

allowed to dream big.”

I looked at the ground. It wasn’t

humility that caused me to wish for

something so humble. “Connor, you

should know by now I don’t need that.

My dreams include traveling the world; I

just always want a place to come back

to, that’s all.”

It sounded logical enough. “You

know you have to stay out of trouble,” I

reminded him.

Without missing a beat, he replied,

“So do you.”

The shower grew solemn for a few

moments as the reality set in. Less than a

year ago, we both were sent away at the

same time. He went to a rehab center

due to a failed drug test and I was sent to

my father’s after a near overdose. I

could remember so clearly the day it

happened, just as if it was yesterday. I

could still taste the metallic odor from

the crystals as they melted in the Pyrex

pipe, the acid smoke filling my lungs. I

remember us being up for three days

straight, sitting in my bedroom, listening

to music, drawing, or having sex. The

image of me walking out of the bedroom

flashed in my mind. I hit the ground and

started to seize. He stood over me,

screaming my name, just like tonight at

the river. I shook my head and braced

the wall.

“I’m sorry I went back.” The sobs

escaped my throat as I turned my back to

him. He quickly grabbed me as I started

to sink to the floor. He held me tightly

and rocked me as I cried. “I’m sorry, I’m

sorry!” I kept wailing repeatedly.

“Shh…,” he whispered in my ear,

“it’s going to be fine, it’s okay, and

you’re okay.”

I calmed down after a few minutes,

but he never moved from his crouched

position behind me. He lovingly stroked

my hair and shoulders. Kissing my

cheeks, he motioned for me to stand up.

His thumbs wiped under my red,

swollen eyes.

“I have somewhere to take you. We

need to get dressed.”

I simply nodded in agreement. He

left me to put warmer clothes on and dry

my long, wavy brown hair. I wasn’t sure

where we were headed, so I just knotted

it up into a sloppy bun and threw on a

pair of sneakers. He knocked on the door

and handed me a thick hooded jacket.

“Let’s go. Are you ready?”

Another nod and we headed back to

the truck. He placed two fingers in his

mouth to let out a sharp whistle. Within

moments, Penny was bounding towards

us. He popped open the back door of the

cab to let her hop up in the seat behind

us. A wet tongue licked up the side of

my cheek and my ear.

“Get her, Penny,” he coaxed with a

laugh.

The obedient sweetheart obliged

with many more swipes to my face.

“Okay, enough, girl, save some for

me.” He raised his eyebrows up and

down while giving me a wink.

Penny panted happily and circled

the

back

seat

before

finding

a

comfortable place to lie down. The sky

was pitch-black with no moon haze from

city lights. We headed out towards the

canyon and off onto a dirt road. Within a

half hour, we arrived at the spot he had

designated for our evening.

“Come on,” he said, opening his

door. He reached over and opened

Penny’s door. “Ladies first,” he said,

rubbing her back as she leaped down, all

while looking at me.

I popped open my door and stepped

around to the tailgate which he was

bringing

down.

A

tarp

covered

something large in the back, but I did not

think to ask what it was. The light in the

cab was bright enough to see there were

two large plastic tubs and a cooler.

Hopping up in the back, he reached

down for my hand to pull me up.

“You can help, you know.”

I sneered back, “I don’t even know

what we’re doing out here. You could be

burying me for all I know.”

Bringing his hand up to his chin,

scratching pensively, he said, “I hadn’t

thought of that. I could always change my

plans, you know.” I reached down and

pulled a lid off of one of the tubs and

smacked him on the leg with it. “Gawd,

you are a violent woman. I might have to

kill you before you kill me first.”

He gently rubbed the side of his

leg, on which I barely used any force.

“Ok, enough playing pansy. What

do you need me to do?” I placed my

hand on my hip in expectation of

direction.

“Here, unroll these foam pads and

put the sleeping bags on them. Can you

do that? Will it be too difficult? Are you

gonna break a nail or some shit?”

I couldn’t hide the face I made,

even in the dark. He howled loudly at

my reaction, grabbing his gut and falling

forward. I snapped the tub away from

him and proceeded to setup the back of

the truck. He took the second tub and

pulled out a few pillows and a blanket

for Penny. I sat on one of the sleeping

bags, watching as he settled. He had a

little battery powered lantern he turned

on before switching off the light in the

cab.

“What are we doing?” I asked

curiously.

“Hungry?” he replied while pulling

a few sandwiches and sports drinks from

the cooler.

“Oh my, yes, please!” I reached for

the food in his hands, which he snapped

back and brought close to his chest.

“Say it again, like you just did”.

“Give me my effing food before I

hurt you!” I raised up on both knees.

Pretending to cower in the corner,

he averted his eyes. “Please don’t hurt

me.”

As he held the sandwich up as a

form of surrender, I snatched it from his

grasp and quickly removed the baggie.

“We have to work on your anger

issues, girl.”

I glared over bites of my peanut

butter and jelly at him.

“I’m only like this with you,” I

replied through mouthfuls of food.

“Oh and such a lady, too,” he

quipped as I was happily chomping.

I stopped chewing and took a deep

gulp of my drink. I set down my

sandwich and slowly backed up against

the side of the bed on the wheel well. He

was wearing me down. I got grief from

everyone. I knew he was kidding, but it

was starting to feel like it wasn’t a joke

anymore. I dished it out harder than I

took it. He took the remaining half of my

sandwich and wrapped it up, then placed

it back in the cooler. He stood up and

pulled my hand so that I was standing

with him. He turned around to crouch for

a second; I did not realize there was a

small radio in the corner. He hit play on

the cd and the music started. He pulled

me close into a hug, then started to sway.

The familiar guitar strings played and

then I heard the deep voice of Johnny

Cash come out of the speakers

He held me tight as the song played.

I closed my eyes, trying to mentally

record the memory for later use. I took

note of the way the air felt, how he

smelled, his breathing as my head rested

on his chest. I could feel the rapid

beating of his heart as we moved in the

night, side to side.

“We didn’t get to go to prom, so I

brought prom to you,” he said quietly in

my ear.

My spirit burst with joy at the

thoughtful gesture. “I look terrible!” I

laughed.

“No, you don’t. You look beautiful,

like you always do. You don’t need a

fancy dress; it would have ended up on

the floor that night anyways.”

I couldn’t help but throw my head

back in exasperation.

“Always ready to ruin a perfectly

good moment aren’t you,” I sighed.

“Ahh, it’s okay, you haven’t even

seen the best part. It’s time!” He broke

away and encouraged me to sit down

with my back between his legs so I

could lie against him. The evening sky

was breathtaking. It appeared as though

the Creator took a hand full of diamonds

and sprinkled them on black velvet.

There were so many, you could almost

make out the belt of the Milky Way.

Every constellation was twinkling

brightly. As I took in the expanse in

wonder, I saw it. First there were a few,

and then all of a sudden, the sky burst

with streaks of silver across the horizon.

It was a meteor shower! A big one!

I squealed with excitement and

snuggled further into his chest. His hands

tightened around my waist, pulling me

close. I stopped for just a moment to

notice our breathing had fallen into

alignment. I rubbed the top of his hands

gently as we gazed into the night. The

celestial dance lasted for over an hour

before trickling back to calm skies.

Never before had I seen so many stars

shoot across my plane of view. I flipped

around to a heavily lidded boy, who was

taking me in with complete contentment.

“Did I do good?” he asked,

genuinely seeking approval.

I rolled around and leaned close to

his face. Lightly kissing him on the lips

for the first time in months, I was unsure

if I should. He hadn’t made one move on

me since he picked me up this morning.

He reached his hands into my hair,

pulling me closer and deepening the

kiss. Breaking just for a moment, I

looked into his eyes.

“You did amazing,” I breathed

against his mouth.

With a quick movement, he flipped

me beneath him. His hand caressed my

cheek as he stared at me.

“What?” I asked, wondering what

he could be thinking.

He gently kissed me again. “I

missed you so much, my heart hurt. Right

now, it doesn’t. It feels good.”

He was very quiet, savoring the

moment.

“Yes, it does,” I replied.

He rolled off to the side, pulling me

close so that my head was resting under

his chin. He tugged the other sleeping

bag over to cover us, then tapped the top

for Penny to come lay down. She

crawled on the other side, spooning me

in warmth. My hands rested under her

soft ears, scratching lightly. She backed

her head into me, encouraging more

affection.

“Penny missed you, too,” he said

while rubbing my arms.

Within

moments

the

deepest

slumber enveloped us all, under

heavenly skies which were looking

down at us. All was well, for now…

Chapter 19 - Wake-

up Call

I started having one of those dreams

where the subjects have taken on the

voices of sounds happening in your

waking life. Coming out of the dream

from the day at the bridge, I remained

suspended between both worlds. My

consciousness became aware of the ten

day weather forecast.

“It looks like more snow is headed

our way this morning, but Chinook

winds will transform this winter

wonderland into something more like a

balmy spring day. Temperatures will be

in the mid-sixties over the next two days,

so get out there and enjoy it, folks.”

The smell of coffee and bacon