Distract my hunger (13 page)

I
still
cannot
believe
how
I
fell
into
being
this
way!
How
could
I
ruthlessly
join
them
in
the
killing
of
my
people?
I’m
sure
to
be
damned
now.

Still
I
believe
that
fortune
spares
me
a
strange
turn
in
events,
I
don’t
know
why
but
I
believe
I
must
endure
in
this
loathsome
council
for
something
special
is
coming
our
way.
Oh
sweet
Goddess
please
forgive
me,
but
I
knew
that
doing
any
differently
would
have
cost
me
my
life
too.

Duncan
looked
as
damned
as
I
did
when
it
was
all
over.
I
could
see
in
his
eyes
that
something
had
broken
in
his
ancient
soul.
His
hidden
pain
just
made
me
like
him
more.
I
felt
such
sudden
attraction
when
I
saw
his
blood-drenched
face
holding
such
mournful
eyes.
He
looked
at
me
and
as
if
he
could
read
my
strongly
veiled
thoughts
he
silently
cried.
His
desolate
tears
ran
down
his
cheeks
washing
the
blood
away.
We
both
knew
that
if
we
ever
decided
to
be
together
it
would
most
definitely
mean
our
death.

The
Law
is
more
flexible
for
us
Council
members,
but
I
was
sure
on
the
spot
that
letting
myself
love
him
would
mean
our
death.

Why
did
I
decide
to
love
a
council
member?
Why
did
I
even
let
my
feelings
appear
in
such
woeful
times?
It
is
a
mystery,
but
I
will
fight
this
feeling
with
all
my
might.

Morgause
seemed
to
feel
nothing.
My
best
friend
let
me
down
once
again.
He
was
not
blood
thirsty
like
Liam,
or
vicious
like
Gwen
and
most
definitely
not
power-crazed
like
Aidan.
Still,
he
simply
seemed
not
to
care.

His
face
was
blank
while
his
blade
cut
through
vampire
flesh
and
he
kept
his
composure
all
the
time.
How
could
my
dear
friend
be
like
that?
Was
he
really
like
them?
Or
was
he
just
staying
alive
like
Duncan
and
I
were?
If
I
was
sure
that
he
was
on
our
side
we
could
stand
up
to
them,
three
against
three
made
the
odds
even.
I
want
to
believe
he
will
always
stand
up
for
me,
but
his
actions
made
me
doubt
our
bond’s
strength.
I
will
not
risk
it,
the
time
is
not
right.

I’ll
abide
by
our
rules
until
the
time
has
come.

I’m
in
love
yet
disgusted
with
all
this
killing,
I’m
heart-broken
and
desolate
for
my
best-friend’s
conduct,
and
I
have
to
restrain
myself
from
further
action.
I
feel
like
a
spy
within
my
own
home,
and
come
what
will
I’ll
deceive
them
till
the
time
has
come.
Till
the
time
has
come
for
what
I’m
still
not
sure
but
I
know
destiny
has
thrown
a
snowball
at
us
that
will
in
the
unknown
future
become
an
avalanche
 
.
 
.
 
.”