Distortions (13 page)

H
ale Hardy went to college because he couldn’t think of anything better to do, and he quit because he couldn’t see any reason to stay. He lasted one and a half years. He did not exactly quit; he was thrown out. When that happened he went to visit his sister Mary, who was living with another girl, Paula, who was being supported by some dude. Hale didn’t know the dude’s name, or why he was supporting her, or why his sister was living there. He just went.

The sunsets he saw from the dining-room window knocked him out. It got so he’d pull a chair up to the window and wait for them, starting about one in the afternoon. He had a long wait, so he read. Sometime during the winter his former English teacher sent him
Lolita
in care of his parents, and they sent it on. That book put women in his mind. He thought it might be a good idea to pick up some woman and drive across the country with her—take some woman to the Grand Canyon. Eat ice cream with some woman, peering into the Grand Canyon. If they sold ice cream there. They probably did. They sold ice cream at the Alamo.

He couldn’t keep one thought straight in his mind: first he’d be thinking about scoring some woman, then he’d be thinking about how good ice cream tasted, especially his favorite, French vanilla. Then he’d get up and eat—there was never ice cream in the place his sister was living, but there was a lot of other stuff—and then he’d sit down and wait for the sunset, trying to get through that long book, bogging down every few pages. He thought about writing his teacher. She couldn’t have been much older than he was. He always thought she liked him. She called everybody by their last name, but she called him Hale. She had big blue eyes. Nothing else about her was big. Would his skinny teacher be pleased to get a note from him? If he didn’t write, would he ever hear from her again? Yes; a postcard during the summer, from Seattle, Washington, saying that she was sailing around in a boat, which sure beat teaching. His mother forwarded that postcard with a comment: “If these are the people who are supposed to guide you, no wonder!!!” His mother put three exclamation points after everything; how much they were paying for heat, who was getting married, how many stray cats there were in New York City. Mary had nothing to do with their mother. Mary did not even refer to her
by name; it was always “that wasted life.” He agreed that his mother’s life had been wasted, but he didn’t hate her for that the way Mary did. He just didn’t know what to do about it. He couldn’t understand why such a sensible woman would name him Hale Hardy, though. And that was his mother’s idea, not his father’s, because he had checked. Why didn’t she go through with the joke and give him N for a middle initial? What was she thinking of? His mother said that she had no way of knowing that Harold would get turned into Hale. That was partly Mary’s fault, because when she was little she had trouble pronouncing Harold; it came out “Hal,” got changed to Hale.

He was not very hale and hearty, probably his body’s rebellion against such a nickname. He spent a lot of time reading Adelle Davis, trying to get together. Adelle never said what everybody was supposed to get together for, though.
Let’s Stay Healthy for Our Trip to the Grand Canyon
.

There was a woman who came to clean whose name was Gloria Moratto. She was a woman in her thirties, hired by Paula’s husband (turned out he was letting Paula use the house willed to him by an uncle). He told Paula that Gloria was pitiful. He felt sorry for her. Paula said that when her husband didn’t know what to make of women he just gave in to them. Hale couldn’t understand why she needed the job. She always had so much money. Money was stuffed in her purse, which she carried unfastened, and money fell out of her big apron as she cleaned, and she stuffed it back in the pockets the way people stuff used tissues away, hoping no one will notice. But it was easy to see why Paula’s husband took pity on her: Gloria Moratto was indeed a sorrowful creature. Her large body was carried by small, narrow feet, and it rose up precariously, like a funnel. Her shoulders were very wide; on a man they would have been comforting. The most amazing thing about her was her head. It was big, accentuated by curly black hair bushing around it. Her eyes were big. Her mouth. But you could hardly see either because of the curly black hair. One time when Gloria came she had streaked her hair; the white and black was astonishing, like a skunk. He thought of her, then, as an animal, and watched with fascination as she did her work.
He imagined that this huge, strangely shaped woman would be capable of building a beaver dam. She vacuumed, polished, scrubbed, dusted, carried away trash, put things in their proper places, washed dishes, did the laundry. This amazing animal woman came every Friday and worked all day.

*

Hale wanted very much to see the Grand Canyon. When he was a child he had begged ceaselessly to see the Alamo until his mother told his father that either Hale would go to the Alamo or she was leaving forever. His father went with him to Texas, bought him an Alamo comb and two ice-cream cones. They stayed overnight, ate breakfast in a restaurant that looked like the inside of a barn, then went home. He treasured his Alamo comb. They bought an Alamo pin for Mary, which Hale could tell she didn’t like. His father said that was to be expected; it was just nice to bring his sister a remembrance. Hale learned: you can give people things they don’t like, and that’s still nice. Hale was nuts about his comb. When his hair didn’t need to be combed he’d stick it in his cowlick and just leave it there. What happened to that comb? Were there Grand Canyon combs?

Hale wanted to go to the Grand Canyon, but not alone. He would need someone to go along to verify that it was really happening, to take pictures of him standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon. His sister was not about to budge; it seemed that she loved Paula’s ex-husband, who made regular visits, ostensibly to check up on Gloria’s housekeeping. During his visits Paula left the house and so did Hale. Actually, he was kicked out. They didn’t want Paula’s ex-husband to know there was a man living there, so he and Paula would go into town and wait it out. One night Hale asked if she would like to go to the Grand Canyon. She had already seen it, when she was thirteen, and again when she was sixteen. He asked if there were a lot of stands that sold tourist crap. Yes; all along the road. She sighed. The landscape was being ruined. He sighed. She did not want to go with him.

That left Gloria, who was the only other person he knew in Connecticut. And what were the chances that the amazing animal woman, that woman of perseverance and strength, was
going to pick up and go to the Grand Canyon with him? They were slim. Especially since she avoided talking to him. At least they were slim until he found out about her weakness. Her weakness was cats, and she loved to talk about how independent and smart and cute they were. She owned five cats. Hale found out about it from Paula, who found it out from Mary, who got the word from Paula’s ex-husband. Why any of them bothered to talk about it was something else. He went to the Humane Society and got another one for her, a cat that came with a blue collar that matched its blue eyes. “La la la,” Gloria sang, and the cat responded by turning his head to listen instead of jumping out of her arms. She gave it a dollar bill to play with, money wrinkled and twisted from being carried a long time in that deep apron pocket. The cat pounced on it, stuck his nose under it. Gloria had a new cat. His friendship with Gloria was beginning. From the living-room window a red-and-violet sunset flashed upon the sky.

*

Hale daydreams of Gloria, her paw-feet, her cat-eyes, only big, b-i-i-i-i-i-g. She is so competent; she will share the driving; her hand will be steady around the camera. Later, they would have lots of little kittens. It would be their house she took care of. No more exploitation of Gloria; let Paula and Mary keep house for themselves. On her birthday a little Siamese kitten; for Christmas an Angora. The pitter-patter of little paws. Cats, too: regal, willful, splendid cats. To broach the subject …

*

She might be willing to go to the Grand Canyon, but she would never marry him. She harbors a secret love? She says not. She says all her sisters are married and unhappy. One sister goes to a clinic for unhappiness. One brother-in-law, not married to that sister, also goes to unhappiness meeting.

“Group therapy, Gloria?”

“Yes. That’s what I’m saying.”

“The Grand Canyon is in the opposite direction from Niagara Falls.”

She is not convinced.

“Paula and Mary and their dirty, dirty house. They exploit you.”

“What’s that?”

“They don’t keep their own house clean.”

“That’s right. I have to clean for them.”

“They exploit you. There’s no reason they can’t do it themselves. Paula and Mary are strong, aren’t they?”

“Paula is divorced. Not strong.”

“Paula is not too weak to take care of herself. We’re talking about dust, Gloria. Getting rid of dust. Isn’t it easy to clean up dust?”

Gloria dusts and listens.

“My sisters all got married and they are all unhappy.”

“Not getting married. Just taking a trip.”

“Immoral.”

“A trip is immoral?”

“Sex.”

“You don’t have to sleep with me on the trip.”

“I would sleep with you if you loved me. I don’t think you’re in love with me.”

“I am, Gloria. I am.”

“I’ll think about it.”

She pouts with her big lips.

“At least sleep with me here, Gloria.”

She says she is willing to do that. Hale and Gloria go upstairs and lie down on the bed she has made earlier in the day. He gets on top of her big body. Over her head there is a window. The sky has begun to pale, a romantic pink. Gloria’s body is pink. The sky gets pinker and pinker. How beautiful the sunsets must be over the Grand Canyon. Hale is looking at George Washington. A dollar fell out of some of Gloria’s clothing. Gloria brushes her hair out of her eyes and says she wants to take Hale home with her. Why? “To think about going to the Grand Canyon with you.” “I want to come home with you, Gloria, but how will my being there help you think?” “I will see you and think of you.” “You’re going to go to the Grand Canyon with me, aren’t you?” Hale clutches Gloria’s thigh. “Come home and let me think about it.”

Paula and Mary do not speak to Gloria and Hale when they come downstairs. Hale senses that he is no longer welcome in the house—good he has somewhere to go. He wonders if there will be sunsets out Gloria’s window. Gloria sings a happy tune, swinging her arms at her side, stubbornly refusing to hold hands: “La la la dum dum la la la.”

*

There are cats all over Gloria’s house. She loves them all, calls them to her, spoon-feeds her kitten. The cats walk across the table, superior, aggressive. He knows a few of the names: Mister Tom, Lucky, Antonio, Prince. Some are the offspring of others. She explains the lineages and he forgets as fast as she speaks. Her newest, the cat he gave her, has been named Blue Boy. It is the Superman of cats, that jumps suddenly into action, leaping from chair to table to floor. Hale watches the cats and they watch him. At night one of them mews; Prince, they think. He has never really felt a fondness for cats, and he does not like them better now that he lives with them. He thinks about getting rid of one of them; Prince, he thinks.

He asks Gloria when they can leave. She wants to know if there is a best time to go West. He tells her now, now is the best time, and she says she is thinking hard. She sits and looks puzzled. Her sisters call all the time, whining with unhappiness. Gloria strokes a passing cat, shakes her head, picks cat hair out of her slacks when things get tense.

“What do your sisters have to do with your taking a trip? I’ve already said it doesn’t mean marriage. Can’t we take a trip?”

One of her sisters took a trip, then married the man. Gloria sulks. A cat rubs against Hale’s legs. He has to feed the cats. From a dark corner, small green eyes stare.

*

“You don’t really love me. Why do you want to take this trip?”