Disruptor (17 page)

Finally the back door of the shelter opened.
Kevin stepped outside. He looked like she felt. Ripped open, salt
in every wound. A long way down into a private darkness. God, she
knew too well what that felt like. She’d been so far down in her
own darkness for so long, she wasn’t sure she remembered what
daylight was like. Right then she knew only two things: she didn’t
want to be a ghost, and she didn’t want to be alone in the dark
anymore.

Dani ran to him.

Kevin folded Dani into his arms, stumbling a
bit under the impact of her body with his. She was solid and warm
and trembled so hard it scared him. He whispered in her ear, “What
happened?”

“Nothing,” she said. “Let’s get out of here.”
She pulled out of his embrace and took his hand, leading the way to
the car.

A block from the shelter, he glanced at her
and didn’t like the thousand yard stare and tense, withdrawn body
language he saw. “Are you okay?”

It took just long enough for her to answer
that he thought she’d either not heard him, or ignored him. “I
don’t want to be a ghost.”

“It’s just something people came up with to
call you. They had to call you something. It doesn’t mean
anything.”

“But it does, doesn’t it? Ghosts aren’t real.
And even if they are, there’s no point to them. They might be out
in the world, but they’re not living in it.”

What had brought this on? “You’re a long way
from pointless, Dani. You help people. That’s what got people
talking about you in the first place.”

“Every night I would tell myself I was going
to mind my own business. But then I’d hear someone screaming for
help, or I’d hear about something going down. And I’d wind up right
in the middle of it.”

“You’ve saved people’s lives,” he said. “You
saved mine.”

“You say that, and maybe it’s even true.
Those guys were pretty intent on hurting you that night. Do you
think that it’s enough? I mean, maybe I did save your life. Maybe
even the lives of a few more people. But nothing really changes
down here in the South Side. In any place like this. There’s always
corruption. So much violence, God, so much. People treated like
they’re disposable. Women treated like property. None of that ever
changes.”

Kevin pulled the car off the street and
parked in a dark lot next to a boarded up building. “You’re talking
about changing the world. Saving one person may not change the
world, but so what? You save one life, you’re not just affecting
that one person. There’s all the people who love that person, who
will love that person in the future. All the people who will be
affected by the loss of that one guy you saved. Family. Friends.
You may have saved somebody with a child, Dani. That would mean you
did save the world, for that child.”

“I never meant to save anybody. I just wanted
out of the lab.” She stared out the car window into the dark.

Kevin unbuckled his seat belt and moved
closer to her. “What’s wrong, Dani?”

For nearly a full minute she continued to
stare out the window at nothing. He waited patiently, not wanting
to push. He placed a hand on her shoulder, just to remind her that
she wasn’t alone. Maybe to remind himself, too.

“People call me a ghost. And you know what?”
She turned to face him, her eyes bright in the dim light. “I feel
like one. Like I’m barely alive. Like I’m not even real.”

He moved closer still and cupped her cheek.
“You’re alive.” A gravity that existed just between the two of them
opened up and pulled him closer, so close he could taste the scent
of her skin in the back of his throat. “Your heart beats and you’re
breathing and you’re solid and very, very real.” Eyes half-closed,
he traced her jawline with the tip of his nose, breathing her in
deep.

“Prove it,” she whispered. “Make me believe
it.”

In the space of a heartbeat he thought of all
the reasons why he should back off and drive them home. So many
reasons, all of them good and none of them convincing. He touched
his lips to hers, a soft, barely-there caress. But the touch was a
lit match and she exploded like wildfire. She wrapped her arms
around him, fingers digging into his scalp and tugging on his hair
as she deepened the kiss to something hot and carnal and exactly
what he’d wanted since his first good look at her. She plunged her
tongue into his mouth, her teeth nipping at his lips. Sharp little
curls of pain from his lips and scalp bloomed into lust that roared
through his body.

She left her seat and climbed into his lap.
One sensation blurred into another. Hands everywhere, his and hers.
If she had the presence of mind to hold back her enhanced strength,
he couldn’t tell it. He’d have bruises tomorrow, on his arms where
she squeezed, his back where her fingers stabbed and raked. His
hips, where she ground herself against him. He rose to meet her,
seeking her warmth and her strength and even her violence.

He was scared of her, and it turned him on
like nothing ever had.

He bit her earlobe, tugging slightly. “I need
to know you want this.”

“I do.” She shrugged out of the jacket of his
she wore then slid her hands up his chest. “God, do I.”

He gentled her with soft, firm kisses. She
responded with a frustrated groan. He gathered her hair in one hand
then pulled, hard.

That earned him a gasp of pleasure.

He nipped her bared throat with his teeth
then soothed the spot with a kiss. “Tell me to stop and I
will.”

She pulled free of his grip and placed her
hands on the seat back on either side of his head. “You haven’t
even gotten started yet.” Then she did a nasty little bump and
grind on his lap that made his entire body throb. He reached
between them to fumble with her clothes.

She rose on her knees, hands at the fly of
her jeans. “Condom?”

“Console.”

“You take care of that, I’ll take care of
these pants.” She returned to her seat and began to remove her
boots and jeans. He stared for a moment, not quite believing this
was happening. Then he snapped back into the moment and retrieved a
condom from the center console.

Her shirt was still on and hung too low and
he wanted to touch her all over but couldn’t, because they were in
the front seat of his freaking car. He wanted to see her but barely
could, because they were parked in a dark lot in a dangerous part
of town. He wanted to stretch her out on a bed and take his time
learning her body, what she liked, what she needed. Shower her with
tenderness and all the sensual pleasure she’d been denied. But he
couldn’t because what he needed right then was to have her any way
he could get her.

She straddled his lap, hands on either side
of his head again. Their eyes met and even in the darkness the
intensity of her gaze scorched him. Starting at where her knees met
the leather seat, he traced his fingertips up her thighs. Her skin
was soft and smooth and she shivered slightly at his touch. He
opened his mouth to speak and she shook her head. Then she lowered
herself on to him and he forgot what he was going to say.

Enveloped in the wet heat of her, all
thoughts of tenderness were wiped out, replaced with a blazing
white-hot need that had no words. She rose slightly and he gripped
her hips and yanked her back down, eliciting a gasp from both of
them. What little control he had left snapped. He bucked up into
her, hard and fast and with absolutely no finesse. She met him
thrust for rough, bruising thrust.

The grimy yellow headlights of a passing car
illuminated her face. Eyes half closed. Lost in sensation. Alive.
God, so alive. Beautiful in such a raw, wild way, like a flower
blooming in the wrong place. Then it was dark again and the sound
of her ragged breathing filled his ears.

He ran his hands up and down her thighs,
inside her shirt, everywhere he could reach skin. He stroked her
lips, groaning when she bit his thumb. Caressed her cheeks, the
column of her throat, the nape of her neck. Wound the silk of her
hair around his fingers. She kept her own hands on the back of the
seat as she rose and fell and wouldn’t meet his gaze anymore. As if
she needed some measure of distance. But that felt like pretense
when she whispered his name as her body tensed.

Kevin slid one hand between their bodies,
searching for just the right spot. When he found it she cried out
louder, throwing her head back. Her body clenched around him and he
shut his eyes against the intense onslaught of his own orgasm. Dani
slumped against him, breathing hard. Both of them trembling. He
held her, and it wasn’t a gentle embrace. He drew her tight to his
chest and wrapped his arms around her. He might not have been as
strong as she was, with all her enhancements, but he used his own
strength now, trying to say things he was pretty sure she wouldn’t
want to hear.

I don’t want to let you go.

I don’t want to let you go.

Hunger finally drove Dani from the guest
room. She tiptoed downstairs. Maybe she could grab some food while
he was busy with something or other, and they could avoid the
inevitable awkwardness. She’d spent most of the night tossing and
turning, mentally castigating herself for taking advantage of
Kevin. There could be nothing between them, for so many reasons.
But in a moment of weakness she’d given in to desire. No, worse
than that – need. Wanting something and not taking it, that was
easy for her. But needing, no, she didn’t like that. Not one bit.
Mostly because she couldn’t afford it. The longer she stayed in
Point Sable, the more likely it was that she would be found. She
didn’t want him caught in the crossfire of that kind of mess.

Kevin rounded the corner just as she
approached the kitchen, causing them to nearly collide. She jumped
back, looking everywhere but at him. So much for sneaking a bagel
and slipped back upstairs.

“Good morning.” His voice was a caress she
didn’t want to like. “Sleep okay?”

It was easy to lie while staring at a spot on
the wall. “Yeah, you?”

“No.” He didn’t elaborate.

Damn it. Why the hell did she ask him? She
skipped her gaze from the wall to his chest, thankfully covered by
a soft green t-shirt, the floor and then a brief glimpse of his
face. That was a mistake.

His vivid blue eyes burned with a greater
intensity than usual. “Look.”

She threw up a hand. “No.”

“No what?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. There’s
nothing to talk about. It was a thing that happened, and it was
really great, sure, but there’s no sense in making too much of it.”
Did she really say
great
out loud? It was the truth. Hell
yeah, it was the truth, but maybe he didn’t need to know that.

He nodded and lowered his head. “I was going
to go with amazing but great works too.” He gave her a sly look
under his long lashes, full lips twitching slightly with a
repressed smile.

Dani steeled herself against the temptation
to cover those luscious lips with her own. “This is not a good
idea. I mean, one time was okay, but, you know.” She stopped,
because she didn’t know. Didn’t know what she was saying, or
doing.

Kevin raised his head and drew in a deep
breath. “We’re both adults. I knew the score. If you don’t want it
to happen again, I’ll respect your decision.” He stepped to the
right as if to pass her, getting oh so close but not touching.
“Just know my bedroom door is open for as long as you’re here.” He
paused, and the warmth of his body heat threatened her resolve.
“Should you decide you do want it to happen again.”

She cast her eyes downward, staring at his
hand which hung inches from her side. His fingers twitched and she
knew he wanted to touch her. All she had to do was say something,
turn her body toward his, make the slightest move that spoke of
desire and he would have her against the wall in seconds. She
blinked, and an image of him pinning her to the wall filled her
vision.

But it brought up a tangle of emotions that
she didn’t expect. Desire, yes – after last night, that was a
given. Confusion and fear and even a little guilt mixed with it.
Quickly the guilt bloomed into something bigger than the rest,
bigger than everything else in her head. What right did she have to
even a moment’s happiness? Dani moved away, unable to meet his
eyes. She balled her hands into fists and made her way to the
kitchen.

He didn’t follow.

After a quick breakfast she barely tasted,
she returned to her room and dressed. She found her phone and
opened it to check the hashtag but the battery had died, so she
plugged it in and went in search of another device.

Kevin sat at his desk, reading something on
the screen of his laptop. An open notebook sat by his elbow and he
dangled a pen from one hand. She watched him for a long moment,
unsure of how to approach him after so clearly rejecting him
earlier. They were both adults, as he’d said himself. Maybe the
best thing to do was just move on.

Besides, she needed a sounding board. “I
think I might have really screwed up, showing those Russian girls’
pictures around so much.”

Kevin swiveled his chair around. “How do you
figure?”

She shrugged. “Put too much attention on
them, maybe. They’re already running scared. If they hear about
some woman looking for them, they could just assume I work for the
traffickers. Go even deeper underground.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Me neither.” She moved further into the room
but didn’t sit. Too restless to be still. “I don’t know what I’m
doing.”

“What do you want to do?”

“You know what I want. Stop the Russian. Help
those girls.”

“You may have to make a choice. You don’t
know what you’re doing. I don’t either. I’m as new to this whole
sidekick thing as you are to the superhero thing.”