Dishonor Thy Wife (27 page)

I waited for her answer, swaying on my feet and staring from
bloodshot eyes haggard from drink and fatigue. I locked my eyes with hers,
demanding her response, staring at her from the same blue eyes of her dead
husband, a brother I murdered.
I did it for you, Ronni. I killed for you, to
protect you.
I showed her more than once my love for her by the notes with
the roses.

She took a deep, raspy breath. “You can never, ever get me
to say I care about you, Jayden. I love you Jayden. You may seduce my body but
never my mind, soul, or heart.” Her eyes flashed daggers. “What about Barbie,
Jayden?”

She called me by my name just so there was no mistake that
she was talking about me, so there could be no confusion about who slept with
Barbie when Jayden was dallying in Austin pretending to be Brad.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said.

“The phone sex? The clever little ploy when you pretended
you did not know Barbie was Brad’s girlfriend. You slept with Brad’s wife, surely
you must have kept Brad’s girlfriend happy when you were in Austin posing as
your brother. Barbie would be less of a moral lapse than a wife, less of a
guilt trip, and more pleasurable. After all, who can resist the exquisite
Barbie?”

“She’s not exquisite,” I said in a flat voice. “You have
nothing to be jealous of. Barbie is nothing to me. I do admit she threw herself
at me, but I never fucked her.”

“No, you fucked me over.” She shook her head and tears clouded
her eyes. “I would have to care about you to be jealous.”

I brought my face closer to hers and emphasized my words. “I
don’t want any other woman. Only you. Just you.”

“I don’t care a fig about you, Jayden Tremblay,” and her
bottom lip trembled.

“Stay with me.”

“I...I...I have to go.”

“Get to know me.” I reached out a hand and touched her cheek
as if she was a rare flower.

“I hate you!”She slapped my hand away and slung her purse
across her shoulder.

I did not try to stop her from leaving nor even ask where
she was staying.

JAYDEN

I poured another drink. I was back to before she ever rang my
doorbell and feeling even more sorry for myself.
Ronni
left me with a hurting heart. I had wanted her to care about me, respect me,
and say that she thought I was a decent human being.

There was nothing I could do or say that would make her not
resent me. She was right—a creep is a creep is a creep by any other name, by
any disguise.

I did not want to think about the niece I left behind, the
most innocent one in our charade. Traci felt like a daughter and abandoning her
caused guilt, loss, and grief.

The doorbell rang again.

I flung the door open and then leaned casually against the
door, one eyebrow lifted, hiding my pain behind an arrogant mask.

“Oh, get that grin off your face,
you jackass,” Ronni said. “My, uh, cell phone is dead. Can I borrow your phone
so I can call a taxi?”

“I'll take you to your hotel.”

“Your offer of a ride is unnecessary,”
she stuttered.

“Oh, I think it is a necessity. You
came all the way to Canada on my account. The least I can do is drive you safely
back to your hotel.”

I grabbed her arm and escorted
her into the garage. I slammed my fist against the garage door opener and the
heavy door opened, letting moonlight shine into the garage.

After treating her roughly, I opened
the passenger car door and bowed like a gentleman.

Ronni merely stood there watching
me mock her and rubbing her arms as if she froze inside.

“Are you afraid to ride in a car
with me, Ronni?” I secretly fumed at her mistrust. I could have screwed her
earlier when she lay on the couch helpless or when she leaned against the door,
moaning for me. It had taken all my self-control to resist my urges. I could no
longer settle for just sex with Ronni. From now on, she would have to come to
me of her own free will. I was tired of skulking about,
her words
, and hiding
under an umbrella. I really intended to drive Ronni back to her hotel, leave
her there for good, and get on with life.

I pushed her onto the car seat immediately regretting my
rough treatment.

“Your car is a black Mercedes, just like Brad's car,” she
said in a nervous voice.

I patted the hood of the car. “The devil's transport. Like
all identical twins, Brad and I have, had, a lot in common. We were once the
same zygote in our mother’s womb until we split in two. He went his way and I
went mine, but we both ended up buying the same year and model. We have the same
tastes.”

“Like having phone sex with Barbie Simpson,” she muttered.

“That was Brad, not me.” I slammed the car door shut and the
car rocked on its tires.

I floored the gas and backed out
of the garage rather recklessly. “Put on your seat belt; it’s going to be a rough
ride.”

Her hands were shaking when she
snapped on the seat belt.

“Ronni, why did you come all the way to Canada to see me? Do
you personally visit everyone in Brad’s viewing book from the funeral home to
thank them for coming to the services?”

“I saw your name and address much earlier on Brad’s travel
bag with Air Canada travel tags. The bag had a bloody knife in it.”

My leg tensed and the Mercedes gained speed.

“Did you know Brad had a wife in Canada?” she said.

“Yes,” I said and my voice sounded strained. “I prefer not
to talk about Vanessa.”

“Yes,” she said in a flat voice, “I know what Brad did.”

We drove the rest of the way in
silence but I was aware of her seated beside me every millimeter of the way.
I felt her the way I sensed my own heart beating, my
own lungs breathing, and my own brain jumping about.

In no time at all, I jerked the car onto the parking lot of
the Chateau Victoria Hotel.

“How did you know where I'm
staying?” she said suspiciously.

I reached into my pocket, yanked out a business card of the
hotel, and threw the card at her. “This dropped out of your purse,” I snapped. “So
you see, Ronni, I know where you're staying anyway, whether I give you a ride
or not.” I twisted the car into a parking spot and slammed on the brake. “Are
you still frightened?” I leaned across to her, one hand on the steering wheel, my
other arm across the seat, and my thumb a hairline away from her neck.

“No.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“You little liar,” I said, chuckling.
“You're scared of how I make you feel.”

“Shut up,” she said and I laughed
even harder, crueler, recalling her words.
As long as you get what you want,
to hell with the rest of us. You are just like your brother, a selfish spoiled
brat who thinks of no one but himself.

Why deny myself what I know she
really wanted? She was tense from my presence, tied up in knots. Sex would ease
the tenseness she was feeling and relax her body so she would be numb and
tingly all over.

Ronni accused me of being a selfish
spoiled brat and to hell with everyone else. I would never hear any kind words
from her and certainly did not need any more shit from her. I should just live
down to her expectations, and think of myself, my wants, my needs, and I needed
her so desperately I ached. All my blood seemed to rush to one part of my body
so that I was heavy and filled with lust for her.

I would never see Ronni again after tonight any way. She
would fly out of my life. Why not say good-bye to my beloved sister-in-law with
fireworks? One more time for the road, for old time's sake, right here in the
car, in
my
car, not my brother’s vehicle.

The
parking spot was dark and deserted. Maybe self-consciously I chose to be alone
in the dark with her. Things were already so wrong between us what did it
matter? If she thought me a monster, then why not be one? Why not act like an
animal with her in my black Mercedes where she was practically tied to the seat
to get her to be alone with me?

Her proximity and the smallness of our surroundings made my
head spin. The air in the car was narrow and I could smell her sweat pouring
into my own skin mixing with my own body fluids, causing my blood to pound even
harder, to rush even faster. There. To the center of my being, to that part of my
universe that wanted, needed, so desperately to make love to her.

My heavy breathing must have
signaled my intentions. She grabbed the door handle but I was faster. I pushed
the
lock
button on the driver's seat and then the
child-lock
button, trapping her.

She mewed in fright when I turned
on the seat to face her, the leather of the seat squeaking like her heart.

I pinched her chin, twisting her head to look at me. “Say my
name.” My voice sounded as if my tongue was swollen. “Say it.”

“Jay...Jayden.” My name came out
like a moan.

I unbuckled my seat belt and
reached an arm across, unbuckling her belt. I left my hand on her hip, and her
breathing grew shallow, hot, raspy.

I massaged her hip feeling the heat of her skin through her
skirt. She was burning up for me.

I pulled her towards me and she
did not resist.

I lowered my head to hers, gently kissing her lips.

She surprised me by clutching my shoulders and pushing her
mouth tighter against my lips, shoving her tongue in my mouth. She reached for
my belt buckle.

Ah, she is horny hot, burning
up for me.
I poked beneath her skirt and she ripped my shirt open.

She was moist and weeping, wanting
more, as if she could not get enough of me. She whimpered, begging me to make
love to her, humping her crotch against my hand.

I
crawled over the armrest, pushed the seat down, and lay on top of her, grinding
against her. “Ronni,” I breathed into her ear. “Say that you want me, Jayden.
Let me hear the words. Say it. Say my name.”

She lifted her hands and pounded my back with weak fists.
She was not resisting me. Her hits were fuck-me punches. Her fists began to slow
even as the lower half of her body grew stronger and pushed towards me. She craved
me inside her and her leg moved between mine.

My fingers crawled beneath the band of her panties rubbing
her until she was panting, nearly crying. I removed my hand and she begged me
not to stop.

I rested my weight on the seat
and she grabbed me by my shirt, pulling me even closer. “I...want you, Jayden.
Please.”

“Say that you need me as much as
I need you,” I said in a raw voice. “Say it. Say my name.”

“Damn you, Jayden,” she moaned. “Damn
you for touching me.
Damn you for your lips against
my neck, your hand rubbing my hair, your body pressing into mine.
Damn you for your smell. Your touch.”

I was assaulting her senses, knocking
down her defenses. She was moist there, crying there for me, wanting more of me,
all of me. I humped against her, making sure she felt my arousal rubbing against
her clit almost bringing her to the summit and then I stopped moving.

“I...I need you, Jayden. Please.
Please.” She pushed her body upwards towards me, begging me, breathless, her
chest heaving, her fingers pulling at me, grabbing me, trying to force me to
make love to her.

I was not stupid enough to ruin
the moment by trying to make her say she loved me. Instead, I gave her what she
wanted, what she was begging him for, what we both needed.

And it seemed right. The act was
beautiful. It seemed like love, unlike seduction, until she said the words...

“I hate you, Jayden.” She spit the
words at me when we were both sated, while she straightened her clothes.

I cringed at her words while zipping
up my pants. My hands shook because though I may have the power to make her
want me, she had the power to hurt me, to cut my heart in two. I was tired, so
damned tired.

I slammed my fist on the
unlock
button of the car, and
before Ronni could open the door I leaped out of the seat and was already
there, yanking her door open.
“Get out,” I told her
a lot rougher than intended.

Ronni would have tripped over my
shoes had I not taken a step back to avoid any contact.

I hung my head like a kicked dog and
tucked my shirt into my pants. I continued to look at the pavement and said, “Don’t
be frightened of me, Ronni. I would never intentionally hurt you.”

“You already have,” she said and
slammed the car door. She was crying.

I heard her tears and felt her
sorrow cutting me like a knife. I could not look at her as I shuffled around
the car with my head bowed low and shoulders slumped. I wanted to let her know
how much I loved her, but Ronni acted as though I took her against her will.
Why did I always feel such guilt with this woman, even now that she knew whom I
really was? Ronni had begged me to make love to her. She called me by
my
name. She begged Jayden to take her.

I pounded the steering wheel with my fist instead of beating
my head.
What devil came over me that I seduced her—again?
Why did I
have to prove my power over her?
Because she hurt me by saying, she
could never love me.

My own eyes were damp when I
started up the car.
I sped away and left Ronni
standing in the parking lot, hugging her purse to her breast, watching me leave
her.

As if she gives a damn about me,
I thought, wallowing
in self-pity.
I did not even tell her good night. I
just used her like some cheap whore and then kicked her out of the car.
Yeah,
I really love you, Ronni.
I made her feel dirty, like a lusty teenager with
raging hormones, in my car of all places, my black Mercedes, the devil's car. I
swore to take the car in tomorrow and trade it in!

Only…only, the upholstery now smelled like Ronni.

Oh, Jesus, now what! I could not get the picture out of my
mind of
Ronni limping in the parking lot over to the
hotel because like a tarnished Cinderella, she left behind one high-heel shoe
in my car.

One shoe to kick me in the ass and make me feel like an even
bigger heel than I already was!