Disgrace and Desire (11 page)

Even in the dim light he could make out the long lashes fanned out on her pale cheeks. Now those lashes fluttered and lifted slightly. Jack put two fingers under her chin and gently
pushed her head up. He said softly, ‘My lady, will you not cry friends with me?’

She met his eyes for a moment, her own so dark and liquid he thought he might drown in them.

‘Not friends,’ she said quietly. ‘Too many harsh words have been exchanged for that. But it would be better for our hosts if we were not always arguing,’

He smiled, his spirits lifting a little.

‘A truce, then. And if I can help you discover who is sending those letters—’

‘No.’ She was withdrawing from him again. ‘I would not have you concern yourself with that.’

Jack was tempted to argue but he resisted: if she was not willing to confide in him then he would not force her. With time and patience he would win her round, he was sure of it. His instinct was to protect her. He wanted to carry her off, to shelter her from every ill wind. She was, after all, the widow of a valued comrade. With a little nod he stepped back.

‘Very well. But if you need my assistance, you only have to ask.’ He lifted his head, listening to the quiet strains of the pianoforte drifting from the long gallery. ‘They are dancing again. Do you wish to return?’ She gave a little shake of her head and his mouth twisted into a rueful smile. ‘No, nor I.’ Jack held out his arm to her. ‘Perhaps a stroll through the gardens, until you are more composed? There is a full moon tonight.’

Eloise opened her mouth to refuse, but it was as if someone else was controlling her voice.

‘Thank you, I would like that.’

Moments earlier she had been wishing Jack Clifton at Jericho, now she was taking his arm and accompanying him outside. The passage door opened on to a small cobbled yard at the far side of which a narrow gate in the low wall led the
way into the rose garden. The bushes were overgrown with only a few late-summer blooms hanging on, but even so it looked beautiful in the moonlight. The only sound was the occasional cry of a fox from the park and the soft crunch of the gravel beneath their feet. Eloise felt her tension draining away. Despite their differences, Jack Clifton was the one man at Renwick Hall she was sure she could trust.

‘You seem to know your way about the house very well, Major.’

‘Renwick and I are old friends. I have stayed here many times before when I have been on leave.’

‘I understand you have quit the army now. What will you do?’

‘Yes, I have sold out. I have no family, My father died just a year ago, leaving me a pretty little property in Staffordshire, Henchard. It needs some work but it is a snug little house and the land could be very profitable, I think. Did I not tell you I shall become a gentleman farmer?’

She smiled at that.

‘Yes, I remember, but somehow I cannot imagine it!’

‘Oh? How do you see me?’

She thought for a moment.

‘As an adventurer.’

It was Jack’s turn to laugh. Eloise liked the sound, it was deep and rich and dangerously attractive. Just like the man.

‘I have had enough of adventure. It is time I settled down.’

She nodded. He was a man of means, it would be very sensible to settle down, marry and have children. Her head jerked up. The thought of Jack taking a wife hit her with such force she felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over her.

He stopped.

‘Is something wrong? Are you cold, do you want to go indoors?’

‘N-no, a sudden chill, nothing more,’ she said quickly. ‘Do let us continue, the gardens have a different kind of beauty in the moonlight.’

‘Very well, but I cannot have you catching cold.’

He shrugged himself out of his coat and placed it around her, his hands resting on her shoulders for a moment. The action was so personal, so intimate that Eloise was obliged to set her jaw hard to stifle a gasp. The air, so calm a moment ago, now seemed charged with expectation. She knew a brief disappointment when he stepped back and waited for her to stroll on. She stole a glance at him. An exquisitely tailored waistcoat hugged his body, accentuating the broad shoulders. She was dazzled by the whiteness of his billowing shirtsleeves and the tumbling folds of his neckcloth. She found her eyes wandering down the tapering form. The slim hips and flat abdomen drew her attention, as did the strongly muscled thighs outlined by the pantaloons. Swallowing, she dragged her gaze back to his face, but the sight of his clean, chiselled jaw and raven-black hair gave her no relief from the sudden fire that was engulfing her. She realised Jack was watching her, a faint, glinting smile in his eyes. Heavens, had she considered him an adventurer? He was far more dangerous than that! She looked away and began to walk again, this time at a much quicker pace.

‘We should not linger, sir, or it is you who might catch a chill. I see a balustrade directly ahead of us. Is that the end of the garden?’

‘Yes, it runs along a high ridge. There is a fine view of the park from that point.’

Eloise walked on. The scrunch of the gravel beneath her firm step was reassuringly crisp and business-like. The major
had fallen in beside her, his long legs allowing him to take a much more leisurely stride.

‘I understand Mortimer will be joining us tomorrow.’ His voice was perfectly calm. ‘Renwick tells me you particularly asked that he should be invited.’

‘Yes.’ Had she told him the real reason for coming here? She could not recall. ‘I did not wish to find myself here without any good friends to keep me company. Of course, I did not know then that
you
would be here.’

Eloise winced: that was just such a flirtatious remark as he might expect from her. She glanced up. Jack’s smile had disappeared, and he was looking directly ahead, his lips pressed firmly together. She sighed and huddled beneath his coat. She turned her head to rub her cheek against the lapel. The fine wool was soft on her skin and she breathed in the faint slightly spicy scent that she now associated with Jack Clifton.

The balustrade was soon reached and she gazed out in genuine admiration at the park stretching out before her, bathed in moonlight. They were standing on a ridge with the land falling away on all sides. The full moon sailing high above cast a silvery sheen over the landscape.

‘It is beautiful,’ she breathed.

‘Yes. Renwick’s grandfather planned it all and planted the trees.’ He pointed. ‘Down there to the south, just beyond the lake, is the deer park.’

Eloise looked around. ‘And what is that building on the promontory over there?’

‘That is the Temple of Diana. The family used to hold dinner parties there, but now I think it is employed mainly by the ladies of the house for their sketching. The path between the temple and the house is thickly wooded, but the views on the other three sides are magnificent. Would you like to walk there now?’

The temptation to accept was very great, to prolong this magical time together, but she knew she must not. She shook her head.

‘Thank you, but no. I think it is time we returned to the house. They will be serving tea soon.’

She took one final look at the little Temple of Diana with its elegant cupola outlined against the night sky. The shallow steps and graceful columns looked most romantic, and the idea of being there in the moonlight with Jack sent a little shiver of excitement down her spine. All the more reason to return to the safety of the house, she thought, setting off back along the path. Without a word Jack fell into step beside her and they walked in silence back through the gardens. She laughed to herself: if she had been alone with any other man he would have taken the opportunity to make love to her, at least to flirt—here she was in the moonlight with the most attractive man she had ever known and he was behaving with perfect propriety.

And she hated it.

They slipped back into the house by the little glazed door and Eloise handed Jack his coat.

‘You will need this before you rejoin the others, Major.’

She helped him into it, telling herself it was necessary for her hands to smooth the coat over his broad shoulders, to brush a speck of dust from one lapel, but it was such an intimate gesture that her mouth went dry and her fingers trembled. Jack caught her hand and carried to his lips. She was immobilised by the tenderness of the gesture. She looked up and did not move as he lowered his head towards her.

‘We…should…not…’ she breathed, still looking up at him.

‘Why not?’ he murmured. ‘Moonlight is the time for stolen kisses.’

‘You cannot steal what I give you freely.’

A fierce gleam lit his eyes: elation, triumph, she could not be sure. She dropped her own gaze, and gave a remorseful little sigh.

‘I should not be here with you. It was very wrong of me to go outside—what must you think of me?’

He pushed up her chin and gently brushed her lips with his own.

‘I think you an enigma, but I hope one day you will explain yourself.’

‘If only that were possible.’

‘It
is
possible. You have only to trust me.’

For the space of a heartbeat she was tempted.

‘If it was just my secret—’

‘Yes?’

She gave her head a little shake, put her hands against his chest to hold him off.

‘Perhaps, one day, I might be able to tell you more, but not yet.’

‘Then I shall not press you. When you are ready, you may come to me and tell me everything.’

Eloise bit her lip and blinked to drive back the tears. The more she knew of Jack Clifton, the more honourable she thought him. And the more impossible it was that he would ever understand. She said, with a masterly effort to keep her voice from shaking, ‘Mrs Renwick will be preparing tea soon. We should go back now, I think.’

‘As you wish, my lady.’ Jack pulled her hand on to his sleeve and walked her through the dark corridor.

They reached the hall just as the butler appeared, carrying the tea tray.

‘I have no doubt our absence will have been noted,’ murmured Jack as they followed him into the long gallery.

‘Then it will be best if we move apart, Major Clifton.’ She pulled her arm from his sleeve, saying nervously, ‘Pray do not speak to me again tonight, sir. I fear we may set tongues wagging.’

‘Not for the first time, Lady Allyngham,’ he said drily.

A little tut of exasperation escaped her. ‘I had hoped to repair my reputation with this visit.’

‘There is time yet. And Mortimer will be here tomorrow: you will have your guard dog to protect you.’

With a last, fleeting smile he walked away and she joined the crowd around her hostess. It was only when she was preparing for bed that she realised Jack’s handkerchief was still in her pocket. She took it out and held it for a moment, pressed against her mouth. She should of course give it to Alice to have it laundered and returned to the Major. Instead she turned and tucked it quickly under her pillow.

‘
S
o Mortimer is arrived. The Glorious Allyngham’s lapdog.’

Jack heard Deforge’s words as he walked into the library. Sir Ronald was standing by the window, gazing out at the post chaise and its four sweating horses that had just pulled up at the door of Renwick Hall.

‘Ah, but has he lost his place as the lady’s favourite?’ Edward Graham threw down the newspaper he had been reading and grinned at Jack. ‘Well, Clifton, you and the widow were missing for some considerable time last night: is she well and truly won?’

‘Lady Allyngham required a little air. I accompanied her,’ returned Jack evenly.

Sir Ronald shot a piercing look at him. ‘So you obliged her with a stroll in the moonlight. Are you sure it was nothing more?’

Jack made an effort to keep his countenance impassive.

‘Nothing.’

‘Then you wasted your opportunity, Major.’

‘I do not consider it so,’ said Jack, shrugging. ‘Forcing a woman is not
my
style, Deforge.’

Sir Ronald’s heavy features darkened angrily.

‘Are you saying it is mine?’

‘I have heard so.’ Jack’s lip curled. ‘I have heard that even your wife tried to run away from you.’

‘Blast your eyes, Clifton, you will unsay that!’

‘You will have to make me, Deforge.’

Jack met his look steadily, facing down the blustering challenge in the other man’s eyes. At length Sir Ronald shrugged.

‘Of course you would like to believe that, would you not, Major? It must be galling to know that pretty little Clara chose me over a penniless soldier. I can see how it would be some comfort to think she was unhappy, but she was not.’ He stepped closer. ‘I served her very well, Clifton, remember that when you are lying awake at night!’

Sir Ronald turned on his heel and walked away. He picked up the newspaper and carried it over to the far corner of the room. Mr Graham gave Jack a knowing look.

‘Well,’ he said, rising, ‘I’m off to change for dinner. How about you, Clifton?’

The two men left the room together and as the door closed behind them Graham said softly, ‘A word of warning, Major. Be wary of Deforge. He’s a nasty piece of work.’

‘I am aware,’ muttered Jack grimly, ‘but he won’t call me out, no matter how hard I try.’

‘Not his style,’ Graham retorted. ‘You are more likely to be found in a dark alley with a knife in your back.’

Jack gave an angry snort. ‘I am surprised Renwick invited him.’

‘No choice, old boy. It appears he’s some sort of distant cousin to Mrs Renwick, and he almost invited himself. She of
course is far too kind-hearted to turn anyone away, especially family—’ He broke off as they reached the hall, where they found their host greeting Alex Mortimer, who was divesting himself of his greatcoat. ‘Mortimer, how do you do! Good journey?’

Alex Mortimer looked up, a ready smile on his fair, handsome features.

‘The last stage was tiresome. One of the wheelers was lame. Couldn’t make any pace at all.’

‘Well, you are in good time for dinner,’ declared Mr Renwick. ‘I’ll have Grassington show you to your room—’

‘No need,’ cried Mr Graham, stepping forwards. ‘He’s in the room next to me, is he not? Clifton and I will take him up with us. Come along, Mortimer. Grassington can follow on with the bags!’

Linking arms with Jack and Alex, Edward Graham set off up the wide, shallow staircase, chatting merrily. Looking up, Jack realised that Mortimer was regarding him with a very thoughtful expression. No wonder, if Lady Allyngham had told him of their stormy meeting in London. Well, that was past now, and he hoped that after last night he and the lady could at least meet as friends. And once Eloise had explained matters to Mortimer, perhaps they could even work together to help the lady out of her predicament.

When the party gathered in the drawing room before dinner that evening, Eloise greeted Alex with unaffected pleasure, and she was happy to find that most of the party shared her delight. To have another handsome and eligible bachelor staying at Renwick Hall could not be considered anything other than an advantage, and she was amused to watch Mrs Briggate taking every opportunity to bring her daughters to his attention.

Seeing Lady Allyngham was alone, Jack crossed the room to join her. At first she did not notice him, for her eyes were on Alex Mortimer, who was standing on the far side of the room, surrounded by ladies.

‘Mortimer is very patient,’ he murmured. ‘I was not half so polite when the Briggate woman forced her chits under my nose. He will find himself leg-shackled if he doesn’t take care.’

She smiled.

‘Not he! Alex is too good-natured to snub anyone, but he will not allow the situation to get out of hand. Nor will he let either of those silly girls lose their hearts to him. He is far too kind for that.’

‘Perhaps his interests lie in another direction.’

She looked up at him, a startled look in her eyes.

‘I—I don’t understand you, Major.’

He gave her a rueful smile.

‘I thought his heart lay at your feet.’

‘Oh.’ The colour rushed back into her cheeks. ‘Oh, well, yes, I suppose that is true.’

He leaned a little closer.

‘Perhaps, when you talk to him, you will tell him that I am no longer your enemy. He has behaved like a dog with his hackles up ever since he arrived here. You may also tell him, if you please, that I am no rival. He has nothing to fear from me.’

He turned on his heel and walked away. Eloise stared after him, but she had no time to consider his words, for no sooner had he moved off than Sir Ronald Deforge was at her side and she forced herself to listen to his pleasantries and respond with a smile. There was no opportunity to speak to Alex until they were going into dinner, when he offered her his arm as they
processed from the drawing room across the hall and into the dining room.

‘Well, my dear, you have all the men enchanted, as usual. And judging by the number of times I heard you laugh I suppose you must be enjoying yourself.’

‘You are mistaken!’ Eloise glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear them. ‘Until I know who has been writing those dreadful letters to me I cannot relax for a moment. Oh, Alex, it is so unsettling! With the exception of yourself and Mr Renwick, not one of the gentlemen can come near me without I have to suppress a shudder.’

‘Not even Major Clifton? I thought we had agreed he was above suspicion.’

Eloise spread her hands.

‘He is, but that does not mean I can bear to have him by me.’ She was not going to admit to Alex that the shaking she experienced when Jack Clifton was near was for a very different reason. ‘However, we are not enemies any more.’

‘You are not?’

‘No. We—um—we understand each other now.’

‘Is that since he took you into the garden last night?’ He grinned at her horrified look. ‘Graham took great delight in telling me that Clifton had cut me out.’

They were entering the dining room and Eloise was obliged to swallow the infelicitous remark that rose to her lips.

‘It was no such thing,’ she hissed. ‘We merely…talked, and he apologised for misjudging me.’ After a brief pause she added, ‘He said to tell you that he is not our enemy. And that he is not your rival.’

Alex handed her to her seat, saying, ‘Generous of him to tell me he has no interest in you.’

‘Yes,’ she said bleakly. ‘Isn’t it?’

The following morning Mr Renwick took the gentlemen off shooting and the ladies were left to amuse themselves. The more energetic of the ladies, including Eloise, joined their hostess for a tour of the grounds, ending with refreshments served at the Temple of Diana. As they approached the pavilion, Eloise could see that it was a perfect cube with shallow steps on four sides leading to columned porticos. It was a bright, sunny day and Mrs Renwick had ordered the wide doors of the pavilion to be opened and the chairs moved out under the porticos so that the ladies could all sit and enjoy the magnificent views. The occasional gunshot could be heard, carried on the light breeze. Miss Briggate and her sister whiled away the time by staring at the woods on the far horizon, trying to spot the gentlemen. Eloise took a chair beside her cousin and they sat in companionable silence, gazing out across the park. The autumn colours were beginning to show themselves and Eloise could not help comparing the cheerful riot of green, red and gold with the silver-blue landscape she had seen the previous night.

‘Such a sad sigh, Cousin,’ remarked Mrs Cromer. ‘I hope you are not unhappy?’

Eloise started.

‘Did I sigh? Oh dear, I was not aware of it. I beg your pardon. How could one be unhappy in this beautiful place?’

‘I could not, certainly, and when you were younger I remember how much you enjoyed being in the country,’ returned Meg, smiling. ‘But I have not seen you for a long time, Cousin, you may have changed. We have seen little of each other since you and Tony were married. Understandable, of course.’

‘No, it was very remiss of me,’ declared Eloise. ‘I should have made more effort to invite you to stay—’

Meg threw up her hands and laughed at that.

‘No, no, you young people were far too busy with your own concerns. Besides, I had my girls to look after, and they were a handful, always wanting to be gadding about the town.’ She threw a smiling glance at Eloise. ‘That is why I thought you might be missing the delights of London.’

Eloise quickly disclaimed, ‘Not at all, Meg, why should you think that of me?’

‘Gossip travels, my dear.’

‘Ah.’ Eloise turned in her chair to regard her cousin. ‘Gossip about me, I suppose. I know some people think I am behaving disgracefully.’

Meg leaned across and took her hand. ‘Cousin, it is only natural that you should want to enjoy yourself, after a year in mourning, but perhaps you have let your high spirits run away with you. And it is not only your behaviour in town: I am well aware that you and Major Clifton were missing for more than an hour last night. A reputation is far more easily lost than won, you know.’

Eloise bowed her head.

‘I know it. Did—did anyone else notice?’

‘I am sure they did! Mrs Renwick made some passing comment, but only to the effect that she was glad to see the major taking an interest in women again.’

‘Oh.’ Eloise began to rearrange her skirts, saying casually, ‘Our hostess knows the major well?’

‘Her husband does, certainly,’ replied Meg, turning her face up to the sun. ‘I understand Major Clifton suffered some disappointment in his youth. He was in love with a maid but she married someone else. Seems she was such a paragon that he has not looked at a woman since—not at women of his own class, that is,’ she amended with a knowing smile. ‘I have heard that he has had any number of mistresses.’

Eloise stared across the park in silence as she digested this. She could well imagine the upright, incorruptible Major Clifton falling in love with a model of propriety. In comparison, her own reputation would seem bad indeed, but he was clearly attracted to her. Perhaps he saw her only as mistress material. Suddenly the day did not seem quite so bright.

‘I think perhaps I have been a little careless,’ she said quietly. ‘Some may even call me fast—but I intend to change that.’ She paused. Everything depended upon her recovery of the journal, but she could not tell Meg that. She told herself fiercely that she would not countenance failure. She said decisively, ‘When I leave here I have to return to London for a few weeks, to wind up my affairs before going back to Allyngham for the winter. Once in Norfolk the management of the estate will take up most of my time, but I wanted to ask if you would come back to town with me.’

‘To lend you countenance?’ asked Meg, giving her a quizzical look.

‘Yes, if you like,’ said Eloise, smiling. ‘To make me respectable!’

‘Oh, my dear, you know I would love to come with you, but my daughter is lying in next month and I must go to Shropshire to be with her. I am so sorry. But next Season, if you go to town, it would be my pleasure to come and live with you.’

‘Yes, of course, Meg. Thank you.’

‘And until then I am sure we can find some other respectable lady to keep you company in town—’

‘No, no, I would not wish to take on a stranger for a mere few weeks.’ Eloise shook her head. ‘And once I retire to Allyngham, there is so much to do that I shall not have time to be lonely.’ She smiled reassuringly at her cousin. ‘I am sure I can manage to keep out of trouble for a few more weeks!’

‘Then let us start with this evening,’ retorted Meg, a twinkle in her sharp eyes. ‘There must be no moonlight walks tonight, no matter how handsome the gentleman!’

No one could have been more decorous than Lady Allyngham at dinner that evening. She was gracious and charming, but she could not be persuaded to leave her hostess’s side until the card tables were set up and even then she would only play a friendly game of whist. Jack observed it all. He made no move to approach her, and watched with a detached amusement as the other single gentlemen tried unsuccessfully to draw her away from the group. Mortimer, he noticed, was unconcerned, and he guessed that whatever game the widow was playing, her guard dog knew of it. He was even more convinced when Mortimer agreed to join him for a game of billiards.

‘You would not rather play at cards with us, Mortimer?’ cried Edward Graham, looking up.

Alex grinned and shook his head.

‘If Sir Ronald has only half his usual luck I would be handing over my shirt to him. I shall enjoy a quiet game of billiards with Clifton instead.’

‘On leave from your sentry duty?’ Jack murmured as the two men made their way to the billiard room.

Alex did not pretend to misunderstand him.

‘My lady has turned over a new leaf,’ he replied evenly, selecting a cue from the rack. ‘She wants her cousin to live with her, to protect her reputation.’

‘That sounds very much like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.’ Mortimer said nothing, but Jack observed the heavy frown that flitted across his face. He said, ‘Have I offended you?’

Alex shrugged.

‘Not at all. Shall we play?’