DISARM (DISARM Series #1) (3 page)

He opened
his eyes and his sleepy smile just about melted my panties. Did he look like
that right after sex? Why was I suddenly so intent on finding out?

“Hey,” he
said huskily. His hand shot out and grabbed mine to keep me from leaving again.
“Talk to me, Els.”

I searched
his face and found regret. “I wish you’d told me.”

His eyes
held mine. “Believe me, so do I,” he said. “I hated having to keep it from you,
but I really couldn’t find the right way to tell you.”

I gave a
short nod. “I know. But I need to know I can trust you—”

“Of course
you can trust me.”

“—to
treat me like an adult.”

He sighed,
his wide chest rising and falling. “I can’t help it. I’ve always felt
protective of you.” I felt him squeeze my hand. “And I know you’re an adult.
You’ve grown up into a beautiful, wonderful woman.”

Even though
my face felt warm, I said, “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“Sometimes
it gets me out of trouble,” he said with a grin. “So we have this weekend to do
something fun. What should we do?”

I raised my
eyebrow. “You want to spend your last weekend with me? You’re not going to go
see your parents?”

“No.” He
said nothing else about the complicated relationship with his parents. He never
did. “And most of my pre-deployment ducks are in a row. So I’m all yours this
weekend.”

I thought
of something we hadn’t done in a while, something we’d loved doing when Jason
was still around. “How about we go hiking and camping at Red Rock Canyon?”

“And some
rappelling?” he asked, his eyes bright with excitement.

“Definitely.”

He sat up
and threw the book aside. He squeezed my hand, a silent promise that he will
never do me wrong again. “This will be fun.”

3
 
|
 
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION

Some time
after Jason’s death, I started having nightmares. They were violent at first,
causing me to thrash and scream, but Henry had been there to wake me from it
each time, to hold my head as I cried. Sometimes I climbed into bed with him in
the middle of the night, a preemptive strike against the night terrors. Just
the act of sleeping beside him, without even touching, gave me the comfort I
needed to stay asleep.

I hadn’t
had any nightmares in a while. Until tonight.

I dreamt
that Jason was walking around a rundown, deserted neighborhood of cement
buildings without his weapons or any form of communication. He passed a mangy
dog and stopped to pet it, and in that small moment of distraction, a sniper on
the rooftop was able to take him out. This dream was different, however,
because Henry ran out into the street without body armor and crouched beside my
fallen brother. He was shot in the back of the head.

I woke up,
shaking and covered in sweat, suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense to see
Henry and make sure he was okay. So even though it was after midnight, I
tiptoed past the living room and peered into his room.

I was
relieved to find him very much alive, lying on the bed in nothing but a pair of
sweat pants, watching TV with his hands folded behind his head. “Hey,” he said.
“You okay?”

“I…”

He sat up.
“Bad dreams?”

“You were
in it this time.”

He patted
the space beside him. “Wanna bunk?”

I stopped
at the foot of his bed, suddenly unsure of myself. We’d spent many hours here,
talking and crying and cementing our friendship. He’d never tried anything, had
never expressed any sort of sexuality with me until the other night. So why was
I so nervous all of a sudden?

“Would you
just come here already?” he asked, breaking through my uncertainty.

Without
another word, I climbed on the bed and lay beside him, staring up at the
ceiling.

“You want
to talk about it?”

I shook my
head and we remained unspeaking for a long time.

He finally
broke the silence. “I really am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Elsie.”

I looked at
him. “I’m sorry for reacting exactly as you thought.”

“I just
couldn’t find the right time or place to tell you. Believe me, I thought about
it day and night.”

“You don’t
always have to protect me, you know. I can handle it. I’m not a little girl
anymore, in case you haven’t noticed.”

His blue
eyes blazed on my face with a look that made my ears burn. “I have.”

I was sure
he could hear my heart pounding through my shirt. “So no more personal secrets,
okay? You’ll always have your classified information, I know that, but you
hiding something like this from me… well, it hurts.”

He held out
his pinky and we sealed the deal. “Promise.”

We looked
at each other for a long time, not saying anything.

“So what
now?” I finally asked.

“We deal
with it, I guess. Not much else we can do.” He let out a slow breath through
his nose. “The chances of that happening to me is pretty slim, you know. My job
is to guard the base, not mingle with the natives.”

“Can I get
that in writing?” I asked with a smile. “I want a written guarantee, notarized
even, that you will be okay.”

He gave a
short chuckle. “I can’t do that. But I can make you a promise that I will try
my hardest to come back home in one piece.”

Tears
sprung to my eyes unexpectedly. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without
you,” I said with a quivering voice.

“Hey,” he
said, gathering me into his side. “Don’t cry.”

I laid my
cheek on his bare skin, tears falling from my face and soaking into the short,
dark hair of his chest. “You smell nice,” I said between sobs.

“Sometimes
I do this thing called
shower
,” he said to try and lighten the mood.
“Try it sometime.”

I gave him
a playful jab on the stomach, glad to have the old Henry back. “Smart ass.”

He grabbed
my hand and smacked me with it, his favorite way of tormenting me since our
teens. “Stop hitting yourself, Elsie,” he said with a laugh. “Hurting yourself
won’t do you any good.”

I struggled
against his strong arms, laughing despite the moisture on my face. I twisted
around and somehow found myself on top of him.

Henry bit
his lower lip. “Are you trying to seduce me?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

I pinched
his nose and slid off him, feeling a surprising jolt as my nipples rubbed
against his chest. Ignoring the confusing feeling, I resumed our snuggling
position, resting my hand on his stomach. He placed his hand on mine and gave a
contented little sigh that I felt in my bones. I melted into his side, finding
myself suddenly sleepy.

“I don’t
know what I’ll do without you either,” was the last thing I heard him say
before the weight of the deployment proved too heavy for my eyelids.

~

I was
having a surprisingly erotic dream where Henry and I were naked together, his
large hands caressing my body as we kissed like we would never see each other
again. I could feel his erection pressing into me, his desire so palpable I
could almost smell it. He reached down between us and his hand cupped my mound,
making me moan when his fingers slipped inside. To return the pleasure, I
gripped his thick erection and began a gentle tugging motion.

“Uh,
Elsie,” he said.

“Henry,” I
moaned against him, pumping faster.

“Elsie,
wake up.”

My eyes
opened with a start, surprised that it had all been a dream. It had felt so
real.

“Umm…”

My eyes
flew down in horror when I realized that my hand was, indeed, inside Henry’s
pants, my fingers still wrapped around his erect penis.

“What the
hell!” I cried, scrambling away in horror. “What was my hand doing in there?”

Henry
stifled a smile as he fixed his waistband. “I think you know what you were
doing.”

“I mean why
was it in there, in your pants? Did you do that?”

He laughed
now, hearty and thick. “Hell no. That was all you. I woke up with you
manhandling me.”

I covered
my mouth with my hand—the
other
hand—feeling my face go up
in flames. “Was I moaning too?”

“Maybe a
little.”

“Oh my God!
I thought I was dreaming.” I covered my face with my hands, dying of
embarrassment.

He bit down
on his lips but was not successful in hiding his amusement. “You dream about
jerking me off?” he asked.

“No!” I
cried. “I’m sorry for molesting you,” I said and fled the room as quickly as my
feet could go, with Henry’s laughs trailing behind me like toilet paper stuck
to my shoe.

I went to
work thirty minutes early that morning out of sheer embarrassment. I didn’t
want to have to see Henry’s smirk, didn’t want to have to explain why my
unconscious hand was touching him in his private places.

Several
people came by my cubicle at work, asking if I was running a fever because my
face was still so red.
Oh, it’s just because I accidentally jerked off my
roommate this morning
, I thought about saying then died a little more
inside.

I found it
hard to concentrate on work. Every time I typed something or reached for my
mouse, I’d inadvertently glance down at my hand and remember how Henry had felt
in my grip, that soft, velvety skin that gave way to the solid muscle
underneath. I imagined guiding him inside me, filling me up completely with
that dark look on his face…

I stood up,
my entire body overheating, and ran to the bathroom as fast as my boots would
allow. I meant to only splash cold water on my face, but as soon as I was in
the privacy of the bathroom, I knew there was really only one way I could get
through the day, so I locked myself in a stall, lifted the hem of my skirt, and
slipped my hand inside my panties.

~

My body
relaxed somewhat for the rest of the day, but the moment I pulled into the
apartment parking lot the desire came rushing back. When I slid the key inside
the lock, I almost decided to just forgo thinking and just fuck Henry
senseless.

Yes, the F
word, because he wasn’t getting anything less. I was so aroused, I even
entertained the idea of fucking him twice.

My hot
fantasy was doused when I walked inside and found Henry and another guy in the
living room, each lounging on a different couch with a beer in hand. They had
been talking about work but stopped when I walked into view.

“Hey,”
Henry greeted, his face carefully devoid of expression. I was almost in the
clear when his blue eyes slowly slid down my body, inflaming me to the core. My
knees just about buckled.

I didn’t
know when he’d acquired that special power over me, but I wanted it gone. I
couldn’t afford to burst into flames every time he looked my way.

“Elsie?” he
asked, frowning.

I blinked,
realizing I’d spaced out for a second. “Huh?”

A shadow of
a smirk crossed over his mouth before he said, “Elsie, meet Lieutenant Jack
Coulson. He’s moving to an apartment across the courtyard.”

I shot Jack
a smile, noting the youth and inexperience in his face. He couldn’t have been
more than twenty-two. “Nice to meet you.”

Jack stood
up and shook my hand. “Pleasure,” he said.

“Do you
work together?”

Jack
remained standing. “Yes, ma’am. I just moved to the 72
^nd
Security
Forces Squadron. Captain Logan is my boss.”

I looked
over at Henry with a raised eyebrow. My first impulse was to say something
funny but remembered to keep my snarky mouth in check. Henry was this guy’s
boss and needed to maintain a sense of authority. “That’s great,” I said
instead.

Henry cast
that blue gaze at me, his eyes once again doing the sexy slide down my body
that felt very much like a caress.

I turned
away, sick of my body’s disloyal reaction to those looks. It wasn’t as if I was
really attracted to Henry; I just needed a good lay and he happened to be the
nearest available guy. That’s all it was. Surely there were other guys who
might be interested.

I excused
myself, deciding a long run at the park was just what my body needed.

Nearly an
hour later, I was back at the apartment, sweaty and still frustrated. I’d run
four miles, yet my mystery runner never showed up. I hopped in the shower,
hoping to cool down—which worked for the most part, until afterward, when
I came out to the living room completely dressed to find Henry definitively
not.
His shirt was off (did the guy even own one?) and he was sweaty from helping
Jack move his stuff up the three flights of stairs.