Dirty: The Complete Series (Secret Baby Romance Love Story) (22 page)

“I’m not going to tell Dad,” he said. “But you
need to know that if you’re not more careful about meeting with that guy,
you’re going to end up getting caught. If you get caught, you’re going to be
screwed all on your own.” Tuck turned around and walked away and I stood there
for a moment. I should have felt utterly victorious, but I didn’t. I felt
worried.

I considered texting Cade and telling him that
something had come up. I couldn’t be 100% sure that Tuck wouldn’t take it into
his head to sabotage us in some way
—
get Dad to come out to the park or drop some
kind of hint that would get me in trouble.

You’re being ridiculous. You wouldn’t be this paranoid about meeting
with a guy if you were open about it
—
don’t be this paranoid now.
But I wasn’t being open about it; I was
lying, at least by omission, to my Dad and I wasn’t sharing everything with my
mom.

“Should we go anyway, Addie-girl?”

Adelyn looked up and me and burbled. “Good!
Ma!”

I chuckled to myself, gathered up her carrier and
the bag, and unlocked my car. I bolted my daughter into her safety seat and
made sure she was fully secure, and then I stowed her bag next to her and
climbed in on the driver’s side. Whether I was safe or not, I was going to meet
with Cade.

You could be making a big mistake,
I thought.
He could end up leaving you just like Titan did.

I pushed any thought of my ex out of my mind
and started the car, turning it around and heading down the driveway towards
the road. I was going to be optimistic; things with Cade weren’t serious, and I
was actually having fun with him. I would see how things went, and then if we
lasted out through the end of the season, he and I would go on to see how we
felt about each other. If things were going well by then, we could be more open
if we wanted to.

I felt unsettled the whole drive into town
knowing that Tuck knew about my visits with Cade. It was hard to predict what
my brother would do.

I hadn’t expected him to yell at me weeks
before about colluding with Cade to somehow get Tuck cut out of inheriting my
father’s property; it wasn’t something I had ever even entertained as a
possibility and even if I had, I would never have wanted to do it. And yet
there he had been, on my doorstep, accusing me of trying to get him screwed out
of what he viewed as his rightful inheritance.

I heard Addie caroling along with the music on
the stereo and forced myself to be more positive. I was going to be seeing
Cade, after all. We would have hours to spend together, and I fully intended to
enjoy every last minute of the time we had.

I wouldn’t be able to go back to his place,
but there were more things in the world to do than to have sex.
Not that I don’t wish I could be having sex
right now,
I thought wryly.

I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Addie
waving her hands almost in time with the beat in the music. If I hadn’t brought
Adelyn with me, it would have been harder to get away, but bringing her made me
feel weird about even thinking of going back to Cade’s place.

She was still too young to have any idea about
what Cade and I might be doing, but I wouldn’t be able to just leave her in the
living room and go into the bedroom, and I couldn’t exactly bring her into the
bedroom with me.

Maybe I should ask some other single moms how they go about dating.
There had to be at least a few who’d found
new partners after their husbands and the fathers of their children had left
the picture. They might be able to tell me how to manage it. It was the sort of
thing that I’d normally talk to Mom about, but I couldn’t talk to her about it
until after the growing season was over and I could be more open about how
things were between me and Cade.

As far as Mom knew, there was a little
flirtation, a few outings together, and after Cade and I had gotten on the same
page about keeping it from my father, I had felt like I shouldn’t make Mom lie
to Dad on top of the semi-lies I was telling. It wouldn’t be right.

I mulled it over all the way to the park where
we’d agreed to meet. I didn’t see anything else that I could do other than
continue to hold the threat over my brother’s head and hide my dates with Cade
until after his promise to my father was no longer at issue.

It irritated me that Tuck was speaking badly
about Cade in town, and I’d spent weeks undoing the damage that Tuck had
wrought, as much as I could; but I couldn’t do much of anything about it.

I finally arrived at the park, and saw Cade
waiting for us at the entrance. “Look who we’ve got here, Addie! It’s Cade!” I
looked at my daughter in the backseat and she gave a little cry of joy.

“Ade! Ade!” I giggled to myself at the
excitement in her voice, at the fact that she was trying to say Cade’s name.
I’d have to be careful with that, at least a little bit. If Addie seemed
too
familiar with Cade, it might bring
about questions.

But for the time being, for the moment, I was
happy just to be meeting with the guy I liked, who I enjoyed spending time
with, even if I knew it wouldn’t end up with us in bed together. I unbuckled my
seatbelt, and began gathering up my things to get out to where Cade waited for
us.

“You happy to see him, little girl?” Addie
waved her hands in the air and burbled her approval as I tugged her carrier out
of the base that made up her safety seat. I hefted the diaper bag on my
shoulder, made sure the car was locked, and then started in Cade’s direction.

He spotted us as we approached, and I felt my
heart beat faster in my chest at the sight of him. He hurried to meet us on the
way to him and leaned in to kiss me on the lips; it was just a moment, just a
brush of his lips on mine, but it was worth all the trouble I’d had with Tuck
before I’d left.

I decided to myself that I wasn’t going to
mention anything about it to Cade; he would just worry, and I had it all under
control. I took his free hand and we walked into the park together to spend the
afternoon with each other, and my baby girl.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Cade

It was hot out. Of course, it had been hot for
weeks and was only going to get hotter before fall finally came.

I leaned against the fertilizer cart and
tugged a towel free of my pocket to mop at my face. It was a good couple of
hours until the lunch break, and I was hopeful that I’d get a chance to cool
off then, but until that time, I needed to keep on task, even if it was hot.

Bob Nelson was working on the opposite end of
the fields, and Tuck was somewhere in the middle. The goal was to meet up at
the center, all three of us having finished our rows for the day, at least as
far as fertilizer was concerned. We’d already gone through and either scared or
trapped and killed the bigger pests in the fields
—
they were starting to get the message that
they weren’t wanted, though they’d need reminding again before the season was
out.

I made my way down the rest of the row,
walking alongside the cart, making sure the fertilizer went where it was
supposed to and topping off the container on the wagon itself as I moved along.
I paused again before I moved onto the next row in my lot to get a long drink
of water from the thermos I’d stowed on the wagon before I started on the work
for the day.

I sat in the shade of the cart for a moment
and cooled off as much as I could. I wondered what Autumn would bring for lunch
later. I’d brought something for myself as a just-in-case, but I’d come to
depend on her heading out in the middle of the day to bring us something to eat
from the kitchen. She hadn’t once made the few foods I didn’t like since we’d
had our showdown in the front yard weeks before.

I knew I was making good time, but I didn’t
realize how well I was doing until I heard movement in one of the rows near
mine. It had to be Tuck; he was working the center portion of the fields.

I kept going, telling myself that things had
gotten to be pretty much neutral between Tuck and me and that I was in fine
shape with Bob Nelson. There wasn’t a whole lot that Tuck could do to make
things bad for me, even if he did seem preoccupied lately, and even if I did
catch him occasionally looking at me with an expression that wasn’t completely
impartial.

He and I would never really completely be
friends; ever since the first dinner, when I’d first had an argument with Tuck
—
maybe even before that
—
he’d decided against me, for whatever reason
he’d cooked up in his mind.

I tried to get a look over the top of the corn
to see where Bob was in his own work, but it was impossible; the stalks had
grown too tall for me to really get a good look, and they were too close
together to look through.

I told myself not to worry. Just because Tuck
and I were alone for a few minutes, it wouldn’t mean anything. We’d both be too
tired and too sweaty and hot to do anything more than stand around for a few
minutes before moving along to the rest of the field to get to the end where
we’d meet up with Bob and go to lunch.

I came to the end of my allotted rows, and a
few minutes later, Tuck emerged from the green-toned walls of corn himself,
looking every bit as sweaty and tired as I was.

“Getting into the dog days,” I said, keeping
my voice as neutral and as natural as possible. “It’ll be good to take a break
through the hottest part of the day.”

“Be better if we could make like the Spanish
and take a three-hour break,” Tuck said, smiling slightly. He looked tired, but
I could tell he was trying to put on as cheerful a face as possible; his father
might show up at any moment.

“How’s your third of the rows?”

Tuck shrugged. “They’re about the same as the
rest of the field,” he said. He leaned against the fence, mopping at his face.
“Yours?”

“Looking good,” I told him.

“How are you liking farm work? I know it’s
probably a bit different from construction.”

I shrugged. “It’s work,” I said. “Out in the
sun, pretty intense...it’s more similar than you’d think.”

Tuck nodded slowly. “Dad’s talking about
hiring on one or two people next season,” he said. He looked at me and then
looked away. “Maybe you could sign on next year, too.”

“Maybe,” I agreed. After the little bit that
Autumn had told me about the way that Tuck spoke about me in town, I didn’t
want to add any fuel to the fire of whatever his grudge was with me, but I
didn’t want to sound ungrateful, either.

“Or, you know, now that you’ve got the
experience under your belt, there are other, bigger farms you could probably
hire onto next year.”

“That’s always an option, if your dad doesn’t
need me next year,” I said with a shrug.

“Thinking of getting into something steadier?”

I looked at Tuck sharply. ‘This is pretty
steady work,” I pointed out.

“I just meant in general; this obviously is
pretty seasonal. Are you looking to get something that’s more year-round, or
maybe just a normal kind of job?”

“I’m looking to settle down in general,” I
said. Whatever it was that Tuck wanted to get out of me, I couldn’t be sure. I
decided to stick as close to honesty as possible. “I’m not getting any younger,
and a job that’d give me a steady living would make it easier to find a woman
to settle with, maybe start a family.”

Tuck nodded; I couldn’t read his expression.
“My sister is beginning to think about settling down
—
for real, I mean,” he said. “Autumn thought
she’d caught the dream with her ex. Are you familiar with him?”

I shrugged. “She was with Titan, right? Until
he ran off, or whatever?” The story was known
—
at least a little bit
—
in town, and I felt like it would make more
sense for me to be familiar with it than for me to pretend like I’d never heard
anything at all about it.

“He went off with some woman,” Tuck said. He
mopped at this face again and took a drink of water. “But I think he might be
coming back into town soon.”

Autumn had told me that Titan had no intention
of coming back into town any time in the near future; that he’d told her as
much. I didn’t think Tuck would have any more direct a line to Titan than
Autumn did.

“It’d be good for him to meet his little
girl,” I said.

Tuck nodded. “There’s a connection between a
man and a woman who have a child together,” he pointed out. “It’s a connection
for life, you know?”

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I knew it would
be a bad idea. “Unless one of them decides they want nothing at all to do with
the kid,” I pointed out. “I mean, after all, there are lots of sperm donors out
there who never have any connection with the person who used their stuff.”

“That’s true,” he admitted. “But I think my
sister’s starting to look for something more permanent. Addie’s getting to be
old enough to notice that she doesn’t have a dad; that’s gotta be a hard thing
for a woman to face. It’s not like she’s shamed or anything, but it’s still
tough.”

“I think she does well,” I said, looking at
Tuck from the corner of my eyes. “I mean, it’s tough for her, but she makes it
look easy
—
like it’s exactly what she wants from life. From what I’ve seen of her.”

Tuck smiled slightly. “She’s a good mom,” he
said. “She does everything she can to make sure Addie never wants for anything,
and she’ll do whatever she can to give Adelyn the family that little girl
deserves.”

I tried to decide what it was that Tuck was
trying to tell me, but I couldn’t put it together. It was obvious that he was
trying to suggest
something
to do
with Titan, with Autumn and Addie, but he wouldn’t come right out and say it. I
shrugged and drank down some of my own water.

“I should probably finish off my last couple
of rows before we get to lunch break,” I said, turning the cart back on.

“I hope Autumn brings out something good,” he
said, turning to his own rig.

I went back to work, trying to think of what
it was that Tuck was trying to do; it was obvious to me that he didn’t have the
highest opinion of me, but I’d always assumed that that had more to do with me
being some kind of interloper on his father’s farm than anything else. I
thought about what Tuck had hinted about Titan, about Autumn and Addie. It
would only make sense that Autumn would want to find someone to settle down
with. Her daughter needed a stable home life, and a good husband would give
Autumn a lot of stability, not that her parents couldn’t give her enough as it was.

But Autumn had told me herself that Titan had
given her every reason to believe that she would probably not see him again It
was hard for me to believe that someone who would run out on Autumn in the
first place, especially when she was carrying his child, would suddenly develop
an interest in learning about his daughter, especially after he’d insisted he
had no interest at all. It just didn’t make any sense.

I pushed aside the idea that Titan might be
coming back into town; there was no reason to think that he’d keep Autumn in
the dark about it if he intended to have any kind of relationship with her or
with his daughter, and if he had gotten in touch, I was sure
—
I was certain
—
that Autumn would have mentioned it to me.

I hadn’t admitted it to Tuck, but when I’d
said I wanted to settle down, I was thinking partly of Autumn. I didn’t know
where her mind was on the subject, but I liked her a lot. I wanted something
much more serious with her, at least once we were both free to try it.

She would have to be cautious
—
of course she would
—
but I already liked her daughter, and I got
along with her parents. At least, I had been getting along with them so far…
That might change somewhat if I started openly dating Autumn, though as long as
I waited until after harvest, it should be fine.

I trailed alongside the fertilizer spreader,
making sure that it didn’t get stopped up, that it was spraying evenly and not
running out. It was fine with me that Tuck had some kind of goal of driving a
wedge, but I wasn’t going to let him succeed. Whether it was because he had a
personal issue with me, or because he was protective of Autumn, respecting his
position didn’t mean I had to give in to what he was doing.

I would keep going the way that I had been and
count on Autumn to tell me if anything changed in her life. We’d both wait
until the end of harvest, and then we’d be free to explore what there was
between us. I didn’t have any doubts at all in my mind.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Autumn

It was late in the afternoon, and I was sitting
on the porch, waiting for Mom to call me in for dinner. She’d taken it over for
the day, since I’d agreed to do a few of the less glamorous chores she had on
her plate
—
she’d had a rough night, and hadn’t felt up to looking over the
accounts or budgeting the bills.

While she’d been too tired to wrangle with the
business end of the farm, she’d been more than happy to wrestle with the food
for dinner, and I was happy to switch places with her, even if it had meant
missing out on visiting, however briefly, with Cade.

He’d gone home for the night, Dad was in the
living room with Addie, and Tuck was off doing something on his own. I had a
rare moment almost all to myself, and I intended to enjoy it with a nice glass
of wine and a view of the lowering sun on the horizon.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I frowned
to myself. I hadn’t been expecting to hear from anyone
—
my girl friends in town were all busy and Cade
wouldn’t be home yet, not to mention that we tried not to message each other
too much, even though it wouldn’t come out to anyone else.

I unlocked my screen and opened my messages.
If I was surprised to be getting a message from someone in the first place, I
was flabbergasted to see that it was from Titan.
I’ve been thinking a lot about you, about Adelyn...about everything.

I frowned at my phone, as if it could answer
the question that welled up in my mind:
what
had brought on any thought at all of the family Titan had abandoned?

Certainly he hadn’t been thinking of us at all
at the end of my pregnancy or in Addie’s first year of life. I considered just
ignoring the message. After all, I couldn’t trust Titan, and even if I could, I
didn’t particularly want to talk to him. But he was the father of my daughter,
and I knew that if I’d asked my mom, she’d say I should at least make an
effort, if only for Adelyn’s sake.

I thought about what I should say.
Well that’s an interesting change. Where
have your thoughts brought you?
I thought of my daughter inside the house;
she had no idea who her father was. She was too young even to really know that
fathers were a thing, or at least to understand it.

I have a kid out there in the world,
Titan replied.
I guess it just occurred to me that Adelyn is real, and a person, and I
don’t know anything about her, even though she’s half me.

I thought about that for another long moment.
It had taken him almost a year and a half to realize that his daughter was
real? What had he thought in the meantime? I reminded myself that he was Adelyn’s
biological father and that if he was curious about her, I should at least humor
him a little bit.

Well, she just turned one a few weeks ago. She’s starting to talk a
little more…She’s got some words mastered, some of them still sound like
babble.
I pressed
my lips together and decided to send him a picture for reference.. The picture
I’d chosen was from about a week after Addie’s first birthday, when I’d taken
her with me to the grocery store.

She looks so much like her mama! I can barely tell she’s mine.
I wondered if Titan was going to somehow
accuse me of having cheated on him to justify abandoning me. I took a deep
breath and put the thought aside, reminding myself that borrowing trouble never
worked out well.

She’s pretty smart, too. I wish you could have gotten to know her a
little better when she was just born.

That was as close as I would let myself come
to scolding Titan about the situation anymore, at least unless he said
something to me outright. It wasn’t fair to Adelyn to make her a bargaining
chip or a piece of baggage to saddle on her father. I had made my own choices,
and I loved my little girl; she was so much more to me than her father had ever
been.

Maybe I’ll get a chance to make up a little bit for lost time soon,
Titan replied.
What else have you been up to lately?

That question struck me as a little odd; I
could almost understand Titan developing a sudden interest in his daughter, but
he had made it clear to me, more than once, that he wanted little to nothing at
all to do with me, that he was perfectly happy with the girl he’d moved out
east to be with.

Pretty much the same as always,
I wrote back.
I can’t do as much out in the fields as I used to do, but I’m helping
Mom a lot more around the house, so it’s about what I would have expected. What
are you up to these days? Everything good out on the East Coast?

I took a sip of my wine and tried to
understand what could have suddenly awakened Titan’s interest in anything at
all to do with me. He had been so gung ho about how good his relationship with
the other woman was the last time we’d had any contact; he had even said that
he wasn’t at all interested in coming back home.

I got a new job a little while back,
Titan replied to me.
I’m trying my hand out on some electronics repair out here. It pays
pretty well.
I nodded to that response.

It had never really been that Titan was
stupid, per se; he’d been something of a class clown, the kind of guy who would
joke through most of the class, but then manage to pull at least a solid B on
the test a few times a semester. If he’d taken school more seriously, he might
even have done better than I had, but he’d never thought there was any reason
to take it that seriously when he knew enough skills to get himself a decent
job.

Sounds like your life is getting pretty exciting out there,
I told him.
I’m surprised you’re interested at all in anything to do with this
sleepy old town.

Titan sent me back a laughing emoji and I
rolled my eyes. He’d sent it to me so many times before, that I couldn’t doubt
it was him. His sudden interest had made me wonder in the back of my mind if it
wasn’t his girlfriend, checking up on him, or one of his friends, or someone
else just being nosy, hacking his phone. But it was definitely my ex.

Things are just starting to settle in enough for me to really think,
he explained.

Not getting bored, are you? Should I catch you up on all the town
gossip?
I had
another sip of my wine and glanced back in the direction of the rest of the
house.

Get me up to date on all the hot news,
Titan suggested. I thought about what would
have any chance to appeal to him and we began chatting about our lives,
comparing what we were doing.

I told him more about Addie, including what
we’d done for her first birthday and the different trips that I had taken her
with me on. I left any mention of Cade out of the texts, not because I had any
concerns that it would ruffle feathers, but I didn’t want to complicate
matters.

I heard about Titan’s new life out East and
tried not to feel envious at how glamorous it all sounded. I knew for a fact
that he wasn’t living some big, rich life, but the fact that he’d gotten out of
town, that he had someone to love and to love him in return, didn’t seem quite
fair, considering that he’d abandoned me to achieve all of it.