Dirty Dining (22 page)

Jeremy wanted to smack Brice. Not from anger, but because Brice’s other hand was exploring some very sensitive spots around Jeremy’s ass and making his dick even harder.

“Hey, which of them has the biggest balls?” the drunk guy shouted. “Let’s line ’em up.”

Everyone else yanked his boy’s jockstrap off and examined their balls. Taylor lifted his skirt up and shook his head as he caught Jeremy’s eye. “Told you,” he mouthed.

All the boys were lined up, and the men filed past, examining their equipment—hands off, Brice made it a rule before he let Jeremy participate. Jeremy liked how Brice didn’t want anyone else’s hands on him, though a few guys got far too up close and personal in other ways.

Jeremy won lowest balls, Kit had the tightest sac, and it was unanimous that Taylor had the biggest balls. Jeremy also came away with the best hard-on honors, and Brice had to make sure no one else got a handful of anything.

The contest threw off the usual pattern of the dinners, since all the boys were naked by the third course, and there wasn’t much left to reveal. Most of the other men ignored dessert—sorbet balls—in favor of exploring the naked flesh all around them.

Kit and Law provided entertainment as Law stood on a small pedestal and let Kit shave his balls.

By that time, no one was paying any attention to Brice and Jeremy. They got each other worked up so much they left before the cognac was served.

Upstairs in Room 4, Brice had Jeremy in his arms before he closed the door behind them. They made love fiercely until they were both exhausted. Still sticky, sweaty, and out of breath, Brice pulled Jeremy up close.

“I’m sorry about tonight, Jeremy. Really sorry. I shouldn’t have showed you off like that. It wasn’t respectful.”

Jeremy’s chest was heavy and tight. “There’s not much respectful about this place. Don’t think about it.” He paused. “In a way, it’s probably a good thing it happened tonight.”

“How could me treating you like a piece of meat be good?”

“Thomas knows about us, or suspects. Kit figured it out almost immediately. If you’d been too nice to me, they would know for sure. Now, they won’t be so suspicious.”

Brice took in the information without responding. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh.

“Even so, can you forgive me?”

“Didn’t we just make love?” Jeremy wouldn’t look at Brice.

“No, Jeremy. What we just did wasn’t making love. It was barely even fucking. It was something else I can’t even define.”

“Then don’t—”

“Don’t tell me not to define it. Don’t say that.” Brice’s voice sounded tight and sad. Hearing it made Jeremy’s heart break a little bit more.

“Come here?” Brice gathered Jeremy to his chest and held him.

Jeremy lay in Brice’s arms and listened to him fall asleep. Until tonight, that had been one of his favorite things. Now, he had a lump in his throat, and even breathing felt like a chore.

Which had been the worse mistake, spending time with Brice outside of the club, or coming back here after their relationship had shifted?

He stared at the ceiling as if the answer were written there.

His heart told him one thing and his head another.

W
HEN
B
RICE
woke Thursday morning, he was alone in the big bed. A wave of fear washed over him.

“Jeremy?” He sat up and looked around. “Jeremy?” Then he noticed Jeremy’s bag on the floor near the wardrobe and the light coming from under the bathroom door.

“In here,” Jeremy shouted. A moment later he came out, fully clothed, hair damp. “I have to get to the lab. Sorry.”

As he walked over to pick up his bag, the scent of shampoo and shower gel wafted toward Brice. It usually made him feel good because it was associated with Jeremy. But as he watched Jeremy walk out the door without as much as a kiss, Brice felt a chill creep into his body that wouldn’t go away, even when he pulled the covers up to his chin.

He’d wanted to have his cake and eat it too. A relationship with Jeremy and playtime here, knowing the steady money was important to Jeremy. There were alternatives, but the way things stood, if Brice offered Jeremy help with his expenses, it would come across as trying to pay for forgiveness.

How could he be so competent at work, and such a fuck-up when it came to his personal life? Again. For a change it wasn’t his job that doomed his nascent relationship with Jeremy. The irony felt heavy in his gut.

He had to get to the office. It was the end of the third quarter, and they had to conduct performance reviews on the portfolio companies that hadn’t come in yet. Ron wanted him to attend a few of the discussions as they decided which firms to continue to support and which to cut back or drop funding for altogether. Brice would scrutinize the contracts for the terms of each deal if a change was necessary.

He’d spend the next week looking at pie charts and listening to a bunch of blah, blah, ROI and blah, blah earnings per share. Right now, the only thing to keep his attention was Jeremy.

They had a date scheduled for Saturday: first a walk on the beach at sunset, then dinner at a divey joint that served the craziest sandwich combinations in San Francisco. Greg had hated everything about the place and made it known every time they’d gone. Brice thought Jeremy would like it. It had a Berkeley feel to it. Old Berkeley, not the new gentrified Berkeley.

But would Jeremy show up?

J
EREMY
’
S
LAB
work kept him so busy he didn’t have time to think about Brice during the days. But at night it was a different matter. Even though Brice had made it clear he thought of Jeremy as more than an object to display, he still couldn’t wipe away the unexpected sense of humiliation when Brice spun him around to show him off to the other men. It gnawed at him, day and night.

But the loneliness each night as Jeremy wondered what Brice was doing served as a powerful reminder that the emotional attachment he’d developed hadn’t changed as a result of Brice’s single moment of insensitivity. Nothing would stop him from keeping their Saturday date. He dressed with particular care to his appearance and headed for the city.

He’d been to the Java Café before, but he’d forgotten how bad the delays on the N-Judah line were, and the longer the ride took, the worse his stomach knotted. Finally, he arrived and glanced in the window, knowing how much it would hurt if Brice wasn’t there. The clock on the wall told him he was ten minutes late. The coffee shop buzzed with activity. People who had just been to the beach had the rosy-red glow from the brisk salty breezes that washed over Ocean Beach in the afternoon.

His gaze went from table to table. Then his heart trembled when he spotted Brice in the far corner. A nearly empty glass of tea sat in front of him. He wore a tan zip-up jacket, and he had the fresh windswept look, chestnut hair mussed. It was the look of someone who would be right at home at the helm of a sailboat skimming across the waves, heading out to sea under the Golden Gate Bridge.

Brice had come. He really wanted Jeremy, wanted something besides what they had at the club. Excitement made him race inside, and the look of joy on Brice’s face as he spotted Jeremy meant he’d made the right decision.

Brice stood and pulled Jeremy to him and planted a definitive kiss on his lips. It stayed tame, but no one in the place could doubt Brice’s feelings. Certainly not Jeremy. He let himself be swept up in the moment.

When they separated, Jeremy noticed the creases around Brice’s bloodshot eyes, mostly from the same sleeplessness plaguing Jeremy.

“I didn’t think you’d—” they both began, then self-consciously stopped and sat down.

Jeremy didn’t want to rehash their last meeting. Instead, he said, “You promised me a romantic walk on the beach and a beautiful sunset.”

Obvious relief flooded Brice’s face. “If the clouds cooperate. But I can’t guarantee the sunset won’t be more than a red glow.”

“I won’t hold the weather against you.” Heavy fog typified this westernmost part of San Francisco. Even in the summer, there were days the locals never saw the sun.

“Let’s go.” Brice stood and put some cash on the table before threading his arm around Jeremy’s.

They crossed the street, heading into the strong breeze coming off the ocean. Little billows of sand blew across the Great Highway as they made their way to the beach. It was a lovely day, or at least it was to Jeremy. They strolled hand in hand, Brice stopping practically every ten feet to kiss him. On Jeremy’s romance scale of one to ten, it hit eleven.

Kids flying kites raced past, and a few windsurfers in wetsuits braved the elements for the last waves of the day. When they reached the end of the beach near the zoo, Jeremy didn’t want to start back. He was too happy here and now.

Streaks of pink, orange, and red spilled across the sky as they made their way along the beach. The families and surfers had left, replaced by others strolling and enjoying the evening spectacle in the sky. Soon the evening fog would take over again, but for now it was clear and beautiful.

“You’re cold.” Brice stopped walking and pulled his jacket off.

“I’m fine.” Jeremy hadn’t even noticed the wind had picked up until now. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, but it wasn’t particularly warm. He dug in his messenger bag for a jacket and found only a dark blue Cal sweatshirt.

“You’re shivering. That’s not enough. The jacket’s warmer.” Brice took the sweatshirt and tugged the bag off Jeremy’s shoulder. Then he helped him into the tan jacket. It had a thin lining of something incredibly warm. The fabric was smooth and felt wonderful. Like all of Brice’s clothes, it was high quality and probably cost what Jeremy earned in a week.

“Thanks. What about you?”

Brice pulled the sweatshirt over his head. Jeremy reached up to draw hair out of Brice’s eyes, and Brice grabbed his hand and brought it to his mouth for a sweet kiss. “I’m perfect. That jacket looks good on you.”

“Really?” Jeremy had never paid much attention to his own clothes. Not many grad students did, especially in the sciences. It had never been an issue before. Now he was suddenly conscious of how much separated his life from Brice’s.

“Yeah. Now let’s get moving. I’m famished.” Brice took hold of Jeremy’s hand and tugged him along as they broke into a slow jog. With the wind whipping across his face and the sand soft beneath his feet, he found the sprint exhilarating. His heart was pounding, and he was a little winded when Brice slowed down. “It’s a block from the beach. Let’s cross.”

“Good. Now I’m starving too.” Jeremy’s words came out between short breaths.

“God, you sound so damn sexy when you’re breathless. Gives me chills.”

“I told you not to give me your jacket.”

“That’s not the kind of chills I meant.” Brice put an arm around Jeremy’s waist as they waited to cross the Great Highway. When the light changed, Jeremy pulled Brice into a run, even though they had plenty of time to cross the six lanes.

At the other side, Brice slowed. “Why’d you go all Usain Bolt on me?”

“Maybe I like it when you’re all breathless too. Especially when it’s my fault.”

“Mmm. Maybe we should get dinner to go.”

Jeremy laughed. It felt good, great in fact, to be joking around with Brice. Just like a real couple on a real date. The stress and uncertainty of the past few days melted away, and he let it all out in peals of uncontrollable laughter.

“I hope your laughter’s not a critique of my bedroom skills.” Brice chuckled but hadn’t joined in with Jeremy’s giddiness.

“Not at all. I’m just… just having a great time tonight.” Jeremy bit his lip. “Oh, God, I probably sound really lame. Like a sixteen-year-old girl or something. I’m sorry.”

Brice stopped and turned to Jeremy; then he brushed stray hair out of Jeremy’s eyes with a gentle touch. “It’s not lame as long as it’s honest. All I want is to know who you really are. No lies and no games.” He caressed Jeremy’s cheek and pulled his face close to plant a soft, sweet kiss on Jeremy’s lips.

The gentleness of the kiss and Brice’s fingers on his face flooded Jeremy’s entire body with desire. He was breathless again, feeling dizzy, and all entirely due to Brice.

His brain might be responding to oxytocin, but his body and heart told Jeremy he was falling in love. It felt wonderful, like flying. Jeremy had never experienced anything quite like this headiness before. But the higher Brice took him, the harder he would crash.

A
FTER
DINNER
,
when they were out on the street in front of the restaurant again, Brice took Jeremy’s hand. “Would you like to come over?”

Jeremy glanced up sharply. “What? I mean, I….” He smiled. “I’m kind of a sure thing, but it’s nice to be asked.”

His reaction was so sweet and genuine Brice wondered how he’d ever thought Jeremy was a hustler. The memory of his initial mistrust hurt. It wasn’t the only thing he needed to make up for.

“Is that a yes? Because you don’t have to, unless you want to.”

“Of course I want to. After this evening….” Jeremy left the thought hanging.

“I didn’t take you to dinner so you’d feel obligated.”

“It’s definitely cheaper than a night at the Dinner Club.”

“I don’t need two hours of public foreplay to know I want to spend the night with you. And have you there when I wake up.” Brice recalled the icy fear when he’d woken up alone in the bed at the club just a few days earlier. Jeremy had shown up tonight for their planned date, but Brice would be more careful not to insult Jeremy again.

“So what do you call your hand on my thigh during most of dinner?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow.

“Just making sure you didn’t run off.” Brice glanced up and down the street, and waved when he spotted a taxi on the next block.

“Did you think I would?”

“I’m prepared to chase you if you do.” He squeezed Jeremy’s hand.