Dipping Into Sin (a BWWM Alpha Male Romance) (15 page)

M
y heart nearly flew out of my chest when I entered the room and saw her, my
bella mia.
She looks even more enchanting today than she looked five years ago. My cock stirred, pressing hard against my pants. Our eyes connected, and I knew instantly that she still was the only woman who could bring meaning and purpose into my life. Not a day went by when I didn’t think about her. I willed myself not to search for her, even though I was tempted each day. I masked my sorrow and regret with a ruthless anger. Everyone noticed my increase of aggression and force. I turned off my humanity and became nefariously ruthless. I had no tolerance or patience for any level of mistakes from anyone. Nicolai was the only person who understood why I was in this rotten state of mind.

I despised Josephine immediately after the engagement celebration. I allowed her to spend money loosely, gallivanting around the New York City, and parading around her friends a fairy tale lifestyle built on a lie. She knew that I didn’t care for her or this marriage. Both of our families pressured us to have kids. Josephine and I knew the real reason behind our childless marriage. We rarely had sex, and I would only use condoms from my personal safe to ensure that I didn’t risk conceiving a child with her. Even though she begged to give me an heir, I knew that I never wanted to have kids with this woman. In fact, I never wanted to bring any child of mine into my dangerous world. Our marriage was non-existent, and I lived each day with continuous regret. I often had to remind myself that it was all for duty, loyalty, protection, and family.

I had three
goomahs
on the side that I fucked throughout the week. They were on a monthly allowance, and I took care of their bills and rent. Even though I’m powerful and wealthy, and could have my pick of any woman, I couldn’t find happiness. My only happiness came from when I thought about her, my
bella mia
. I knew that there was a great chance that she would be here tonight. I reveled in the thought of seeing her again, even to the extent of being kind to Josephine.

Donald Spillmore was assassinated, and I put the hit out on him. After nearly forty years of service and loyalty, he threw all of that history away when he decided to compile a file and work with the FBI to bring down my empire. Apparently, the IRS contacted the FBI after building a case against him. According to our sources, Donald was evading tax laws and becoming sloppy with hiding his side money. Donald seemed to forget about the number of government agencies that were on the Balducci payroll. We funded state and national elections for candidates, who successfully won their elections.

The day after my father died, I decided to rearrange our business completely. Only a select few were privy to top-level details. Donald Spillmore was not one of them. Even though I didn’t get the initial support from everyone, I earned respect and loyalty. My successful approach allowed everyone to become millionaires. Of course, there were rivals and enemies who despised my empire, and I knew that I had to kill them one by one. Since walking away from Simone five years ago, I became an animal. The termination of our baby still haunts me to this day.
It’s the reason why I don’t want to have kids with Josephine—I want my kids to come from my bella mia
. In my heart, I could only commit my love to Simone. No matter how many women and distractions I brought into my life, she truly had my heart and soul. She was the only person who could pull me back from this dark hole that I was sinking deeper into.

I knew that I fucked up when I followed her into the bathroom. It was hard enough that I had to settle with brushing a kiss against her cheek. Her soft and delicate hand shook as I held it firmly in my grip. I watched her every move the whole time at the wake, and I was determined to catch her alone by any means necessary. She was stooped over the sink and looked as if she was meditating. The closer I got to her, the more I needed my cock to be buried into her. Hell, I would even settle for licking her sweet pussy. I stared at her sexy backside and felt my cock painfully expand more, as I walked closer to her. She looked up at me, and all restraints broke.

“
Bella mia
,” I said breathlessly before I pressed her soft curvy body into mine. For the first time in a long time, everything felt right, and my life felt complete. I didn’t care who walked in and caught us because I was determined to get my fill of her. Simone’s body had developed into a woman’s, as her breasts were slightly bigger, and her hips were rounder. She still had a small frame, but her curves were more defined. We kissed each other like two lost lovers who were just reunited after time apart. Her response to my touch and tongue assured me that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I became possessed as I set out to claim what was rightfully mine.
This is my pussy
, I whispered in her ear as I slid her fitted leather skirt over her large rump. More than anything, I wanted to bury my head in between her legs and suck on her clit until she came hard in my mouth. All that was halted, when she shoved me away from her. Her beautiful eyes bored into me with such disgust and hatred. My anger intensified, as it dawned on me that behind her hatred was pure sadness. She stormed out of the bathroom after demanding that I leave her alone. When the ceremony ended, I rushed out of the funeral home, determined to keep a far enough distance between Simone and me. I dropped Josephine off at our home and headed to my loft in the city.

It was 4 AM, and I was drinking, yet again, trying to drown my pain with alcohol. This time, there was no going back as I allowed the anger and controlled rage to pour out.
I refuse to let her go…not this time. She’s mine
. I didn’t care about the fact that she wanted me to stay away from her. I couldn’t go through another five years without her in my life. Pulling out my phone, I scrolled through my phone book and stopped at Lucas. After two rings, Lucas picked up.

“I need you to find everything out about Simone Sinn. You have forty-eight hours,” I said before I ended the call.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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DJ Parker is a self-proclaimed romance novel enthusiast hailing from the Big Apple; New York City. She enjoys reading and is a passionate romance writer.

She has a B.A. in Forensic Psychology and is currently working on her Masters degree
.
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