Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality (30 page)

Wolf, N. (1997).
Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood.
New York: Random House.

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American Psychologist,
49(8), 748–754.

Wyatt, G. E. (1997).
Stolen Women: Reclaiming Our Sexuality, Taking Back Our Lives.
New York: John Wiley and Sons.

Yoffe, E., Marszalek, D., & Selix, C. (1991). “Girls Who Go Too Far.”

Newsweek,
July 22, 58–59.

Young, L. (1992). “Sexual Abuse and the Problem of Embodiment.”
Child Abuse and Neglect,
16, 89–100.

INDEX

Abstinence-only sex education, 202–203

Adios, Barbie
(Walker), 198–199 African American girls, 166–167, 170, 191, 222n2, 224–225n4.

See also
Urban girls Agency, 6, 73, 130, 158–162,

173

Aguilera, Christina, 7–8 AIDS.
See
HIV/AIDS

Alan Guttmacher Institute, 166 Alcohol, 64, 139–140, 147, 164

Alexandra, 29, 42, 183–184

Amber, 29, 158–162, 164, 178, 183,

191, 206

Ambivalence, 48, 100–115; fear

of being used, 91–92, 101–107;

internal, 103, 111; confusion, 107–115; critique of social roles, 108–109

Amy, 29, 36

Angela, 29, 36

Anxiety, 69

Assertiveness, 7, 159–161

Authenticity, 20, 22, 156

Barbara, 29, 42, 45–46, 140–145,

164, 174

Bartky, Sandra, 54

Being used, fear of, 91–92, 101–107

Bernardez, Teresa, 115

Betrayal, 75–76

Beverly, 29, 37, 46

Bisexuality.
See
Sexual minority girls Body, 34; knowledge of, 20–21,

50–51, 59–60, 64–65, 78,

212–213; disembodiment and

disconnection, 51–55, 113–114,

170–171, 179; voice of, 210–211.

See also
Confused body; Dissociation; “It just happened” stories; Silent body

Body image, 115, 222n2 Bordo, Susan, 54

Boredom, 103, 105–106, 122, 160

Boys Don’t Cry,
18

Boys’ sexuality, 205, 217–218n4, 218n5; males as sexual predators, 4–5, 104–105; social construction

of, 13–15, 24

Brandon, Teena, 18

251

Brown, Lyn, 38–39, 54, 134–135, 170

Burson, Colette, 6 Butler, Judith, 223n2

Caraway, Nancie, 166

Call to Action to Promote Sexual Health and Responsible Sexual Behavior, A
(D. Satcher), 3

Cassandra, 29, 42

Charlene, 29, 46

Christian-Smith, Linda, 81

Coming Soon,
6

Compulsory heterosexuality, 16–17,

46, 111–114

Confidence, 159

Confused body, 47, 66–77, 177; sexual abuse and, 66–71; lack of clarity, 67–69; dissociation, 72–77

Consciousness: dual, 80, 93, 101;

self-, 103–104; political, 118–119,

140–141, 150–162, 198; false,

221n2, 222n1

Consciousness-raising groups, 190–191

Contraception, 12, 53, 92, 96, 159,

162, 203

Contradictory desire, 80–81, 83–88

Cover stories, 2–3

Cultural factors, 30, 36

Curiosity, 57–60

Danger, eroticization of, 93–94, 133, 221n2.
See also
Reputation; Sexual abuse; Social consequences of desire; Violence

Debold, Elizabeth, 21, 115

Decision making, 6

Defensiveness, 157–158

Desire: denial of female, 2, 5, 8,

12–17, 54–55, 74–75, 189, 201;

cover stories, 2–3; social context of, 2–3, 37–38; social construc-

tion of, 13–15, 24, 38; missing

discourse of, 14, 35–26, 43;

knowledge of, 20–21, 50–51,

59–60, 64–65, 78, 212–213;

girls’ perspectives, 23–24;

phenomenology of, 23–24; personal dilemma of, 43–48, 115–116, 120; as dangerous,

46–47, 56–57, 76–79, 103–104,

127–128; strategies for negotiating, 47–48, 189; denial of by girls, 48,

213; mind-body interplay, 48,

85–87, 96–97, 183–184; politics

of, 48–49, 118–119, 150–162,

164–165; contradictions, 80–81, 83–88; as source of vulnerability, 85–88, 90–92, 95–96, 181–182;

fear and, 93–94.
See also
Confused body; Entitlement to desire; Resistance to desire; Sexuality; Silent body; Social consequences of desire

Disappearing desire, 82–100

Disembodiment, 51–55; sexual minority girls and, 113–114; suburban girls, 170–171, 179

Dissociation, 51–55, 88, 177; sexual violence and, 51–52; confused body and, 72–77; dangers of, 78–79; distancing, 88–94

Dodson, Lisa, 25–26

Double standard, 14–16, 46, 61,

74–75, 174, 199.
See also
Good girl/bad girl dichotomy

Dual consciousness, 80, 93, 101

Education, 57, 87–88, 91, 176

Ellen, 29, 45, 83–88, 174

Embodiment, 50–51, 188, 210, 213;

disembodiment, 51–55, 113–114,

170–171, 179

Emily, 29, 45, 100, 101–107, 116,

177, 193

Emotions, 121–122, 134–135,

205–206; mind-body interplay,

48, 85–87, 96–97, 183–184

Empowerment, 183

Entitlement to desire, 48, 100,

162–165; within relationship,

46, 120–128, 156–157, 163;

ambivalence and, 101–102, 111; context of experiences, 121–128; institution of heterosexuality and, 122–123; flirtation, 128–134; decision to delay sexual interc- ourse, 129–130, 163–164;

management of desire, 134–135; desire under cover, 134–150, 163–164; reputational fears and, 137–140; childhood sexual abuse and, 142–143; interpersonal/

psychological issues, 143–145; sexual minority girls, 145–150; political consciousness, 150–162,

198; geographic context, 177,

180

Erotic voice, 41–43, 55, 187–188,

210–213

Eugenia, 29, 46, 121–128, 163, 178,

191, 195, 196–197

False consciousness, 221n2, 222n1 Family structures, 28

Federal policy, 17

Femininity, 81, 115; dissociation and,

51–55; norms of, 53–54, 221n4;

social control and, 53–55, 128;

Perfect Girl, 170–171, 179, 186

Feminist analyses, 16–17, 48

Feminist consciousness, 118–119,

190, 198, 222–223n2

Feminist research, 25, 38–39, 48, 53.

See also
Methodology; Research Fine, Michelle, 14, 26, 59, 80–81,

173, 189, 202, 204–205

Flirtation, 128–134

Frank, Anne, 1

Frankenberg, Ruth, 215

Freud, Sigmund, 77, 221–222n6 Frustration, 45–46, 145–150

Gagnon, John, 14

Gaze, 81–82, 151

Gee, James, 37

Gender roles, 4–7, 46–47, 80–81.
See also
Double standard; Femininity; Good girl/bad girl dichotomy; Romance narrative; Sexual objectification; Social consequences of desire

Geographic context, 54, 168–169, 199–200; Urban Girl stereotype, 166–167, 169–170, 186; Perfect

Girl stereotype, 170–171, 179,

186; suburban girls, 170–171,

Geographic context (
cont.
) 176–180; differences and similarities, 172–173; and self- protection, 172, 173–176, 178; urban girls, 173–176; of violence, 174, 177, 180; of vulnerability,

181–182; of sexual abuse, 182–184;

mind-body interplay, 183–184; sexual minority girls, 184–185

Gill, Ros, 201–202

Gilligan, Carol, 38–39, 54, 134–135,

200

Good girl/bad girl dichotomy, 8–12, 45–46, 81–82, 105–106, 131;

political consciousness of, 118–119, 140–141; entitlement

and, 119–121, 129; geographic

context, 170–171, 179; trust and, 195–196.
See also
Double standard

Gray, Macy, 187

Guilt, 128–129

Hammonds, Evelynn, 225n4

Handbook of Adolescent Development

(Miller and Simon), 3 Have/hold discourse, 211 Heterosexuality, institution of,

17–18, 38, 164, 188, 211;

compulsory heterosexuality, 16–17, 46, 111–114; threat of sexual violence, 52–53; critique of, by girls, 100–101, 107–111;

resistance to, 118–119, 131–134, 189, 222–223n2; entitlement and, 122–123; geographic context, 179, 184–185.
See also
Danger; Double

standard; Femininity; Good girl/bad girl dichotomy; Rich, Adrienne; Romance narrative; Sexual minority girls

HIV/AIDS, 10, 53, 90–91, 103, 162,

166–167, 174, 176, 217n4, 219n1,

226n10

Holland, Janet, 14, 222–223n2 Hollibaugh, Amber, 201 Hollway, Wendy, 211, 218n5 Homosexuality, 218n7.
See also

Sexual minority girls

Honore, 29, 36–37

hooks, bell, 205

Hormones, 13–15, 217n2, 218n5 Hypotheses, 43

Industrial Revolution, 171

Inez, 1–2, 21–22, 29, 42,

94–100, 115–117, 175,

183, 192

Interviews, 1–2, 31–37, 66–67,

195–197; groups, 31–33, 195

“It just happened” stories, 1–2, 21–22, 60–64, 67, 89–90, 95

Jack, Dana, 128

James, William, 20

Jane, 29, 42, 45

Janine, 29, 55–60, 175

Jenny, 29, 60–65, 78, 179, 181,

192

Jordan, Judith, 29, 36

Julia, 29, 45

Kim, 29, 45, 71–77, 78, 181

Kitzinger, Celia, 199

Knowledge of desire, 20–21, 50–51, 59–60, 64–65, 78,

212–213

Landers, Ann, 8–9

Latina girls, 166, 170, 225–226n5.

See also
Urban girls Laumann, Edward, 227n1 Laura, 29, 66–71

Lesbian identity.
See
Sexual minority girls

Lewinsky, Monica, 7

Lily, 29, 42–43, 45

Listening Guide, 38–39, 209–211

Liz, 29, 42

Lorde, Audre, 25, 41, 187

Madonna, 7

Madonna-whore split, 11–12.
See also
Good girl/bad girl dichotomy

Magda, 29, 45

Malave, I., 21

Martin, Karin, 6, 25, 218n9

Master narrative, 14 Masturbation, 196; negative view

of, 60, 204; as violation of

femininity, 60–61, 74, 103,

111; ambivalence toward, 74,

127; positive view of, 129, 158

Meaning, 13–14

Media images, 7–8, 17, 18

Megan, 29, 43, 45, 46, 100–101,

107–115, 116, 117, 185, 192, 194,

196, 204

Melissa, 29, 45, 145–150, 163,

164, 206

Methodology, 26–31, 209–215,

219nn1–3; interviews, 1–2, 31–37, 195–197; explanation of research to girls, 31–35; data collection, 33–34; race/class issues, 35–36; silence, forms of, 35–36; girls’ answers, 35–37; trust and, 36–37; listening, 37–41; Listening Guide, 38–39, 209–211; voices, 39,

211–214; interpretation, 39–40,

209–210, 214–215; organization of narrative, 40–41; self stories, 209–210; desire voices, 210–211; reliability, 211–212; coding voices, 211–214; researcher bias, 214–215.
See also
Feminist research; Research; Voice-based analysis

Miller, Jean Baker, 20

Missing discourse of desire, 14, 25–26, 43

Moral code, 128

Moral panic, 8–9

Narrative form, 37

National Commission on Adolescent Sexual Health, 3

Nikki, 29, 45, 184

No-body body, 115

Nonverbal expression, 39

One-night stands, 138–140

Oral sex, 10, 124–125, 129, 144–145,

153

Orgasm, 7, 126–127, 142, 158

Other, 128, 171

Othermothers, 193

Over-Eye, 128

Parents, 83, 84, 92; research project and, 30–31; stereotypical views, 45, 75–76; unsupportive, 56, 66,

70, 83; supportive, 109, 125–126,

129, 145, 191, 197–198

Parker, Richard, 14

Passive voice, 67

Passivity, 59, 189; performance of,

132–133, 143–144

Paulina, 29, 42, 152–158, 164, 172,

173, 174, 190

Peer relationships: fears for reputation, 31–33, 66, 98–99, 123,

129, 195–196; silent body and,

58–59

People pleasing behavior, 105–107 Perfect Girl, 170–171, 179, 186

Philips, Lynn, 47

Pink Slip, 203–204

Pleasure narrators, 191

Plummer, Ken, 48, 198

Politics of desire, 48–49, 118–119,

140–141, 150–162, 164–165

Power, 199; erotic voice, 41–43, 187–188; sexual subjectivity and, 131–132, 159–160

Pregnancy, adolescent, 10, 136; fear

of, 45, 53, 86, 91, 174; racial

images of, 166–167

Pretense of pleasure, 7, 105–107,

126–127, 137, 156, 179

Promiscuities
(N. Wolf), 8 Psychological health, 3–4, 12–13,

19–22, 115, 134–135

Public policy, 9

Purity campaigns, 171

Race, 12, 35–36, 53, 166–169,

199–200; images of pregnancy, 166–167.
See also
African American girls; Geographic context; Latina girls

Ramazanoglu, Caroline, 222–223n2 Rape, 11, 53, 65, 75–76

Relational voices, 210

Relationships, 131; desire for, 4–5,

89–90; desire as part of, 41–42;