Did You Miss Me? (34 page)

The look she gave him left no doubt that she was more frustrated. She crooked her finger again and he bent close. ‘What?’ he whispered.

She searched his face, then once again lifted her hand. To touch his lips. She touched the corner of her own mouth before sinking into the bed, her body drained. Her eyes were narrowed in question.

‘Did I kiss you?’

A single nod.

‘If I say yes, am I going to get yelled at?’

Another nod. And the slight curving of her mouth around the tube.

His heart began to race. ‘If I do it again, what will you do?’

Her eyes changed, grew very serious. Sad. Her shoulder lifted.

His racing heart slowed, stuttering. ‘This didn’t change anything, did it?’

She looked away.

‘I never took you for a coward, Stevie,’ he said quietly and her gaze swung back, angrily. ‘Did I make you mad? Good. I’m glad. Because you make me mad. If today didn’t change anything for you, then you’re either a liar or a fool. And I never took you for either of those, either.’ He leaned closer, until he could see every dark eyelash. ‘I’m not a coward or liar, but I might be a fool because I’m not giving up on you. Nor am I giving you up. So consider yourself on notice, Detective Mazzetti. Things will be different when you get out of here. I’m not going to wait forever, because we don’t
have
forever. If things had been any different this morning, we might not even have this moment. So if you’re not “ready”, then you’d best spend your time in here figuring out how to
get
“ready”.’

He let the words hang between them while she stared up at him, her nostrils flaring slightly. ‘And you need to know that if that tube weren’t sticking down your throat that I’d be kissing you the way I’ve wanted to for a long, long time.’ He flicked a glance at the heart monitor, his lips quirking at the jump in her pulse. ‘That’s really cool. I can see exactly how much that affects you.’

Her eyes narrowed dangerously and he knew he’d pushed too far. ‘I’m going now,’ he said, softening his voice. ‘But I’ll be back. I promise.’ He brushed his lips over hers, watched her eyes drift closed and all his bravado fled. ‘God, Stevie.’ His voice broke. ‘I thought I was going to lose you before I ever had you.’

Because you’ve never had her
.
You just have a lot of wishes
.

He straightened with a weary sigh. ‘You know, just forget what I said. I can’t make you want me. I can’t make you be ready. I won’t stalk you or force you in any way. That’s not who I am. If you decide you want to see what we could have together . . . well, you know where to find me.’

His step heavy, Clay walked back to the waiting area. Sorin was waiting by the door, blocking his path. ‘What?’ Clay asked dully.

‘She’s my twin, you know. I’m five minutes older.’

Clay shook his head. ‘No, I didn’t know. I hope she recovers.’

Sorin huffed a rueful chuckle. ‘I know Stefania better than anyone. She will recover because she’s too damn stubborn to do otherwise. She’s also doomed to be alone for the rest of her life for the same reason. Which makes her a coward and a fool.’ He lifted a shoulder. ‘I listened at the door of her room just now.’

Clay’s jaw clenched.
Keep it together
.
Don’t knock his head off his shoulders in ICU or that nurse will yell at you again
.
‘
I suppose that’s your right.’

‘No, it wasn’t, but I did it anyway. You were right, you know. Up until the end when you folded.’

Clay’s chin lifted. ‘I didn’t fold. I reconsidered.’

‘Whatever. Just, please don’t give up on her.’ Sorin stared at him hard, then offered his hand. ‘Be well, Mr Maynard.’

Clay shook his hand. ‘You too. Your folks have my cell phone and email. Can you let me know if she needs anything?’

‘Other than a swift kick in the pants? Sure.’ With that he stepped back and let Clay pass. Mercifully, Stevie’s parents weren’t in the waiting area. Hopefully they’d gone home to sleep.

Which is where I’ll go
.
Home
. But not to sleep. Because Ford was still missing. And because his heart physically hurt like it never had before.

He’d never gotten a chance to talk to the MacGregors. Maybe he’d drive back up to Philly and do that tomorrow. Because there was always a tomorrow.
Just ask Stevie,
he thought bitterly.
She thinks she has a million of them
.

Chapter Fourteen

Tuesday, December 3, 11.30
P.M.

J
oseph parked in his parents’ driveway behind the police cruiser he’d had stationed there after the shooting. He hadn’t checked on his family all day so he showed his badge to the officer and let himself into the house, only to be met with a low growl.

‘Oh for God’s sake,’ he muttered. ‘It’s me, Patty.’ He turned on the foyer light and the growling immediately ceased, an adult Rottweiler jumping up on him to say hello. ‘No.’ He pushed the dog down, glaring. ‘You could learn a lot of manners from Tasha.’

He hung his coat over the banister and cut through the living room to the kitchen—

Where he stopped short, not sure what he was seeing. Not because the room was dark, but because . . . His mind registered the men’s Nikes on the floor next to a lacy white bra before he saw his youngest sister poking her head up over the back of the sofa, a pair of boxers in her hand.

Oh
.
My
.
God
. He spun around clenching his eyes shut. ‘Holly?’

‘Joseph?’ Holly said tentatively. ‘Didn’t know you were coming home.’

‘I guess not.’ He shook his head, hoping to dislodge what he’d seen, and thought of Daphne waving her hands, saying
Bleach for my eyes, stat!
‘Who is he?’

‘His name’s Dillon. We met at our social center. Say hi, Dillon.’

‘Hi?’ Dillon squeaked, then cleared his throat. ‘Hi,’ he said in a deeper voice that still trembled a little. ‘Is he going to kill me?’ he added in a whisper.

Joseph rubbed his pounding temples. ‘It depends. Is this . . . consensual?’ He choked out the word.

‘Of course. I’m twenty-eight, Joseph! I’m not a little girl anymore, so back off.’

He knew Holly thought he was over-protective because she had Down syndrome, but that wasn’t true. He’d felt this way about his other sisters, too. But Holly was more vulnerable, even if she didn’t want to accept the notion.

He thought about the bra and the boxers. This seemed a situation better handled by his mother. Because he just might kill the guy and that might be wrong.

‘Just put on your clothes. Please.’ He hurried to his father’s study, where there was a light on under the door. He knocked then went in, not waiting for a reply. ‘Dad, have you seen Mom? She needs to— Oh,
hell
no.’ He spun around for the second time in as many minutes. ‘Goddamn hell.’

Yes, his father had seen his mother.
And now, so have I
.

‘God put doors on rooms for a reason, Joseph,’ his mother said impatiently.

‘Next time wait for me to say come in,’ his father added, in a sour voice.

Joseph could hear zippers zipping and wanted to stick his fingers in his ears. ‘What is
wrong
with you people? Is this house under some kind of sex spell?’

‘What are you talking about?’ his father asked.

‘I just caught Holly and some guy named Dillon . . . You need to do something.’

‘She is twenty-eight, Joseph,’ his mother said. ‘You can turn around now.’

‘No. I’m never turning around again. You’re okay with her doing it on the sofa?’

‘Well, no,’ his mother said. ‘I’ll have a talk with Holly about appropriate spaces. But Joseph, you need to know . . . Dillon’s asked to marry her.’

Joseph turned around at that, staring at his mother. ‘Is that okay with you?’

‘Maybe you didn’t hear the first time?’ his mother said. ‘She’s twenty-eight. So is he. They are adults with Down syndrome who work full-time and are quite capable of living independently, with a little help from us. We like him. And he loves her.’

Joseph blew out a breath, humbled. ‘I guess I can’t ask for more than that.’

‘This is what we’ve prepared her for, Joseph. A life of her own, just like any of our other children. I’m sure Holly wanted you to find out a little differently, though.’

‘I could live my whole life without seeing any of this again.’

His mother climbed out of his father’s lap, lightly slapping Jack’s hands away when he tried to drag her back. ‘I’d better take Dillon home.’

‘He doesn’t drive?’

‘Most of the time yes, but he’s wise enough to ask for a lift when the weather is bad, like tonight. I hope you didn’t threaten to kill him. He’s a sensitive young man.’

‘I would never threaten to kill him.’

‘You threatened to make her last three boyfriends eunuchs,’ his mother said, exasperated. ‘And then
I
had to explain to Holly what a eunuch was. I love you, Joseph, but you’re uptight. Other people have sex lives, including your father and me. We did make four children.’

‘Please,’ he begged. ‘No more. I’m sorry. I just . . . Bleach my eyes.’

His mother’s eyes twinkled. ‘Well,
sugar,
that just answered my next question. You’ve been spending time with Daphne.’ She sobered. ‘How is she?’

Joseph’s body hardened, just remembering how she was, then he felt guilty as hell. ‘She’s holding up, for now. Stevie woke up, so we’ve had
some
good news.’

‘We heard. Paige called.’ She studied Joseph’s face, suddenly sad. ‘You don’t think you’re going to find Ford, do you?’

‘There are so many possibilities. I don’t even know why he was taken.’

She patted his cheek tenderly. ‘I’m sorry, son. You never said why you came tonight. What can we do for you?’

‘I wanted to be sure you all were okay, that the police had been providing good security. I should have come earlier, but I’ve had kind of a busy day.’

‘We know,’ his mother said dryly. ‘The police have been kind. We don’t need them, though. You’ve always had us locked up tighter than Fort Knox.’

‘I didn’t want to take any chances.’

‘And we appreciate that. We’re really fine, so stop worrying. I’ll go see to Holly now. You visit with your dad.’

Joseph had a hard time looking at his father. His father, on the other hand, seemed to find Joseph’s discomfort wildly amusing. ‘If you could have seen the look on your face,’ his father said, chuckling.

‘Look, Dad, I’m really happy you and Mom have a healthy . . . God . . . love life, but no kid wants to think of their parents that way.’

‘I know.’ His father walked over to his desk where he kept the good Scotch. ‘Are you here for the night? Can I pour you a drink?’

‘Yes and yes. Make it a double, please.’ He sat down next to the fire. ‘Zoe’s supposed to stop by after her date tonight. I need her advice.’

His father handed him his Scotch, then settled in the other chair. ‘About women or killers?’

‘Killers. I’m okay on the women.’

‘Bleach my eyes,’ his father said, mimicking Daphne’s drawl. ‘I am so glad you finally made your move, Joseph. I was ready to draw you a damn diagram. What took you so long, anyway?’

‘I thought she was taken.’

‘By whom?’

‘Maynard.’

‘Hell, Joseph. Clay Maynard’s all sloppy-eyed over Stevie Mazzetti.’

Joseph stared at his father. ‘How do you know all this?’

‘Because I listen when the ladies come over for “major mojitos”.’

‘What the hell is that?’

‘Girl time. Paige apparently started it with Daphne, and before I knew it Zoe and your mother and Holly and Lisa and Judy were card-carrying members of the major mojito club. Daphne’s mother and Maggie come too, and sometimes Stevie. Not often. Her sister Izzy comes occasionally. But whoever comes, they talk and talk and watch sappy movies and do their nails.’ He shook his head. ‘Your mother absolutely loves it. They gossip and I listen and learn all kinds of stuff.’

‘They just let you hang around and listen?’

‘Who do you think makes the mojitos? I’ve become a damned good bartender. I can even make chocolate martinis.’ His father grinned, then it faded to a wistful smile. ‘Your mother and I don’t pry in our kids’ lives. Not a lot anyway. But we know how unhappy you’ve been, Joseph. We want you to have a life as good as the one we have. I want you to have someone to grow old with and embarrass your children with when they catch you in compromising positions.’

Joseph’s throat closed. ‘I would love to have what you have, Dad.’

His father’s swallow was audible. ‘You know, I’ve been worried all day about Ford. He’s such a good kid and I can’t stand the thought that he could be hurt or worse. Your mother came in here tonight and found me staring at the fire. She sat in my lap to comfort me. It just kind of . . . got better from there.’ He was quiet for a long moment. ‘After all these years she still knows what I need before I do. If you can find one tenth of what your mother and I have, you’ll be a lucky man. And I will be the world’s happiest father.’

The flames got blurry as Joseph’s eyes filled. When he could finally clear his throat he whispered, ‘What if I can’t find him for her, Dad?’

‘You’ll cross that bridge when you get there, Joseph. I never said it would be easy.’

His father hadn’t spouted empty promises and Joseph appreciated that. ‘Worthwhile things never are,’ he said quietly.

‘That’s bullshit,’ his father declared. ‘Whoever said that was full of it.’

Joseph’s mouth curved. ‘
You
said that to me when I was in high school.’

‘I did? Huh. Well. It’s not true. Sometimes the most worthwhile things are right in front of our eyes. We just make them hard because we think that gives them more value. You make things too difficult, Joseph. It doesn’t have to be hard.’ His father stood up, clapped his hands together. ‘Are you hungry?’

‘Yes. Yes, I am. I haven’t eaten all day.’

‘Then come with me. I’ll make you some food.’

West Virginia, Tuesday, December 3, 11.50
A.M.

One foot
.
In front of the other
. Head down against the wind, Ford forced his frozen feet to trudge upward. Just a few more steps to reach the top of the hill.

How many hills had he climbed? Fifty? Sixty? A hundred?
So tired
.

No longer did he think of saving Kim with every beat of his heart. He’d been reduced to a single word, pounding in his head—

Frostbite
.
Frostbite
.
Frostbite
. Every time his foot thundered into the snow, pain sliced up his legs.
I’m going to lose my feet
.
God, please
.
Let somebody find me
.
Please
.
Before it’s too late
.

The ground under his feet leveled. He’d reached the top of the hill. He was afraid to look. He’d been disappointed too many times.

Please
.
A house
.
Anything
.
Just let me see light
. Gritting his teeth, he forced his chin to lift until he could see the world before him.

‘No,’ he moaned. All he could see was shades of dark. No lights. No houses. Just trees. More road. And the next hill.

Fuck it!
Fury rushed up, momentarily energizing him, and the next thing he knew his backpack was flying through the air, landing twenty feet away.

His shoulders sagged as the fit of temper rushed out as fast as it had rushed in. His eyes stung.
No
. He willed himself not to cry. A tear would leave his face wet.

That was really stupid, you fuck
. The pack had landed on the side of the road, in the snow. Now he’d have to wade through a snowdrift to get his shit. The pack still had a strip of jerky. And that girl’s purse.

Heather
. Perspective returned and with it, determination. The girl might be alive. Kim might be alive.
But you won’t be alive if you don’t move your ass
.

Keep going
.
One foot in front of the other
. Grimacing, he threw his right foot forward and prepared for the pain. And then he heard it. Ford went still, afraid to hope. But there it was, behind him.

An engine. A car was coming.
Thank you, God
.
Thank you
.

Shuffling, he turned around. Headlights.
Thank you
. The lights came closer, growing larger, then blurred as his eyes filled with tears. This time he let them fall. His face burned and he didn’t care.

Finally
.
Hurry
.
Please hurry
.

He lifted his arm to wave as the car grew closer.

Not a car. A van. It slowed, then rolled to a stop.

The headlights blinded him and he shielded his eyes with his forearm, wincing. The door opened. Someone got out. Ford couldn’t see the face. The headlights . . . 
So bright
.

‘Hel—’ Only a croak emerged. He cleared his throat. ‘Hello.’

A sharp crack split the air. Sharp points puncturing his leg.

‘No!’ The roar burst from his chest and then all he knew was the pain.
Not again
. He fell to his knees, convulsing.
Not again
. Then he fell face-first into the snow. He saw the shoes, inches from his face, felt the pressure in his back. A knee.

Fight
.
Dammit, fight
. But his body was disconnected from his brain.

A hand yanked back the collar of his shirt a split second before the needle plunged into his neck. Ford could smell the aftershave. Same as before.
Him
.
It was him again
. Warm breath bathed his ear and he knew what would come next.

No
.
Not again
.
Please
.

‘I’m back,’ the man purred. ‘Did you miss me?’

It was happening again. And there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

Baltimore, Maryland, Tuesday, December 3, 11.50
P.M.

Joseph was following his father to the kitchen when he heard a small voice calling his name. He looked up the stairs and smiled.

‘Holly-bear,’ he said softly.

She was dressed in a soft, thankfully modest robe, pink bunny slippers on her feet. She padded down the stairs, her expression tentative. ‘You’re staying here tonight?’ She got to the bottom step and looked up at him. Holly was only four-ten so she tended to look up a lot.