Diane Warner's Wedding Question & Answer (15 page)

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Authors: Diane Warner

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Page 124
the receiving line, to the food service, to the cake cutting, to the first dance, etc. Be sure to give this dear person a
wonderful
thank you gift for performing this monumental task.
What's a "food station"?
A food station is the latest fad for serving reception food. Each station is a separate table that serves a certain type of food. For example, you may have a seafood table, a prime rib table (where a chef stands carving), an hors d'oeuvres table, a fruit and cheese table, etc. Of course, you viii also have a special station for your wedding cake. The nice thing about food stations is that many guests can be served at once because these tables are spread all over the reception hall. In the case of economical reception foods, such as finger sandwiches, chips and dip, or crackers and cheese, food stations can make simple foods seem like "more." The guests enjoy the concept, too, because it gives them a chance to move around the room, visiting with other guests clustered around the various stations.
Is it possible for a catering service to prepare recipes provided to them by our family? We have certain traditional ethnic foods that are usually served at our family weddings, but we don't want to go through the work of preparing them ourselves
.
Yes, it is not at all unusual for a caterer to be asked to prepare a family favorite. As a matter of fact, if truth be known, caterers get tired of fixing the same old things week after week and they enjoy the challenge!
Do you have any clever ideas for favors that don't cost a fortune?
I've seen some really fun and original favors lately; here are some of them:
 
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Decorate the handle of a 10-inch candle with tufted netting, tiny silk flowers and narrow dangling ribbons; at the end of the reception give one to each guest to light and use to form a "going-away" path for the bride and groom. This only works, of course, for an evening wedding.
Give each guest a decorated packet of seeds with a personalized note attached that reads something like this: "As these seeds bloom into flowers, may they remind you of how much we love you."
Use this same idea, only with a tiny tree sapling. (They are available at very little cost from your state forestry department.)
Give each guest a bottle of bubble blowing liquid, wrapped in lace or tulle netting and tied at the neck with a narrow ribbon. Then, during your first dance, the guests can blow bubbles over you (a la Lawrence Welk) and as you leave the reception they can create a shower of bubbles as you rush to your getaway car.
As each single guest or couple arrives at the reception, have their photo taken using a Polaroid camera; then, attach each photo to a designated tree at the reception, along with a loving note from the bride and groom thanking the guest for sharing the day, etc. The photos are then given as favors to the guests as they leave the reception.
If it's a Christmas wedding, give each guest a special ornament customized with the names of the bride and groom and the wedding date. This idea works well with wooden rocking horses, plain glass ball ornaments, and most bread dough ornaments, such as a wreath, stocking, or gingerbread house.
For a Polynesian theme, give each guest a fresh or silk flower lei or inexpensive shell lei, which can be purchased at an Oriental import outlet.
 
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Write a personalized message in black calligraphy onto a piece of parchment, which then can be rolled and tied with a narrow satin ribbon in your wedding colors. Make up a master and have it copied onto 8 1/2 × 14 sheets of parchment paper; each sheet will provide nine scrolls.
Order chocolate kisses from The Hershey Company (800-233-2168) wrapped in silver foil or various pastel colored foils. Sprinkle them generously along the center of all the tables.
Create your own customized bookmarks on your word processor that include your names, wedding date, your vows, and a thank you message.
We know the bride and groom have the first dance, but what is the dance order after that?
After the bride and groom have danced together, here is the normal order:
The bride's father cuts in on the groom to dance with his daughter while the groom dances with his new mother-in-law.
The bride dances with the groom's father while the groom dances with his own mother.
The bride dances with the best man while the groom dances with the honored bridal attendant.
The DJ or band leader then invites the rest of the guests to join in.
sometime during the reception, be sure the bride dances with each groomsman and the groom with each bridal attendant.
When you think about it, this is all pretty logical, but don't get flustered if the order doesn't go exactly as planned. No one will notice or care.
 
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My parents were divorced and remarried, as were my fiancé's. How do we handle the dance sequence at the reception without hurting feelings?
My suggestion is to forego the normal sequence and emphasize you and your groom's first dance together, followed by everyone joining in, beginning with the bridal attendants and their dance partners. Later on, after the parents have danced with their spouses, it would be appropriate for you and your fiancé to exchange partners with them.
I've heard some real horror stories about caterers who add on so many unexpected charges. What can we do to protect ourselves?
Again, as I always say, no matter whose services you are engaging,
always
get it in writing. If the caterer's contract doesn't include everything that was represented to you, write it in and have the caterer initial it. Here are some things to have clearly understood in advance:
If you're purchasing a certain "wedding package" from the caterer,
exactly
what does it include?
What does a sample place setting consist of?
What decorations, if any, are included in the price?
Will all tables be "skirted" at their expense? (A paper skirt that wraps the table from the tabletop to the floor.)
Exactly how much food and drink will be provided per guest?
What about an open bar? Exactly what are the charges? And what are the brands that will be served?
 
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What is the policy on champagne? Are there pouring fees? Cake cutting fees? Cleanup fees? Bartender fees? Hostess fees?
Will you be required to purchase your wedding cake from them? Or may you furnish your own from another source?
How many servers will be provided for their fee?
Will they set up all the tables in advance?
Are they covered by insurance against china or crystal breakage? If not, are you allowed to purchase insurance?
Exactly how much do they charge to extend the reception past the agreed hour?
When is the deadline for your guest count?
Are taxes and gratuities included in the contract?
What is a "groom's cake"?
Traditionally, a piece of the cake a maiden placed under her pillow the night after a wedding so that she would dream of the man she is to marry; however, you don't find a groom's cake at many weddings these days, but when you do it is usually a dark cake, either chocolate or fruitcake. Often the cake is baked in advance, cut into small squares and packaged into white or gold boxes for the guests to take home with them as a momento of the wedding. In some cultures it is common for several relatives to go together to provide this cake as a wedding gift, baking and wrapping it in advance. Instead of using boxes, the cake may be wrapped in shiny white paper and tied with ribbons. A groom's cake may also be cut and served during the
 
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reception, a tasty choice for those who prefer chocolate or fruitcake over the traditional white bride's cake.
When is the wedding cake usually cut?
The cutting of the bride's cake should be a ceremony in itself, with lights, music, and great fanfare. If a sit-down meal is served, the cake is usually cut right after the meal so it can be served as dessert. However, if the menu is lighter, such as a brunch, luncheon, or finger food buffet, the cake-cutting ceremony is usually the last ''hurrah" before the bride tosses the bouquet, the groom tosses the garter, and they leave the reception. (Often, however, the bride and groom do stay awhile following these events.)
What is a "Fairmont cake presentation"?
This is an especially dramatic presentation where the cake is kept hidden until the very last minute. Finally, the lights are lowered and the music fades and everyone quiets in anticipation of the presentation. Then, as the cake is wheeled out into the middle of the room, it is spotlighted as the music plays "Here Comes the Bride." At this point, everyone gathers around the cake and proceeds to "ooh" and "aah" as the bride and groom cut the cake.
What is a "ribbon pull"?
Before the bride and groom cut the cake, the bridesmaids gather around the wedding cake and each pulls a ribbon (attached to a silver or gold charm) from between the frosted layers. Usually, each charm is different, from a heart to a horseshoe to a four-leaf clover, but the bridesmaid who pulls out the ring charm is considered the luckiest of all because it is said she will be the next to marry.
 
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My aunt insists we open our wedding gifts during the reception. She says it's not fair to the guests if we don't. I've never seen gifts opened at any reception I've attended. Why is that?
Because, although your aunt may not understand the reasoning, it is actually
unfair
to the guests to take their time opening your gifts. The gifts should be assembled in a safe place to be opened after your honeymoon; meanwhile, enjoy the reception and be sure to visit with the guests.
What about having a gift display at the reception? This sounds like a lot of trouble to me
.
First of all, this is usually only done at a home wedding, never in a hotel or club, so it shouldn't be that much trouble. It is just a matter of designating a room or corner where gifts that have been previously opened may be displayed, with or without their cards. The guests enjoy seeing the gifts and it might even be fun for you and your groom to look them over during the festivities. By the way, any checks should be displayed in such a way that they overlap, showing the name at the bottom of the check, but not the amount. Cover the top check with an attractive paper weight that will do double-duty, covering the amount on the top check as well as holding all the checks in place so they don't scoot around on the table.
We don't normally drink champagne, but we do plan to serve it at our reception. What kind of champagne is best, and how many bottles do we need for 200 guests?
Champagne varies as to dryness: "Brut" is very dry (usually served with a meal); "Extra Dry" is not as dry as "Brut" (usually served with desserts or after meals); and "Dry'' or "sec" is the least dry and the most popular for sipping. The latter is probably the most popular champagne served at wedding receptions because everyone seems to like
 
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it. As far as quantity is concerned, it depends on whether it will be served only for the toast, which would require one glass per adult guest, or for sipping throughout the reception, which would require two glasses per person. A bottle of champagne has about 25 ounces that will fill six generous glasses or eight small glasses. At one small glass per guest, you would need 200 servings or 25 bottles. By the way, to cut down on costs you may want to serve a less expensive sparkling wine instead, such as a sparkling spumante, rose, chablis, or cold duck. Another way to economize is to serve a champagne punch instead where one bottle can stretch to serve about 13 guests.
You mention serving champagne for the toast; who makes the first toast to the bride and groom?
The best man always makes the first toast, using a microphone if necessary, followed by the two fathers, the groom to his bride, the bride to her groom (if she feels comfortable doing so) and then, finally, toasts may be made by other members of the bridal party, as well as any of the guests who may wish to do so.
What does someone usually say when he toasts the bride and groom?
The ideal toast is short and sweet; here is a typical toast to the couple: "To Bill and Janie and a lifetime of good health, happiness, and prosperity." See my book
Complete Book of Wedding Toasts
for more creative, personalized wordings.
What is the difference between "French service" and "plate service"?
A big one!
French service
is more formal: When the guests are seated at their tables they will find that their plates already contain fruit cups and other appetizers; then

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