Diamonds in the Dust (12 page)

Dora went straight to the kitchen and laid the table, listening to Lily’s excited chatter and Tom’s deeper tones. It seemed as if his voice was beginning to break already. He was certainly growing up fast, and he was such a tremendous support. Dora didn’t know what she would do without him. Their lives had been thrown into confusion, but Tom was proving to be steady and dependable.

‘Food’s on the table,’ she announced, walking into the front room. ‘Don’t let it get cold. Now, we must get back to ours or it will be baked to a crisp in the oven. Don’t worry about the plates, Stan. I’ll collect them in the morning.’

Dora ushered her reluctant brother and sister out and said over her shoulder, ‘If either of you need anything, you know where we are.’

‘Shall I collect the plates from Stan?’ Tom asked.

‘No, that’s all right. I’ll do it or you’ll be late for school.’ Dora chewed her lip anxiously as she looked at Lily’s unhappy face. ‘What is it, sweetie?’

Lily shook her head, refusing to speak. They hadn’t had a word out of her since she’d woken up.

‘Talk to us, sweetie.’ Dora stooped down beside Lily’s chair. ‘We can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong, can we?’

Tom leant against the sink, arms folded and a deep frown on his young face. ‘Talk to Dora,’ he said gruffly.

‘I dreamt of Mum last night.’ Her eyes were swimming with tears. ‘She was laughing and happy – so were we. I want it to be like that again.’

‘We all do.’ As Dora said those words it felt as if
something snapped inside her. She could try to pretend all she liked that this wasn’t happening – but it was! Their mother was missing, probably dead, but until they knew for certain, their lives were in confusion. They tried to deal with each day as best they could, but it was hard to make decisions. They didn’t know which way to turn. And she worried so about her brother and sister …

The carefully erected dam burst. Gathering Lily into her arms, she gave way and the tears came in torrents, heartbroken sobs racking her body. She collapsed on the floor.

Tom was horrified and very frightened. This couldn’t be happening! Their big sister was strong, someone they could rely on. But it was too much for her. They had put too much on her.

Feeling completely helpless, Tom did the only thing he could think of. He ran to Stan’s, banging on the front door frantically.

When it was wrenched open, he literally fell into the hall, nearly knocking Stan off his feet. ‘Please help!’ he gasped. ‘It’s Dora – please help!’

Without a word, Stan grabbed his stick and shoved Tom out the door, hurrying as fast as he could. They heard Lily screaming before they reached the house.

Stan
ran
.

Tom had never moved so fast in his life. He burst into the kitchen and swept Lily off the floor, where she had been leaning over Dora and hitting her to try and make her wake up. Her screams were deafening. ‘Stop that!’ he demanded.

Stan was there then, and examining the unconscious girl. He pulled her up, sat her on a chair and pushed her head onto her knees. When she groaned, he sat her upright again. ‘Tom, get me a glass of water.’

There was no way Tom could put Lily down because she was holding on with all her might, absolutely terrified. He managed to get the water using only one hand and gave it to Stan.

Dora had her eyes open now, but they were unfocused, unaware of what was going on around her.

Lily began fighting Tom, trying to get to her sister, screaming again, ‘Dora!’ over and over.

‘Stop it!’ Tom shouted at his little sister. It was something they had never done, and the shock silenced Lily. He kissed her cheek by way of saying sorry and said softly, ‘Stan’s looking after her. He knows what to do.’

‘Drink this.’ Stan held the glass to Dora’s lips. When she took a sip, he urged, ‘Again.’

She obeyed by taking two large gulps, then Stan put the glass on the table and began to rub some life back into her hands. ‘Come on, Dora, take deep breaths. Come back to us.’

‘Do we need a doctor?’ Tom could feel his heart crashing against his ribs. Nothing must happen to Dora! They loved her. She was holding them together. They’d never manage without her. They’d be put in a home! ‘Stan, do we need to get a doctor?’

‘No, Tom.’ It was Dora who spoke. ‘I’m sorry. Just give me a minute or two. I’ll be all right soon.’

‘On your feet.’ Stan pulled her out of the chair and led
her to the front room. Then he eased her onto the settee, sat beside her and supported her in his arms.

She rested her head on his shoulder. ‘I’m so tired of pretending I’m all right.’

‘I know.’ Stan stroked her hair away from her eyes. ‘It gets too much at times, doesn’t it?’

She nodded. ‘And you know all about that, don’t you?’

‘Only too well.’

Suddenly Dora tried to sit up, alarmed. ‘Lily, is she all right?’

‘Shush, she’s with Tom. I think they’re making a pot of tea.’ Stan made her relax again. ‘Stop worrying about other people for a moment. Think of yourself for a change. I suspect that’s something you seldom do, and that’s why this has been building up. You can’t protect Tom and Lily from this. They’ve got to face up to it in their own way. You can’t do it for them, Dora, as much as I know you want to.’

Tom came in with a tray of tea, Lily beside him, drained of all colour. As soon as she saw Dora, she ran and climbed on the settee wrapping her arms around her. Tom knelt in front and grasped one of his big sister’s hands. ‘Hell, Dora, you frightened us.’

They remained like that, giving Dora time to recover. After a couple of minutes, she said, ‘I could do with that tea now, Tom.’

‘Of course.’ He scrambled to his feet.

Dora sat up straight and bowed her head. ‘I’m so ashamed. I’m sorry.’

‘You haven’t got anything to be sorry about.’ Tom gave her a cup of tea. ‘You’re struggling to see we live like
we used to. That isn’t right. We’ve been selfish by telling you we want to stay in this house when we know it isn’t going to be possible. We can’t go on leaving it all to Dora, Lily. She’s trying to support the three of us and the strain’s too much. We’ve got to help more.’

Lily nodded, looking thoroughly confused.

‘I’ll get a job after school.’ Tom finished pouring tea for the rest of them. ‘And we’ll move to a cheaper place if we have to. All right, Lily?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered, too upset to protest.

‘I don’t want you working, Tom.’ Dora had recovered enough to make decisions, but she still held tightly to Stan’s hand, grateful for his calm support.

‘Maybe so, but we don’t have a choice.’ Tom lifted his head in determination. ‘We’re getting through our money at a fast rate. I’m not daft, I know what a mess we’re in.’

Dora nodded miserably. What Tom said was correct. ‘I’ll start looking for a permanent job immediately.’

‘No, you won’t!’ Tom had had enough of this. It was time someone thought about Dora. She’d worked as a housemaid because their mum hadn’t let her do the thing she wanted to. Then in the evenings she had looked after him and Lily, never complaining. What kind of a life had she had? ‘I saw how happy you were when you told us about the doctor, and I know you really want to work at that house. So you stay!’

‘We’ll see how it goes, Tom.’

Lily had snuggled close to her sister and was gazing up at her. ‘Are you all right now, Dora?’

She bent her head and kissed Lily’s cheek. ‘Much better now, Lily. I’m sorry I frightened you.’

‘Stan took care of you. I was glad Tom fetched him.’

‘Yes, that was kind of him.’ Dora turned to Stan who had remained with his arm supporting her. ‘Thank you very much. I’m sorry we’ve been such a nuisance to you, but we’re grateful for your help.’

‘Don’t keep apologising.’ Stan removed his arm and moved away from her slightly. ‘I’m here if you need me for anything.’

‘Thanks, Stan.’ Tom was relaxing now he could see his big sister was all right again. That had scared him, and made him realise that he must shoulder more responsibility from now on. After all, he would be thirteen in two months’ time, and a lot of boys were out working by then. Their mother had always insisted that schooling was the most important thing. But she damned well wasn’t here now!

Lily scrambled off the settee, went to Stan and pulled his hand until he leant forward. Then she planted a smacking kiss on his cheek. ‘Thank you for helping Dora. We’ll look after her better, won’t we, Tom?’

‘We will. Now, do you feel well enough to go to school, or do you want to stay at home with Dora?’

‘I’m not staying home,’ Dora protested. The colour was coming back to her face. ‘You must both go to school.’

When Dora began to stand up, Stan stopped her. ‘You ought to stay at home today and rest.’

‘No, I need to be busy, and I’m fine now, really.’

‘All right, but promise me you’ll come home if you feel ill again.’

‘I promise, but it won’t happen again. It was just a moment of weakness.’

When Stan nodded and stood up, Tom was there with the stick Stan had dropped in the kitchen, and walked with him to the front door.

‘Find her, Stan.’ Tom was furious. ‘Find our mother, and if it turns out that she’s abandoned us, I’ll kill her, I swear!’

Stan rested his hand on the boy’s shoulder, the youngster now seeming so grown up. ‘I understand. But after what I’ve seen this morning, I’ll bloody well do the job for you!’

It took Stan at least an hour before he could even consider going to see Reg at the station. He was physically weakened by his efforts to get Dora off the floor. Seeing her like that had shaken him, which was surprising when he recalled the terrible things he had witnessed in the war.

But this was different. He was in love with Dora!

Resting his head in his hands he swore with ferocity. Didn’t he have enough problems without adding a hopeless cause to the list? Of all the stupid things to do …

‘Stan!’ Winnie had arrived. ‘I’ve never heard you use such language. Are you all right?’

‘No, I’m not,’ he growled. He told her what had happened.

‘And you say she’s gone to work? She shouldn’t have done that. Why didn’t you stop her?’

‘I can’t give her orders. But those three are suffering and I feel so damned helpless. I’ve got to do something!’ Stan’s first two attempts to stand up failed. ‘Get the crutches for me, Win.’

With those, and his sister’s help, he eventually got to his feet. ‘Do one more thing for me. Get my bike out of the shed, please.’

Winnie studied him with concern. ‘You don’t look in a fit state to even go out, let alone ride a bike! But there’s no point me asking you to stay here, is there?’

‘None at all.’ Stan dredged up a grim smile. ‘I’ll be all right once I get moving.’

It was then Winnie spotted the nearly empty bottle on the floor by the fireplace. ‘Have you got a hangover? Is that what’s wrong with you?’

‘Stop worrying, I didn’t drink all that on my own.’ He told her about Alan.

She smiled. ‘Oh that’s wonderful, Stan. You must have been so pleased to see each other.’

‘It was good. We did our best to drink the bottle dry, and we didn’t stop talking for three hours. Dora made sure we had some food.’

‘Sensible girl.’

‘Alan was still sober enough to make it home. At least, that’s what he said.’

‘You should have asked him to stay.’

‘I did, but he refused.’ Stan took a couple of tentative steps, grunted with satisfaction and changed the crutches for the stick. ‘You going to get my bike for me, Win?’

She pulled a face. ‘Men! No sense at all.’

The station was quiet when Stan arrived, but Reg had just returned from pounding his beat.

‘Stan, you look awful. What have you been up to?’

‘Working my way through a bottle of whisky with a bloke I thought was dead. But I’ll tell you about that later. Is there any glimmer of hope in the search for Mrs Bentley?’

‘Not a damned thing!’

Stan ran a hand over his eyes, weary beyond belief. ‘Dora collapsed this morning.’

‘Oh Lord, I’m sorry. Is she all right now?’

‘Says she is, and she’s gone to work.’ Stan let out a ragged sigh. ‘Why can’t we find this blasted woman, Reg? Do you think she’s in the Thames?’

‘It’s possible, but I’m beginning to doubt she’s dead.’ Reg perched on the edge of the desk, his expression thoughtful. ‘I think she’s done a runner. Do you think Dora and Tom would mind if we went public with this?’

‘The newspapers?’ When Reg nodded, Stan said, ‘I don’t think they’d mind what we do any more. They’re really suffering, but let me clear it with Dora first. I’ll go and see her right away.’

Feeling stronger now, but ashamed of herself for falling to pieces like that, Dora walked into the Wandsworth house. The bright front door seemed to welcome her, and when Dobbs waved cheerily, she felt better. Things were all right. Not normal – they couldn’t be – but it was as if a pressure inside her had been released. It had obviously been building, and Lily’s unhappiness had brought it to the surface. The little girl was understandably confused. They worried and protected their sister. She had been a delicate baby, often sick, and they spoilt her. That had been easy to do because she was a bright child, and so easy to love. But they couldn’t protect her from every heartbreak in life, as much as they wanted to.

Dora made her way to the large room at the back of the house. It had been turned into a place where the young
men could meet. There was a dartboard, table tennis, easy chairs, and tables where they could play cards. Any ex-serviceman was welcome, and she had discovered that many came to pass the time. The injured couldn’t find jobs, and they gave up in discouragement after a while. At least they were welcome here.

She opened the door and smiled brightly. ‘Good morning. Who would like tea?’

Six men were already there. They nodded, returning her smile.

‘Coming right up.’

‘Hey, Dora,’ Pete called, as she turned to leave the room. ‘Any chance of sandwiches?’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’ She hurried to the kitchen, glad to be busy. She had never fainted before in her life, and it wasn’t something she would want to repeat. Everyone had been frightened – including herself.

Dobbs followed her to the kitchen carrying a bag. ‘Here lass, you’ll need this. I expect those boys are hungry as usual.’

The bag contained bread, milk, cheese, butter, tomatoes and even slices of ham. ‘Wow!’ Dora exclaimed. ‘Where did you get all this?’

‘Donations.’ He smirked. ‘I can’t hear when people say no.’

She laughed. ‘They give up trying to refuse and just hand the things over, do they?’

‘Eh?’ Dobbs’ expression remained serious, but there was amusement in his pale grey eyes. ‘I’ll have a couple of cheese sandwiches when you’ve made them. Keep a
bit of ham for the doc. He said he’s going to pop in this morning.’

‘I’ll do that.’

‘Right, now I’ll be in with the boys. I’m gonna thrash them at ping pong!’

Dora soon had two large plates piled high with sandwiches, and had turned to put the kettle on to boil for the tea when she saw the doctor standing in the doorway, studying her intently.

‘Oh, hello, sir, I didn’t hear you come in.’ He walked towards her, placed one hand on her forehead, and with the other held her wrist. ‘How do you feel?’

‘All right.’

‘Liar. You look drained. What’s happened, Dora?’

There was an air of quiet authority about him, and much to her shame, her eyes filled with tears. ‘I fainted this morning.’

He led her to a chair and made her sit down. ‘Tell me about it. I’m a good listener.’

Dora began hesitantly at first, but it was such a relief to talk freely. The story tumbled out, and when she had finished she looked at him, anguish in her eyes. ‘It’s terrible,’ she admitted.

‘I’m so sorry, my dear. I suppose the burden of keeping your little family together has fallen on your shoulders.’

‘Like a ton of bricks.’ She grimaced. ‘That isn’t strictly true. My brother Tom is supporting me all the way, and we’ve got the help of our neighbour, Stan Crawford, and his family. They’re very good to us.’

‘Hmm.’ Dr Burridge gazed into space as he held her
wrist. Then he patted her hand. ‘You tell me if you feel faint again.’

She nodded and watched him walk away, intent on the day’s work. He was such a kind man, she thought, and easy to talk to. She went back to preparing the tea and sandwiches.

With everything loaded on trays, Dora picked up the first one.

‘Here, let me help you with those.’

Recognising Alan’s voice, Dora turned to say that she could manage. The words died as she saw him. ‘Oh, you’ve got your leg!’

‘And a hand.’ He held it up for her to see.

‘That’s wonderful! Please, show me how you can walk.’

He walked across the room and back again. Dora couldn’t stop smiling. ‘I’m so happy for you. You walk well!’

‘Not bad, huh?’ He grinned and bowed. ‘Would you dance with me, miss?’

‘I’d love to, sir.’ Dora joined in his pleasure and curtsied gracefully. They waltzed around the kitchen, Alan singing softly.

The burst of applause from the doorway stopped them. Dobbs was actually smiling. ‘Well done, sir.’

‘Thank you, Dobbs. I had them fitted this morning at Roehampton. The first leg they gave me was terrible, but this one feels fine.’

‘You must come and show the doc.’ Dobbs picked up the heavy teapot. ‘Let’s get this lot to the boys and we can have a celebration. Always good to see another
young man back on his feet – so to speak.’

Dora and Alan picked up a tray each and followed Dobbs in procession along the passage.

‘Look at the captain, Doc!’ Dobbs was shouting as soon as they entered the room. ‘He can even dance. Bloody wonderful I call that!’

The doctor came straight over to Alan. ‘Ah, good, you’ve got them at last. Let me see what you can do.’

Alan obliged, receiving smiles of approval from the other men in the room.

‘Good, good.’ Dr Burridge took a close look at the limbs. ‘Well done, Alan. Now, don’t overdo it for a few days, but you should be all right now.’

‘Thanks for all your help, Doc. I don’t know what we’d do without you.’

The doctor waved away the compliment. ‘All I do is give you advice, encouragement and a place to meet.’

‘That’s just what we need,’ Charlie told him. ‘Some of us would have given up without your support. When I came out of Queen Mary’s, Roehampton, I felt as if my life was over. Then I found this place. It’s the best thing that could have happened to me.’

John was nodding. ‘Knowing we can come here and meet others makes it worth getting up in the morning.’

There were murmurs of agreement.

‘Tea’s poured out,’ Dobbs announced, and they all crowded round for the refreshments, talking and smiling. Seeing Alan’s success had given them all the hope that they would soon be able to do the same. Many had more severe injuries and wouldn’t be able to walk as well as
Alan, but the proof that it was possible was lifting their spirits.

The food was demolished amid lively talk. Collecting the empty trays, Dora left them to it and returned to the kitchen. The doctor would call her when he needed help with something, but there was plenty here to keep her busy. She couldn’t get over how fine Alan had looked, so tall and straight. He was obviously a good dancer, as well.

Dora was giving the kitchen sink a good clean when Dobbs looked in. ‘Bloke’s just arrived. Said he’s got to see you. Never been here before, but he’s another poor sod who can hardly walk.’

Dora dried her hands, hoping the man hadn’t heard Dobbs’ comments. Being hard of hearing he was included to speak rather loudly. When she looked up she was astonished to see the figure who stood in the doorway. ‘Stan!’

‘You know him?’ When she nodded, Dobbs went back to whatever he had been doing.

‘Have you come to see Alan? He’s got his new leg, and he walks ever so well. Come and meet everyone. They’re all in the other room …’

Stan held up his hand to stop her. ‘I’ve really come to see you. I need your permission for something.’

Now she was curious. ‘What’s that?’

‘It’s an idea Reg has.’ Stan sat on a chair by the table. ‘We’re getting nowhere with the search, and he’s suggested that we put an appeal in the newspapers. Someone somewhere must know something. But we won’t do it if you object.’

Dora sat beside him, considered the idea for only a few moments, took a deep breath and said, ‘Go ahead. We need an end to this – whatever that end might be. If there’s the smallest chance it will help, then do it. I know Tom will agree.’

Stan nodded, looking at her with respect, knowing it hadn’t been an easy decision to make. ‘You understand this might mean unwelcome publicity and you could be pestered by reporters?’

She nodded, not liking the idea, but they had to do something. The longer this went on, the more strain it was putting on all of them. ‘It’s got to be done, hasn’t it? If it finds Mum, then it’ll be worth it.’

‘We want to hit the evening papers if we can.’

‘I understand. I’ll tell Tom and Lily this evening.’ With that settled, she stood up. ‘Now, while you’re here you must meet everyone.’

‘I can’t stop.’ Stan gripped the table to help him stand. ‘I’ve got to get back and let Reg know he can go ahead.’

‘There’s a telephone at the police station, isn’t there?’ Dora wanted to keep Stan here if she could. For one thing the journey had exhausted him, and as hard as he tried to hide it, the strain showed. And it would be a good chance for him to meet the doctor again. ‘Come on, there’s a phone in the office.’

She swept out, leaving him no choice but to follow. She waited while he spoke to Reg, then said, ‘You must meet everyone while you’re here. And if you’re lucky there might be a couple of sandwiches left.’

Without a word of protest, Stan walked beside her.
Seeing he was in considerable difficulty, she placed a hand through his arm. ‘You ought to be using your crutches.’

‘I know, but I went to the station on my bike. I didn’t know I was coming here as well.’

She stopped suddenly. ‘You didn’t ride your bike here, surely?’

‘No, came on the train. Reg will take my bike home for me if I don’t go back to the station today.’

‘Here we are.’ As soon as she opened the door, Alan saw Stan and walked over.

‘Stan! How’s the hangover?’

‘I’ve had worse.’ He looked the captain up and down. ‘You’re walking well on that thing.’

‘I’ll be even better when I get used to it.’

‘Crawford, isn’t it?’ Dr Burridge was beside them and holding out his hand. ‘We met on the train.’

Stan shook hands with him. ‘Did you get that poor devil to the hospital all right?’

‘Yes, and he’s being taken care of now.’ The doctor studied Stan’s face. ‘You’re not any better, are you? I hope this visit means you’ll let me examine you?’

‘I’m not coming to hospital.’ Stan was adamant.

‘I have an examination room set up here. I’ll tell you exactly how things are. No lies, no pressure.’

Dora was longing to plead with Stan to allow this, but knew it wasn’t her place to interfere.

‘Go on, Stan,’ Alan urged. ‘Won’t take long, and the doc’s good. Not remotely like the treatment we received on the front line.’

Dora decided it would be best if she left the men to it,
so she went over to talk to John. Although he was still finding it difficult to walk, she could see an improvement on yesterday, and told him so.

‘Thanks. Doc says I’ve just got to persevere.’

She had been talking to John for a few minutes when Alan joined them. Casting a quick glance back she couldn’t see Stan or Dr Burridge.

Alan noticed her anxious glance. ‘Stan’s agreed to let the doc have a look at him. But don’t raise your hopes too much. He’s been told there’s nothing they can do for him, and the doc might agree.’

Dora nodded. ‘I know, but it would help if he could be made more comfortable.’

‘You really care for him, don’t you?’

‘I care about everyone who’s still suffering because of that terrible war. This house is a little oasis in the middle of indifference. But don’t start me on that subject, Alan, or I’ll rant on for hours!’ Dora picked up two cups from under a chair. ‘I must get back to work, but I’ll see you later.’

Dobbs had collected most of the crockery, but hadn’t attempted to wash up, so Dora set about the task. She hoped Stan would come and see her before he left.

It was nearly an hour before anyone came into the kitchen, and she had started to wash down the walls, with the idea of giving the kitchen a fresh coat of paint. She might even be able to persuade some of the more able-bodied men to help. Dora had seen enough to know that some of them felt useless, but that wasn’t true, there would be some jobs they could do.

‘Leave that, Dora.’ Dr Burridge looked in. ‘I could use your help in my office. What’s your handwriting like?’

‘Very neat, so I’m told.’

‘Excellent. Come with me.’

‘Where’s Stan?’ she asked as soon as they were in his office.

‘Having a game of cards with Alan and some of the others.’

‘Oh, that’s good. He’ll enjoy that.’ Dora hesitated. She had no right to ask, but just couldn’t stop herself. ‘He let you examine him then?’

‘Hmm.’ The doctor handed her a pile of letters. ‘I’ve scribbled my decisions at the bottom of these. Answer them for me. And I can’t discuss my patients, Dora.’

‘No, of course not.’ She looked him straight in the eyes. ‘Is Stan your patient, then?’

‘You’ll have to ask him that.’ He added another letter to the pile. ‘I’d like to post those this evening, that’s if you think you can get them ready by then?’

‘They’ll be finished and waiting for you.’ Knowing she wasn’t going to get anything out of him, she set to work. The doctor’s notes at the bottom of each letter were brief, leaving her to compose a proper reply in her own words. She had always been good at this kind of thing, and found it very enjoyable.

Dr Burridge disappeared for the next hour, obviously pleased to leave this task with her. By the time he returned, she had the replies in a neat pile awaiting his approval and signature.

He read each one, signing as he went along. Dora was
expecting him to pass some back to her to be redone, but he never did.

‘We’ll post these on the way home.’ He looked thoughtful and shuffled through the letters again.

Dora held her breath. When he said nothing, she asked, ‘Are they all right?’

‘They’re excellent. Where did you learn to write like this?’

‘Mum used to give us lessons at weekends. Her writing was beautiful.’ Mentioning her mother made the pain return – not that it was ever far away.

‘Stan told me they’re doing everything they can to find out what’s happened, my dear,’ he said, gently.