Diamond Girls (9 page)

Jude unwisely said something very rude and insulting back. Then she spat in the Hoodie's face. He clenched his fists. I screamed and started running, but someone pushed me out the way. This person elbowed his way through the boys. The biggest Hoodie lunged at him but he blocked the punch with an arm that seemed made of wood. Then he used this bionic arm to strike sideways at his ribs. The Hoodie fell to his knees, gasping.

‘Now clear off!' he shouted. ‘Leave these girls alone!'

They went running for it.

I stared at this amazing Superman. It was
Bruce
!

‘Wow, Uncle Bruce, you were simply
brilliant
! That was just like a cartoon fight,
wham-bam-bash
! And it
was
you doing all the bashing! You saved Jude from getting beaten up.'

‘I didn't need saving,' said Jude sourly, sucking her fist. Her knuckles were bright red from punching the Big Fat Guy.

‘Let's see that hand,' said Bruce.

‘It's fine,' said Jude. ‘Just keep your nose out of things, right?'

‘
You
keep your bogging nose out of things, you stupid interfering pig!' Rochelle yelled. ‘How
dare
you come charging up acting like a total idiot! You can't tell me who I can talk to!'

‘He obviously wants to do a lot more than talk, idiot. He's way too old for you. And he looks a complete plonker too. What does he think he is, an extra in
Pirates of the Caribbean
?'

‘I think he's really cool,' said Rochelle. ‘And I think he liked me, until
you
mucked it up telling him how old I am.'

‘Yeah,
twelve
– but you've got the brains of a six-year-old,' said Jude, poking Rochelle.

‘Don't you dare start hitting me!' said Rochelle, pushing Jude.

‘Someone needs to slap some sense into you! Can't you see what those boys are
like
?'

‘You're just jealous because they were chatting to me, not you,' said Rochelle. ‘You can't stick it if someone fancies me, Jude Diamond.'

‘Oh for God's sake, stop being so
idiotic
!' said Jude, shoving her in exasperation.

Rochelle was wearing her best red suede high heels. She found it hard to balance on them at the best of times.
She
tottered backwards and ended up on her bottom with her legs in the air.

Pirate Boy was still lurking at the end of Mercury Street. He was looking back over his shoulder. Rochelle went as red as her shoes. She swore furiously, staggered upright and flew at Jude, trying to scratch her face with her long fingernails.

‘Hey, hey, cut it out, girls!' Bruce cried.

They both told him to mind his own bogging business and carried on fighting. Jude could normally floor Rochelle in seconds but now Rochelle was so angry she was almost a match for her. I screamed, begging them to stop. Martine pocketed her phone and tried to wade between them. Jude accidentally punched her on the shoulder. Martine whipped off her shoe and started trying to whack them both about the head.

‘Stop it! Please stop it, you crazy girls!' Bruce shouted hoarsely.

‘This will put a stop to it,' Mum gasped, waddling up to us with a brimming bucket.

Suddenly we were all drenched in soapy water, screaming, sobbing, soaking wet.

‘My cardie's all wet! And Bluebell!' I wailed.

‘How
dare
you, Mum!' Martine said furiously.

‘If you're all going to act like little wildcats you'll get treated like them,' Mum retorted.

‘
I
wasn't fighting, I was trying to stop them. Look, my mobile's soaked! I'll kill you if you've ruined it!'

‘My best suede shoes! They're sodden! You've spoiled them. You've all utterly humiliated me. I hate you all!' Rochelle screamed.

‘Shut up, you stupid little show-off, you're the one that
started
all this,' said Jude. Her wet hair stuck flat to her head so she looked like a seal. She felt her face and looked at the smear of blood on her fingers. ‘You've clawed me, you little cat!'

She gave Rochelle another push. Rochelle retaliated by trying to scratch her again.

‘Mum, Mum, stop them!' I shrieked, shaking my wet hair out of my eyes.

Mum didn't seem to be listening to any of us. She let the empty bucket fall to the ground with a clank. She put her hands on her stomach. Her face screwed up.

‘Oh no!' said Bruce. ‘Are you all right?'

‘No I'm not bloody all right,' Mum muttered. She made little whimpering noises, her eyes screwed up.

‘Oh Gawd, it's not the baby, is it?' Bruce asked.

Mum nodded, bending right over. Water trickled down her legs, as if she'd wet herself.

Bruce took two steps backwards, greasy-white with shock. Martine stopped wiping her mobile and stared at Mum. Jude started biting her thumb, one cheek still bleeding. Rochelle stopped shrieking and stood still, patting her damp hair into place.

‘It's not due yet, Mum,' said Martine.

‘Can't help that,' Mum said, breathing out weirdly, blowing
whoo-whoo-whoo
.

‘Stop it, Mum, you can't be actually having it!' said Rochelle. ‘It must be indigestion or something.'

‘Indigestion, my bottom,' Mum gasped, though she used another ruder word. ‘My waters have broken. I'm having the baby now!'

‘Oh God, oh God, what are we going to do?' Rochelle
said
, staggering around on her silly suede heels. ‘How can you have a baby
here
?'

‘We'll need the bedding out of the van. And we've got the kettle. We need lots of hot water,' said Bruce.

‘What for?' said Jude.

‘I don't know. That's what they always do in movies – get clean linen and hot water,' said Bruce.

‘I'm not in some stupid old cowboy film, you berk. I'm having my son in hospital. I'm not booked in anywhere yet but they can hardly turn me away when I'm about to give birth any minute,' said Mum. She straightened up, breathing more slowly. ‘God! I'd forgotten what it's like. Right, I'd better dig out a nightie and my washing stuff. And make-up. And the little blue sleeping suit, the one with the tiny teddies, for his little lordship. And the big blue shawl. Go on, jump to it, girls, I haven't got much time, judging by the strength of these contractions.'

Bruce was shifting from one leg to the other, still horrified. ‘You're going to hospital, you said?'

‘Yes, of course I am. You'll drive me there, won't you? Because I'm not up to tottering off down the bus stop, matey.'

‘Yes, of course I'll take you. But then I'll
have
to get cracking. You'll have to find someone else to look after the girls. I'm no use. They don't do a thing I say.'

‘
I
do what you say, Uncle Bruce,' I said.

‘One out of four isn't that promising, Dixie,' said Bruce, but he smiled at me. ‘Anyway, let's get the rest of the furniture out the back of the van, girls, so your mum can stretch out properly. Or should we leave one of the beds so she can lie on that?'

‘Not
my
bed! I don't want it getting all icky with blood and baby stuff,' said Rochelle.

My three sisters went to sort out the back of the van with Bruce. I let out my own breath like I was having a baby myself.

‘It's OK, Mum,' I whispered. ‘I think he might be staying. You can stop pretending now.'

‘Mm?' said Mum, clutching her stomach again. ‘Oh Gawd, here it comes already. Tell them to get a move on, Dixie. My boy's going to pop out here on the pavement at this rate.'

‘You mean you're really having the baby now?' I said, my heart starting to thump.

‘Oh lord, Dixie, don't be so daft. I'm not that great an actress,' said Mum, running her hands through her hair. I saw the beads of sweat on her forehead. She screwed up her eyes against the pain and started
whoo-whoo-whoo
ing again.

‘Mum?' I said, getting really scared.

She clutched me tight, struggling to keep upright. ‘Oh, Dixie. It hurts so. It's too quick. Everything's going wrong. It is going to be all right, isn't it? My boy's going to be all right?' She sounded just as scared as me.

I took a deep breath and put my arm round her. ‘Don't you worry, Mum, everything's going to be fine,' I said. ‘You know it is. It says so in the stars.'

7

‘
ALL RIGHT, ALL
right, the van's ready,' said Bruce, wiping his forehead and looking at Mum anxiously.

‘Any minute now!' said Mum.

Bruce gave a little moan.

‘Don't worry, I'll keep my legs crossed,' said Mum.

‘You'll have to have one of the girls with you just in case the baby starts coming when I'm driving,' said Bruce.

‘I was
joking
,' said Mum.

‘I'm not,' said Bruce.

‘I'll come, Mum,' I said, holding her hand.

‘Don't be so silly, sweetheart. They wouldn't let you in,' said Mum.

‘I'll come,' said Jude, but she looked a bit queasy.

‘You wouldn't even know which end it came out of,' said Mum, laughing, even though she was doubled up in pain. ‘I know babies aren't your thing, Jude, don't worry.'

‘They're not my thing either!' Rochelle said hastily.

‘No, no, you three must stay at home.' Mum looked at Martine, pleadingly.

‘
OK
,' said Martine, sighing. She took Mum's arm and helped her into the van.

‘Now, darlings, you behave yourselves, right? You'll be OK, won't you? Jude, here's two tenners, you nip out to the nearest chippy for your tea. Then I want you to lock yourselves in until Martine gets back. No more chatting up the local lads, Rochelle. No fighting, Jude. No treks over the garden wall, Dixie chick. And no more quarrelling, do you hear me? Rochelle, I'm talking to you!'

‘She hit me. Mum!'

‘Yeah, and who did this? said Jude, tapping her cheek. But then she nodded. ‘I promise we won't fight, Mum.'

Rochelle pulled a face, but muttered ‘Promise' too.

‘You promise you'll be all right, Mum?' I said, trying not to cry.

I couldn't stand seeing her with her face all crumpled up with pain. I'd never been in a hospital but I'd seen
Casualty
and
ER
. I imagined Mum on a trolley, her vast belly under one of those flimsy white gowns like a giant bib, while scary masked people cut her open.

‘Will they cut you, Mum?' I asked.

‘No, no, not if I can help it! I still want to wear a bikini when I get my figure back. Don't look so worried, Dixie, I'll be fine. I promise. I'll probably be back here this time tomorrow with your little brother all tucked up in my arms, OK?'

‘So who's going to look after the girls while you're in hospital?' said Bruce.

Mum looked at him as if he was simple. ‘You are, Bruce, babe.'

‘Oh no. No, look, I made it clear right from the start. I've got to get back. I should have been back at the shop hours and hours ago. I can't hang around babysitting your girls.'

‘We're not babies,' said Jude. ‘You push off. We don't need you.'

‘Yes, they do need you,' said Mum. She doubled up again. ‘I haven't got time to argue. You take me to the hospital, Bruce. I haven't got a clue where it
is
but you'll have to get me there sharpish, mate.'

She started her
whoo-whoo-whoo
ing, so loudly she sounded like a steam train. Rochelle sniggered. I dug my elbow in her and she punched me hard.

‘Cut it
out
,' Mum gasped, and then she lay back in the van. ‘Oh God, I think it's coming.'

‘Hang on,' Bruce said grimly, slamming the van door shut behind Martine and starting up the engine.

We could hear Mum moaning inside as the van hurtled away. Jude and Rochelle and I stood on the pavement, staring after her. An old lady in a headscarf and matted fleece and bedroom slippers came out of a house three doors away. She looked us up and down like we were monkeys at the zoo.

‘Did they kick you out your old place then?' she said.

‘No they didn't!' said Rochelle, flouncing.

‘Don't kid me. I've never seen the like. Fighting and brawling in the street the minute you get here! You girls acting like alley cats and your mum practically giving birth in the gutter!'

‘You mind your own business, you old bag,' said Jude.

‘I'm complaining about you to the council. This used to be a decent estate. When me and my late husband
moved
in we were proud to live here. Now look at this dump. And it's used as a dumping bin too, for all you problem families.'

‘We're not a problem family!' I said.

‘Come indoors, Dixie, Rochelle,' said Jude, grabbing us and pulling.