Authors: Jacqueline Wilson
âButâ'
âYou can't tell them, Dixie. They'll think I've gone nuts.'
â
I
think you've gone nuts.'
âMartine's upset enough as it is, going on about her blooming Tony. Jude's even stroppier than usual. Rochelle's acting extra flighty. They can't handle this the way you and I can. Just give me a few days, Dixie. Please. Don't tell on me.'
âAll right then, Mum. I won't tell.'
Mum burst into tears. âOh darling. Thank you. Thank you so much. You promise, now?'
I found Bruce's hankie and mopped Mum's eyes. âI promise,' I said. âBut it's just for a little bit. We'll have to tell
quite
soon. But you can pretend for now if it makes you happy.'
âYou're such a good girl to me, Dixie,' Mum said, eyes brimming again. She held Sundance up and made the baby's soft cheek brush mine.
âHe's giving you a kiss. He loves you so much already,' Mum whispered. âYou're his favourite big sister.'
12
MUM STAYED STUCK
on her mattress with Sundance, as if they were marooned on a desert island. Martine and Jude and Rochelle came visiting but she sent them away, saying she was tired and wanted to rest. She didn't notice Martine had been crying. She didn't notice Jude had a sore nose. She didn't even notice Rochelle was all dressed up in her best (damp) jeans and silver sparkly top.
I was the only one Mum wanted. She let me make her a cup of tea, she let me help her to the loo, she let me fetch Sundance's clean nappies. She even let me stay while she changed her, though she kept her back to me, bending over Sundance, blocking her blatant little-girl bottom from my view.
âI'll give him a little feed now,' said Mum. âYou go off and play for a bit, Dixie. You've been such a good girl.'
I felt too grown up and important to
play
. It was so lovely to feel I was the chosen one, Mum's favourite. Sundance liked me too. I was good with babies. Maybe
I'd
be a nursery nurse when I was grown up. No, I'd have my
own
nursery, and all the babies would have little white rocking cots with red and green and yellow and purple blankets so no one would know whether they were boys or girls. They'd have mobiles hanging above each cot, little birds flying round and round, and the babies would reach up with their little fat fists to try to catch them.
I'd feed them and change them and they'd all have a bath together in a special big shallow baby bath and then I'd cuddle them all in a huge white towel and tickle their tummies and play piggies with their tiny toes. I'd be Nurse Dixie and every single baby would love me and stop crying the minute I picked them up.
I thought about Mary. I wanted to stop her crying too. She didn't know how to play properly and have fun. She seemed worried about spoiling that scary baby doll. I thought about my old Barbies. They'd nearly all torn their clothes and they had skinhead haircuts and permanent gel pen tattoos. Maybe Mary could have a good game with them. It wouldn't matter in the slightest if they got spoilt.
I rummaged in my box and seized a handful of them. Rochelle was in the kitchen, trying to brush her red suede shoes.
âGot fed up playing real babies?' she said. âNow we're back to normal and little braindead Dixie's playing dollies.'
â
I'm
not going to be playing with them,' I said haughtily. âI thought my friend Mary might like them. I'm going to show
her
how to play.'
âWho do you think you are, Mary blooming Poppins?'
said
Rochelle. âAnd actually, they're not
your
Barbies, they're mine, and you haven't half ruined them! What's happened to their
hair
? Have you cut it all off?'
âYou shut up, or I'll cut
your
hair off,' I said, and then I rushed out the back door quick before she could get me.
I hitched myself up on the wall, the Barbies clutched in one hand like a weird bouquet. Mary wasn't on the swing. The baby doll wasn't there in its buggy. The garden was empty.
I sat on the wall, swinging my legs. I waited. Then I got fed up with waiting. I decided it would be fun to arrange the Barbies in a little circle just inside Mary's gate, with their right arms all raised as if they were waving to her. She'd have a little laugh when she found them.
I jumped over my wall, crossed the alley, carefully opened the stiff latch and crept inside. I squatted down by the gate and propped each Barbie up against it, their hands up. They looked much dirtier in Mary's garden, their haircuts more brutal. I'd tipped all their breasts with red felt pen and now I wished I hadn't. I licked my finger and tried rubbing their chests hard to get it off.
âWhat are you up to, eh?'
I was so startled I fell backwards on my bottom. I looked up, scarlet in the face. A man was staring down at me. He had huge scary scissors in his hand. I gave a little squeal.
âHey, hey, it's all right. Don't be frightened!' He saw me looking at the awful scissors and dropped them on the grass. âIt's all right, they're just my pruning shears. My little girl doesn't like them either.'
âYou're Mary's dad?' I said.
âYou know my Mary?'
I nodded, but I didn't say she was my friend. I didn't want to get her into trouble. But he was smiling at me now. He bent down and helped pull me up. The Barbies trembled and then fainted simultaneously.
âAre these your dollies? Why were you putting them in my garden? What are they, Pretty Maids all in a row?'
âI thought Mary might like to play with them,' I whispered.
âWhat a nice thought,' he said, though he looked at the Barbies a bit doubtfully.
âCan I see her?'
âWell, I think she's finishing her tea right now,' he said. âShe's a bit of a picky eater, our Mary. She's in trouble with her mum for not eating her crusts. Do you eat your crusts?'
I nodded, though I was fibbing.
He took a deep breath. âWell, why don't you come in and show Mary a good example, eh?'
I gathered up the swooning Barbies and trotted along beside him, up the green striped lawn to the patio. He paused at their back door.
âWipe your feet, dear. My wife's a bit particular. Very very houseproud.' He took his own gardening shoes off and walked indoors in his fluffy socks. I followed him on tiptoe.
I couldn't believe their house. Their kitchen looked like it was still in a showroom, brand new and pin-neat, every pan in place and shining like a little sun. The kitchen table was scrubbed clean and totally bare. They didn't eat in there.
They had a special dining room where they had their tea. It was rose-pink with dark gleaming furniture. The dining-room table had a fancy white cloth on it, its scalloped edges stiff with embroidery. It was still set for tea time, with special rosy plates and cups and saucers. There was a big plate containing a few sandwiches, another plate of chocolate biscuits and a third plate with a big iced sponge cake topped with cherries. There were a couple of slices missing, so I could see the thick jam and buttercream. My mouth started watering.
Mary was sitting up very straight, a plate of four crusts in front of her. They were in a square, like a frame without a picture. Mary's mother was standing beside her, arms folded, her mouth in a straight line. They both looked astonished to see me.
âNot you again!' said Mary's mother.
âI invited her in, love,' said Mary's dad. âShe's brought a little present for our Mary, isn't that nice of her?'
Mary's mother looked at my Barbies as if they were cockroaches. âYes, very nice, but Mary has her own dolls, dear,' she said. âShe doesn't want yours.'
There was a cabinet of dolls right behind her. They were dressed like old-fashioned little girls in pink and lilac and lemon smocked dresses, with flouncy petticoats and white socks and tiny black patent shoes. They all had pink cheeks and dimples and were smiling widely, showing off their little pearly teeth. Some had glossy ringlets and ribbons, some had short curls and heart-shaped hairslides, some had very neat nylon plaits.
âAre
they
Mary's dolls?' I asked, awed.
âGood heavens, no. They're
my
dolls, my Dimpled
Darlings
special collection. They're collector's items,' said Mary's mother.
I couldn't help thinking she'd like to keep Mary in a cabinet too, squeaky clean and dusted, dimples permanently in place. Mary was blinking at me, nibbling her lip.
âI've come to tea!' I said, trying to reassure her.
Mary's mother frowned. âNot today, dear. Off you run now. And take your dollies with you.'
âI asked her, love,' said Mary's dad. âI thought it might help our Mary learn to eat up her crusts. Sit yourself down then. What's your name?'
âDixie.'
âWait a minute ⦠Dixie,' said Mary's mum. She said my name as if it was a rude word. She thrust a glossy magazine on the pink and white striped seat of the dining chair, as if she thought my bottom would sully it. The magazine felt cold and uncomfy and it crackled whenever I moved. I fidgeted from buttock to buttock, not sure whether I should help myself to a sandwich or not. At home you just grabbed, but everything was so different in Mary's house.
Mary's mother offered me the plate, making it like a little ritual. I took two sandwiches, one in each hand, so she wouldn't have to go through the whole rigmarole again. She frowned at me, so I guessed this was a mistake. I ate the sandwiches quickly, taking alternate bites. One was cream cheese and cucumber, the other some sort of fishy stuff with green leafy bits. They weren't very nice.
âOh, yummy,' I said politely. âLook, Mary, I'm eating my crusts all up.'
They were quite hard crusts, with a burnt taste. I
could
see how they'd stick in your throat and stop you swallowing. I chewed hard but the crusts took ages to turn into mush. My teeth were all gummed up with them. I'd simply spit them out at home but this obviously wasn't an option.
âThe crusts are extra yummy, Mary,' I mumbled through my mouthful.
Mary looked at me forlornly. I felt like I was betraying her.
âDon't worry, I never ate crusts when I was your age though,' I said.
âAre you going to eat your crusts now, Mary?' said her dad.
Mary nodded, but when she tried poking a crust into her mouth I saw her shudder and retch. The crust slid out of her mouth, slippery and revolting.
âDear, dear, Mary,' said her mother. She said it softly, but it sounded like a threat.
âWould you like a slice of cake now, Dixie?' said Mary's dad.
âOooh yes. Please!' I said. I glanced at Mary. âCan she have cake now too?'
âYes, of course she can have some cake. In a minute. When she's eaten up those crusts,' said Mary's mum.
I ate a slice of cake. It was lovely, but I couldn't enjoy it. I wolfed it down to get rid of it, and choked, spraying crumbs everywhere. I felt myself going red again. âCan I have a drink of water?' I gasped.
I didn't really need it. I thought if Mary's mum went to get it I'd have a chance to grab Mary's crusts off her plate and gobble them up for her. But Mary's dad went to get it. Mary's mum stood over Mary like a jailer.
âYou'd better run along now, dear. Perhaps you'd like to take a slice of sponge for your sister?' She smiled graciously.
âDixie's got three sisters,' Mary whispered.
Four
, I thought.
Mary's mother made me up a paper napkin parcel of cake. âFour slices,' she said.
âIt's home-made,' said Mary's father proudly. âNot many women find time to bake their own cakes nowadays.'
Mary's mother simpered and smoothed her blonde curls. She seemed so pretty and so sweet but she couldn't fool me.
I stood up to go. I swallowed hard. âMary's not going to get smacked for not eating her crusts, is she?' I said.
Mary's mother frowned. Her dad looked shocked.
âWe don't ever smack our Mary,' he said.
âWhatever gave you that idea?' said Mary's mother.
I looked at Mary helplessly but kept my mouth shut.
Mary's dad ushered me out the dining room, back down the hall, through the spotless kitchen to the back garden.
âMary can be a bit stubborn at times, I'm told. “Mary Mary, quite contrary,” like the nursery rhyme. Oh, you forgot your dollies. I think it's best you take them home, dear.'
I ran back to the dining room where I'd dropped them. Mary and her mum were still at the table. Mary's mum was pinching Mary's nose so that her mouth fell open. She rammed the crusts right down her throat, so hard that Mary's head jerked backwards.
I gasped in terror. Mary's mum straightened up. She smiled at me.
âThere!' she said. âMary's eaten up all her crusts like a good girl.'