Diablo Blanco Club 2, Under Control (4 page)

“You wouldn‟t be the first.”

“I‟ll never turn my back, but renegotiating is very likely. In fact, it almost happened four years ago when I came back from that trip to South America.”

Ben nodded, his eyes closing as if savoring the memory of that brief instant when they had drifted close, their mouths a whisper away from each other, before the raucous laugh of a Club visitor had shattered the moment.

Ben‟s warm, callused fingertips rose to stroke Vance‟s cheek. The rasp of Vance‟s beard stubble against the pads of Ben‟s fingers echoed in the quiet room. Electricity arced between them, making it harder for Vance to stifle the urge to drag Ben‟s head down to his and seal their mouths together. He‟d wondered what Ben would taste like.

For years he‟d dreamed of spending minutes, hours, days devouring Ben‟s mouth.

Kissing Ben would happen, but not now. Not yet. He first needed to harness the beast inside him, to regain his ability to tell his body what to do, instead of the other way around. That was step one. Then he would tell Ben what was in his heart. He needed to stick to the plan. He needed to regain control over his body and mind first.

Pulling away, Vance gripped his friend‟s hand and shook his head. “Not yet.”

Making sure Ben remained in front of him, he moved toward the restraints.

“But—”

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Qwillia Rain

“Get through this, and we‟ll talk.”
Hell
. Vance retreated a step and grimaced.
I’ll be
very lucky if he sticks around after I tell him what I’ve done
. Taking his place beneath the steel chains suspended from the ceiling, he lifted his right hand and secured the clamp to the D-ring. The clumsy fumbling of his fingers had heat burning in his cheeks, but Ben didn‟t try to help him. Though long enough to allow him some range of motion and leave his arms bent into an L shape, the other chain was just out of his reach, so he held his left hand up and waited for Ben to fasten it for him.

“You‟re a damned tease, Justiss,” Ben grumbled, sliding the clamp into place and moving back far enough that he could lean against the leather-covered wall.

It settled the knot in Vance‟s belly to see more amusement than concern in Ben‟s eyes. But that amusement wasn‟t likely to last. Hoping to keep him placated, Vance gave Ben a lopsided grin. “You haven‟t seen me tease yet, Murphy.”

“Ah, how soon we forget.” Ben chuckled. “I was tending bar the night the pretty redheaded model negotiated a threesome with you and David Henderson.”

Memories of the hot, wet clasp of that particular female‟s pussy had Vance‟s grin widening. “I‟d forgotten about that.” But before he could begin to relax, the image of cobalt eyes flashed through his mind and the feel of another redheaded woman‟s tense frame pressed against his sent a shudder through his body. His smile slipped away, and the strength of his arousal waned.

The wary look that filled Ben‟s eyes had Vance swallowing heavily. He watched Ben‟s broad chest lift as he filled his lungs with a long, slow breath and then released it.

“You know”—Ben offered with a lopsided grin—“with as many times as we‟ve come close but never done anything, we could just skip this part and go straight to the fucking.”

Vance had always known how much he needed this man. “If I had known you wanted me as much as I‟ve wanted you, I would have hauled your sweet ass into bed twenty minutes after I found Tina screwing that drummer in the alley behind the bar Diablo Blanco Club: Under Control

23

downtown. Or the week you spent helping me arrange and get through my parents‟

funerals.”

“I could have used some hot sex to get me through Amanda and Gavin‟s funeral too.” Ben shook his head.

“Dad and Mom liked you.” Vance nodded.

Ben seemed to shake off the melancholy feelings as he grinned. “It was a hell of a shock to have your dad asking me if we were involved that first night you invited me to San Diablo on leave.”

“Ironic that they noticed it before we did.” Vance smiled and recalled. “Mom was always asking if you were still free when she‟d write me.”

Ben grimaced. “If your dad hadn‟t explained to me why you use punishment the way you do, I might have stopped after that first time.”

Vance shifted his feet, unsure how he felt about the disclosures his father may have made to the man he loved. “Why did you ask him and not me?”

Ben shrugged. “Because I wasn‟t sure if you were teasing me or if you really trusted me enough.”

“I wouldn‟t have had you help me every time I came back from a mission in one piece if I hadn‟t trusted you.”

“Instead, you‟ve had me beat your ass until you come.”

“Too bad we‟ve never done the fucking part.”

“Yeah.” Ben moved away from the wall and stepped close, using only his eyes to examine Vance‟s body. “I know. Damned shame, huh?”

Feeling the slide of Ben‟s gaze like a caress against his skin, Vance felt his cock twitch and harden again. Taking the one step that still separated their bodies, he thrust the fingers of his left hand through Ben‟s hair, tugged his head down, and whispered against his lips, “But we‟re gonna correct that tonight.”

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Qwillia Rain

Vance pressed his mouth against Ben‟s, savoring the firm, soft flesh before pushing his tongue inside to stroke and tease. He couldn‟t hold back his smile when he tasted a hint of cherries. Ben‟s addiction to the jarred fruit was legendary in their old unit. But mixed with the heady flavor all his own, Vance was sure he could easily develop an addiction to Ben‟s kisses.

Even as his mouth fed on Ben‟s, Vance wondered how long Ben‟s need for him would last. The few men he‟d been attracted to in the past hadn‟t stuck around for long.

Not that he‟d expected them to. His career wasn‟t one to inspire intimacy, especially in a same-sex relationship. The “don‟t ask, don‟t tell” rule in the military in no way offered protection from harassment by homophobic soldiers. Hell, even some of the men in their unit had been reluctant to socialize with him or Ben when they suspected their preferences weren‟t restricted to women. However, most of their fellow marines had determined that trial by fire more than earned them the right to be treated as equals.

Ben‟s hands were warm where they clutched Vance‟s hips, holding him close against the thick erection confined by his khaki trousers. Vance‟s own hard-on had reached full strength, even without the application of the whip. That same arousal, however, stilled yet again when Ben‟s hands moved to his back and slid across the first of a dozen or so scars that crisscrossed Vance‟s skin.

Ben pulled free, moving to better view the damage done to Vance‟s back. “Christ,”

he hissed, his fingers carefully tracing the raised scars. “What the fuck did you get yourself into, soldier?”

“There was a bit of a problem on my last mission…” The amusement in Vance‟s voice was evident though Ben was sure he tried to suppress it.

“Problem, my ass.” Ben came around to face his friend. “Cluster fuck is more like it. There‟s no way I‟m taking the whip…” he started, imagining the pain Vance had endured.

Diablo Blanco Club: Under Control

25

“No.” The firm resolve in Vance‟s voice had Ben meeting his gaze. “Either you do it, or I get Halsey to send someone up here.”

“The chances of opening these wounds up—”

Again, Vance interrupted him. “Are slim. Besides, you never strike higher than the base of my spine or lower than midthigh.”

“Still—” Ben started.

“It‟s either you or someone else.”

He suspected Vance was bluffing, but he couldn‟t be sure. He knew the younger man needed someone he could trust, someone who understood the roiling emotions that he needed to control. Downstairs there were unattached Dommes and Doms who could provide Vance with punishment, but the concern for his mind wouldn‟t necessarily be a priority to them. Vance‟s trust in his own control was at stake. Allowing a stranger, someone unconcerned with the emotions bombarding Vance, had Ben swallowing the rest of his argument.

“Nothing too extreme tonight, Vance.”

“Take me to my place, Ben.”

The plea in his friend‟s voice had the hair rising on the back of Ben‟s neck. “Vance, your back isn‟t in any condition to take on that kind of treatment.”

“Just once.” Vance held his gaze. The pain in his blue-green eyes was visible, even if it was firmly repressed. “I need this one more than any other time, Ben.”

“Why?”

Vance remained silent, his gaze steady.

Ben struggled against the urge to demand Vance explain himself. He had watched him deal with the loss of his parents and his anger at seeing a child maimed by a rebel extremist during their last mission overseas together. Each time he had provided the punishment Vance needed to harness the fury inside of him, but something about him this time unnerved Ben. “You need to tell me, V. Why this? Why now?”

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Qwillia Rain

Vance shook his head. His gaze was shuttered. “After. Take me to my place, and I‟ll explain it to you after.”

The utter resignation in his voice swayed Ben. Despite his reservations, he agreed.

“Okay, but just once.” Ben moved to the bed and collected the coiled whip.

In the mirror, he could see Vance twist in his bonds to watch him cross the short space. The instant Ben caught sight of the smaller device, he suspected his love had something different in mind than their usual session. Keeping his mind focused on what he would need to do over the next few hours, his hand flexed around the supple woven handle of the shortened bullwhip.

“How long this time?” Ben asked, returning to take his place behind his friend—

within striking distance.

“Until I say stop.”

“Same safe word? Evac?”

Vance shook his head. “No. Make it „Aimee‟ this time.”

Ben fell silent. Something was definitely wrong, but he knew Vance. No matter how long or hard he demanded an answer, the younger man would remain quiet until he was ready to reveal the truth.

His hesitation must have unsettled Vance, because he glanced over his shoulder.

“Ben?”

Swallowing his protest, Ben nodded. “Okay, Aimee it is.”

Diablo Blanco Club: Under Control

27

Chapter Three

The first lash landed across his ass. There was enough force in the blow to sting but not to hurt. Vance knew Ben used the test strike before on other lovers who were curious about the way pain could draw out pleasure, but he had never needed the warm-up with him before. In the years his friend had been performing the punishments, Vance had never balked at the weight of Ben‟s blows. This time wasn‟t any different.

“Harder, Ben.” He glared over his shoulder at the older man, conveying his need for heavier handling.

Lifting the whip, Ben increased the snap of the leather, this time striking hard enough that Vance was sure it caused a visible red welt to form across his lower back and left ass cheek. His fists clenched above the buckled black leather, but not a sound escaped his lips. Turning his gaze back to the onyx leather-covered wall in front of him, he silently counted each lash as it fell.

Over and over the whip sliced through the quiet room, its whistle and crack muffled by the padded walls. No matter where the blows were placed, above or below or even directly on his butt, Vance never uttered a sound. His breathing never grew labored—he made sure of that—and his gaze never strayed from the tiny imperfection 28

Qwillia Rain

on the wall he‟d found years ago, a ripple in the leather identifying a small scar on the animal‟s hide. It was the one spot he always searched for and centered his mind on during his sessions with Ben.

His attention narrowed, his focus zeroing in on the dimple as he tried to channel the energy building in his body. Controlling his body, relaxing into and absorbing the sting of each blow had always stirred Vance‟s blood more than any adrenaline rush induced by the life-and-death missions he‟d been on in the past. He used the pain to help him focus and channeled it, which produced a feeling of power he‟d only ever experienced in orgasm. He used the minute flaw in the black leather as his lodestone, his focal point.

His nemesis.

The snap and crack of the whip preceded the sting along his lower back, drawing his attention back to his body. The heat of his skin where the lash landed sank deeper to pool in the center of his body. The sensation of power he gained by managing his need, his feelings, was there, but it was just out of reach. It hovered on the edge, teasing him as he fought against his body‟s urge to dance beneath the pain of each strike of the whip. Even as he used the spot on the wall to direct his energy, it seemed to act as a siphon, a vacuum, drawing away every bit of proof that he was a man capable of holding the reins on his body and mind—no matter what happened. What good was he if he couldn‟t make his body respond when he ordered it? It was that control, the proof that he was the master of his body that he so desperately sought.

And he was damned well going to get it back.

In the time since his semifailed mission, since the wounds to his flesh had healed while those to his soul continued to fester, his mind wouldn‟t let him attain that fire, that moment of release so profound that heaven seemed millimeters away. And still it teased him. With every strike, the whistle and crack of the whip sounded, heat striped his ass, pain zinged along his nerves, but despite the thick jut of his cock, no other Diablo Blanco Club: Under Control

29

evidence of climax whispered through his body—proof it was no longer his control that dictated his pleasure.

He could feel the twist of his emotions pulling at him, taunting him even as he worked to gain leverage against them—without that leverage, without that upper hand, he would be lost. That was what terrified him, just as it had when he was a child—the intensity of his feelings ruling his body. He feared that he no longer controlled the beast that was his emotions. The reins had slipped from his grasp in a dirt-floored shack in the middle of some damned desert, and he wanted them back. He wanted to rule the creature inside him, not be ruled by it.