Devoted (6 page)

There is so much emotion written on his face, I am speechless. My father is rarely affected by anything, but this is tearing him up and it is obvious that he had feelings for this girl. “What happened to her?” I ask, dreading what he is about to reveal.

“He had a gun to her head, ready to pull the trigger when we arrived. All I could think was that I was gonna lose her before I got the chance to really know her.”

“Did he…?” I can’t even finish my sentence, anticipating the worst.

“No,” he says, his eyes meeting mine. “She survived, just like she’d always done.”

We stand in deafening silence for several minutes, neither of us saying a word. “And that’s why Tank made you his VP?” I finally ask.

“Yeah. Tank wanted me to be his right hand man and even if he hadn’t asked me to stay, I couldn’t leave.”

“Because you fell in love with her?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

Nodding his head, his eyes meet mine. “And she fell in love with me.”

“So what happened to her?”

Turning towards me, his eyes come alive. “She agreed to become my wife.”

“Mom?” I ask, shaking my head in disbelief. The girl he spoke about, everything she went through… it can’t be.

“Your mom never wanted any of her children to learn about her past until they were ready. I know she opened up to you about what happened with The Skulls, but this is something she’s never spoken openly about, except with me and Shadow. Even Tank doesn’t know everything she went through. After everything that went down with Rattletop, I figured you needed to know that your mom is OK. She’s a fighter,” he explains.

I stand there speechless, unable to process all the information he has given me. 

“The dark is unending. There are always demons lurking in the shadows,” he says, rising from the table. “Her past, yours, and mine, they are a part of our lives every single day. We don’t dwell on it, and neither should you.” He nods it me one last time before heading towards the house, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

CHAPTER 13

Blake

I open my eyes at the sound of the gentle knock on my bedroom door. “Come in,” I call out, already knowing who is on the other side.

“Good morning,” Mom says, smiling at me as she steps inside. “I made French toast.” My stomach grumbles at the mere mention of food.

Tossing the covers off me, I climb out of bed. “What’s the occasion?” I ask as I pull a pair of jeans over my boxers.

“Figured I’d better feed you before asking you for a ride,” she calls over her shoulder as she heads down the hallway.

“Wait, a ride?” I ask, stumbling as I follow behind her. “What’s wrong with the Challenger?”

“Nothing,” she says as she enters the kitchen. Piling four pieces of French toast on a plate, she passes it to me. “I figured you wouldn’t mind driving Casper again.”

“Are you trying to get my ass kicked?” I mumble around a mouthful of food, ignoring the absurd name she’s bestowed on the Harley. 

“Watch your mouth,” she warns me. “And I already told him about it and dared him to say one word, so you’re safe.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll trust you,” I smirk. “So where are we going?”

“Just the club. Tank found some boxes in the attic the other night that has a bunch of paperwork from our parents. I know it’s just an excuse not to be alone, but he asked me to come help him go through it, so that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“So not only are you a good wife and mother, you’re a good sister too,” I say, smiling at the woman I have admired my entire life. “So why do you need me?”

“Oh, quit trying to kiss my ass,” she grins, blushing at my words. “If I go alone, Tank’ll never let me leave.”

“Watch your mouth young lady,” I snicker, throwing her words back at her.

“Touché asshole,” she says, smacking me on the back of the head before picking up our dirty plates. “Let me clean up real quick and we can head out.”

“I’ve got the dishes,” I tell her grabbing the two plates from her hands. “You go do whatever you need to and we’ll head out.”

Twenty minutes later, we pull into the compound to see Tank leaning against the front wall, his arms crossed. As I cut the engine, he walks towards us, shaking his head. “Your dad know you’ve got his ol’ lady on the back of his ride?”

“Shut up Tank,” Mom says as she climbs off the back. “Viper knows and the last time I checked, this is my ride not his.”

“No need to get your panties in a wad,” he laughs as he lifts her easily off her feet into a bear hug. “Thanks for coming by.”

“Where else would I be?” she says, as he lowers her to the ground. The way she and Tank are, reminds me so much of myself and Bethany. We may fight like cats and dogs, call each other names and irritate the piss out of one another, but in the end, we can always depend on one another.

“There were some photos in one of the boxes. I know how sentimental you are and thought you’d like to go through it,” he says as he throws his arm over her shoulder, guiding her inside the club.

I trail behind them, not uttering a word. One day, this will be me and Bethany.

“Blake, you can pick me up in a few hours if you want. This might take a while,” she says, turning to face me.

“I think I’ll hang out a bit, then maybe run over to Ricky’s for lunch. You want anything?”

“My usual,” she says, reaching into her purse and pulling out a twenty. “And don’t forget the extra onions this time.”

“Yes Mommy,” I say, grinning at her.

She narrows her eyes at me, giving me that look. “I brought you into this world…”

“And you can take me out. I know, Mom. I know,” I say shaking my head and walking towards the pool table in the back corner of the room. Picking up a cue, I decide to practice my game. Last time I played Shadow, he whipped my ass and I’m determined to take him down, at least once.

Taking my first shot, I smile as I sink two of the balls. I line up two more shots, pocketing the balls with ease. If only I could run the table like this when Shadow was around, I could finally put him in his place. The man is a pool shark and rarely loses.

As I sink the eight ball, a feeling of satisfaction takes over. “Fuck yeah!” I roar, slamming the cue on the table.

An almost inaudible yelp causes me to lift my head, my eyes landing on the small form that has just entered the room. Even from this distance, I can see the fear in her eyes. “Sorry about that,” I say, smiling at her. “I go a little overboard sometimes.”

She widens her eyes as I walk towards her, stepping back as I approach. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” I say, coming to an abrupt stop. She is beautiful, with hair the color of honey and hazel eyes with flecks of copper scattered throughout. “I’m Blake,” I say, extending my hand to her.

She stares down at my hand as if it’s an alien concept, then looks up at me in bewilderment. “I’m Bella,” she whispers, her voice trembling. “I was looking for Jade. I thought I heard her,” she says, looking around the otherwise vacant room.

“She’s in back with Tank,” I say, trying to place her face. “I haven’t seen you around before.”

“Um… I uh…”

“I thought I heard your voice,” Mom says, walking into the room. “I see you two finally met.” Bella relaxes the moment she hears my mom’s voice, turning her attention towards her. “I hope my son has been on his best behavior.”

“Your son?” Bella asks, looking back over at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” her voice trails off as a blush creeps up her face.

“No need to apologize. I didn’t have the chance to properly introduce myself,” I say, smiling at her.

She quickly lowers her head, her eyes focusing on the floor. “I was hoping we could talk,” she whispers, not looking up and I immediately know she’s not talking to me.

“Sure Bella,” my mom says, leading her down the hallway and out of sight.

“Bella.” Her name rolls of my tongue with ease. She is the epitome of beauty. Shy and timid, yet stunning. Her presence demands attention, even though I can see her need to escape from it.

“I can’t believe this shit,” Tank mumbles, storming into the main room. “Your mom is a piece of work.” He takes a seat on one of the bar stools, shaking his head. “She kicked me out of my own fuckin’ office. Can you believe that shit?”

“Believe what? That she kicked you out or that you let her?” I chuckle.

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” he grumbles, narrowing his eyes in warning.

Biting back my laughter, I make my way towards the exit and only when I am outside do I finally erupt.

CHAPTER 14

Bella

“They won’t go away,” I mutter, looking down as I fist my hands in my lap. I hate being here and the only reason I agreed to these sessions is to appease Jade. She’s done so much for me. They all have, but this is a waste of time and money.

“Did you think they would?”

“Yes,” I say, lifting my eyes to meet Dr. Hamilton’s. “It’s over now. I should be able to move on.”

“That’s not how it works, Bella. We’ve discussed this before. Nightmares are the brain's way of focusing your attention on issues you need to address.”

“What’s there to address? It happened. I can’t go back and change it, but I don’t want to keep reliving it over and over again.” It’s the same thing I’ve told him each and every time we’ve met. What doesn’t he get?

He says nothing momentarily, nodding his head and for a moment I think he finally gets it. “What are your nightmares about?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble, feeling even more discouraged. “What do you think they’re about?” I fume.

“I want to hear the words, Bella. Not that he hurt you or did things to you. I want you to say exactly what happened and what was going through your mind.”

Narrowing my eyes at him, it takes everything I have not to get up and walk out of his office. “No.”

“And there lies your problem. You can’t hide from your past, Bella. Until you are willing to talk about it, no one can help you.”

Shaking my head, I quickly rise from my chair. “So I guess we’re done then,” I say, rushing towards the door.

“Bella.” Drawing in a deep breath, I turn around, looking at Dr. Hamilton defiantly. He can’t help me. No one can. “Do you really think running away will solve all your problems?

“No, but how will sitting here help me? Don’t you get it? I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to forget!”

“I once had a patient even more insolent than you,” he says in a hushed tone. “She was such a beautiful, young girl that had been through more hell than anyone I have ever encountered. She wanted to forget too.”

“And you helped her?” I ask, sinking into the chair I had just abandoned.

He shakes his head. “To forget? No. Those memories are still with her to this very day,” he says as he rises from his chair. Without another word, he heads for the door and steps out of his office for a brief moment, only to return a moment later followed by Jade.

My eyes widen, a look of confusion on my face as Jade takes a seat in the empty chair beside me.

“Don’t worry, Bella. I only asked Jade to come today to share her story with you,” Dr. Hamilton continues, resuming his seat across from us. “So that you can see firsthand that a person can overcome their past, even if the memory never goes away. We won’t discuss anything about your personal experience unless you choose to do so.”

I say nothing, reluctantly nodding my head in agreement. I don’t see how this will help, but if it means him laying off of me for a while, I’m up for anything.

“I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting Jade until later in life, so I can’t take credit for anything she is about to tell you, but I think her story is one you need to hear.”

Turning my attention to Jade, I listen intently as she starts to speak. “I was sixteen when I first visited hell,” she begins.

There are no tears as she tells her story: handed over to a rival club by her uncle. She does not waver as she talks of the four years of torture she suffered at the hands of those men, but I can see the pain radiating in her eyes as she relives just a portion of the torment she endured. Suddenly, all pain disappears and is replaced with an emotion that is foreign to me, as she speaks of the man who saved her. Viper, the man with the eyes of a coldblooded killer, entered the Condemned Warriors world in order to bring her home.

I am speechless as she recalls her recovery and the months that followed, and just when I think she’s going to tell me about how she found her happily ever after, she throws me a curveball. Her nightmare didn’t end. Instead, she was taken by a surviving member of the Condemned Warriors seeking revenge, and once again, Viper came to her rescue.

“I wanted to forget and every time I thought I was close, the memories came rushing back. I was taken back in time, forced to relive the agony all over again. It was Viper who saved me, not just from the situation I was in, but from myself. Without him, I would’ve continued to run and never faced my demons. They would have won and I wouldn’t be the person I am today. You can’t let Rattletop win, Bella.”

In this moment, for the first time, I see the real Jade – the person she was before and the person she has become. In an instant, she has become my inspiration, not only because she survived, but because she overcame. To see her now, you wouldn’t know anything about her past. She is even stronger than I gave her credit for.

“I’m not like you, I don’t think I can,” I admit, looking over at her with tear filled eyes.

“You’re stronger than you think you are. The first thing you have to do is learn to trust again.” Reaching over, she lays her hand upon my own. “To open up and not be ashamed. Stop blaming yourself. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.”

“You are one of the lucky ones, Bella. The people you’ve surrounded yourself with care about you and with their help, you will get through this. And maybe in time, you’ll even open up to me,” Dr. Hamilton says, smiling at both of us.

I want that more than anything, but just like always, I am gripped by fear. Talking about it will make it even more real, that’s something I can’t accept. “I can’t do this,” I say, shaking my head as I rush from the room.