Authors: Patricia Wentworth
They never die.
To Adela, Richard Morton had given his youth, his aspirations, and his love. That she had not been able to receive them mattered very little. They were given, and given with both hands, the gifts of an ardent heart.
Dick was in there with his gifts, and dead gifts have ghastly faces. Helen had her gifts too, but she and they were shut out. She had neither part nor lot. In that hour she knew the meaning of the outer darkness. It closed upon her, her being was alone in it. Somewhere beyond it Dick called with a voice of pain.
Once before he had called and she had followed through the deep waters. Now she could not rise and go to him because it was not she to whom he called. He called to that which had no longer the breath of life. She could not go to him. She could not help him.
Love does not ask for gifts, it asks to give. When it can give no longer, it turns to anguish. Helen's suffering became very great. She bore with Adela the burden of dying, and with Dick the burden of remembrance.
And she too remembered. Every kiss, every touch, every word.
The hours of the night went by. When at last Helen moved, and rose from her chair, she stood by the door for a long time listening, her feet in the black shadow, her head bowed forward in the dusk that was mingled of the lamplight and the first beginnings of the day.
When she had stood listening for a long while, a bird chirped at one of the high windows. Helen trembled a little, then pushed the door and passed the threshold.
A greyish dimness came in through the small window that was under the roof. It looked like a mist, as it mixed with the shadows that clung about the raftered ceiling. The lamp on the dressing-table burned with a garish yellow flame. Its light reached across to the bed, but fell short of Adela's face.
Helen came near, kneeled down, and put her hand on Dick's, which had lost its warmth, and upon Adela's, which was cold.
After a breathless moment she hid her face and prayed.
She prayed for them all. For Adelaâpoor Adieânot her fault. How could it be her fault when she was made like that?âand we loved herâwe did love herâpoor, poor Adie. For Dickâhe has been so hurt, don't hurt him any moreâ please, please don't hurt him any more. For herselfâthat I may comfortâthat I may help.
She prayed these childish phrases over and over. Not her faultâdon't hurt himâlet me comfort. O GodâGodâGodâ
All form was gone. Only the power that is within, the spirit which is man, beat at the immortal doors, cried to the Immortal Love.
And in the end there was lightâsomething that shoneâthat answered,âan inflowing of life.
Helen leaned upon the bed, and rose unsteadily to her feet.
“Dick,” she said very low, and he moved, showing her a face she scarcely knew.
“She isâgone,” Helen said in a quivering voice. She put out her hand, and touched Adela upon the brow. The cold of death was there, but Helen's hand lingered in a sort of trembling tenderness, before she drew the sheet up high and smooth above the pillow and above Adela's dead face of peace. When it was done she turned towards Richard Morton, swaying.
“Dick,” she said again, and her shaking hand found his, and drew him, until he came stiffly to his feet, and stood beside her. Her touch clung rather than compelled, and he obeyed its tremulous weakness. They passed the threshold; and the door was shut.
In the farther room the lamp was living upon the very last of its spent oil. It flickered, and the shadows leapt, it died, and they crowded in upon the dying glow. Helen put out her hand and turned the wick down.
For a moment the dark was all. Then she went to the window, drew back the curtain that hung there, unlatched the long glass door, and flung it wide to the cold morning air.
Richard Morton moved past her as she drew back. Without turning his head he went out upon the verandah, and Helen followed. It was dusk still, and there were no stars, but it was not the darkness of the closely curtained room. There was a greyness mixed with it, and a faint shining light that awoke far off in the east.
Helen watched the sky where the stars had faded, and words from the gospel of Saint John rose up in her mind. She saw them there like slowly floating birds with tender, dawn-flushed wings. “The light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not.”
“When you understand, it grows light,” she said under her breath.
She looked at Richard Morton, and her heart yearned over him. If he were her child, she could comfort him now. Was there no comfort for the father of her child? The greyness increased, until the dark was gone. She saw his haggard face, and the strained endurance with which he met the day. In that moment her love for him became pure agony. The need to speak, to touch him, burned in her; but there were no words to vex this stillness of the dawn. She took his hand, still chilly from Adela's touch, lifted it to her bosom, and held it there. Her heart beat against it. It grew warm, and closed on hers in a strong grip that hurt, and healed.
The light brightened in the east. They stood together and waited for the sun to rise.
Originally published in 1912
Cover design by Andrea Worthington
978-1-4804-4266-5
This edition published in 2015 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.
345 Hudson Street
New York, NY 10014
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