Devil May Care (Four Horsemen MC Book 4) (22 page)

 “Why don’t you cut the shit and level with me?”

Captain shook his head. “Because I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Oh yeah?” he said. “Those brothers you're so loyal to, the ones you love so much. If they found out you’d ratted, they’d turn on you, wouldn’t they? And I’m betting the penalty for disloyalty is mighty high.”

He clenched his jaw and didn’t say a goddamn word.

 “I wonder what your brothers would do, if they knew you’d called the feds. Sure would be a shame if someone let it slip.”

He wanted to deny it, but he couldn’t. So, he settled for glowering at the agent.

“You have yourself a real good day.” The agent backed away from him, a self-righteous smirk on his face.

Moments later, Captain took off on his bike, his mind racing.  He gunned the engine, hit the open road, but it was useless.  He’d been running from his past for decades and it had finally caught up to him.

If the agent told the brothers before he did, he wouldn’t have a chance to explain himself, defend himself. Not that it would do much good. He knew exactly what would happen to him. And it would be painless, two shots to the back of the head. Over in a second. Then one of the brothers would be crushing his skull in the desert. Probably Duke. He was the only one who’d have the stomach for what had to be done.

His reprieve had come to an end and it was time to get his house in order.  Captain was a dead man riding.

Chapter Sixteen

Captain lost track of the time.

He went for a long ride to clear his head through the desert and back, let his thoughts drift.  It had given him time to come up with a game plan. When he finally pulled up outside his apartment building, it was getting dark. He ran inside to grab a few things before he went to Eddie’s place.

 He needed to tell her before he came clean with the club. She deserved to hear the truth from his lips.  After all, she was the one he’d harmed the most in this situation— her husband behind bars, her life turned upside down.  

Captain worked the combination on his safe. After the lock opened, he withdrew a blue velvet box containing his grandmother’s wedding rings. She’d insisted he have them, since she didn’t have any daughters to pass them on to, and she’d asked that he give the ring to his future wife, but he hadn’t gone through with it. Somehow, it never felt right to give it to his wife. In his mind, it had always belonged to Eddie. He’d given Lexie the option of having the rings saved for her, but she said she’d wanted a ring of her very own. One a man had picked out just for her.

He opened the jewelry box to see the marquise art deco ring from the 1920s. The setting was platinum, with both black and white diamonds. Though, apparently the black ones were actually onyx. It suited Eddie – old fashioned but a little modern at the same time, absolutely unique. She wouldn’t want a traditional gold band and white diamond.

And before his brothers took him out of this world, he’d make sure she had it. Even if it was one of the last things he did. After grabbing the jewelry box,, he headed for her place.

When he arrived, he found her at the kitchen table with a glass of milk, wearing a white satin robe, fresh from the shower, judging by her wet hair and flushed cheeks. She had dark purple rings beneath both her eyes.  She’d looked troubled and he didn’t know why. And now he was about to add to the problem.

Eddie held out her arms to him. “Come here.”

He should tell her right now, but he couldn’t resist the temptation of her embrace. He went on his knees in front of her, wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head in her lap, holding on to the last few moments he had with her like this.

Once he told her, she’d hate him. And with good fucking reason.

She stroked his hair. “Is something wrong?”

Damn.
She could sense it. Eddie always could read him like a book.

“Yeah, I gotta tell you somethin’,” Captain forced the words out.  

“Okay. But, can you tell me…after?” she asked, undoing the tie on her robe.

He leaned back on his haunches and took a long, leisurely look at every single beautiful inch of her.  He’d take the sight with him to the grave. “After?”

“After you make love to me.” She kissed him and then muttered against his mouth, “I’m sorry, but I need to be close to you and I can’t wait.”

“Now, it’s my turn to ask you.” He cupped her cheek. “Is something wrong?”

She smiled, but her chin trembled. Then, she paraphrased their song. “No, honey, we’ve got a lot of livin’ to do…”

“Before we die,” Captain said, finishing the line. Truer fucking words were never spoken. And God help him, he should ashamed of his own selfishness but wild horses or wilder Horsemen couldn’t drag him away from her, not tonight.

He returned her kiss, grasping for her, desperate to be inside her one last time. Hoisting her up in his arms, he sat down in the chair and pulled her down on top of him so she straddled his lap.

Then, he clawed at his belt buckle, releasing it, then the button fly on his jeans, freeing his cock. Greedily, he thrust two fingers into her and howled when he found her wet and ready for him. This was gonna be fast and hard.

With a growl, he positioned her on his prick. God, she was slick and hot around him, grasping his cock in a tight embrace.  He held her hips as she ground against him. She moved faster and faster, her eyes half-mast and drowsy with desire, teeth sinking into her lower lip. Faster and faster the moved until she gave a little cry that made his cock jump.

After spending the last few days learning her body, he could tell she was close, so he placed his thumb against her clit, giving it just the right amount of friction. She wailed as she came, thighs quaking and Captain stilled, letting her slick walls flutter around him. He bit the inside of his cheek and held off his own orgasm until she stilled, pressing her face against his shoulder.

He gave her a moment’s rest, and then pushed inside once more, arching up into her, urging her to ride him again.  He needed to be a part of her, live with her, if only for tonight. And she matched his frantic pace, with an urgency he didn’t understand.

This time, Eddie screamed his name as she came.

When he finally spilled himself inside her, the pleasure was so intense he felt like he’d shattered into a million pieces.

And he might never be able to put himself together once more.

***

“What did you want to tell me earlier?” she asked.

They were seated at the kitchen table, eating scrambled eggs straight from the frying pan. Eddie had said she was hungry, so he’d cooked for her. He promised himself he’d tell her the truth. He wouldn’t take the gutless way out, tell the club and then let them break it to her after he was dead. He deserved to live with her hatred, even if it was only a few hours.

Fuck, he shouldn’t be doing this now, but he had to.. They’d just made love. She was half-dressed. Vulnerable. And he was about to turn her world upside down.

Captain stared at her, tried to will the words to leave his mouth, but they wouldn’t come.

She gave a low whistle as she surveyed his face. “What’s wrong, honey?”

 “It’s about Joker,” he said finally.

“What about him?” Her brow furrowed as she scooped up some scrambled egg on her toast and took a bite.

“This is about the past. Something you don’t know about him,
about me
.”

“Okay,” she said slowly, the shadow of fear in her eyes. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”

“I did something terrible,” he confessed. “I want you to know that I’ve told you all of this hundreds of times, dozens of different ways in my dreams.  And I know it doesn’t count, but it’s something at least. This has weighed on my conscience for thirty years.”

“Captain, you’re starting to scare me,” she said, placing her hand over his, and giving a squeeze. “Just tell me.”

He withdrew the engagement ring from the pocket of his cut.  As it turns out, it was for a wedding he’d never get to have. “First things first, this is for you.” He thrust the box into Eddie’s limp hand.

She opened it, then stared open-mouthed at the ring. “Captain, what on earth is this…?” Closing it quickly, she tried to hand it back, but he waved it away.

“No, don’t protest, or tell me it’s too much. I want you to have the ring. It’s yours. I’ve been carryin’ it around for years, thinking about giving it to you.  It belonged to my grandmother originally.”

She shook her head. “If it’s a family heirloom, then Lex should have it.”

“Lex doesn’t want it and I never gave it to my ex. This is your ring. It’s always been yours. You’re the one, Eddie, it’s always been you and I’m the fucking fool who didn’t pursue you sooner. I’ve wasted so much time.”

“Captain—”

He plucked the ring from the blue velvet and held it out to her. “Can I see it on your finger? Please? Even if you don’t intend to wear it.” He could feel tears starting’ to gather in his eyes. Fuck if he would cry now. Not in front of her. He rubbed them away.

She opened her mouth to speak and then glanced at his expression, and evidently whatever she saw there, made her nod.

He slid the ring on and damn if it wasn’t a perfect fit, no resizing needed. For the second time that night, he went down on his knees in front of her. “I love you, Eddie.” He kissed the back of her hand, then turned it over, kissing the palm.  “I’d formally ask you to marry me. But I can’t.”

“Captain, what
the hell
is going on?”

“I brought all of it down on us,” he confessed.

She frowned. “Honey, I don’t understand. You brought what down on us?”

Fuck. She’d never call him honey again. “The RICO case.” God, he’d been holding the words in so long, he practically had to pry them out of his mouth.

She scooted the chair back and stood up, backing away from him. Then, she wrapped her arms around herself, shaking her head. “No, Viper did. Everybody knows he ratted out the club.”

“Yes, he was the state’s witness.” Captain stood up, approaching her slowly with outstretched hands. “But I set things in motion with an anonymous tip. I told them about the drug meet at the warehouse. I’m responsible.”

She stiffened, staring at him dazedly. “Why? Why would you betray your brothers?”

“Because Joker was about to do something terrible,” he said. “He was going to hand over some of the brothers to the Raptors. I overheard him talkin’ about it.”

She backed further away from him, eventually hitting the wall behind her. “What the hell are you talking about?  That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he send them to be slaughtered?”

Fuck. He had to tell her everything, or she wouldn’t believe him. “Because he was in love,” he muttered.

“Yeah!” she shouted. “With me, and our boys, and the life we had together here in this house.”

“No, he fell for someone else. I’m sorry, Eddie, but it’s true.”

“No.” She winced, the corners of her mouth turning down. Then, placed a hand on her heart.  “No, I don’t believe you. He would never to do that to or his boys. He loved us.”

 “I’m telling you the truth.”

“He would never—”

“He did,” Captain said, firmly, trying to make her understand. “He fell for Loretta Beauregard.”

“Loretta,” she whispered. Then, cupped her hands around her ears, trying to block his voice out. “No! You’re lying. You
have
to be lying.”

“Listen to me, Eddie. Her father was a Raptor, that’s how the Beauregards and the Raptors started to business together in the first place.  And to prove his loyalty, and that he’d actually turned his back on the Horsemen, the Raptors demanded Joker sacrifice some of his own brothers. He had to do it to prove he was worthy of her.”

“Shut up!” she shouted at him. “Just shut up. He loved me. He would never cheat on me and he’d never sell out his brothers.”

He tried to touch her, but she slapped his hands away.

 “Get out!” she hissed at him. “Get out and never come back here.”

“Can’t we at least talk about this?”

“No! Don’t say another word. Get out!” she screamed.

Captain swallowed the lump in his throat. His instinct was to comfort her, she was losing it, but he was the last person she’d let near her.  “Okay, I’m going. I’ll send Shepherd over to check on you.” She shouldn’t be alone with this kind of news and she needed a bodyguard. Someone should stay with her.  “Goodnight, Eddie.”

“
Goodbye
, Captain.”

There was a finality in those words he couldn’t deny. And it was exactly what he deserve— hatred, rejection. This night had been coming for a long time. Slowly, he walked outside to his bike, started it up, and took off for the lonely ride home.

Chapter Seventeen

Joker didn’t do it.

No, he
couldn’t
do it. Captain made this shit up. There’s no way Joker could be screwing around on her and she wouldn’t know, right?  No way. He wouldn’t do that to her, or their family. Or to his club.

But what if she was wrong?   The thought stopped her cold.

Captain wasn’t one for tall tales. Unlike most of the brothers, he didn’t sit around telling stories about guys he’d fought or women he’d loved and left. So where did this crazy shit come from? A misunderstanding?

It didn’t make sense! None of it.

Since she’d ordered him out of her house, she’d been pacing, muttering to herself, and she couldn’t calm down.  If she were being honest, she had to admit something about his accusation hit home, bothered her on some level.  Chilled her.

Admittedly, she didn’t really see Joker the way he’d actually been anymore.  He’d died and she’d granted him sainthood in her own mind. It was only natural, because he’d been murdered.  She only remembered the good things about him as a way of honoring his memory.

But Joker had been a man, not a saint.

They’d gotten married when they were kids. Hell, the first year was rough. Marriage was about putting the other person first and they’d both been young and selfish. She’d always known she wanted to be a mother. She’d been iffy on the wife part, but motherhood always suited her. Not so with Joker.  He’d gone along, but he hadn’t been excited about fatherhood. On some level, maybe he’d never wanted to grow up, have the responsibilities of a wife and children, a mortgage, and all those trappings of the adult world.  But they’d made it work somehow. Eddie had just stepped up and taken on the caretaking responsibilities, while Joker had been the provider.